Can't loss weight

Firewife18
Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
edited November 27 in Motivation and Support
I really want to lose weight so I can be healthier but I don't have any motivation or support could really use some support

Replies

  • jacklifts
    jacklifts Posts: 396 Member
    it's tough at the beginning. just start slow. in the beginning, little changes make huge huge differences. if you don't want to weigh and track all your food, just look at your diet and take out ONE thing that you know has a lot of calories. For example, if you drink sugary drinks (soda, juice, coolaid, powerade, etc), cut that out and see what happens. If you eat fried chicken every day, switch it to grilled chicken.

    use 10 minutes once a week add exercise to your habits....just 10 minutes, once a week. you can walk, jog, dance, whatever you like for 10 minutes, just so that you're out of breath at the end.

    see where that takes you, and come back to the boards and ask more questions once you've gotten going.
  • Firewife18
    Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression
  • I don't understand the support thing. I'm not being insensitive but when I decided I was/am tired of being fat I just made the decision to change. I don't need any one to support me. You want it bad enough you make it work. I'm surrounded by all types of high calorie no good items. I cook them all the time for my husband but choose not to consume them. It's all about being your own cheerleader and making the decision to do this for you. Good luck with your goals. You did it before so you can definitely do it this time. Learn to rely upon yourself for support if outside support is not there.
  • janjunie
    janjunie Posts: 1,200 Member
    If you really want to lose weight then do it, who care what everyone else says. No one cares about you losing weight people care about themselves and what's going on in their own lives. You have to really want it and be ready to lose the weight. Exercise can help with depression....so can medication if your doctor feels you need it. Think about why you want to lose weight in the first place and go from there.
  • Firewife18
    Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
    Thanx I am really trying I've been working on my self motivation and self support I want to lose weight bad and I've put my mind to it and that's what I'm going to do I'm in school to become a hair dresser so that is my motivation since my kids tell me I'm fat along with others
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat
  • jacklifts
    jacklifts Posts: 396 Member
    well, if you have no motivation and you've regained previous weight, then in my opinion, you're at the beginning again. whenever I'm at the beginning with no motivation, I find the least little step that I can do that requires the smallest motivation.

    If I was in your shoes, I would change ONE eating habit and add ONE exercise routine, a short one so that there is absolutely no excuse not to do it. Just change ONE thing, see how far it takes you. When you see a positive outcome, it will create positive feelings which will help you to change more things.

    Good luck
  • Firewife18
    Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    I can't do then when 2 of them are my children
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    I can't do then when 2 of them are my children

    But...

    How old are these kids, to begin with? Are they literally pointing and laughing at you all "OMG Mom u r so fat!" or are they saying "Mom, look, you're way overweight, you need to get this under control before it starts affecting your health" and you're hearing "Fatty fatty two-by-four"?

    If it's the former, that's... kind of on you. Nobody will raise your kids if you don't. Farming out the child-rearing to the wolves in the back yard will end badly for everyone involved. If you've never taught them that making fun of someone's weight is rude and will not be tolerated under your roof, no one else is going to step in and teach them that lesson for you.

    If it's the latter, that one is also on you. Expressing concern about your health out of love is not the same as calling you fat. Learn to hear what they're saying instead of playing the victim.
  • brb2008
    brb2008 Posts: 406 Member
    I don't understand the support thing. I'm not being insensitive but when I decided I was/am tired of being fat I just made the decision to change. I don't need any one to support me. You want it bad enough you make it work. I'm surrounded by all types of high calorie no good items. I cook them all the time for my husband but choose not to consume them. It's all about being your own cheerleader and making the decision to do this for you. Good luck with your goals. You did it before so you can definitely do it this time. Learn to rely upon yourself for support if outside support is not there.

    I agree. There's a lot of hand holding from time to time, but when you strip away everything else all that matters is your own personal responsibility for your choices. You don't want to be fat? Then you eat less. If that's hard for you then you learn and learn until you find ways to make it simpler or fit into your schedule more. No one is doing it for you. Be your own reason to just do it. I have been back and forth and up and down the past 60 days of my logging, I'd do great for a few days then give in to all my old habits because I just hadn't committed to the plan. Now I have an I won't be looking back. This determination will get me there. Find it in yourself and get to work! You absolutely can do it just you yourself.... And you.
  • abkma
    abkma Posts: 2 Member
    I don't understand the support thing. I'm not being insensitive but when I decided I was/am tired of being fat I just made the decision to change. I don't need any one to support me. You want it bad enough you make it work. I'm surrounded by all types of high calorie no good items. I cook them all the time for my husband but choose not to consume them. It's all about being your own cheerleader and making the decision to do this for you. Good luck with your goals. You did it before so you can definitely do it this time. Learn to rely upon yourself for support if outside support is not there.

