New member: 54lbs lost +pictures&story :)

Hi everybody, I'm new here, but I've lurked a little bit before off and on. I wanted to share my story with you guys, kind of a, getting it out in the open, off my shoulders, type of thing. It'll be lengthy, sorry about that in advance haha. You can scroll to the bottom if you don't wanna read all of it. (:

So, my name is Emily. Since about May of 2014 I have lost a total of 54lbs. It has been a rollercoaster of a journey, my dieting and calorie counting and so on has been off and on a lot. I was a normal sized kid, but I started gaining weight more excessively when I was about 10 years old. And May 2014, I hit my highest weight at 204lbs (im 5'5 tall). That day that I stood on the scale and saw those numbers, I was done, and then started my journey. I managed to lose about 35lbs by watching what I ate, exercising, so on. In the beginning of August 2015, I got a bad case of Colitis, was in the ER crying my eyes out, unable to walk, had a fever and pretty excruciating waves of pain, they were positive it was appendicitis and were ready to prep me for surgery after they did a CT scan. Did the scan and I had Colitis, it was bad. Steroids, antibiotics, narcotics, I didn't eat, at all, for 2 weeks. Maybe a few spoonfuls of applesauce. I was so weak from malnourishment I could barely take a few steps, but the pain of eating was too bad. But, I healed, and the severe inflammation of my intestines caused me a weight loss of about 15-20lbs in I think 10-14 days.

That's when it started. I've been sick most of my life since I was 5-6 years old. Stomach issues, always kept a cold, pneumonia, bronchitis, strep throat, you name it. I had x-rays, CT scans, blood tests, ultrasounds, a duodenoscopy, everything, multiple times, and nothing. Doctor after doctor. Test after test. Well, after the Colitis, I started seeing my now Gastroenterologist and new Physician. Down the road I went on to gain a Gynecologist, Behavioral Therapist, a Hand Surgeon, and soon a Pediatric Rheumatologist. They together discovered I had Celiac's Disease, severe Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, Endometriosis, Insomnia, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Ovarian Cysts. I am 16 years old, by the way. So, at that point, I had to go through hell and back repeatedly. New medications, tests, doctors, it was the hardest time in my life. Side effect after side effect, and I wasn't doing good. My mindset left my depression and anxiety running me over, I wouldn't even get out of bed. But, we managed to start getting the medicines and doses right. I have been on Zoloft, an anti-depressant, for 4-5 weeks now, which has left me feeling like I can make it, like everything will be okay. I have to take Adderall, due to my grades plummeting when all my problems came to surface, and that has given me a sense of self-control and clarity. I have to take sleeping meds, as my insomnia left me with only 2 hours of sleep every night for years. The other things I take, one to relax my intestines, one to reduce the acidity, continuous birth control to keep the endometrial tissue from growing, and a strong NSAID for my arthritis.

I tell you guys all of this, because since it all I have only had judgemental eyes. People telling me I'm just a pill popper/junkie, that it's all in my head, that I just want attention, the people I loved and trusted completely betraying me, and only throwing judgement at me. I am telling you, I am saying it here, because I have to. I need to. For me. I'm done saying I am fine. I am done hiding it. I have learned over the months that there is nothing bad about having diseases you cannot control, so I have no shame or embarrassment from them. As for the medicines, if trying to get help, to feel better, to survive past my 20's, if people say that is wrong, then I'm not the one who needs help.

Getting all of that over with, I truly am better. I want to build back my life, build myself up. I have been ripped down and torn apart repeatedly, and now, I'm taking gorilla glue and putting that *kitten* back together and it's staying that way. For once in my life I feel hopeful, I feel willing, and I am taking full advantage. I am happy. And I am proud of that. And I wanted to share it, and wanted to be able to read others stories they have shared, and hopefully learn from everyone here.

With that, I have pictures. Now, the last bit of my weight loss hasn't been by my doing necessarily. My Adderall came with a side effect that hit me hard, loss of appetite (it speeds your metabolism along with your mind). It made me not hungry, I barely ate, well, still don't (working on it with my doc, we switched medicines because of it). I weighed 164lbs when I started Adderall about 8+ weeks ago. I weigh 148lbs today. So, I won't take credit for loss that I didn't work for, I didn't earn the loss, but nonetheless it doesn't bother me, I just don't want to say I tried, when I didn't, I know how hard it is to calorie count and diet and so on. Now, it is hard for me to share these pictures, I've always been a private person and ashamed of my weight, but I need to do this, I want to do this. So, here is about a years difference. The before pictures I am about 190lbs. The afters I took today, at 148lbs.

http://imgur.com/vwWELAw

My goal now, is to tone up, to get fit. My arthritis is my biggest enabler, the pain makes it very difficult to even get out of bed in the morning by myself, even on pain medicine. Even though exercise is difficult, it helps after the soreness goes away. For me, everything is 10x harder than it should be. So, I am starting slow, but I am starting. I still have a little bit of pudge at the bottom of my stomach that I'd like to lose/tone, but losing weight isn't really my priority, I just want to be healthier, more fit, and of course toning up and looking better will be a nice outcome from that.

Sorry for the awfully long story/post, thank you for bearing with me, I appreciate the ability to be here, can't weight to jump in!