A girls confession/needing support
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tonyamarie3511
Posts: 14 Member
Hello!
My name is Tonya Danner. I am wife and a mother to a beautiful baby girl.
My story starts before the pregnancy. Before my husband, i was in an abusive relationship not just physically but mentaly as well. He told me that if i weighed over 93 pounds, he would leave me. I wasnt allowed to go out in public in my pjs, nor was i allowed to leave with out make up. He monitored what i ate and made me feel ugly. I eventually left him after he almost broke my arm and when i did finally get out on my own, I ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I went up to 120 pounds. I looked normal! Then I met my husband. We married and soon after I became pregnant. I was so excited! I ate whatever she craved with in reason and I gained the normal amount of weight for pregnancy. When it came time to deliver, my daughters heart was unable to take natural birth so we went in for a c section. I was in a large amount of pain, mind you all of my stomach muscles have been cut at this point, I passed out during the process and my blood pressure dropped. I woke up in recover confused and dazed not realizing that they continued to pump me full of fluids. O left larger then I came in and had more strech marks than I could even imagine. I had them in places I didn't even realize you could get them! I went from feeling ugly to beautiful and then back to ugly all over again. My daughter hit a year and I still hadn't lost any weight after the pregnancy. Due to my terrible birth, I was unable to do much for six months. The weight stayed and I continued to tell myself that it was fine. It'd go away on its on in time. A year later, I decided to go to a weight loss clinic to receive some guidance and it is the best decision I could of made for myself! I now weigh 160lbs and I need to get back to my 120. My husband thinks that I do not need to lose weight even tho I am considered obese. He says I can do it on my own and that I don't need the pills the clinic gives me and says whatever he can to get me to stop going. It isn't about me so much as it is the money but he doesn't realize how much pain I am truly in. The extra weight has injured my back and kicked my arthritis into over drive. I can barely walk without my knees and ankles poping. I can't get on my hands to do push ups because my wrists can't hold my weight anymore. My back has a herniated disc and arthritis like no 22 year old has ever felt. I have a fatty, enlarged, and low functioning liver due to the extra weight and I have IBS. I never had any problems before and now I can't seem to have enough! I explained to him I needed to lose the weight and that my feelings should be taken into consideration and told him I would come up with the money for the clinic on my own. (I did a few odd jobs, I am a stay at home mom due to the cost of sitters which I would be basically working for nothing since it would go to them). Now I am going to the clinic and logging my food just like I am supposed to. I just wish I could of done this sooner! I would love to hear everyone's stories and how you are doing it. I would love advice!
I just gave away all the clothes that no longer fit, the clothes I think will but do not. The ones that I tried on every single day hoping something changed and when it didn't, I gave myself an anxiety attack full of tears. I have started a diet plan that was suggested for me. I am still unable to do hard workouts because of my medical issues because of this weight. I have lost mobility in certain areas of my body and I have tried physical therapy. I just took myself off of my hydrocodone for pain but I am still taking my muscle relaxers as needed. I would like to maybe do a detox and I would love some information on it or some personal experiences? Thank you for taking the time to read this!
My name is Tonya Danner. I am wife and a mother to a beautiful baby girl.
My story starts before the pregnancy. Before my husband, i was in an abusive relationship not just physically but mentaly as well. He told me that if i weighed over 93 pounds, he would leave me. I wasnt allowed to go out in public in my pjs, nor was i allowed to leave with out make up. He monitored what i ate and made me feel ugly. I eventually left him after he almost broke my arm and when i did finally get out on my own, I ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I went up to 120 pounds. I looked normal! Then I met my husband. We married and soon after I became pregnant. I was so excited! I ate whatever she craved with in reason and I gained the normal amount of weight for pregnancy. When it came time to deliver, my daughters heart was unable to take natural birth so we went in for a c section. I was in a large amount of pain, mind you all of my stomach muscles have been cut at this point, I passed out during the process and my blood pressure dropped. I woke up in recover confused and dazed not realizing that they continued to pump me full of fluids. O left larger then I came in and had more strech marks than I could even imagine. I had them in places I didn't even realize you could get them! I went from feeling ugly to beautiful and then back to ugly all over again. My daughter hit a year and I still hadn't lost any weight after the pregnancy. Due to my terrible birth, I was unable to do much for six months. The weight stayed and I continued to tell myself that it was fine. It'd go away on its on in time. A year later, I decided to go to a weight loss clinic to receive some guidance and it is the best decision I could of made for myself! I now weigh 160lbs and I need to get back to my 120. My husband thinks that I do not need to lose weight even tho I am considered obese. He says I can do it on my own and that I don't need the pills the clinic gives me and says whatever he can to get me to stop going. It isn't about me so much as it is the money but he doesn't realize how much pain I am truly in. The extra weight has injured my back and kicked my arthritis into over drive. I can barely walk without my knees and ankles poping. I can't get on my hands to do push ups because my wrists can't hold my weight anymore. My back has a herniated disc and arthritis like no 22 year old has ever felt. I have a fatty, enlarged, and low functioning liver due to the extra weight and I have IBS. I never had any problems before and now I can't seem to have enough! I explained to him I needed to lose the weight and that my feelings should be taken into consideration and told him I would come up with the money for the clinic on my own. (I did a few odd jobs, I am a stay at home mom due to the cost of sitters which I would be basically working for nothing since it would go to them). Now I am going to the clinic and logging my food just like I am supposed to. I just wish I could of done this sooner! I would love to hear everyone's stories and how you are doing it. I would love advice!
