Family support? do you have any?

My husband is totally supportive but I would never ask him to change his eating habits just to accommodate me. We tend to eat fairly healthy anyway. There are days when I ask what he wants for supper and he responds with something that just doesn't fit my calories, like chicken wings or hamburgers and fries. On days like that my son and husband have that and I make myself something else or I fit it into my calories by exercising more. Temptation will always be there it's up to you to overcome it.

I live alone, so I suppose I'm fortunate, but every Saturday I have dinner with my parents. Sometimes at my house, sometimes at theirs (we alternate weeks). They're very supportive of my weight loss - in a quiet, hardly-ever-verbal way - but I still cook for them the things they like to eat in the portions they enjoy. It wasn't their fault I got overweight, and I know better now how to portion myself. They don't even say anything anymore when my plate is significantly smaller than theirs. And I eat what they eat on those days. Just a bit less of it.

I know it's all about the personal responsibility, but I do think it's tougher when there are foods around that you really want to eat. I don't think you should expect him not to buy it, but maybe you could come to a compromise about where it's stored?

I don't, and my husband buys most of the groceries and brings home stuff like pizza, or asks for fattening things for dinner, which makes it doubly hard to plan.

The most effective thing I've found to do to meet my goals without him getting offended or calling me high maintenance is to plan out my dinner ahead of time and fit my calories in from there, and to make healthy sides to round out the meal.

For instance, he may want hot wings with macaroni & cheese (2 of his favorite things). So I bake the wings and make some steamed veggies and another low-fat side like brown rice or quinoa to eat instead of the mac & cheese for myself.

I agree with u i lost 70+eating healthy with my house full of junk because my man wasnt on a diet u gotta want it bad enough.

jemhh wrote: »

Your weight problem is not your husband's responsibility to fix. He doesn't have to stop eating anything or hide his food or any of that. Short of him jamming potato chips and cookies down your throat, I don't see the problem. I lost over 50 pounds while my husband made no changes to his eating or exercise habits and yet I still consider him to be my biggest supporter. Focus on yourself, not on what he is or isn't doing.

I had the same problem but the I decided enough was enough. I'm not cooking two meals or doing two different grocery halls. I took the grocery budget and bought what I needed. When he came home from work he noticed there wasn't any junk food to snack on in the cupboard. So I opened the fridge and made him some frozen yogurt as a snack. The next day he complained again so I made him Ham pinwheels. Gradually he kept eating the snacks I would prepare for him and ate dinner feeling extremely full. He stepped on the scale a Month later and had lost weight. Now he doesn't even complain a little. He loves that there are dinners premade in the fridge for him to take out and the snacks are easy for him to put together.

When he wants pop he buys it at work. If he wants fries he eats them on his lunch break. If he wants chips he drives to the corner store and comes home with a small little bag. That way it's not normally in the house.

Every time he did something small that made a big difference for me I would make a big deal of it so that he understood how important it is to me that he was trying.

I don't have family support, but I don't have non-support either. I'm basically doing my thing and they are doing theirs. I don't make it a big deal and they don't either. I either eat what they eat if it fits, or make my own food if it doesn't. No one complains. I like it that way. I like that no one is babying me or walking on eggshells around me with their food choices.

The world is not going to change just because I decided to change. Getting used to this fact now is better than getting hit with it in the face when I decide to stop dieting and start maintaining. Even the most supportive people can only be supportive to a point. Asking others to overhaul their lives forever for my sake is unrealistic. There will always be high calorie foods wherever I go. There will always be family gatherings, parties, the amazing smell of bakeries when I pass by, all kinds of cleverly photographed food ads, chocolate bars near the checkout counter, friends and food rituals, intricate restaurant menus, and so on and so forth. The sooner I learn to deal with that like normal people do the easier maintenance will be. Living in a bubble for the duration of my diet would be counter productive.

Usually tasks are split, and one person does the food shopping. Many times the shopping gets habitual and routine. The storage in the house does increase temptation and bad habits. I'm just getting started and these things do play a role in this topic... I'm lucky because my wife is doing this with me, gym and all. I hope we stick with it because I know we will benefit and feel much better!!

joinn68 wrote: »

jemhh wrote: »

Your weight problem is not your husband's responsibility to fix. He doesn't have to stop eating anything or hide his food or any of that. Short of him jamming potato chips and cookies down your throat, I don't see the problem. I lost over 50 pounds while my husband made no changes to his eating or exercise habits and yet I still consider him to be my biggest supporter. Focus on yourself, not on what he is or isn't doing.

That's cold. Shouldn't spouses SUPPORT each other? Not being RESPONSIBLE but support isn't that much to ask is it? As @yougotredonyou said, some compromises about where things are stored. Some compromises about what to buy (for example I could care less about potato chips and chocolate ice cream but could you please avoid bringing chocolate in). Some compromises about meals that can be shared. Why is that too much to ask?

You and I define "support" differently. I don't consider not bringing a food into the house to be support. I don't consider my husband eating exactly what I eat to be support. If thso are support, I'd be unsupportive asking him to do them since I'd be asking him to not eat foods he wants and eat foods he doesn't want.

My husband supports me in small ways that add up to a bigger difference than would him eating a salad or refraining from eating M&Ms in front of me--he'll weigh hamburgers before grilling them, leave a food label I might need on the counter, tell our daughter not to bug me while I'm exercising, compliment me on an achievement, etc. It's the same kind of little stuff that we've done for each other for over 20 years. Basic kindnesses that make relationships enjoyable.

My husband doesn't always share my weight control or healthy eating habits, but he is supportive of me. Unless I start getting too obsessive about it, then I can count on him for a dose of reality. He is pretty awesome. My whole family is very supportive.