Family support? do you have any?

I had the same problem but the I decided enough was enough. I'm not cooking two meals or doing two different grocery halls. I took the grocery budget and bought what I needed. When he came home from work he noticed there wasn't any junk food to snack on in the cupboard. So I opened the fridge and made him some frozen yogurt as a snack. The next day he complained again so I made him Ham pinwheels. Gradually he kept eating the snacks I would prepare for him and ate dinner feeling extremely full. He stepped on the scale a Month later and had lost weight. Now he doesn't even complain a little. He loves that there are dinners premade in the fridge for him to take out and the snacks are easy for him to put together.

When he wants pop he buys it at work. If he wants fries he eats them on his lunch break. If he wants chips he drives to the corner store and comes home with a small little bag. That way it's not normally in the house.

Every time he did something small that made a big difference for me I would make a big deal of it so that he understood how important it is to me that he was trying.

I don't have family support, but I don't have non-support either. I'm basically doing my thing and they are doing theirs. I don't make it a big deal and they don't either. I either eat what they eat if it fits, or make my own food if it doesn't. No one complains. I like it that way. I like that no one is babying me or walking on eggshells around me with their food choices.

The world is not going to change just because I decided to change. Getting used to this fact now is better than getting hit with it in the face when I decide to stop dieting and start maintaining. Even the most supportive people can only be supportive to a point. Asking others to overhaul their lives forever for my sake is unrealistic. There will always be high calorie foods wherever I go. There will always be family gatherings, parties, the amazing smell of bakeries when I pass by, all kinds of cleverly photographed food ads, chocolate bars near the checkout counter, friends and food rituals, intricate restaurant menus, and so on and so forth. The sooner I learn to deal with that like normal people do the easier maintenance will be. Living in a bubble for the duration of my diet would be counter productive.

Usually tasks are split, and one person does the food shopping. Many times the shopping gets habitual and routine. The storage in the house does increase temptation and bad habits. I'm just getting started and these things do play a role in this topic... I'm lucky because my wife is doing this with me, gym and all. I hope we stick with it because I know we will benefit and feel much better!!

joinn68 wrote: »

jemhh wrote: »

Your weight problem is not your husband's responsibility to fix. He doesn't have to stop eating anything or hide his food or any of that. Short of him jamming potato chips and cookies down your throat, I don't see the problem. I lost over 50 pounds while my husband made no changes to his eating or exercise habits and yet I still consider him to be my biggest supporter. Focus on yourself, not on what he is or isn't doing.

That's cold. Shouldn't spouses SUPPORT each other? Not being RESPONSIBLE but support isn't that much to ask is it? As @yougotredonyou said, some compromises about where things are stored. Some compromises about what to buy (for example I could care less about potato chips and chocolate ice cream but could you please avoid bringing chocolate in). Some compromises about meals that can be shared. Why is that too much to ask?

You and I define "support" differently. I don't consider not bringing a food into the house to be support. I don't consider my husband eating exactly what I eat to be support. If thso are support, I'd be unsupportive asking him to do them since I'd be asking him to not eat foods he wants and eat foods he doesn't want.

My husband supports me in small ways that add up to a bigger difference than would him eating a salad or refraining from eating M&Ms in front of me--he'll weigh hamburgers before grilling them, leave a food label I might need on the counter, tell our daughter not to bug me while I'm exercising, compliment me on an achievement, etc. It's the same kind of little stuff that we've done for each other for over 20 years. Basic kindnesses that make relationships enjoyable.

My husband doesn't always share my weight control or healthy eating habits, but he is supportive of me. Unless I start getting too obsessive about it, then I can count on him for a dose of reality. He is pretty awesome. My whole family is very supportive.

tracefan wrote: »

I totally agree and that is not what I meant at all. I hold myself responsible.. However.. it would be much easier if I didn't have the junk in the house. It takes much more effort. Can I do it.. of course. and when I do... he can look at me like a goal setter. He complains about his weight but does nothing.. However when I do lose and I will I can be the one happy with my weight. He can keep eating cake.

jemhh wrote: »

Your weight problem is not your husband's responsibility to fix. He doesn't have to stop eating anything or hide his food or any of that. Short of him jamming potato chips and cookies down your throat, I don't see the problem. I lost over 50 pounds while my husband made no changes to his eating or exercise habits and yet I still consider him to be my biggest supporter. Focus on yourself, not on what he is or isn't doing.

Same here. My SO constantly complains about his weight yet won't change his eating habits. Sometimes I think he is trying to sabotage my efforts, I have done well though at ignoring him. Now he tries to tell me not to lose anymore and I haven't even made goal yet. I'm 5'2.5 so I defiantly could stand to lose more especially in the lower region.