Spouse is not supportive

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  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    tatiannajanel wrote: »
    My boyfriend gives a false sense of support. He'll encourage my lifestyle change but then suggest going out to eat every week. Or he'll bring home fast food for the both of us. No wonder why I've gained almost 40lbs while dating him.

    Suggest a restaurant where you know you can get something healthy. I usually order broiled meat or fish and the sides that are non-starchy vegetables.
  • lions32
    lions32 Posts: 165 Member
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    Try including your spouse in some of your activities.
  • khen1013
    khen1013 Posts: 5 Member
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    Thank goodness I'm not alone. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend, I've basically stopped going to the gym. I have two jobs so when I had a free minute, I used to go to the gym Now, though, he makes me feel bad about never getting to see me so instead I sit and watch TV with him and do nothing even remotely active. I went almost three months without eating refined sugar because it made me feel so much better and gave me more energy and broke so many bad habits but as soon as I started dating him, I began to falter because he thought it was kind of dumb and unnecessary. I'm not putting the blame on him but it's so so hard dating someone that doesn't understand what I'm trying to do and how I'm trying to do it.
  • larlelar
    larlelar Posts: 19 Member
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    I won't say that mine is necessarily unsupportive, but I have to be the tough one for both of us all of the time. We made a promise to ourselves and each other that we would lose weight and get fit if we were to have kids. I have a 6 month old girl and I've lost about 80lbs, quit smoking, eat clean, lift weights, etc... He's lost about 40lbs (he's still very heavy) in that same time frame, but still runs on garbage, lives a sedentary lifestyle, smokes, etc. it's hard for me because I feel like having a little person who needs us is all the motivation he should need... But I guess change is hard for him.

    I also know in my heart that I can never slip up, because if I ever said "screw it" he would gladly go back to eating massive amounts of trash food constantly. I think the only reason he eats less is fear of divorce.

    He's a wonderful man and I hope he gets better and better, I'm just maybe a little impatient.

    Sorry for the lengthy vent. I do hope your spouse supports you more eventually. My brother is my gym bro, I don't know what I would do without his help and support. I hope you have somebody!
  • TheRunningman1985
    TheRunningman1985 Posts: 66 Member
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    I use to find excuses why I was overweight and in most cases i would blame my mrs. But the real issue was with me and no one else was to blame. Having the support from within your home can make your journey easier but if its not there dont worry about it. Some people just don't know how to support. In the end you are doing this for you. You dont need the support if you really want this go get it. Your on MFP this is your support
  • luciahough
    luciahough Posts: 11 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Whoa I just saw this post after I made one. My boyfriend doesn't eat that healthy and brings home crap and he's gained some weight himself but he just doesn't like the same healthy foods I do. He was deployed on and off for 1.5 years so I ate pretty healthy while he was gone but now that he's done deploying the weight seems to be here to stay. I need to have more willpower to just say no I suppose.

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