Starting over

My wife pretty much eats whatever she wants (within reason, I'll give her credit.. she does try to watch out for me now) most of the time. She's also lost 40 lbs in the last year by at least being conscious about what she eats along side me. She weighs and measures things now for me when she's cooking (at my request) but still loves pasta, etc. I simply started making my own recipes along side hers to make up for it. For instance, when she wants spaghetti I make it the same way I always do, but I buy a spaghetti squash and use it in place of my pasta. I also buy low fat or no fat cheese to use along side hers. I weigh it all, measure it all, and make sure it fits into my daily calories. I limit the amount of bread, or buy multi-grain versions along side hers for myself. It's worked for me, but it's been somewhat expensive. I buy unsweetened almond milk to use along side her 2% regular milk. She uses sugar, I use Truvia. She logs nothing, where I log every gram I eat.

I also work a desk job 8-5 M-F with weekends off. For that reason I get up an hour earlier every day and work out for 30 minutes before work. It sucked at first and I was tired but after a week or so I found I slept better at night rather than tossing and turning until midnight with the TV on. Now I can't keep my eyes open past 10pm during the week and I feel much better each morning at 5:30 when I wake up to exercise. It can be done.

Whatever "Southern Comfort" food he wants, try making it but weighing and making up a MFP recipe for it. That way you'll know how many calories are in a serving and how much you can eat. Adjust it with other ingredients for yourself if necessary, or hell.. just change some ingredients without telling him and make it healthier. Healthier doesn't have to mean it tastes worse. I can't tell you how many times I've made my own recipes (large pots of stuff like chili, veggie soup, etc.) and measured out the recipe after it's done cup by cup into another pot just so I knew how many "servings" there were. Then I follow the recipe I entered on MFP each time and I know how many calories are in the recipe per serving and it takes much less effort.

kelliesmith968 wrote: »

That is very helpful. I recently moved into a house, and bought an elliptical, I wanted a "fresh start" so I woke up at 5:30 and did a good 30 min workout...it was the hardest thing..I guess like every one else...I want the results without the work..it is so hard. But I know I need to get up and do it if I want any motivation, consistency, and results. This is just hard living with someone who can eat whatever he wants without consequences. I understand what your saying. I would be awesome if we could do this together, but he is not into this kind of thing. But the relationship is going to become difficult when one person loves himself and the other person cannot stand her body. I feel like I "start over" all the time and im ready to do this thing for real. We actually just got a crock pot for our house and chli and soup is not a bad idea. Thank you for your advice!

I used to be able to eat what I wanted without consequences. That was back in my 20's and I worked a manual labor job 40+ hours a week. Even your husband will find that later in life it'll catch up to him unless he stays in a career that keeps him active. Regardless you just have to put your foot down and say "I'm not eating that". It sometimes pisses my wife off and I've heard things like "you don't like my cooking any more". It's mostly when she's giving me *kitten* and isn't really serious. But I can tell she gets annoyed at my new habits sometimes. Especially if I dirty two pans, or more dishes because I made 2 different things for dinner. But she got used to it. The thing is that I'll still make the things she likes (we pretty much both cook 50% of the time). Dirtying extra dishes bugs her but that's why I bought her a dish washer lol. Anyway, just take a look at the things you eat now, make healthy substitutions and make two batches if you must. Make him try your batch, and you'll probably find he likes some of the substitutions. If he does, then it's a win. If he doesn't, keep making two versions.

As far as the exercise, getting up early to work out has been the best decision I have made. It wakes me up, keeps me more alert during the day, and in general has made life better for me. It's now hard to take a day off from exercise because I feel like a sloth that entire day, so I adjust the calories down if possible. I also notice that days I don't work out early my metabolism slows down, and I am hungry all day. I want to snack snack snack. So now I hate days off of exercise. I skip them a lot too and just keep on exercising.