i need to be honest .....

Options
beccaboo315
beccaboo315 Posts: 6
in Introduce Yourself
So I have a bit of a confession, and I figured that non of you actually know who I am and its a site where I feel I can be open because its a "judgment free zone". Since I was probably 10-11 I developed an eating disorder. I am an emotional eater, over eater, whatever you want to name it. And I have been struggling since then. I am now 21. I joined MFP not really expecting to stick with it or be able to even come close to my calorie goal. But its been 11 days and I have had ZERO "binges" and I haven't really even wanted too. I started off weighing 204and I'm 5'7. 11 days later I'm 197.2 !! Seeing the results on the scale is such a boost of confidence and it makes me want to keep it up. The point of this posting was to ask if anyone else has been through this and if it has worked, I've had someone tell me that once I have an eating disorder ill always have it and diets won't work for me. I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong. Also, eating the way I did put a huge toll on my body, leaving me with uncountable stretch marks and cellulite. I feel like ill never be confident enough to wear shorts, bathing suits or even tank tops. Does anyone have any advise for me?

Thank you <3
«1

Replies

  • bleachcse
    bleachcse Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    I have the same thing. To be honest, after 10 years of trying to get this weight off I'm still struggling. But at least I'm still working at it. One of these days I'll beat it for good. I can't wait for that day to come! Just keep going. Don't let it beat you.
  • shesnotthere
    shesnotthere Posts: 117
    Options
    You're doing great! I have similar issues and I haven't "binge" eaten really once since starting MFP. I think it's because you stop and think about logging it and then you think about WHY you want to eat. I've made a bunch of other changes in my life since starting MFP. It's amazing what something so simple can change in your life.
  • oBirdieo
    oBirdieo Posts: 148
    Options
    We have a lot in common (look at my diary yesterday!!!). I binge eat and while I'm not 100% "cured", MFP has helped tremendously. I've lost 16 pounds in 7 weeks and I'm absolutely certain that MFP is the reason for this success. I still have a very long way to go, but I'm much more conscious of the decisions I'm making because I know people can see my diary. Yes, I've had a couple of bad days, but a couple of bad days out of 7 weeks is nothing compared to the way I WOULD have been eating had I not found MFP!
  • MrsRobertson1005
    MrsRobertson1005 Posts: 552 Member
    Options
    I can't offer any advice, I'm wondering how to get rid of my stretch marks and all that jazz too but I can offer encouragement. You are doing amazing! And hopefully as you become healthier your confidence will increase and you won't be worried about how you look in shorts or swim suits, you'll be happy with you :)
  • jpierce8806
    jpierce8806 Posts: 44
    Options
    An eating disorder is something that many struggle with for year....the point is...you're trying! And Succeeding!!
    My sister had anorexia for 3 years....she is now very healthy...she said to me that every once in a while she thinks about it...but tries to push it out of her mind...she's been healthy for almost 10 years now. You CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!
  • nosey_rosey
    nosey_rosey Posts: 380 Member
    Options
    I have been the girl that "eats my feelings" Thank you to all my MFP buddies I am down 22lbs(almost 23) and have been staying on track everyday!!! I also have strech marks and cellulite!! My strech marks are from HUGE babies but the cellulite is all on me! I have noticed a huge difference on the cellulite and strech marks. Keep doing what you are doing girl and it WILL get better!! Shorts and swimsuits are my worst fear... and tanktops well ummmm Im getting there. Just remember you are doing this for YOU and YOU alone! Your body will look so much better and your confidence will come in time! Feel free to add me!
  • bean177
    bean177 Posts: 75
    Options
    You're doing great! I have similar issues and I haven't "binge" eaten really once since starting MFP. I think it's because you stop and think about logging it and then you think about WHY you want to eat. I've made a bunch of other changes in my life since starting MFP. It's amazing what something so simple can change in your life.

