My boss asked me out at the Xmas party?

Ugggggghhh yeah that's really awkward. I know I'd feel the same way as you (like I have to leave), even though logically you should not have to leave at all! I HATE when people do stupid things like that and make things weird.

f1tness4life wrote: »

Hi,

So my boss asked me out at the Xmas party, he was drunk. He said he loved looking into my eyes and spending time with me and my smile lit up the room blah blah blah. He's married with 2 children. his wife works at the company too but their marriage is pretty much over no that it matters. Im completely devastated because I loved my job but now i feel like i just have to leave because i feel so so so uncomfortable. Can't talk to HR as she is the biggest gossip in the company and it will get reported to his wife who is more senior.

I'm back to work tomorrow and i just don't want to be there.

I told him no at the time, said he needs someone his own age and I'm not interested. I have witnesses too. Just hate it.

He also joined my gym a while back so now i feel like i need to change gyms!!! hating life!! Help!

f1tness4life wrote: »

Hi,

So my boss asked me out at the Xmas party, he was drunk. He said he loved looking into my eyes and spending time with me and my smile lit up the room blah blah blah. He's married with 2 children. his wife works at the company too but their marriage is pretty much over no that it matters. Im completely devastated because I loved my job but now i feel like i just have to leave because i feel so so so uncomfortable. Can't talk to HR as she is the biggest gossip in the company and it will get reported to his wife who is more senior.

I'm back to work tomorrow and i just don't want to be there.

I told him no at the time, said he needs someone his own age and I'm not interested. I have witnesses too. Just hate it.

He also joined my gym a while back so now i feel like i need to change gyms!!! hating life!! Help!

Go through the appropriate channels. Don't let him win when you did nothing wrong.

I am so sorry to hear that happened to you! Being sexually harassed at work by a drunk manager is not okay on so many different levels, and it is even worse that you don't feel that you have recourse through the HR department.

If you love your job and don't want anything to change, you can definitely try to see if it blows over. If it doesn't or you still feel uncomfortable, document everything and talk with HR (document your conversation with her as well). If she gossips or gets you fired and does not address your concerns you have a lot of ammo for a larger recourse against the company itself.

First you do need to talk to HR even though they may be a gossip hound. You should at least get it on record that it happened. You don’t necessarily need to pursue it in any way but just to have it on record in case anything happens later. Have your witnesses document it also. He now knows that you have no interest in him, so any additional advances should be considered harassment (if you report it to HR). If your company has a decent set of policies & procedures, any additional unwanted advances should get him fired and not you. If it gets to the point that he’s treating you unfairly you should seek the advice of a lawyer.

I don't predict a great outcome. You should probably report it, but that will create an uncomfortable work place.

You can let it go and hope it was the alcohol talking and that he might not even remember it.

In either case, you might want to update your Resume.

Sorry this happened.

If this was the first time he's ever made a pass at you, I would chalk it up to the booze and move on. However, if he has come on to you before, or if it happens again, I would definitely report it. I've had coworkers come on to me, or behave inappropriately toward me, at company parties, and I've always given them the benefit of the doubt under the circumstances. It's never been a boss, however (I've always reported directly to gay men or straight women) but I can see how this would create a more awkward situation...especially since his wife works for the company as well.

Fact is, you are a gorgeous woman, and it is likely that there are other men in your office who are also attracted to you, but haven't had the nerve (alcohol-fueled or otherwise) to say it. You still have to get through the workday knowing there are colleagues who think you're hot.

Just say no.

Ignore it unless he follows up on it he may have been just drunk and had beer goggles on
don't change your job because of this

ignore unless it happens again.

I think that is a creepy thing and he had no right to make an advance on a subordinate. I think a boss should do it never.
That said, you said no. Nothing else has happened. I am not sure it is a big deal yet.....