I just gave away all the clothes that no longer fit, the clothes I think will but do not. The ones that I tried on every single day hoping something changed and when it didn't, I gave myself an anxiety attack full of tears. I have started a diet plan that was suggested for me. I am still unable to do hard workouts because of my medical issues because of this weight. I have lost mobility in certain areas of my body and I have tried physical therapy. I just took myself off of my hydrocodone for pain but I am still taking my muscle relaxers as needed. I would like to maybe do a detox and I would love some information on it or some personal experiences? Thank you for taking the time to read this!
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Replies
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I lost 60 plus lbs in 2010-2011 by following low carb, high protein diet and using MyFitness Pal to monitor all cals/carbs. I've kept it off for these past 5 years and still monitor every thing I eat on MyFitness Pal because if I didn't the weight would start creeping right back on. Other than staying busy with my job and housework I did no formal exercise.
Don't look for a crutch or magic pill to get you through this because nothing like that exists. I used to think I was fat because of bad luck. Then I started monitoring what I actually ate and saw it was my eating habits that made me fat! Just look to yourself and rely on yourself. Set your cals for maybe 1,200 per day and carbs for under 100g. I swear if you do this you will feel so much better and the weight will come off. Drink all the water you can--preferably a gallon a day--and remember that being a little hungry is normal and good for you.
Also, I had 2 C-section births. I also broke my leg once in 4 places. I never used pain meds and I'm a pretty big baby about pain. I just didn't want to become one of those drugged-out people with an addiction. I know it's painful but you can get by without pain meds. Don't give in to them.0 -
I lost 60 plus lbs in 2010-2011 by following low carb, high protein diet and using MyFitness Pal to monitor all cals/carbs. I've kept it off for these past 5 years and still monitor every thing I eat on MyFitness Pal because if I didn't the weight would start creeping right back on.
Don't look for a crutch or magic pill to get you through this because nothing like that exists. I used to think I was fat because of bad luck. Then I started monitoring what I actually ate and saw it was my eating habits that made me fat! Just look to yourself and rely on yourself. Set your cals for maybe 1,200 per day and carbs for under 100g. I swear if you do this you will feel so much better and the weight will come off. Drink all the water you can--preferably a gallon a day--and remember that being a little hungry is normal and good for you.
Thank you! That is definitely something to look forward to for myself! My goal is 1,200 calories a day and so far I have been doing wonderful! I am also using a high protein low carb diet that the weight loss clinic has provided me information with and I am on day three. She also introduced me to this app as well!
I know there isn't a magic pill that will make me lose weight or anything. What they are giving me is an appetite suppressant and possibly metformin. They did some blood work for me to see if its the right fit for me and we are hoping that I will be to my goal weight in no time! We are looking to lose 10 pounds this month. It also may help with my liver as well and my high blood pressure (caused by my weight). I am also receiving a b-12 shot weekly for some energy. I seem to be tired all of the time! (Mom life). I know this is going to take dedication and hard work and I am looking forward to seeing results. The first step was the hardest and that was making the appt to see the weight loss clinic. I called 4 times before actually making the appt.0 -
We all wish there was some kind of magic pill. Unfortunately there is no such thing (yet). We all have our experiences. No matter how you do it, or by what diet, it is and will be a struggle. But just know that there are many of us in the same type of situation, and we are all encouraging and supporting each other. I have gone thru all sorts of diets. I'm an old soldier with a few injuries that keep me from good exercise, so I have to rely on watching what I eat mainly. So we all have our stories and struggles. Just know that 1) you can reach your goals, and 2) there are a lot of us here to give you at least moral support and advice. Keep up the good work!0
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We all wish there was some kind of magic pill. Unfortunately there is no such thing (yet). We all have our experiences. No matter how you do it, or by what diet, it is and will be a struggle. But just know that there are many of us in the same type of situation, and we are all encouraging and supporting each other. I have gone thru all sorts of diets. I'm an old soldier with a few injuries that keep me from good exercise, so I have to rely on watching what I eat mainly. So we all have our stories and struggles. Just know that 1) you can reach your goals, and 2) there are a lot of us here to give you at least moral support and advice. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much! I need all the support I can get. I come from a family of goofballs who's encouragement is calling me fat like the "how can you miss her!" Jokes. Of course I take them with a grain of salt but sometimes it gets to me! My husband is not quite so supportive right now but I am hoping he will be in the future! I know everyone has struggles and things we all wish we can change about ourselves or life! I have no regrets other than waiting so long to reach out. I am already struggling because I want ice cream!0 -
We all wish there was some kind of magic pill. Unfortunately there is no such thing (yet). We all have our experiences. No matter how you do it, or by what diet, it is and will be a struggle. But just know that there are many of us in the same type of situation, and we are all encouraging and supporting each other. I have gone thru all sorts of diets. I'm an old soldier with a few injuries that keep me from good exercise, so I have to rely on watching what I eat mainly. So we all have our stories and struggles. Just know that 1) you can reach your goals, and 2) there are a lot of us here to give you at least moral support and advice. Keep up the good work!
I am sorry, my whole comment didn't post!
My husband took me to my favorite restaurant and I only ate one of my favorite rolls and a garden salad with no croutons and lite dressing! I am very proud of myself that is for sure! I know everyone has their daily struggles and something they wish they could change about themselves. Thank you so much for your service! You will always be a hero in my eyes and I am so thankful for your support, your fight, and your bravery! I will be praying for your injuries! One good day is worth 100 bad ones in my eyes! I am blessed that you took the time to read and comment! Again, thank you for everything!0 -
You are an awesome person and would love to be your friend and together we can keep each other motivated. good luck and friend request sent!0
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