    Absolutely - the thinking about it and being "accountable" on this site works amazingly well. I don't want to be embarrassed by having to post that I broke down and ate a candy bar (which I didn't), but it makes me THINK before I EAT. Emotional eater for life... you can do it!!!
  • smketchum
    smketchum Posts: 94 Member
    Options
    I think you are extremely brave for 1) tackling this issue and wanting to get your life back and 2) for admitting your struggle. We are ALL flawed and have battles. You just need to take one day at a time and never give up on yourself. You can do this and it may always be a struggle, but that doesn't mean you can't fight and win! Believe in yourself and stop the negative talk...I can't change....I can't stop......I will never be able to......none of that is allowed in your vocabulary. A bad day is a bad day, but it does not dictate your strenght or abilities. So when you fall (and you will, because you are human), you get back up and know that you can do what you set your mind to!!!! Congratulations on your new journey :)
  • debdptg
    debdptg Posts: 94 Member
    Options
    I have been thru this for 50 years, so I know what you are talking about. You will never be 'cured', but you can learn to have a good, happy life by being in control of your self. One of the best benefits of MFP is that it puts knowledge and contol in your hands. Many of us who are 'nervous eaters' do well when we can control things and only binge when we feel out of control.

    One word of caution. When you start out, it is always easy to loose the first few pounds. I don't know if they are water weight, or just a suprise to your body, but they fall off quick and give you a good boost. But, what often happens is that after a week or two, the quick losses stop and the slow, very slow, losses happen. Your body adjusts, adapts, and fights the weight loss.

    Just know that you have to stick with it thru those harder times - you will break thru if you stick to the plan and keep going. Don't try to starve yourself, or give up and binge. Stick to the plan, work through the plateaus, and the satisfaction will come.

    Friend me if you want some support - and have a little fun along the way.
  • hatton80
    hatton80 Posts: 3
    Options
    Your doing great, stick with it.
  • carp5832
    carp5832 Posts: 1
    Options
    I struggle with the emotional/stress eating as well. It's hard - but you really just have to take it one meal at a time and accept yourself and your faults. I haven't been doing the best job at logging in here - but I have been keeping food logs on and off for the past five years. I ALWAYS lose weight when I do log my food.

    Logging your food not only makes you accountable for what you've eaten - it shows you what you are actually putting into your body.

    Losing weight isn't about dieting - it truly is about life style. You have to try to be yourself, but be conscious of what you're putting in your body.

    Keep up the good work! But, remember, you are human. You may fall off the wagon, you may give into weakness for a day --- but that never means give up. It just means do better tomorrow.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Options
    Keep up the good work.
    I do not feel like I have any eating disorder. However, I have a long history of going to food when I feel down or rewarding myself with food when I am feeling good about something.
    I have found that this website is excellent for keeping me in line. As long as I add everything I eat. I am able to see the immediate consequence of my decision.
    Here is hoping that we both can keep on track with this site or with any tools that help.
  • tashamanning
    tashamanning Posts: 3
    Options
    I just try not to think of it as a diet, when doing a diet you have someone else telling you what you can and can't eat. But with this you choose which makes it alot less stressful and way easier to keep with it!
  • sshap21712
    sshap21712 Posts: 139
    Options
    Tasha is right. This is NOT a diet, since you are making all the rules yourself. It's a lifestyle change, and the reason it will work is because it comes from YOU. Nobody but you will judge your results (certainly not anyone on MFP). Whether you lose 5 or 500 pounds, you will get nothing but love and encouragement from this community. That's why it works!
  • brickok
    brickok Posts: 117 Member
    Options
    Great to hear you are losing weight!
    MFP is not a diet it is just a way of you being accountable for what you eat and drink and the exercising you do.
    You are making a healthy lifestyle change for the better.
    Don't let people bring you down, do this for yourself!
    You are doing great!!
    Keep up the good work.
    You can add me as a friend if you want.
    Kim :)
  • mrschappet
    mrschappet Posts: 488 Member
    Options
    I can't speak from experience or anything like that ... but I just want to say I am super proud of you for being open not only on here but to yourself. Recognizing an eating disorder and speaking outwardly about it must take a lot of guts.. I am sure there are many people out there having the same struggle, and your post may help them to speak about it and feel they can get encouragement to keep moving in the right direction.

