Spouse is not supportive

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  • minniestar55
    minniestar55 Posts: 350 Member
    lithezebra wrote: »
    I've learned that my weight loss is entirely my own business, and I don't make anyone else go on a diet with me. That means that my husband can have his snacks in the house, and it's up to me to stick to my goals. I'm loved no matter what my weight, and that's more important than getting "help" with my diet. He eats my healthy cooking though...

    My husband is supportive in that he is happy I'm happy with what I'm doing; compliments me about it too. I eat a bit differently than him, but dont mind the extra cooking, etc. My food choices are about me, he actually eats healthier than he used to, but its his choice what he wants to eat. I'm lucky that he's never really tried to sabotage me or belittle me or anything, but if he did, it would still be about my choices.
  • BeaUtiful_1413
    BeaUtiful_1413 Posts: 200 Member
    angiedwill wrote: »
    Mine isn't overly supportive either. According to him I'm fine just like I am. I know I need to be in better shape so I work at it just to get no response from him at all. But I'm over it....I'm doing this for me not for him.
    Same here!
  • KellzNew92
    KellzNew92 Posts: 214 Member
    I'm the same, he keeps saying I'm fine how I am. I don't feel the same as him. Makes it so difficult
  • tatiannajanel
    tatiannajanel Posts: 22 Member
    My boyfriend gives a false sense of support. He'll encourage my lifestyle change but then suggest going out to eat every week. Or he'll bring home fast food for the both of us. No wonder why I've gained almost 40lbs while dating him.
  • WendyLaubach
    WendyLaubach Posts: 518 Member
    At first my husband was skeptical. He also finds talk about dieting boring, which I understand, because I've never liked to hear people talk about it either (until now), so I've been trying not to talk about it obsessively with him--I do all the obsessing here! I think he was also nervous about having to change how he cooks or eats just because I had a sudden enthusiasm. Gradually, though, he saw I'd still eat what he cooked, only less of it, and if I wanted anything special I'd handle it myself. Also, when the weight actually started coming off, he could see I was serious. He's still a little nervous that I'll get "too skinny," which I think is hilarious. I've advised him that we can worry about that many, many pounds down the road.
  • KWKirkbride
    KWKirkbride Posts: 119 Member
    edited January 2016
    nvm




  • Bry_Fitness70
    Bry_Fitness70 Posts: 2,480 Member
    My wife is pretty hostile towards my fitness efforts. She gets annoyed that I weigh my food and log all of my calories and I generally have to workout very early in the morning or during lunch at work, or else face an argument over being selfish and putting my fitness ahead of the family's needs. The $25 a month fee for the gym is always mentioned as a wasteful expense, as well as buying occasional fitness necessities and protein bars. Meanwhile, my male peers in our social circles all spend thousands on sports season tickets, gambling, and fantasy football, and have atrocious eating habits that are already catching up to them in terms of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and pre-diabetes. The lack of respect for what I'm doing is frustrating, to put it mildly...
  • cake21
    cake21 Posts: 13 Member
    hmfishy wrote: »
    My husband loves me just as I am. He knows how miserable I am in this body, and then he feeds me to feel better. He is a kind wonderful man, but I use him to enable me. I don't buy junk, but he does and then I eat it. I know that I need to be strong no matter what anyone else is doing. I LET him sabatage me. .. must find something I love more than the junk food he brings home. .. I think success will do it. Lose some weight, get healthier, it will feel so much better than chips and dip or chicken wings. I want him to stop bringing it all home. ... sort of. TERRIBLE! :)

    This is exactly like my husband and me. Thank you I feel more positive just knowing I'm not alone! We CAN do it :)
  • djpgrl28
    djpgrl28 Posts: 24 Member
    I understand my wife isn't down to work out or support me. She eats the ice cream and junk food most the time but i need support too. So add me we can do this
  • WendyLaubach
    WendyLaubach Posts: 518 Member
    bw_conway, that $25/month gym fee is going to seem pretty cheap compared to the lost wages and Rx bills of family members who ignore things like diabetes.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    tatiannajanel wrote: »
    My boyfriend gives a false sense of support. He'll encourage my lifestyle change but then suggest going out to eat every week. Or he'll bring home fast food for the both of us. No wonder why I've gained almost 40lbs while dating him.

    Suggest a restaurant where you know you can get something healthy. I usually order broiled meat or fish and the sides that are non-starchy vegetables.
  • lions32
    lions32 Posts: 165 Member
    Try including your spouse in some of your activities.
  • khen1013
    khen1013 Posts: 5 Member
    Thank goodness I'm not alone. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, I've basically stopped going to the gym. I have two jobs so when I had a free minute, I used to go to the gym Now, though, he makes me feel bad about never getting to see me so instead I sit and watch TV with him and do nothing even remotely active. I went almost three months without eating refined sugar because it made me feel so much better and gave me more energy and broke so many bad habits but as soon as I started dating him, I began to falter because he thought it was kind of dumb and unnecessary. I'm not putting the blame on him but it's so so hard dating someone that doesn't understand what I'm trying to do and how I'm trying to do it.
  • larlelar
    larlelar Posts: 19 Member
    I won't say that mine is necessarily unsupportive, but I have to be the tough one for both of us all of the time. We made a promise to ourselves and each other that we would lose weight and get fit if we were to have kids. I have a 6 month old girl and I've lost about 80lbs, quit smoking, eat clean, lift weights, etc... He's lost about 40lbs (he's still very heavy) in that same time frame, but still runs on garbage, lives a sedentary lifestyle, smokes, etc. it's hard for me because I feel like having a little person who needs us is all the motivation he should need... But I guess change is hard for him.

    I also know in my heart that I can never slip up, because if I ever said "screw it" he would gladly go back to eating massive amounts of trash food constantly. I think the only reason he eats less is fear of divorce.

    He's a wonderful man and I hope he gets better and better, I'm just maybe a little impatient.

    Sorry for the lengthy vent. I do hope your spouse supports you more eventually. My brother is my gym bro, I don't know what I would do without his help and support. I hope you have somebody!
  • TheRunningman1985
    TheRunningman1985 Posts: 66 Member
    I use to find excuses why I was overweight and in most cases i would blame my mrs. But the real issue was with me and no one else was to blame. Having the support from within your home can make your journey easier but if its not there dont worry about it. Some people just don't know how to support. In the end you are doing this for you. You dont need the support if you really want this go get it. Your on MFP this is your support
  • luciahough
    luciahough Posts: 11 Member
    edited January 2016
    Whoa I just saw this post after I made one. My boyfriend doesn't eat that healthy and brings home crap and he's gained some weight himself but he just doesn't like the same healthy foods I do. He was deployed on and off for 1.5 years so I ate pretty healthy while he was gone but now that he's done deploying the weight seems to be here to stay. I need to have more willpower to just say no I suppose.
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