Getting started alone

efinney23 · January 2016

I'm getting married in 107 days, I need to lose a little weight but not to much before then so my dress fits good. But after my wedding I plan to really kick butt and lose 87lbs before our one year anniversary trip. I'm trying Dance Fitness and walking, and I'm counting my Calories, I'm also doing slim fast shakes for some of my meals. But I think my biggest set back is going to be my fiancé, he doesn't wanna try to lose weight and he doesn't really feel like I need to (though I'm over 200lbs right now) so he is continuing to eat fast food and junk food, and doesn't want to cook healthier food or eat smaller portions. Idk if I can do this on my own! My friends are trying to support me but I'm worried with my fiancé not helping I might not do to well.. Any advice?

David2788 · January 2016

Congratulations on the wedding! It is always easier to loose weight and be healthier when you and your partner are in it together but its not impossible to do it on your own, you just need to have a lot of will power. If he wants to eat fast food and junk food then let him and you cook your own healthy delicious food and wants he sees you being healthier and more active then he will soon want to join in on the healthy eating!

ArielSwaim · January 2016

I feel you! My fiancé is always telling me I'm fine just the way I am but I am trying to lose weight to feel good about myself and overcome anxiety. We don't have a wedding date set yet but I want to reach my own personal goals before I even try on dresses. We just moved to California from Washington to be closer to his family so I am completely alone here, I don't know anybody! So far I have gone gluten-free because of some health issues and since I don't know my way around here yet I just take walks around our neighborhood and use the Biggest Loser DVDs I have. It's hard because he eats out all the time while I have to prep and prepare all my meals. My goal is to lose 60lbs (so I can get under 200lbs) and then I'll set another goal from there, somewhere between 160-180lbs. Feel free to add me if you'd like, maybe we can bounce some ideas around and help eachother stay motivated.

Cobourg · January 2016

My husband of 25 years is not very helpful either but he does eat the healthy meals I prepare and if I don't buy the junk food then he doesn't tend to so do either unless he comes grocery shopping with me.

Clobern80 · January 2016

It can be done. I lost 150 pounds on my own (gained most of it back through the cruelty of life) but I am basically doing it on my own again. You just have to want it more than anything else.

One thing I will say, however... don't ever hold it over his head or make him feel bad for not wanting to participate. If he at least supports you and encourages you and is happy for you, that is all that should be required. But don't make him feel that he should be doing it with you.

Best of luck to you. Add me if you like.

schandler1011 · January 2016

This is a great community and we're here to support you. I also do a program that has a lot of support and we're at about 40,000 members on our FB group. Let me know if that is something you might be interested in as well.

OfficiallySexyVal · January 2016

Congrats on the upcoming wedding. I am recently married and expecting baby number 2 in about 3 weeks. My hubby tries to be supportive of my weight loss as well however he is a smaller guy who has never had to watch his weight. He is roughly about 135lbs soaking wet and as for myself at almost 9 months pregnant I am at 315 talk about a size difference... lol... I try to constantly prepare healthy foods for my family but my hubby makes it hard when he is constantly picking through his food and taking out the things he doesn't like then follows up his meals with junk food. He is supportive when try to work out or be active but the food support is a bit lacking. And lets face it the last thing a woman wants her husband to say is ummm honey do you really need to eat that....lol...
I have been on MFP for a while but I am always looking for new friends to help support and encourage along this difficult journey.

jpoutney · January 2016

I did MFP last summer with good results. Eye opening actually... Just getting back into it again as I've signed up for a 10km race this summer and I have a good 40-50lbs to lose before then or my hips/knees won't make it. Having a supportive partner isn't crucial but it does help. I'm sorry I don't have any jaw dropping advice for your situation with your fiance. We have 3 kids, so our mentality is always to try and be good models for our children, especially because they are all girls! I really liked "clobern80" advice. If you don't push him, maybe he'll join in when he sees the results?

ashowers36 · January 2016

I feel your pain when it comes to your significant other. My husband is not just over weight he is obese. I have tried so many times to talk to him about it and tried motivating him to take walks with me or just do something besides sit at the computer playing games on his days off. I've even tried a reward system for him but nothing seems to work.

As of Jan 1st of this year I have decided I was going to lose 2 stones (28 lbs) by the end of June this year. I think this is a reasonable goal but like you my husband is going to be my real test as he likes to enable my bad habits by buying me little treats because he wants me to be happy. I get it that I am not the most pleasant person to be around when I am trying to diet but I really need to make this goal happen. It is really hard to stay motivated to lose weight and eat better when if feels like you have no support system or peanut gallery cheering you on. Just remember what your goals are and try not to let life sabotage your progress.

Getting started alone

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