We broke up because...

g44219

haha she would only wear one patch and pretend to be a pirate when we went out

PewterSky

Arrrr, he wanted me to get 2 gold teeth fitted to look more authentic. Talk about crazy!

BringerOfGainz

Her parrot kept me up at night

TxLisa251

Whenever we went out, birds would dive bomb him. I guess they knew he hated birds.

g44219

she kept telling me everything was bigger in Texas.

TxLisa251

Everything wasn't bigger in Texas.

g44219

haha she would try to wear spurs and bring a riding crop to bed

TxLisa251

He wouldn't wear chaps or a cowboy hat.

Thisnameischosen

He wouldn't get back on the saddle

g44219

accidently called her by the wrong name and she bucked me off too hard

TxLisa251

Bucked off because he didn't last 8 seconds.

handyrunner

She kept leaving the seat up

g44219

he put plastic wrap over the toilet and Vaseline on the door knob

TxLisa251

He put the toilet paper roll on "under" instead of the right way: "over."

slimgirljo15

Sweated the *small* things

TxLisa251

Bless her heart, but she had a bit too much boob sweat.

musclegood_fatbad

Said I got too sweaty during fun times

slimgirljo15

Didn't get sweaty with me nearly often enough

musclegood_fatbad

Her idea of getting sweaty was running in a sweatsuit

slimgirljo15

Pfft..yeah..but only so we could shower together after our run.. ...didnt like to share the shower

jbuzzed

She used all the hot water

musclegood_fatbad

Made me take cold showers

slimgirljo15

Wouldn't shower with me to conserve water

jbuzzed

Too environmental

slimgirljo15

Tried to steal the ropes off the bed to go rope climbing with...nobody touches my equipment

slimgirljo15

Cheater...so many women in our bed ..I had to install a revolving door to the bedroom

HappilyDistracted

Was always making strange home renovations... Kept getting me lost in secret passages with weird equipment

handyrunner

Declared our home to be its own country. Definitely third world

navyjen

I got bored

slimgirljo15

She got bored