My MFP girlfriend just dumped me
Well I'm here just posting in behave of my (ahem) friend.
And his girlfriend just dumped him.
It was the typical scenario where the girl says "I'm having a hard day". The boyfriend (my friend) tried to help by being there for her. Faced with such attention the girlfriend says "please leave me alone", the boyfriend knew better than to leave her alone but I guess she meant it 'cause now she sent him to hell.
I know so much cause my friend is a very talkative and detailed guy
So here are my question for you the men: What do you do if she says 'fine!' when you know it's not fine or 'leave me alone'?
And for the ladies: why do you get all offended if the bf leaves you alone after you ask for it, it seams like a no win situation for the guys
And his girlfriend just dumped him.
It was the typical scenario where the girl says "I'm having a hard day". The boyfriend (my friend) tried to help by being there for her. Faced with such attention the girlfriend says "please leave me alone", the boyfriend knew better than to leave her alone but I guess she meant it 'cause now she sent him to hell.
I know so much cause my friend is a very talkative and detailed guy
So here are my question for you the men: What do you do if she says 'fine!' when you know it's not fine or 'leave me alone'?
And for the ladies: why do you get all offended if the bf leaves you alone after you ask for it, it seams like a no win situation for the guys
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Replies
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How old is your 'friend' and his girlfriend?0
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sorry I don't get offended if I have asked to be left alone or I say I am fine.. that means I am dealing and don't want you hovering..go away or changed the subject I don't wish to talk about it!!0
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Just break up.0
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TavistockToad wrote: »How old is your 'friend' and his girlfriend?
lets just say 25 - 95 yrs old0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »How old is your 'friend' and his girlfriend?
lets just say 25 - 95 yrs old
Really??0 -
If she says leave her alone then either show sympathy or empathy get her a nice snack or hot drink or give her the tv remote or a foot rub or whatever
Or just leave her alone seriously why do guys always think they need to fix things
Your friend probably talked her ear off giving her stupid helpful suggestions
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She didn't say "fine". She said "leave me alone". In that case, you leave her alone; you stand by until she cools off enough to discuss what is bothering her.
The same with "fine". It either means she is too upset to talk about it (which is good because she will calm down and you can talk later) OR she doesn't think you have grasped the full extent to which you f*cked up, and anything you say will not be taken as an apology or corrective action for what you did but rather a way to appease her to make her happy at that moment. And nothing is going to piss her off more than you trying to make her feel better at that moment without dealing with the issue that got her in that state to begin with. If you don't think you did anything wrong, or at least can't see how SHE thinks you did anything wrong, you are only going to dig your hole deeper and deeper with every action and every word. Her "FINE" is a warning to you to put down your shovel and think about it before you continue.0 -
MaxPower6868 wrote: »She didn't say "fine". She said "leave me alone". In that case, you leave her alone; you stand by until she cools off enough to discuss what is bothering her.
The same with "fine". It either means she is too upset to talk about it (which is good because she will calm down and you can talk later) OR she doesn't think you have grasped the full extent to which you f*cked up, and anything you say will not be taken as an apology or corrective action for what you did but rather a way to appease her to make her happy at that moment. And nothing is going to piss her off more than you trying to make her feel better at that moment without dealing with the issue that got her in that state to begin with. If you don't think you did anything wrong, or at least can't see how SHE thinks you did anything wrong, you are only going to dig your hole deeper and deeper with every action and every word. Her "FINE" is a warning to you to put down your shovel and think about it before you continue.
hahah smart man!!0 -
When i saw leave me alone it means get lost i cannot deal with you
Its an evolutionary survival mechanism to keep cavewomen from losing their ish
Doesn't mean i don't want tissues for my issues but i really cannot deal with you trying to fix my problems0 -
And next we can solve world piece!
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If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.0 -
If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
Yep same here
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If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
...girl logic?0 -
MaxPower6868 wrote: »She didn't say "fine". She said "leave me alone". In that case, you leave her alone; you stand by until she cools off enough to discuss what is bothering her.
