Farting and the proper response

2

Replies

  • BigBeaver
    BigBeaver Posts: 858 Member
    It is a fact, that men, no matter what age, in groups, will do this common ritual of flatulance to see who can out-do one another. That said, I have been privy and part of this male ritual one to many times--when the weekly or bi-weekly game was to come about, you know that the men attending where sure to circle it on their calendars and figure when was the best time to eat foods that made you gassy as to gross out the person next to or across from you. It actually became a science as to which foods did the most damage to the old sniffers.

    However, I do tend to find it improper to fart in front of strangers or ladies. My wife on the other hand, that mystery of why I always ran to the garage has now become clear, because after 5 years together, the flatulance is not hidden any more! Of course, as any upstanding man would do, I have taught my daughter and nephew, "Pull my finger"
  • pressica
    pressica Posts: 361
    :blushing: oh my gosh... I must be immature, but this made me laugh soooo hard that my tummy hurts. Great comic relief! I try to be as proper as I can in public.

    However, one day I was walking down the hallway and right as I walked past the room my bf was in, my bum fluffed. I was so embarrassed that I kept on walking. However, he was thoroughly impressed and thought I had done it on purpose. For the next 10 minutes, he kept trying to replicate it. After that, he finally believed me that it was an accident. :blushing:
  • katz22
    katz22 Posts: 116 Member
    This thread made me laugh. I can't stand other peoples farts, but I laugh if I let one go. And vacate the area if it is after I've eaten prunes! (seriously if I touch prune juice it's like someone opened a sewer cover! Not good) The best fart sayings I have heard are "everyone loves their own brand " and "wether your in church or chapel, always let it go with a rattle"
  • katz22
    katz22 Posts: 116 Member
    This thread made me laugh. I can't stand other peoples farts, but I laugh if I let one go. And vacate the area if it is after I've eaten prunes! (seriously if I touch prune juice it's like someone opened a sewer cover! Not good) The best fart sayings I have heard are "everyone loves their own brand " and "wether your in church or chapel, always let it go with a rattle"
  • Sarahr73
    Sarahr73 Posts: 454 Member
    Well, when I am at home I claim mine, especially if they are super stinky and/or super loud. And if they are SBD's (silent but deadly), I usually don't say anything until my fiance notices, but he does the same to me. In public, I pretend it didn't happen. I have actually heard that it is super funny if you are in a line of people and accidently let one slip to blame it on the person next to you in line. I haven't done that one though.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Mine smell like vanilla.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

    So not true. I have the diet of a bodybuilder and rip it all day long. Not one ounce of anything unnatural.

    It's quite possible that you have food intolerances. Those will cause you to be gassy. Do you eat wheat products? Dairy? Peanuts? A lot of clean eating veggies just naturally make you gassy, but it could be something else. Or you could just be a man. You all fart too god damned much.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

    So not true. I have the diet of a bodybuilder and rip it all day long. Not one ounce of anything unnatural.

    It's quite possible that you have food intolerances. Those will cause you to be gassy. Do you eat wheat products? Dairy? Peanuts? A lot of clean eating veggies just naturally make you gassy, but it could be something else. Or you could just be a man. You all fart too god damned much.

    I eat Broccoli 4 times a day!!!! No intolerances here that I know of.
  • spaztastic13
    spaztastic13 Posts: 229
    As my grandpa always said" where ever you may be let your wind flow free"....bahahahaha....I love my grandpa and miss him very much!!
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    However, I do tend to find it improper to fart in front of strangers or ladies. My wife on the other hand, that mystery of why I always ran to the garage has now become clear, because after 5 years together, the flatulance is not hidden any more! Of course, as any upstanding man would do, I have taught my daughter and nephew, "Pull my finger"
    Hahaha. That reminds me, the first 6 months I was dating my boyfriend he'd get really bad stomach aches every night. We'd be lying in bed and he'd say, "I don't know what it is, but every time I sleep over here I get such bad stomache aches. Then came that glorious stage in the relationship where he felt it was ok to fart in front of me. About 2 months (and about 1,500 farts) later I realized he never got stomach aches anymore. Well, I guess that mystery was solved.
    But you're pretty laid back :wink:
    Don't make me come over there, Mr. Rogers!
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    However, I do tend to find it improper to fart in front of strangers or ladies. My wife on the other hand, that mystery of why I always ran to the garage has now become clear, because after 5 years together, the flatulance is not hidden any more! Of course, as any upstanding man would do, I have taught my daughter and nephew, "Pull my finger"
    Hahaha. That reminds me, the first 6 months I was dating my boyfriend he'd get really bad stomach aches every night. We'd be lying in bed and he'd say, "I don't know what it is, but every time I sleep over here I get such bad stomache aches. Then came that glorious stage in the relationship where he felt it was ok to fart in front of me. About 2 months (and about 1,500 farts) later I realized he never got stomach aches anymore. Well, I guess that mystery was solved.
    But you're pretty laid back :wink:
    Don't make me come over there, Mr. Rogers!