    Like I said I can't speak from any experience (i have watched TLC programs and that about it lol) But I am just curious if you are getting counseling to help you reach your goal? I would think like with many other disorders, be it an eating addiction or a drug addition... many people will have times of lapse and could possibly fall back to the old unwanted habit. That would be my only consern. Otherwise, I think staying here on MFP and having encouragement of friends and others who are maybe going through the same thing you is a very positive thing for you! And if you are dedicated to sticking to a diet plan you can do it for sure!!!

    Point blank you are awesome for being so open... and keep up your great work!!! You are an encouragement for sure :-)
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Options
    All great advice so far. Just wanted to add two things..

    One, congrats for working on beating your bad habits! They can take a while to break but joining up here, tracking your food (helps with accountability, awareness and even decisions if you pre-track) and sharing your troubles are all steps in the right direction!!

    Two, I've had the same issues and not to discourage you, but after a year and a half of working on this, it's still something I have to fight with now and then. HOWEVER, now that I'm eating healthier most of the time, the binges make me feel completely sick afterwards and that has helped me learn to avoid those binges as much as possible. It's just that I forget now and then and when something really good is on the dinner plate, I can't help but over indulge. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm going to regret it later if I eat that one more slice of pizza or whatever. It's kind of like learning that drinking too much isn't worth it because you're just going to be a mess for the next couple days....

    The other HOWEVER is that I no longer binge on sweet stuff - I've found that I can control myself in that department much better now either by avoiding them altogether or finding a way to get a reasonable portion so I can't overindulge. For instance, if I want ice cream, I just go to the McD's drive thru and get myself a small cone. It's only 150 calories and totally fits the bill. Much better than the whole pint of Ben & Jerry's that I used to eat!!
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    Options
    I'm going to put this out there, because I want to be honest with you and myself as well as maybe give you a glimpse into the near future...forewarned is forearmed, IMO.

    I'm 42 and have struggled with binge eating, emotional eating, bulimia and various combinations of the 3 since I was 15. I have weighed anywhere from 122 (when 16) to 172 (age 39). When I first joined MFP, I had decided that I was going to conquer my demons once and for all and start taking care of myself. I went 5 weeks! w/o purging and was so damn proud of myself...then I "fell off the wagon"...for no particular reason and was so disappointed with myself.

    I'm not saying that you will do the same, but I am saying that I really feel that an eating disorder is something that has to be managed on a daily basis...much like any other addiction. I don't feel like I'll ever really be cured, but I do know that it's up to me to take care of myself and manage my emotional well being. The good news is that the longer you instill healthy habits in your lifestyle, the better you feel and the stronger your other coping mechanisms become, so you feel less likely to engage in the negative behaviors.

    MFP really makes me accountable for my actions and choices, so I feel that it has helped me manage my eating disorder in a healthy way. And the exercise definitely helps with my emotional well being.

    So, in short, yes it can be done; but I guess I don't view it as a diet...and I agree with the statement that a traditional diet will never work long term for someone with an eating disorder. This process is as much about getting your head in the right place as it is about getting your body in shape. The latter usually follows the former.

    Best of luck to you...you CAN do it!
  • cincro
    cincro Posts: 1
    Options
    Beccaboo,
    Bravo for you!! Good job. Don't listen to what everyone else tells you. You have great inner strengty and you are in charge of your body!!
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
    Options
    don't ahve advice about your situation. Thank God I never had to deal with this issue. My one suggestoin to beat any weight issue no matter how big or small is to view it as a life style change and NOT a diet. I personally hate the word diet as to me it means a quick way to lsoe some unwanted weight. If you change your life style for the better, odds are you will lose weight. Sounds like you ahve your mind set in the right direction. Don't get discouraged if the scale stops moving and you plateau. Track inches lost as well as weight. Remember it is a life long journey, not a short trip!!!!!!!! You can do it! Congrats on the loss so far and the decision to take control of your life!!

Categories