The same with "fine". It either means she is too upset to talk about it (which is good because she will calm down and you can talk later) OR she doesn't think you have grasped the full extent to which you f*cked up, and anything you say will not be taken as an apology or corrective action for what you did but rather a way to appease her to make her happy at that moment. And nothing is going to piss her off more than you trying to make her feel better at that moment without dealing with the issue that got her in that state to begin with. If you don't think you did anything wrong, or at least can't see how SHE thinks you did anything wrong, you are only going to dig your hole deeper and deeper with every action and every word. Her "FINE" is a warning to you to put down your shovel and think about it before you continue.
THIS is the truth---and here I thought men didn't understand women.0 -
If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
Because asking for what you want/need would make things too difficult?0 -
If I say "leave me alone", I want bacon.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want bacon.
If I say, "I hate you", I want lotsa bacon.0 -
Well I'm here just posting in behave of my (ahem) friend.
And his girlfriend just dumped him.
It was the typical scenario where the girl says "I'm having a hard day". The boyfriend (my friend) tried to help by being there for her. Faced with such attention the girlfriend says "please leave me alone", the boyfriend knew better than to leave her alone but I guess she meant it 'cause now she sent him to hell.
I know so much cause my friend is a very talkative and detailed guy
So here are my question for you the men: What do you do if she says 'fine!' when you know it's not fine or 'leave me alone'?
And for the ladies: why do you get all offended if the bf leaves you alone after you ask for it, it seams like a no win situation for the guys
LOL!!! I am a big GoT fan and I cracked up laughing.
Yeah, I dont get it... its like we are damned if we do and damned if we dont. I at least make an attempt to be there / helpful, ect but if I am told 2x's that it is fine then Im walking away and if she wants she can talk to me if she chooses. At least I will not be thoguht of that I am a dont care kind of guy.0 -
no wonder men think women are crazy.
if i want to talk about my problem/day i will.
if i dont, im unlikely to bring it up or just skate over it if asked about my day.
im not going to say i dont want to talk about it and then get in a huff when i get the 'wrong' response.
im too old for those games.0 -
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
Because asking for what you want/need would make things too difficult?
I assume it's because the guy is supposed to just know what your true actual deep down desires are? I mean if he really loved you he would. Cause we can totes read minds.
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If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
And people wonder why they don't get what they want. SMDH.0 -
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
Because asking for what you want/need would make things too difficult?
Those are generally the scenarios where I'm ragingly angry that you don't already understand why I'm ragingly angry, so no, logically explaining it would be too difficult and rational.0 -
If they broke up over that then I think everyone's better off in the long run.0
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If I say "leave me alone", I want to be left alone.
If I say, "I'm fine", I might be a little peeved and don't want to talk about it
If I say, "I hate you", well...I don't. That's a strong statement and I don't truly hate anyone.
But that's just me.
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »no wonder men think women are crazy.
if i want to talk about my problem/day i will.
if i dont, im unlikely to bring it up or just skate over it if asked about my day.
im not going to say i dont want to talk about it and then get in a huff when i get the 'wrong' response.
im too old for those games.
This. Because I have the classic definition of logic, not "girl logic". If you don't say what you mean you're leaving the door open for misinterpretation. And rightly so because you are being an idiot.0 -
Hey OP... good luck with this one! lol0
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I'm hung up on the "MFP girlfriend" part of this. Is this not a real life scenario? An online "relationship"?? And that's not weird at all....0
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »If I say "leave me alone", I want attention.
If I say, "I'm fine", I want attention.
If I say, "I hate you", I want attention.
I always want attention. If I don't, I'll go somewhere where you can't find me. I'm not the cool off in silence type. Just give me attention.
Because asking for what you want/need would make things too difficult?
Those are generally the scenarios where I'm ragingly angry that you don't already understand why I'm ragingly angry, so no, logically explaining it would be too difficult and rational.
Good luck on your gurney, as they say a good mind reader is hard to find.0
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