Struggling with maintaining!!

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teresadutton
teresadutton Posts: 232 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
UGH!!!! I am so struggling with maintaining! I have always only known how to do 2 things....gain weight...lose weight! I lost 100 pounds by doing very low carb, but VLC is not something I can personally do for the rest of my life. SO counting calories seems to be the way I need to go. But for some reason I am having a hard time with it. I cant seem to wrap my brain around the fact that I will need to count calories the rest of my life, I am having an internal temper tantrum about it LOL! I know what I need to do but cant seem to implement it. I want the most food for my calories but don't know what to eat! Seems like everything I like has so many calories in it. Any advice?? How do I get my brain to agree to what I want to do? How do I get out of loss weight/gain weight mode? I just want to eat normal and maintain my weight, I worked to hard to get it off to gain any of it back!! I refuse to gain it back!!! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
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Replies

  • Keladelphia
    Keladelphia Posts: 820 Member
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    Ugh maintaining is hard and you sound just like the thoughts in my head the last few times I lost weight! I really think maintenance this time is different for me though. The reason why I think it's different is because as bad as it sucks (and as much as I throw that internal tantrum) I have come to the conclusion that I will never eat intuitively and will likely need to log my food for the rest of my life if I want to maintain :/ . At first I found this rather disheartening. I felt like I had to eat at my maintenance calories every day and that if I was over my calories I was magically going to gain all of my weight again. What I’ve found works for me is to use my wonderful ability to gain and lose to my advantage. I’ve set a seven pound window of acceptable weight. Though I’m still eating healthy foods I allow myself to be lax with my logging for a couple of weeks (who cares if I gain a couple, I’m good at gaining right?). Then I weigh in and if I’ve gained more than 2 pounds (which the longer I maintain the less this happens) I tighten up my logging and eat at a slight deficit for a couple of weeks (oh, I’m good at losing too so no big deal). Unfortunately after Christmas I’m up about four pounds so tight logging lose mode it is! Ha-ha. This cycle of gaining and losing within that 7 pound window has allowed me to not focus on my weight and logging for a couple of weeks out of the month which provides me with a level of sanity about maintenance I never had when I’ve lost weight in the past. If you really don’t want to log calories perhaps you could try eating intuitively for a couple of weeks, weigh in and if you’ve gained just do VLC for a couple of weeks until your back at a number you are comfortable with. Regardless you’ve done an awesome job so far. You’ve got this!
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    Maintaining is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I lost 50lbs in 2012 and I've had a few ups and downs since then (started a new job and ate badly and put 16lbs back on then lost it again) but all in all have stayed in a 5lb range. Losing was easy. Gaining is easier.

    You do know you don't have to stay A weight forever right? Pick a reasonable range. Mine is 152-148. Some people even have a 10lb range. If the scale goes above 152 I start logging again. And within a week or two I'm back in the range. Secret is? Weighing yourself at least once a week. It's when you don't know you can't fix it.

    Find a way of reasonably eating. You don't need to do very low carb, VLC forever. Eat 80% healthy, 20% treats. Eat what MFP gives you as a maintainance goal. Log for awhile just to get your footing (I quit logging everyday in May, I have come back a few times just to get back into it).
  • JustSomeEm
    JustSomeEm Posts: 20,222 MFP Moderator
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    Trying to maintain on a diet that is different from the one you lost weight on is tough. Try pretending that you are 'starting over' for a few weeks to get out of the low-carb mindset. Take a few weeks to a month to eat what you like, just be sure to log it all as accurately as possible - and don't stress too much when you go over calories for the day. As you log, you'll be learning what you can and cannot eat OR what you can have lots of and what you shouldn't have too much of... and you'll find yourself making modifications to the way you eat so that you are near your MFP number each day. Since you lost weight with a WOE that you're not willing to do for the rest of your life, you'll need to teach yourself to eat in a way you CAN stick to. You've got this. :flowerforyou:

  • teresadutton
    teresadutton Posts: 232 Member
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    KellyAnn1286 wrote: »
    Ugh maintaining is hard and you sound just like the thoughts in my head the last few times I lost weight! I really think maintenance this time is different for me though. The reason why I think it's different is because as bad as it sucks (and as much as I throw that internal tantrum) I have come to the conclusion that I will never eat intuitively and will likely need to log my food for the rest of my life if I want to maintain :/ . At first I found this rather disheartening. I felt like I had to eat at my maintenance calories every day and that if I was over my calories I was magically going to gain all of my weight again. What I’ve found works for me is to use my wonderful ability to gain and lose to my advantage. I’ve set a seven pound window of acceptable weight. Though I’m still eating healthy foods I allow myself to be lax with my logging for a couple of weeks (who cares if I gain a couple, I’m good at gaining right?). Then I weigh in and if I’ve gained more than 2 pounds (which the longer I maintain the less this happens) I tighten up my logging and eat at a slight deficit for a couple of weeks (oh, I’m good at losing too so no big deal). Unfortunately after Christmas I’m up about four pounds so tight logging lose mode it is! Ha-ha. This cycle of gaining and losing within that 7 pound window has allowed me to not focus on my weight and logging for a couple of weeks out of the month which provides me with a level of sanity about maintenance I never had when I’ve lost weight in the past. If you really don’t want to log calories perhaps you could try eating intuitively for a couple of weeks, weigh in and if you’ve gained just do VLC for a couple of weeks until your back at a number you are comfortable with. Regardless you’ve done an awesome job so far. You’ve got this!

    THANKS!! It all sucks!! LOL Losing, gaining, maintaining!! I just want to magically somehow now that I am at a normal weight be able to eat anything and everything I want and be thin!! LMAO UGHHHH!!!!! I like what your doing though.
    Do you mind if I friend you?

  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
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    Attempting to maintain and perhaps shave off a few lbs. as well, just to keep my edge. 1 year out. It's tough but possible!

    Let's keep it going!

    :D
  • teresadutton
    teresadutton Posts: 232 Member
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    Thanks everyone!!!! I have just got to figure this out! Who knew maintain would be soooo much harder and soooo much more mental then losing! I CAN DO THIS though, I KNOW I CAN!!! I just HAVE to find my comfort place!! Since I have a few pounds to lose since the holidays I am going to make a goal of 1200 cal a day, which I will break into 2 600 cal meals, eat about 10am and again at 3:30 or 4pm. That is my goal for the next week. Then when I am back down I will continue this but up my calories to 1400 or 1500 broke into 2 meals of 700 or 750 cal meals. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! My brain is tormenting me about all of this. I need to relax and know I got this!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    I am dealing with this right now. I've maintained my weight for abt 14 months, but before this, I've either lost or gained weight. Being mindful about my intake is something I associate with losing weight deliberately. I have to change that attitude. But this takes time, and in the meantime I need to trick my brain. Thankfully, I have a very gullible brain.

    I don't count calories any more. But counting calories made me aware of me how much food I need and how different kinds of food impact me. I have made myself a meal plan - a loose template for four meals a day. As long as I follow this plan, and don't add anything, I slowly lose weight. But sometimes I just want something, and I eat. So I gain, slowly. When I reach my "top" point, the highest weight I find acceptable, I just go back to following my meal plan strictly. Because it's made up of a variety of foods I love, it's not difficult. I just do it. After 10 - 14 days, I reach my "low", and I go back to the occasional "treat". This way, I have a rythm of ups and downs. "Dieting" is something I know how to do. So I just go on a "mini diet" every month or so. Over time, I think I'll will be able to extend the periods; no big deal to lose the same 2 - 3 kilos six times per year.
  • Keladelphia
    Keladelphia Posts: 820 Member
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    teresadutton wrote: »
    KellyAnn1286 wrote: »
    Ugh maintaining is hard and you sound just like the thoughts in my head the last few times I lost weight! I really think maintenance this time is different for me though. The reason why I think it's different is because as bad as it sucks (and as much as I throw that internal tantrum) I have come to the conclusion that I will never eat intuitively and will likely need to log my food for the rest of my life if I want to maintain :/ . At first I found this rather disheartening. I felt like I had to eat at my maintenance calories every day and that if I was over my calories I was magically going to gain all of my weight again. What I’ve found works for me is to use my wonderful ability to gain and lose to my advantage. I’ve set a seven pound window of acceptable weight. Though I’m still eating healthy foods I allow myself to be lax with my logging for a couple of weeks (who cares if I gain a couple, I’m good at gaining right?). Then I weigh in and if I’ve gained more than 2 pounds (which the longer I maintain the less this happens) I tighten up my logging and eat at a slight deficit for a couple of weeks (oh, I’m good at losing too so no big deal). Unfortunately after Christmas I’m up about four pounds so tight logging lose mode it is! Ha-ha. This cycle of gaining and losing within that 7 pound window has allowed me to not focus on my weight and logging for a couple of weeks out of the month which provides me with a level of sanity about maintenance I never had when I’ve lost weight in the past. If you really don’t want to log calories perhaps you could try eating intuitively for a couple of weeks, weigh in and if you’ve gained just do VLC for a couple of weeks until your back at a number you are comfortable with. Regardless you’ve done an awesome job so far. You’ve got this!

