Losing all hope!

Hello, I am a tall/broad girl and even when I was skinny I haven't like my broad frame but it does mean even when I'm carrying lots of weight it doesn't show much.
I feel like a whale but I have incredibly honest people around me who assure me this is not the case.
I am definitely overweight though.
I have been trying to lose weight for a few years but the scales have gone up not down!
I have tried every diet out there. I have counted and cut things and tried all the fads going. I even lost weight but then it never stuck and I gained again.
Two weeks ago I decided to cut out sugar and complex carbs because I realised these were my biggest vices. I'm doing well. Lost 3lbs the first week and then gained two back the second week.
I am feeling really lost because this is pretty limiting on what/where I can eat and even this isn't working.
I just don't know what to do! I don't want to be on a limiting, dull diet for the rest of my life where I can't eat anything I enjoy or go out with my partner!
So I thought I'd be really strict for a month and even that isn't working!
The only way I ever lost significant weight was emotional trauma where I just stopped eating anything but bananas. But I can't live like that!
I am in need of desperate help. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to change.
Please please help!


  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,218 Member
    Eat what you normally eat, just less of it.

    Track everything you consume that has calories. That will give you a better handle of where you can cut down on your portions but still be satisfied.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member

    What are your stats? Height, weight, age and goal?
  • ModernRock
    ModernRock Posts: 375 Member
    The whole concept behind MFP is that you can eat pretty much whatever you want.....as long as you stay under your calorie limit. Yes, there are other good reasons to eat nutrient dense foods, such as feeling satisfied and overall health outcomes, but cutting out sugar or having a "dull diet" is not necessary for weight loss. Do some reading on these forums for awhile and you'll see.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    You're making this more difficult than it actually is. Start by figuring out your stats and how many calories you should be consuming. I have been using this, it's free, and it works like a charm: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

    Then, get yourself a food scale and weigh and measure everything you eat. Do that every day.

    You don't have to cut anything out. You just have to eat less of it and fit them into your daily calorie goal.

  • janjunie
    janjunie Posts: 1,200 Member
    Well you already know fad diets don't work so why are you "trying to be really strict for a month"? What is your reason for Cutting out complex carbs? Those are the most nutrient dense type of carbs.

    You need to make this a lifestyle change if you want to succeed, and it will only happen with hard work when YOU are ready. I am not a fan of giving any type of food up, I eat in moderation and make it fit into my calorie goal
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,373 Member
    janjunie wrote: »
    Well you already know fad diets don't work so why are you "trying to be really strict for a month"? What is your reason for Cutting out complex carbs? Those are the most nutrient dense type of carbs.

    You need to make this a lifestyle change if you want to succeed, and it will only happen with hard work when YOU are ready. I am not a fan of giving any type of food up, I eat in moderation and make it fit into my calorie goal


    Log everything you eat, stay under your calories, don't ban any food (especially if you love it... can you imagine cutting it forever?) and don't freak out if the scale goes up occasionally... weight loss isn't linear. You just got to stick to it...
  • meredithgir199
    meredithgir199 Posts: 243 Member
    Are you honestly tracking/logging your food? You sound a lot like me! The only time I'm successful is when I record everything...even the days I go over my allotment. Instead of cutting a bunch of things out of your diet, try making healthier choices and stick within your calories. What also helps me is logging what I'm going to eat the next day, the night before. Also, I visualize my calorie allotment as dollars and it's an eye opener as to how you want to "spend" on food choices. Be patient and take one day at a time.
  • TenaciousTAZ
    TenaciousTAZ Posts: 135 Member
    There are alternatives with food that are healthier. I am a recovering "eat a large pizza a week" girl who now loves cauliflower "as bread" pizza, and used to drink 2 liters of coke a day, and now make my own homemade ginger root mineral water "soda". Food is a drug and it's the hardest one as we need food, but not all food. Try the scaffolding technique....take one thing away and/or limit the amount. Then slowly take away something else. It is shocking on how you can make good tasting healthy meals that you can actually crave! For me I had to take away certain things, and after awhile I don't miss them. Every once in a while I have a coke, but then I feel sick after and know it's not for me. It takes discipline, but once some junk food is out of your system, you will not crave it anymore. LOL I haven't had McD's, Taco Bell and most other chain fast food and to me, now it isn't even food in my eyes! I rather make my own burger or taco!
    It's an uphill battle!! Keep going!
  • louellacooper
    louellacooper Posts: 8 Member
    Some really interesting points there. I gave up bread pasta and rice because I'm a lazy cook and will eat pasta/pizza/toast and nothing nutritious. I'm also Italian so big meals and big carbs are a way of life!
    I wanted to improve my health as my partner and I want kids in the no too distant future. I'm a vegetarian too and so wanted to make sure I was eating all the good stuff I needed. I'm actually not missing the complex carbs too much but I don't want to feel I can never have it if I go out to dinner or a birthday party.
    I'm 5'11 and want to lose 3stone ish. I've just turned 30.
    I've made some impressive changes like I don't have sugar in any beverage any more and actually prefer it! I used to eat junk after dinner every night and that's stopped which is why I made these rules for myself. I wanted to take away the habits I was in of pasta and chocolate every night. I am eating far more vegetables and lentils and proteins now.
    But I feel like I have to stick to everything so religiously with counting calories and measuring etc and honestly it feels really depressing.
    I haven't been calorie counting until today. Last two weeks I was just cutting carbs and sugar.
    I just feel miserable and constrained and like no matter what I do I can't lose weight!
  • allenpriest
    allenpriest Posts: 1,102 Member
    Plan what you are going to eat. Pre log so you know the calories. Also don't set your deficit too high. You didn't gain the weight quickly and you won't lose it quickly either.
  • GsKiki
    GsKiki Posts: 392 Member
    Hello! The key to healthy weight loss is balanced meals and exercise. There is no need for you to restrict your self from anything (unless specific food is causing you medical issue) you just have to watch what and when you eat.
    Use MFP to help you get started with creating calorie deficit, follow the plan, exercise both cardio and weights and you should see results.
  • toe1226
    toe1226 Posts: 249 Member
    I'm 5 10 so I know how it feels to be tall and always feel bigger. I also know how easy it is to hang on to a higher weight because you can carry it well.

