Family support? do you have any?

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tracefan
tracefan Posts: 382 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I do not. My husband has no intentions of trying to eat healthy. He will eat chips, cookies, cake etc all the time. It's much more of a difficult chore to have willpower when the pantry is filled with junk. I try all the time to beg him to either hide the stuff or not buy it.. but NO he still does.

I haven't touched anything and I make my own healthy choices. it's just frustrating.
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Replies

  • archer70
    archer70 Posts: 5 Member
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    Same here my wifes the same way. Says she is happy with her self. I do not think she understands why I am not happy and just live life.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Your weight problem is not your husband's responsibility to fix. He doesn't have to stop eating anything or hide his food or any of that. Short of him jamming potato chips and cookies down your throat, I don't see the problem. I lost over 50 pounds while my husband made no changes to his eating or exercise habits and yet I still consider him to be my biggest supporter. Focus on yourself, not on what he is or isn't doing.
  • simplycidalia
    simplycidalia Posts: 46 Member
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    My husband is the same but, honestly, it doesn't affect my resolve to eat healthier. Once in a blue moon, I'll have some chips or cookies (I don't believe in the word "never"), but I don't feel the need to eat something just because it's there. I remind myself that I'm trying to take care of my body even if other people aren't.

    We're not responsible for other people. Only ourselves. :)
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Yes and no. My boyfriend has no intentions to eat healthy, but he is supportive of me if I want to. Personally, I try my hardest to ignore the junk around. I'm also allergic to a lot of baked goods [eggs], so that works in my favor.

    I have to make decisions for myself. Not my boyfriend or other family members

    If I go to the kitchen and see junk out, I simply ignore it. Seems to work for me.
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,019 Member
    edited January 2016
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    I am lucky, my family fully supports my WOE; probably partially because they see it is making improvements in my health, energy levels and mood.

    Now that is just support... None of them eat the same as I do nor would I expect them to do so. My boys still eat a LOT of crackers, fruits, potatoes and rice, all of which do not fit well in my WOE. They also eat homemade cookies, waffles and muffins which I won't touch.

    I can't, won't and shouldn't make my family eat my way if they don't need to. Even my hubby, who is starting to notice issue with controlling his sugars and the subsequent weight gain, can not be made to eat my way, just like I won't eat his way.

    Hang in there. You'll soon get used to it and it probably won't bother you as much.
  • tracefan
    tracefan Posts: 382 Member
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    I totally agree and that is not what I meant at all. I hold myself responsible.. However.. it would be much easier if I didn't have the junk in the house. It takes much more effort. Can I do it.. of course. and when I do... he can look at me like a goal setter. He complains about his weight but does nothing.. However when I do lose and I will I can be the one happy with my weight. He can keep eating cake.
    jemhh wrote: »
    Your weight problem is not your husband's responsibility to fix. He doesn't have to stop eating anything or hide his food or any of that. Short of him jamming potato chips and cookies down your throat, I don't see the problem. I lost over 50 pounds while my husband made no changes to his eating or exercise habits and yet I still consider him to be my biggest supporter. Focus on yourself, not on what he is or isn't doing.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    I have none. My husband is not at all interested in my lifestyle. He was at one point many years ago but is now dealing with illness and his own issues so is not supportive.
    What I realized is that I have to do this for myself and by myself. It makes no difference if I have a team of cheerleaders routing for me or if I'm all alone . if I want something I will have to work for it. No amount of support would matter unless I truly wanted this anyway. It comes down to me.
    Right now in my kitchen I have cookies, devil food cake , twizzlers candy, Hershey bars and cinnamon rolls. I could go eat all of them but that would not help me achieve my goals. Or I can eat one portion that fits within calories and move forward in achieving my goals. Its all up to me.
    In fact, I think it teaches a good lesson in portion control and self control when there is plenty of treats around. It taught me that I can have treats, I don't have to deprive myself. But It also taught me how to manage my diet . in the real world there will be temptation everywhere ,I know I can now control myself in all those situations. I don't have to just keep celery in the house to stick to my diet , I can use self control now.
    So you won't always get the support you want but you won't always need all the support anyway. It comes down to you.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
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    Have you politely asked him to move his food to a designated area where you're less tempted to get it?
  • tracefan
    tracefan Posts: 382 Member
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    realityfades wrote: »
    Have you politely asked him to move his food to a designated area where you're less tempted to get it?