    Love "choose to be my own cheerleader". I so need to repeat this all day every day.
  • chey282
    chey282 Posts: 96 Member
    Even if all you can do is add more steps to your day, maybe get an affordable pedometer and count steps, challenge yourself to walk more steps every day/week/month. A year ago that's where I started. Now, I'm logging daily (for the most part) working out almost daily again, and down 25 lbs. As already stated, if you don't really want it for the right reasons, it's not going to happen. And it's more discipline than motivation and support. It's kinda hard to hold someone's hand online, although we are all here for each other, most of the success stories I've read have been about determination and self discipline. Small steps lead to giant leaps!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    It doesn't matter to me what anyone around me is doing. I choose how I will take care of myself.
  • Firewife18
    Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    Well I can't do that with
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    I can't do then when 2 of them are my children

    But...

    How old are these kids, to begin with? Are they literally pointing and laughing at you all "OMG Mom u r so fat!" or are they saying "Mom, look, you're way overweight, you need to get this under control before it starts affecting your health" and you're hearing "Fatty fatty two-by-four"?

    If it's the former, that's... kind of on you. Nobody will raise your kids if you don't. Farming out the child-rearing to the wolves in the back yard will end badly for everyone involved. If you've never taught them that making fun of someone's weight is rude and will not be tolerated under your roof, no one else is going to step in and teach them that lesson for you.

    If it's the latter, that one is also on you. Expressing concern about your health out of love is not the same as calling you fat. Learn to hear what they're saying instead of playing the victim.

    For one I have taught my kids not to make fun of people and nobody said I was playing the victim
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    Well I can't do that with
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    I can't do then when 2 of them are my children

    But...

    How old are these kids, to begin with? Are they literally pointing and laughing at you all "OMG Mom u r so fat!" or are they saying "Mom, look, you're way overweight, you need to get this under control before it starts affecting your health" and you're hearing "Fatty fatty two-by-four"?

    If it's the former, that's... kind of on you. Nobody will raise your kids if you don't. Farming out the child-rearing to the wolves in the back yard will end badly for everyone involved. If you've never taught them that making fun of someone's weight is rude and will not be tolerated under your roof, no one else is going to step in and teach them that lesson for you.

    If it's the latter, that one is also on you. Expressing concern about your health out of love is not the same as calling you fat. Learn to hear what they're saying instead of playing the victim.

    For one I have taught my kids not to make fun of people and nobody said I was playing the victim

    Well, if they're calling you fat, you clearly haven't. You can't have it both ways.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    OP, what is your first step going to be? What new habit will you make or what negative habit will you stop. You need to take the first step on your path. We'll be here to help you when you stumble.

    Today is the first day of the rest of your life- how are you going to take your life and health back into your control?
  • Firewife18
    Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    Well I can't do that with
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    I can't do then when 2 of them are my children

    But...

    How old are these kids, to begin with? Are they literally pointing and laughing at you all "OMG Mom u r so fat!" or are they saying "Mom, look, you're way overweight, you need to get this under control before it starts affecting your health" and you're hearing "Fatty fatty two-by-four"?

    If it's the former, that's... kind of on you. Nobody will raise your kids if you don't. Farming out the child-rearing to the wolves in the back yard will end badly for everyone involved. If you've never taught them that making fun of someone's weight is rude and will not be tolerated under your roof, no one else is going to step in and teach them that lesson for you.

    If it's the latter, that one is also on you. Expressing concern about your health out of love is not the same as calling you fat. Learn to hear what they're saying instead of playing the victim.

    For one I have taught my kids not to make fun of people and nobody said I was playing the victim

    Well, if they're calling you fat, you clearly haven't. You can't have it both ways.
    [/quote

    I know I asked for the criticism from people on here but are u in my house no my children are young and when they hear people calling me that every day they pick it up yes I have taught my children not to make fun of people and they don't they r just telling me the truth but it hurts me when it comes from my kids don't get it twisted they aren't making fun of me
  • Firewife18
    Firewife18 Posts: 70 Member
    fiddletime wrote: »
    OP, what is your first step going to be? What new habit will you make or what negative habit will you stop. You need to take the first step on your path. We'll be here to help you when you stumble.

    Today is the first day of the rest of your life- how are you going to take your life and health back into your control?

    I have Startex cutting out alot of negativity and cutting back on certain foods and drinks
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    edited December 2015
    wife12 wrote: »
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    Well I can't do that with
    Larissa_NY wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    wife12 wrote: »
    This isn't the beginning for me I've lost weight but gained it all back I have no support every one around me except my fiance says I'm fat and that gets depressing and don't help my depression

    Stop surrounding yourself with people who call you fat

    I can't do then when 2 of them are my children

    But...

    How old are these kids, to begin with? Are they literally pointing and laughing at you all "OMG Mom u r so fat!" or are they saying "Mom, look, you're way overweight, you need to get this under control before it starts affecting your health" and you're hearing "Fatty fatty two-by-four"?