    Demonizing foods is the worst- it creates a cyclical web of self hatred and shame that is not productive for better health. There are NO BAD FOODS, only bad feelings. Set a calorie goal on MFP (A reasonable one, you're tall!)- STICK to it, weigh your food.

    I eat chocolate nearly every day, but outside of that mostly stick to a pretty high protein diet. That being said, I've tried it before while demonizing foods and it just never worked. Eat the foods you love, just eat less of them.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    I'll just echo what others have said. Eat what you like, just less of it. Weigh your food and log it faithfully.

    I do disagree with substituting pizza for cauliflower crust pizza. Anyone who thinks this is a legitimate substitute for a real slice of pizza has never had good pizza. You can have real pizza, just limit yourself to one slice (or maybe even two, depending on what your calorie goal is. My deficit is small, so I have to have just one.

    Good luck!
  • ThePhilCanavan
    ThePhilCanavan Posts: 12 Member
    For me it was cutting out all the coke (was having 6-8 cans per day) and the crisps and biscuits after lunch and dinner. I'd eat them even if not hungry. It is all about cutting down. Use the app or this website, log everything and it'll help stay below your goal.
  • HostageCat
    HostageCat Posts: 469 Member
  • ldowdesw
    ldowdesw Posts: 223 Member
    Another tall lass here. 5'11". At 280lbs my knees hurt and my heart was always racing. People definitely see you as not being 'fat' just big framed or the dreaded big boned when you are this tall. I've lost 10 - 12lb in 3 weeks, my scales vary from day to day. It's not rocket science and you don't need to feel deprived, just trust it, it will work for you. My attitude is that I'm no different from everyone else on this app so why wouldn't it. I would say though, at our height, you might not get complimented on your loss until you have lost 30lbs, but your doing this for YOU! The compliments will come, and don't give any negative people air space. We've got this! Xx
  • crb426
    crb426 Posts: 596 Member
    A few years ago I tried to "diet". For two weeks I ate salads and tuna and no dressing/junk food/high fat foods. After two weeks of "hardcore" dieting, I gained a pound. I said to myself, "screw it! I am older than 30 now so my body just won't lose, why try?"

    I realize now it was because I wasn't actually using the science of counting (and burning) calories. In June, when my pants weren't buttoning I found MFP to help get me started, for real this time. The database of food was amazing. I was able to eat whatever I wanted, which became a balance of low-cal healthy foods (lots of leafy greens and veggies) with foods I still wanted to eat. Taco dinner became one taco broken up over a big bowl of lettuce for a taco salad.

    I have not been deprived. If anything, it sets you up for being able to "eat like a thin person" for the rest of your life. You know what I mean? You see someone who is "naturally" thin and you notice they can eat whatever they want? It's because they do, but just not very much of it.

    So start with the database. Be honest with what you are eating, but don't limit yourself to the "dull" foods. Try to get a balance of lean proteins, lots of veggies, and even some sweets to keep you going. You will lose anf be healthy as long as you keep your head on straight and don't think you need to eat only bananas to make it work.
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
    I come from a big Italian family. Any family gathering revolves around food.


    I still eat the pasta and whatever I want. I just make sure I have adequate portions and maintain my calorie deficit. I don't feel deprived at all.

    You don't need to cut anything out. Just eat it in moderation and make sure you are eating at a calorie deficit.
  • juliet3455
    juliet3455 Posts: 3,000 Member
    edited January 2016
    @louellacooper With only 3 Posts that tells me you are new to MFP and the Forums.
    I recommend some good reads for you to start this journey as my "incredibly generic advice" when someone is new to MFP and struggling.



    At the Top of most Forums you will see a Discussion with the Words Announcement underneath them. As an example go into the General Diet and Weight Loss Forum.

    You will see 2 Announcement Posts ( Closed ) and a list of additional posts by members. If you open the Announcement Post you will see a list of Links to posts that are a great source of information.

    Of all the "Stickied" Posts these are some of the ones that I keep referring back to all the time.

    One I add is a 4 part Blog about the power of habits.

    These are just a few of the many great posts that have been so helpful.
  • runrascal
    runrascal Posts: 53 Member
    I have to use some thought tricks to help me along.

    Put on your plate your normal sized normal meal. Then put exactly half of everything onto a smaller plate, maybe a square plate or into a bowl, this cheats your eyes and helps to make the portions look unfamiliar and maybe less small. Before you chuck it, weigh the food you have not taken onto the small plate and check out its calorie values.

    It was a real eye opener for me. So now I use the small red square plate and also I changed to smaller cutlery - I use dessert sized knife and fork, if you're a piggy eater like me it helps to keep down the amount that goes in each time and you get the same, or nearly the same, number of mouthfuls. Eat really slowly - don't even load your fork until the stuff in your mouth is gone.

    Also I have had to learn that however much my mouth wants to be busy chewing on something if my stomach is full then it gets the last word. It's so hard when you want to eat something - anything - and you just aren't hungry. It feels really unfair, but it's a lesson I'm slowly slowly learning.