    THANKS!! It all sucks!! LOL Losing, gaining, maintaining!! I just want to magically somehow now that I am at a normal weight be able to eat anything and everything I want and be thin!! LMAO UGHHHH!!!!! I like what your doing though.
    Do you mind if I friend you?

    Of course you can friend me! Trust me, it does get easier with time!
  • millzy64
    millzy64 Posts: 50 Member
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    KellyAnn1286 wrote: »
    I’ve set a seven pound window of acceptable weight. Though I’m still eating healthy foods I allow myself to be lax with my logging for a couple of weeks (who cares if I gain a couple, I’m good at gaining right?). Then I weigh in and if I’ve gained more than 2 pounds (which the longer I maintain the less this happens) I tighten up my logging and eat at a slight deficit for a couple of weeks (oh, I’m good at losing too so no big deal).

    This is exactly what I've been doing for the past couple of years since I hit my goal weight. Sometimes more successfully than others, but it's the only thing that is working for me. My window is 10 lbs and I weigh myself every day. If I notice I'm gaining a few lbs, I pay more attention to my intake. If I find I've hit the high point, I start logging until I'm back down to the low. It's a bit of work and something you have to always be thinking about, but after all that work losing so much weight, it's worth it.

    As to what to eat, you need to find foods with similar taste profiles but that are lower in calories. For example, I replaced chocolate with sugar free instant pudding. Very low in calories and loaded with protein. I used to eat a LOT of candy in front of the TV at night. I've replaced that with fresh grapefruit or tangerines. I still like hard cheeses, etc and found that I could put together a huge snack plate by cutting a 1 oz serving into very small squares, throw in a serving of turkey pepperoni and a lot of baby carrots, pickles, cherry tomatoes, etc. An hour of snacks for very little calories. My wife was always upset with me while I was dieting because I was constantly eating and losing weight.

    Stay with it and congratulations on your success!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,717 Member
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    " I just want to magically somehow now that I am at a normal weight be able to eat anything and everything I want and be thin!!" this is a common thought and a bit hard to accept at first. Someone a while back likened this "acceptance" to having to wear eyeglasses or a hearing aid for the rest of your life. You may not want to rely on these things, but if it improves your health and quality of your life, then you will. I think the same applies to calorie counting and exercising.
  • nmcknny
    nmcknny Posts: 479 Member
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    That's very smart, millzy64! I'm trying to not reach for the wrong foods when I want a snack, so I'll try this. Does anyone belong to a maintenance group they can recommend?
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
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    Take one day at a time - it's easier that way. Log everything - EVERYTHING. It only takes a few minutes a day - and it's worth it - and - stay active - we're all in the same boat!
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
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    teresadutton wrote: »
    Thanks everyone!!!! I have just got to figure this out! Who knew maintain would be soooo much harder and soooo much more mental then losing! I CAN DO THIS though, I KNOW I CAN!!! I just HAVE to find my comfort place!! Since I have a few pounds to lose since the holidays I am going to make a goal of 1200 cal a day, which I will break into 2 600 cal meals, eat about 10am and again at 3:30 or 4pm. That is my goal for the next week. Then when I am back down I will continue this but up my calories to 1400 or 1500 broke into 2 meals of 700 or 750 cal meals. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! My brain is tormenting me about all of this. I need to relax and know I got this!

    Yes, maintenance is the hard part, which is why around 90% or so of dieters (depending on the study) regain all, or even more, of their weight lost during their diets. Honestly, I believe these studies are missing a large number of people that actually do maintain for long periods due to methodological issues but it's obvious that what the vast majority miss is that a restrictive diet for a specific goal won't work for long term weight loss.