    OHHH Blow it out your *kitten*! :laugh:
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    I was taught, and still believe, that if you accidentally fart in public you say 'excuse me'.

    While I understand why children find farts funny, I continue to fail to understand how the belief that they're funny continues on into adulthood. It's just a natural bodily function.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    I was taught, and still believe, that if you accidentally fart in public you say 'excuse me'.

    While I understand why children find farts funny, I continue to fail to understand how the belief that they're funny continues on into adulthood. It's just a natural bodily function.

    A natural bodily function that can be a rip roaring sound to a small squeak that sounds like a mouse. It's funny, period.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    However, I do tend to find it improper to fart in front of strangers or ladies. My wife on the other hand, that mystery of why I always ran to the garage has now become clear, because after 5 years together, the flatulance is not hidden any more! Of course, as any upstanding man would do, I have taught my daughter and nephew, "Pull my finger"
    Hahaha. That reminds me, the first 6 months I was dating my boyfriend he'd get really bad stomach aches every night. We'd be lying in bed and he'd say, "I don't know what it is, but every time I sleep over here I get such bad stomache aches. Then came that glorious stage in the relationship where he felt it was ok to fart in front of me. About 2 months (and about 1,500 farts) later I realized he never got stomach aches anymore. Well, I guess that mystery was solved.
    But you're pretty laid back :wink:
    Don't make me come over there, Mr. Rogers!

    OHHH Blow it out your *kitten*! :laugh:


    haha Oh my god I'm going to get in trouble if I keep laughing like an idiot!
  • dodoodoodo
    dodoodoodo Posts: 101 Member
    hahaha
    i'm allll about tooting! i like when people do it in front of me because that means they are comfortable around me :)
    its totally normal and everyone should do it when they have to, and if they smell too bad just go outside

    although i don't get offended by much at all so i'm sure a lot of people would disagree with me on that!
  • H_82
    H_82 Posts: 418 Member
    This thread is too funny! I don't like smelling other people's farts (who does)...or my own for that matter, but my own don't completey repulse me ;P Sometimes & vary rarely, mine will slip out in public (say while shopping or something) & if it's a stinky one, I just get the heck outta that aisle! haha

    I don't fart in front of my husband & he doesn't in front of me (except in our sleep of course). I don't know - just something we do on our own time I guess. And we've been together for 12 years.

    Not exactly fart related...well, kind of...All I can say is how about that scene from Dumb & Dumber!? Funniest *kitten* ever!!! :laugh:
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    i always blame someone else even if its just two of us and i ripped it loudly
  • fitniknik
    fitniknik Posts: 713 Member
    IF you dont think farts are funny.... you are dumb :laugh:

    No really, farts are funny.

    Sometimes when I cant fart for added humor, I have a fart simulator on my phone. Unfortunately when they dont stink they arent as funny, but it gets the general idea accross.

