Not Doing Well at All...

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My_Butt
My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've found my usual support system on here has fallen apart. So many of my Mfp buddies are struggling with their own EDs. This time of year seems to be getting to all of us.

I guess I'm just doing a frustrated rant because I don't want my buddies to see this when they're struggling to. I don't know why. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Advice? Support? Understanding? I've read the literature, I've talked to counsellors, called crisis line, taken medication, tried yoga.... I'm just crumbling now.
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  • bigboomer2005
    bigboomer2005 Posts: 153 Member
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    Hey this time of year is hard for a lot of people just remember your not alone you have friends and support here. Feel free to add me if you'd like
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    Maybe start a thread seeking new friends who aren't struggling? It doesn't hurt to meet new people Anyway
  • coachfeliciad
    coachfeliciad Posts: 54 Member
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    My_Butt wrote: »
    I've found my usual support system on here has fallen apart. So many of my Mfp buddies are struggling with their own EDs. This time of year seems to be getting to all of us.

    I guess I'm just doing a frustrated rant because I don't want my buddies to see this when they're struggling to. I don't know why. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Advice? Support? Understanding? I've read the literature, I've talked to counsellors, called crisis line, taken medication, tried yoga.... I'm just crumbling now.

    Hey girl. Don't crumble. It's not worth it and you know what'll happen? After you've broke down and hit bottom, you'll get that burst of energy where you perk up and realize that you CAN do this but you would have lost precious time that you can never get back. Trust me, I've been there and I wish that instead of crumbling, I would have just sucked it up, focused on what needed to be done and not cared about what everyone else was doing or not doing. All I should have focused on was me. I'll send you a friend request so I can talk to you more and see if maybe I can help you :)
  • MiSo_SeXy
    MiSo_SeXy Posts: 210 Member
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    I'm struggling too. The holidays are always hard.
  • Obnoxa
    Obnoxa Posts: 187 Member
    edited December 2015
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    Western culture really promotes & associates gluttony with the holidays; you are far from alone in this area.
    The best thing to do is dig your heels in and try to make whatever efforts you can. Maybe that means only eating at maintenance or maybe it's as simple as logging regardless of what you've consumed. Just do your best and don't beat yourself up; even healthy and fit people don't have a static number on a scale they never deviate from.
    Most of us aren't here because we ate shi**y for a couple weeks, it took months and years of bad choices. As long as you are even doing one thing that is for the benefit of your health, you're doing one more thing than you were before.
    Good luck :)
  • mtjohnston42
    mtjohnston42 Posts: 180 Member
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    The struggle is what makes it all worth it! Even though it feels like hell.

    Feel free to add me always good to have more friends. And do your best to remember that it's about the long game. During this difficult holiday time wake up and set an intention to simply do your best. It's ok to fail. In January when the dust has settled you can get back to making some solid short term goals to achieve.
    My_Butt wrote: »
    I've found my usual support system on here has fallen apart. So many of my Mfp buddies are struggling with their own EDs. This time of year seems to be getting to all of us.

    I guess I'm just doing a frustrated rant because I don't want my buddies to see this when they're struggling to. I don't know why. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Advice? Support? Understanding? I've read the literature, I've talked to counsellors, called crisis line, taken medication, tried yoga.... I'm just crumbling now.

  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I think the combination of being sick and not feeling physically hungry, and being mentally sick and not wanting to eat is really making things tough. My lack of motivation to force myself to eat is my ultimate downfall.
  • RosemaryBronte
    RosemaryBronte Posts: 103 Member
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    I am reading a book called Change Anything by Kerry Patterson. It has some good ideas. Meanwhile I am sending you love and good wishes. You will get through this difficult patch. Try this simple meditation. Relax the muscles around your eyes. Now relax your shoulders. Feel a pleasant relaxation going through your body. Now pick up an imaginary jar of starlight and tip it over yourself. The starlight soaks into you. You feel peaceful and sparkling and lovely - just like the real you. God bless you.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Sometimes I just try to remember that on the afternoon of the 25th all reverts back to normal pretty much. That's in two days. Remember the place you were in a month ago, the better place, and pretend you're there now, with no last minute things to get stressed about. You know how many calories you need to eat, you ate that amount one or two months ago, so it's time to get back to those habits.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    Nuts? I don't know how EDs go when you can't make yourself eat, but I had to do it for about a year because of an disease I had. Nuts and hard-boiled eggs and half a Snickers when I could bear it were my go-to attempts to get something in me. Good luck!!
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    RosemaryBronte wrote: »
    I am reading a book called Change Anything by Kerry Patterson. It has some good ideas. Meanwhile I am sending you love and good wishes. You will get through this difficult patch. Try this simple meditation. Relax the muscles around your eyes. Now relax your shoulders. Feel a pleasant relaxation going through your body. Now pick up an imaginary jar of starlight and tip it over yourself. The starlight soaks into you. You feel peaceful and sparkling and lovely - just like the real you. God bless you.

