New Vegan engaged to a hardcore meat eater

I'm and Atheist and my wife isn't. I'm tolerant of religion and don't engage in discussions with her or family members on it.
But IMO, sometimes polar opposites when it comes to eating, religion, and political stances can affect the relationship. Love sometimes only is a small part of a marriage. The rest deals with compromise and tolerance.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I'm an ovo-lacto vegetarian, and was happily married for over 20 years to a meat-eater and hunter (widowed, not divorced, before anyone starts thinking about why I used the past tense). Yes, it can work. Everyone's different, so this is just my opinion, but a couple of things seem crucial to me.

First, neither person should be harboring "eventually, s/he will come around" ideas about the other's lifestyle. (In general, implicitly assuming your partner will change, or that you can change them, is a Bad Plan for a happy relationship, in *anything* IMO, not just eating preferences.)

Second, flexibility. My husband was willing to eat (and even cook) vegetarian meals at times to make our household logistics and together-time work out (he liked pretty much all foods, and focused his meat consumption on meals we were apart, and on restaurant eating). I had no problem with him cooking meat at home, eating it at meals we ate together, and occasionally even cooked it myself or helped him do so (if there was some cooking technique I was more up on than he was), etc.

You need to be able to work out your day-to-day life in a harmonious way, with no hidden agendas or secret resentments, in other words. It adds a difficulty, but it's not anything like insurmountable.

A few thoughts after 18 years of wedded bliss:

1. This certainly isn't insurmountable but will definitely pose an obstacle.

2. Mealtimes are an important part of married and family life. You should figure out now how you intend to conduct them. Will you both just cook for yourselves? Will you take turns cooking? Is he willing to eat vegan meals sometimes? Are you willing to cook meat? Is he willing to cook vegan?

3. You will have to figure out how you will feed young children, and this will almost certainly be a source of discord. The children won't really be able to "stick to a lifestyle" or make their own decisions until they are nearly adults.

Thin_Beauty94 wrote: »

I love him so I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Any other couples like that? Just curious.

Thin_Beauty94 wrote: »

I love him so I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Any other couples like that? Just curious.

Thin_Beauty94 wrote: »

I love him so I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Any other couples like that? Just curious.

My fiancé and I are like this I am newly vegan and he is a big meat eater. We have a two year old boy and I am raising him as a vegetarian. He is very supportive and encourages me to be vegan if it's what I really want to do and he has no problem with our son being raised on a meatless diet.