Trying to get started

You need to actually want it. Just saying "I want to lose weight" isn't enough to do it. That is where the yo-yo comes in to yo-yo dieting. You have to find that reason that truly makes you want to change. Maybe it is your kids, your spouse, your family. Maybe it is the way you feel in the morning, how you lack energy, how you don't like how you look. Maybe it is a goal to do something in the future you can't do now. Whatever it is, YOU have to find it. Nobody here can tell you to make any change at all.

This time around something in me just snapped and I want the change bad enough I am doing all I can to change. And I don't expect to stop. I really feel it every morning when I wake up to exercise. There are times I feel like sleeping, but normally that lasts a minute or two and I am up working out. It is just something I truly want for myself. Nobody made me want this but me.

So find that thing you need, figure out if you really want it or if it's just lip service, then get at it. And don't give up if you stumble. Just get back up and push yourself more. Eventually changes will happen and you will love it and want more. But it isn't easy.

Good luck.

Kidney disease is awful, I understand what you mean about not having energy because I've seen the toll it takes on friends who have it.

The only diet you need is the one that works for you and your particular health requirements. You know what your body needs better than a stranger on the internet. A good place to start is logging everything you eat, including snacks and little bites of this or that here and there. This will give you a picture of just how many calories you're actually consuming and if you need to reduce (or increase) that number. You say you want to get on track with your eating habits which sounds like you know you're not eating as well as you should for your health requirements. A food diary will really help you there.

Set an exercise goal for yourself: for example, "By such and such o'clock today I will walk for twenty minutes." Then do it. That's it. JUST DO IT. Even if you're tired, meet your walk deadline. Treat it like brushing your teeth or taking a bath/shower--just something you have to do for proper self care. Then repeat that every day.

Keep notes for yourself about how you feel before and after you walk. Note if you feel more tired, if you feel less tired, if you feel hungry, if you hurt, etc. Do not be surprised if you start to notice a pattern of feeling a little better, physically, after a twenty-minute walk. Do not be surprised if you even start looking forward to it.

Add some strength training with hand weights, a resistance band, or even just using your own body weight. Squats are great and you don't need any special equipment.

Do not beat yourself down by saying "I am so lazy." If you never have energy, that's not laziness, there's an underlying reason for it. It could be the kidney disease. You could be overwhelmed with work/school/family/whatever obligations. Lack of energy and motivation are also associated with clinical depression. Being overweight or out of shape could also contribute to a lack of energy. It could be any combination of factors (and you don't need to tell us) but the last thing you need to do is beat yourself about it. Instead think about what those contributing factors are and what you can do to change them. Break it all down into manageable pieces, steps you can take to mitigate these factors.

Then DO them.

That's where you start. Good luck and keep us posted.

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” - Bruce Lee