    Farting Dueling banjos?? COME ON THATS F#@KING FUNNY!

    p.s. everyone likes their own brand
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

    Ummm........I believe the title of this board is "Chit-chat, fun, and games" - I don't think he was looking for dietary advice, just a good laugh :wink:

    I think it all depends on who you are with. When I am with my friends I let them rip and claim them too. I have been known to lock my friends in a tiny room after I let one rip in there. Call me immature, crazy, gross, whatever but farts are funny! Yes there are times when they are not so funny, like when they are coming from a dirty sweaty, greasy slob. I personally find it flipping hilarious when someone lets a silent but deadly and tries to play it off or ignore it and you know, oh you know it was them and they know you know it was them but they try to play innocent. Like someone stated before its always funny to see the facial expressions of people when they smell one but don't want to say anything, hahahahaa!! :laugh:

    Another funny kind of fart, The Sneeze Fart. Nothing cracks me up more then when someone sneezes and lets one rip at the same time on accident. Its like everyone in the room freezes because you don't know how to respond! Do you say "Bless you" and try to ignore the fart portion of that bodily outburst? That is why you should always hope for a good sneeze to fart ratio. Hope the sneeze is louder then the fart! Bahahhaahaa:bigsmile:

    Also, I read in a health magazine a loooong time ago that laughing a lot can make you gassy because all the air that gets into your digestive system from laughing. Well I love to laugh so I will take the gas :bigsmile:

    And also, also....there is a saying that if you find someone you can freely fart in front of then you found true love :smooched: Cuz seriously are you going to excuse yourself or try to hold them in for the rest of your life???
  • queen_bea
    queen_bea Posts: 118
    If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

    funny, cause ever since i started eating better i've gotten worse. My BF will smack me one every time i let one go. I'm worse than him now!
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    When in social situations I try to hold it and make it to the bathroom. At home I am more relaxed, but I don't have a issue that often. My husband is insanely gassy and I don't expect him to hold it in, but I have requested he not fart at the dinner table. A girl has to have some standards. Now when I was pregnant it I had horrid gas for the entire 9 months of each pregnancy. I would just hang out near frat boys and blame the stench on them. God it was awful.
  • Mommawarrior
    Mommawarrior Posts: 897 Member
    I work on a farm, all guys.....when I gotta fart, I fart....I try to make it come out as loud as possible and hope I don't crap my pants. Farting is part of life, if you think it is horrible, take it up with God.
    I say the loudest fart wins!
  • Mommawarrior
    Mommawarrior Posts: 897 Member
    OHHH Blow it out your *kitten*! :laugh:


    LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
  • Cam_
    Cam_ Posts: 515 Member
    Awesome and LOL!
    1) I try to avoid lighting up whilst people are eating.
    2) I say excuse me just to give people the heads up so they can run or take cover.
    3) Everything else goes.

    I find if I have too much protein powder, I get massive amounts of gas so that is a good indicator for me to back off a bit - I'm like a human hovercraft.
    A few folks mention broccoli but another item on the gassy list is bananas.
    Funny topic. :glasses:
  • libstr
    libstr Posts: 36 Member
    Im sitting here at work clenching my butt cheeks and trying not to laugh too loudly (that will also cause me to fart lol)

    I love to drop my guts when im at the shops with my girls, they often turn green and go.... oh gawd mummmmmmmm!! but then i get blamed even when its not me!!

    by the end of my working day i have bottled up so much gas that while i walk to my car i am jet propelled as i toot my way across the road :smile:

    I dont like to let em rip loudly in front of other people that I dont know nor in public as a general rule, but rules are meant to break LOL:happy:
  • NobodyKnows
    NobodyKnows Posts: 764 Member
    I wouldnt know, I only toot in my sleep - or says my one night stands.

    I can certainly think of worse situations than being tooted on by a hot woman after a night of sex.
  • MelanieP_TX
    MelanieP_TX Posts: 159 Member
    Thanks for all the LAUGHS! :sad: <<<these are tears of laughter!! :laugh:

    BTW- I will never admit it!!!
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Best. Thread. Ever.

    Seriously lol'd for like 10 minutes. Your responses are toooo fing funny
  • Suziq2you
    Suziq2you Posts: 396 Member
    Moments before I let one rip around my family I say "Uh oh. Sorry guys." If they don't move fast enough, too bad. I fart in my office on a regular basis. Keeps out the riff raff.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I work on a farm, all guys.....when I gotta fart, I fart....I try to make it come out as loud as possible and hope I don't crap my pants. Farting is part of life, if you think it is horrible, take it up with God.
    I say the loudest fart wins!

    I can't stop laughing...
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