    I did try meditation last Sunday. It was actually pretty relaxing, but it didn't last long. I did download a few apps to try again.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    cafeaulait7 wrote: »
    Nuts? I don't know how EDs go when you can't make yourself eat, but I had to do it for about a year because of an disease I had. Nuts and hard-boiled eggs and half a Snickers when I could bear it were my go-to attempts to get something in me. Good luck!!

    It seems most veggies and fruits are my 'safe' foods. Before this hit, I had a bunch of hard boiled eggs on hand that I was eating as snacks. It's like I have to ask that weird little voice for permission before I eat anything. If it's 'safe' I can have it. If it's a 'fear' food, I'm not allowed having it.
  • MaVieEntiere
    MaVieEntiere Posts: 135 Member
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    God bless you, friend. So sorry its hard. We are here for ya!
  • liznotyet
    liznotyet Posts: 402 Member
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    If going inside yourself is too difficult, getting outside usually helps me. Hey you've been on MFP for almost a year, you know that the passage of time is observable from many levels, from far out to too darned close. Get some perspective and some fresh air if you can. 2015 is almost done!!! Hooray! :)
  • Aisle4
    Aisle4 Posts: 24 Member
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    my 12th holiday season with Ed, he is annoying "af" and I really wish he would leave me alone....u gotta laugh don't hate me I was hysterically crying in my car the other day bc of my ED...love you
  • Vodka97
    Vodka97 Posts: 95 Member
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    Holiday periods are hard for EVERYONE. Don't worry, it's nearly over and the new year (and your new mindset) is on the horizon!
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    My_Butt wrote: »
    I've found my usual support system on here has fallen apart. So many of my Mfp buddies are struggling with their own EDs. This time of year seems to be getting to all of us.

    I guess I'm just doing a frustrated rant because I don't want my buddies to see this when they're struggling to. I don't know why. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Advice? Support? Understanding? I've read the literature, I've talked to counsellors, called crisis line, taken medication, tried yoga.... I'm just crumbling now.

    What did the counsellor say? What did the crisis line suggest?
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    My_Butt wrote: »
    I've found my usual support system on here has fallen apart. So many of my Mfp buddies are struggling with their own EDs. This time of year seems to be getting to all of us.

    I guess I'm just doing a frustrated rant because I don't want my buddies to see this when they're struggling to. I don't know why. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Advice? Support? Understanding? I've read the literature, I've talked to counsellors, called crisis line, taken medication, tried yoga.... I'm just crumbling now.

    What did the counsellor say? What did the crisis line suggest?

    Their main goal was to 'take you from a hot moment to a cool calm'. They asked me to describe some other coping mechanisms instead of self harming. I've done the meditation, I've had background tv sounds on, and last night I had music on. I plan on starting yoga up once I feel better (I'm sick), which was helping during the summer.
  • GemFromJannah
    GemFromJannah Posts: 58 Member
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    I used to self harm and zone out on strong pain killers. I wasn't able to handle overwhelming stuff and pretty much felt crazy. So I created a Twitter account to anonymously get out my deep thoughts & feelings, recently I've started using the pain from exercise as an outlet for the inner pain, doing ab crunches til it burns. I can only offer advice on what worked for me.

    Also try drinking turmeric milk with coconut oil every night. It helps with so many different stuff including nervous issues and anxiety.

    1flat Tspn turmeric
    1 cup organic cows milk or cup of almond milk
    1 pinch of black pepper
    Heat in a pan (don't boil)
    Add a large teaspoon honey & drink

  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    GemFromJannah wrote: »
    I used to self harm and zone out on strong pain killers. I wasn't able to handle overwhelming stuff and pretty much felt crazy. So I created a Twitter account to anonymously get out my deep thoughts & feelings, recently I've started using the pain from exercise as an outlet for the inner pain, doing ab crunches til it burns. I can only offer advice on what worked for me.

    Also try drinking turmeric milk with coconut oil every night. It helps with so many different stuff including nervous issues and anxiety.

    1flat Tspn turmeric
    1 cup organic cows milk or cup of almond milk
    1 pinch of black pepper
    Heat in a pan (don't boil)
    Add a large teaspoon honey & drink

    I'll have to try that. I've been doing well for the past week. I still have not self harmed. So since I attempted to eat more today and I haven't injured myself, I'm rewarding myself by dying my hair purple.

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