    Of course.. but not happening. lol It's ok.. I just make my own healthy food and snacks for me and my kids. He is a grown man.. he can make his bad choices on his own.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Nope. My husband is still obese. I still lost 80 pounds... You don't have to eat what everyone else eats. Sure, sometimes it's frustrating, but I know I can have that stuff when I want it (just in moderation), so *shrug*.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    You have to get over this. There's no need for him to change so that you can lose weight, if he doesn't want to support you he doesn't have to.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I do now, but it wasn't always this way. In his defense, I was always trying the latest fads and never stuck with anything so looking back, I can't say I blame him.

    We work out together and I do the cooking. We eat normal, non diet food; he's just able to have more than I can. Yes it sucks, but it is what it is and life goes on. If your husband isn't ready to give up his chips, cookies, cake, etc., there's nothing you can do really. I have a treat here and there, I just make it work within my calorie goal.
  • simplycidalia
    simplycidalia Posts: 46 Member
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    tracefan wrote: »
    realityfades wrote: »
    Have you politely asked him to move his food to a designated area where you're less tempted to get it?

    Of course.. but not happening. lol It's ok.. I just make my own healthy food and snacks for me and my kids. He is a grown man.. he can make his bad choices on his own.

    You could try throwing it out the window next time. He might get the picture then. ;)
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    my family eats totally different than i do. well, portion size, anyways. we all eat the same food, but I measure mine out. there is NO reason for your husband to change and nothing you can do will make him. if and when he is ready to make a change, he will.

    im not cooking different meals. lol
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
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    It's not that my boyfriend isn't supportive - he is. He just doesn't have to not bring home the things that he wants because I'm trying to lose 20 pounds. He's 150 on a bad day and has been known to lose 10 pounds without thinking about it. Just because it's in the house doesn't mean I have to eat it. We eat the same meals - I just eat less.

    I lived with a roomate who was an avid baker for 5 years so there was always cookies, cakes, cupcakes, homemade bread, etc around. Once I was able to learn to control what I was eating I managed to lose 95 pounds.

    Now the thing is my boyfriend is super sweet so if I say I'm craving something sweet or salty and we don't have anything in the house he'll go and get it for me! Even if it's late at night. The last couple of months I've learned to either not say anything or say I want this specific thing (that fits into my calories ) and he'll get that.
  • shabaity
    shabaity Posts: 792 Member
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    It's not that my family isn't supportive they are all for it. They just aren't going to go out of the way to make it easier if it inconveniences them.
  • ecdce
    ecdce Posts: 129 Member
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    realityfades wrote: »
    Have you politely asked him to move his food to a designated area where you're less tempted to get it?

    Why bother asking him to hide food? Just as easy for OP to move her snacks and food to another cupboard or area. If the cookies in the pantry are a temptation you're struggling with, stop going in the pantry.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    tracefan wrote: »
    I do not. My husband has no intentions of trying to eat healthy. He will eat chips, cookies, cake etc all the time. It's much more of a difficult chore to have willpower when the pantry is filled with junk. I try all the time to beg him to either hide the stuff or not buy it.. but NO he still does.

    I haven't touched anything and I make my own healthy choices. it's just frustrating.

    Support from my dh looks and sounds like this:
    "I want you to be happy and feel good. I love you no matter what size you are."
    Lets me do my own thing without advice, nagging or interference as long as it is a healthy weight loss plan.
    If I say no thanks to something he doesn't make a big deal.

    I don't expect a constant cheerleader or my family to totally change their eating habits.
    I pretty much eat the same foods as I always have except portion size. I put more vegetables on my plate.
    Dh and dd have different calorie needs and do not need to lose weight at all. Our house has foods you have labeled as junk all the time. It is my responsibility to eat foods that fit my calorie goal and meet my nutritional needs. IfI want a cookie I log it and eat it.

  • Moriarek
    Moriarek Posts: 14 Member
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    Family support IMO is so overrated - when I'm trying to lose weight my wife sees my results in time and says: "Let's do it together, please cook me some healthy lunch for work etc.", but after few days she is so tired of this "stuff", won't log meals (even it's just copying my journal). It's so frustrating for me, because her not achieving her goals is now my fault (not enough motivation, bad cooking and so on). This year, when I heard the same story I said: "do as you please but don't involve me please". Will see if it will work this time ;)
  • tiffanysotoxo
    tiffanysotoxo Posts: 36 Member
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    I can totally relate. My husband wouldn't survive on my strict healthy eating lol. He's also a chef so he's always eating food at work then comes home and eats more junk. Most days it doesn't bother me, but sometimes it does. I get frustrated too but luckily for me I've cleared out a cabinet just for him to put all his junk in so I don't see it very often.

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