    If it's the former, that's... kind of on you. Nobody will raise your kids if you don't. Farming out the child-rearing to the wolves in the back yard will end badly for everyone involved. If you've never taught them that making fun of someone's weight is rude and will not be tolerated under your roof, no one else is going to step in and teach them that lesson for you.

    If it's the latter, that one is also on you. Expressing concern about your health out of love is not the same as calling you fat. Learn to hear what they're saying instead of playing the victim.

    For one I have taught my kids not to make fun of people and nobody said I was playing the victim

    Well, if they're calling you fat, you clearly haven't. You can't have it both ways.

    I know I asked for the criticism from people on here but are u in my house no my children are young and when they hear people calling me that every day they pick it up yes I have taught my children not to make fun of people and they don't they r just telling me the truth but it hurts me when it comes from my kids don't get it twisted they aren't making fun of me

    All I know about your house is what you say about it, and what you say about it is that your kids call you fat. Apparently you don't believe there's any way to get them to understand that that's not okay. Good luck with that - you're the one who has to put up with it, not me.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    It's very hard to find people on the same page as you. If you wait you may never make the change
    Make a small goal for yourself today and get going
    Next time your kids call you fat again you give them a suitable punishment till they stop
  • xALEXANDROx
    xALEXANDROx Posts: 3,416 Member
    Add me for motivation and support
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    wife12 wrote: »
    fiddletime wrote: »
    OP, what is your first step going to be? What new habit will you make or what negative habit will you stop. You need to take the first step on your path. We'll be here to help you when you stumble.

    Today is the first day of the rest of your life- how are you going to take your life and health back into your control?

    I have Startex cutting out alot of negativity and cutting back on certain foods and drinks

    Great. That's a good first step. Can you be more specific? What drinks are you cutting back on? Do you have s pedometer to count your steps?

    It sounds like you're under a lot of stress, which can derail you going forward. Kids will repeat what they hear, but I'd ask the adults around your kids to stop discussing your weight. It isn't any of their business, especially being said in front of little kids.

  • tichondria
    tichondria Posts: 40 Member
    I believe you can do this. I let myself go and got up to 308 lbs. That was 3 months ago. I have lost 30 lbs as of today. I finally looked in a mirror and told myself that enough was enough. I completely understand the need and want to have support of people to back you up and give you encouragement to truddle through. Depression is an ugly horse to ride and having kind words goes a long way to keep that head from rearing up. Like others have said, you need to stop thinking about everyone else and start thinking about you.

    It's hard, believe me. I suffer from BI-Polar and PTSD but it's possible. Pick small battles, don't look at the big picture. Start with small goals. Use MFP to log everything that you eat/drink no matter what it is. This tool is amazing in letting you know what your trouble foods/drinks might be and where you can start cutting back to limit how many calories you are taking in. MFP does a great job with giving you a basic goal in calories and what not to stick to per day. It even lets you add in any exorcise. And by that I mean ANY exorcise... your a mom, so that means your walking and on your feet a LOT with little kids. Some people like to get things like a fitbit to count how many steps in a day they take (a lot have good results with that combined with MFP)

    Find something that you enjoy doing, be it by yourself or with your family and be sure to do it at least once a week. It's a great stress reliever and really helps out when you need some quiet encouragement. And also.. your more than welcome to add me as a friend if you like. I try to be as active as I can, and I love to encourage other people. I'm horrible about encouraging myself, but i find when I'm helpful or encouraging to others, I feel better about myself and in the long run it's helpful to me in my own weight loss goal.

    You can do this though.. Have faith in yourself!!!
  • RosemaryBronte
    RosemaryBronte Posts: 103 Member
    The thing that helps the most is to eat 3 home cooked meals a day and have a fruit snack for morning and afternoon tea. As your body feels nourished, the cravings for junk will decrease. Finish each meal with either milk, yogurt or low fat cottage cheese. Meanwhile find a soothing kind of meditation and use it to be kind to yourself. At first you will still need sweets but that will decrease. Meanwhile choose a smaller chocolate bar when you can. Gradually the nourishment will work. Try to find friends who are kind and encouraging. Think of the healthy food as your way of loving yourself and making yourself happier. God bless you.
  • RosemaryBronte
    RosemaryBronte Posts: 103 Member
    Your fiance sounds really nice. If other people call you fat, just say, 'i don't find insults helpful. No one does.' And then get on with finding healthy food that you enjoy and eat satisfying amounts of it. There's no need to starve yourself. I am eating 1800 calories each day and slowly losing weight as i gradually include some exercise in most days. I know several people who have lost lots of weight by eating 3 home cooked meals a day - not low fat or high fat, not low carb or high carb, not low calorie or high calorie .- just healthy yummy meals.
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