Starting Over... AGAIN...

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DoOver90
DoOver90 Posts: 1 Member
edited January 2016 in Getting Started
Not really "getting started" as I have been obese my entire life, even when I was a kid. So, dieting and falling off the wagon and gaining even more weight than when I first started is by no means new to me. Hit my highest when I was 17 and maintained it until two years ago ( I was 116 Kg or 256 lbs), at 164 cm or 5'4, I felt like.. there is really no way to describe it. But suffice to say that I couldn't walk 2-3 minutes without feeling like I am going to die. At 19 I got gallstones and at 22 I was hiding at home ( by that time, I graduated and before that I practically studied at home and only left the house to attend exams; no exaggeration) by then, I was completely okay with my situation, I didn't even think there was something wrong with me, I was comfortable except when I had to go somewhere, which I rarely did anyway. I was literally living to eat, I was eating everything in sight, because why not? I am 22 and I have no life and it's not like it can get any worse. Then, I went to see a dietritian -because of my mom- and I went down to 104 Kg or so (230 lbs) and something felt different. I can actually find clothes that fit again, I can go out and see people and most importantly, I can move without feeling like I am going to die. As expected, that change/feeling/motivation ran its course and I went back to my old life style in no time and in no time I went back to my old weight ( and all was right in the world again : D )
Two years ago, out of no where, I lost a couple of kilograms and I remembered how I felt like when I was -healthier, lighter, more normal ... whatever you want to call it- and it was the first I came here; I wasn't 100% dedicated and I had bad days more than I had good days but over the year I lost about 5 kgs. Then my dad got sick -he was super obese- and he suffered a great deal because of his weight before he passed away 11 months ago. That was my wake up call. That is what I am looking forward to if I continued living the way I am. -by that time, I was mentally devastated; I hit bottom months ago after a year and a half of graduation and staying at home- and I finally decided I don't want that. I was 23 and have no job, no life, I had/have friends but I pushed them away because I didn't want to leave the house. in short, it wasn't a life I wanted or cared about anymore, but I also wasn't just gonna sit there and cry, something had to change. That's when I started using MFP again, I was serious this time and I did my research before I started, I got down to 100 Kg (220 lbs) in -what seemed like- no time, after that I started hitting the gym. I was really motivated and I started doing things that I could never do before, I started getting out, I loved buying new clothes and I loved people telling me I look like a new person and asking me about healthy/nutritious eating and how to lose weight... etc
Three months ago, I don't know what happened but I stopped going to the gym, I deleted my old MFP account and I decided to just live a normal life. I don't think I have put on much weight since then -if any- but I don't feel like that person I used to feel like that last year. I stopped losing! Isn't that bad enough?
So today, I woke up and I decided I am going to start again, only this time I will be better.
I will reach my goal weight and by the end of this year I am going to look like I would never have dared dream in my wildest dream to ever look like.

I would never have thought I would write all that on an internet forum, but I guess I wanted to hold myself accountable and I wanted to have some friends who are on the same boat as I am to start that journey together. So, sorry for the rant and feel free to add me if .

Current status, 12 Jan. 2016:

Weight: 88 Kg ( 194 lbs)
Height: 164 (5'4)
Body fat: 42% (I know, I know)

My 1st goal is to lose 20 Kg and 17% body fat and then I will see from there.

Me at 116 Kg ( that pic is 7-8 years ago! )

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Me at 88 Kg ( that pics was 10-15 minutes ago : P )

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Replies

  • x_ashuhhlee
    x_ashuhhlee Posts: 2 Member
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    good luck on your journey!
  • hollen_carol
    hollen_carol Posts: 121 Member
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    Just wanted to say, you look amazing!!!! You got this. I will be super excited to see you get to your final goal. I really know you can do it. Every day is a brand new day. Just make the best choices you can each day and if you have a bad day, no worries cause the next day will be better with more focus! Good luck to you :)
  • Passionately_Positive
    Passionately_Positive Posts: 38 Member
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    Friend request sent!! Congrats on your journey so far and good luck for the rest of it =)
  • hanniejong
    hanniejong Posts: 556 Member
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    Congratulations on your journey so far, you can do this. I have been of here for 3 months and havew recently started logging again, I am at the moment 92.3kg am facing major surgery and need to get the weight down too. feel free to add me.
  • inmiami4u
    inmiami4u Posts: 15 Member
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    Hey, thats an amazing story and journey.....do you mind sharing some tips??? plus i want to join you in loosing what you have left.
  • briggsykim
    briggsykim Posts: 75 Member
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    Your story feels a lot like my own. Don't let excess weight drag you down and stop you from being great. I'm back here too for the same reason. I'm ready to lose weight!

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