    It may seem frustrating and there will be days that you won't log and that's ok, but if the price to pay for maintaining and not being on the yo-yo for the rest of my life is logging forever than it's a small price to pay.
  • FitGirl0123
    FitGirl0123 Posts: 1,273 Member
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    Maintaining is definitely hard. It's hard to get out of the mindset of now you can just eat whatever you want and maintain. Just eat sensibly and continue to exercise. Unfortunately for some of us, counting calories will be needed to maintain weight. Whatever it takes!
  • BikeTourer
    BikeTourer Posts: 191 Member
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    The whole point of logging is to learn where the trade offs are. There are days when I indulge but days where I look at some foods and decide they are not worth the set back and other days where I'll do extra exercise so a particular food fits in. More often than not the dense food is not worth it. Finding the food that work for you--is a journey. Crap food generally is calorie dense but doesn't keep hunger and cravings at bay. It is really hard to blow your goal if you eat your fruits and vegetables they fill you up a lot for the calories. Keeping hunger at bay is key. All I can say is with persistence you can learn to like low calorie nutrient dense foods and have room for an occasional calorie bomb. But if you have the mindset all calories are created equal, yes to your weight that is true but how hungry and how frequently you are hungry what you eat matters.

    Also look at your macros, the default settings for fat, protein and care work for most. Days where in off on my %, I tend to have issues.
  • ilovesweeties
    ilovesweeties Posts: 84 Member
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    I don't think of it as logging and counting for the rest of my life... I try to think of it as logging and counting for now. I'm not ready to give up logging yet as when I do, I lose control. One day though- it took 31 years to develop the bad habits so I expect it will take more than one year to break them. For now, my occasional huff about logging and keeping up my exercise is SO worth it to be slim and stay fit!
  • frostiek
    frostiek Posts: 4 Member
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    The acceptable weight range also works for me. I've enjoyed my Christmas, but was comfortable that once the feasting is finished I have the tools to get those extra few pounds back off to where I'm happiest. Maintaining is harder than losing in a way, but I wouldn't sacrifice all the work I've done and how much better I feel for all pies in Christendom! Keep going you've worked too hard to waste it x
  • jacklifts
    jacklifts Posts: 396 Member
    edited January 2016
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    teresadutton wrote: »
    just want to magically somehow now that I am at a normal weight be able to eat anything and everything I want and be thin!! LMAO UGHHHH!!!!!


    I feel the same way. I'm not at goal yet, but I've started to think about it.

    In tracking how much I eat when eat naturally, I find myself eating around 4K calories a day - which is double my current intake. Obviously, even when I finish losing my weight, I won't be able to eat 4K calories a day, so will still have to track.

    However! There is the concept of reverse dieting. The idea is what once you've hit your goal weight, you (very) slowly add calories to your diet, with the idea of getting your metabolism used to a higher level of maintenance calories. It's essential to lift weights during this phase, so that your body partitions the calories to muscle. At some point, you'll have gained some weight, both fat and muscle, but eating at a much higher calorie level. At that point, you then reduce your calories again to lose mostly fat and keep most of the new muscle - this also requires heavy weight lifting. Once you've hit your new goal weight, you repeat the cycle. Over the course of a few years, you should be able to effortlessly maintain an ideal bodyweight (low body fat, not necessarily normal bmi) at a much higher calorie level - i.e. eating whatever you want while staying healthy.

    That's the theory at least ! :)

    EDIT: check this out
    http://www.themacroexperiment.com/about.html
  • kasaz
    kasaz Posts: 274 Member
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    I find exercise to be the biggest help in maintaining my weight. I joined a challenge for the year and plan to walk/hike 2000 miles. I would still like to lose about 10 pounds, but I maintained pretty well even through the holidays. Also the Beck Diet for Life, which is not any one particular diet but Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, so it works no matter what food plan you are trying to follow. Good luck to you. You can do it!
  • kluvit
    kluvit Posts: 435 Member
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    You are right in that it is much harder mentally to maintain than it is to focus on losing, but you're getting a lot of good advice. I've been maintaining for almost 4 years (until this month when I went back to Lose Weight mode as I creeped up a pound over my +/- 3 pound acceptable range). At some point, you can stop logging everyday. When I'm perfectly at the mid-point of my range and eating all of the same foods I know are within budget, I don't need to log. But, when I eat foods that are not a part of my routine, I do need to log them to educate myself on their impact. I also need to log when I catch myself falling into old habits, increasing portions, decreasing activity, etc. The way I got out of my range was a loss of focus for too long. Good news is that I've only got 4-5 pounds to lose, and we all know that's easy. My lifelong goal is to never need to lose more than 5 pounds, but it's not magic...it's a journey of give and take. Give yourself a break on vacation, but return to logging when it's over to help yourself get back into the habits than made you successful in the first place!

    Stick with it! You made it this far, so You can Do This, too!!!

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