22 on Saturday and 300lbs! - Need advice, support and friends. (UK)

Paiba
Paiba Posts: 9 Member
Hi,
Please bear with me. I'm terrible at spelling and this may be pretty long. I'm Samantha, 22 (on Saturday) and from the UK (London). I have many mental health issues from borderline personality disorder (BPD), severe anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. For the last few days the scales have said I'm 300lbs (21.4 stone or 136kg), I don't want to be big any-more and it's making me even more depressed. I go therapy twice a week for my BPD and once a week a one-2-one session with a key worker. Every session I bring up how I hate my body but no matter what I do or eat? I can't lose weight... then I binge on junk because I'm a failure.

I've been off and on MFP for years (since January 2013 infarct) and I have managed to lose. Previously I lost 60lbs! But I couldn't have done it without the friends and support I had from the people on MFP keeping me on track. Soon as they started to disappear weather is reaching there goal or quitting? I eventually felt abandoned and alone on my journey which caused me to pile back on the pounds plus more. This is making me depressed, I want to do it... but I know I can't do it alone. I know I'll have my boyfriend who's also on MFP and a power lifter supporting me, but how I managed to succeed before was having people to talk to who can relate. I want to become a mum one day eventually but at my condition mentally and psyically that won't happen any time soon and that destroys me because becoming a mum's my biggest dream.

I've chosen to start tomorrow on calorie counting again, do a food shop on Tuesday of clean healthy foods and start again. I plan not to give up, I doubt I will because I have something I've never had before. Therapy twice a week to help me think and focus. I'm sorry about the essay, just wanted to break my story out and let it out to be honest if that makes sense? I'm open to friend requests and would love any advice or tips.

Thank you.

Samantha x

Replies

  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,181 Member
    Hi. If you believe in your self, you can do it. Remember weight loss does not happen over night and you will have to change your attitude. One the things that you can do for your self is the following:
    create a goal of (for example) 1500 calories that you want to eat, now every time you want to eat, add it to mfp, and say to your will this help you get to your goal. If the answer is yes then eat it, if the answer is no, don't eat it.
    Change your parking. walk little bit more. Walk the stairs. I am not saying walk 20 flights of stair, but walk 1 flight of stairs.
    At being 300 lbs its hard to move your body. It really really is. but remember 1000 little steps will make a large big step.

  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    Hi. If you believe in your self, you can do it. Remember weight loss does not happen over night and you will have to change your attitude. One the things that you can do for your self is the following:
    create a goal of (for example) 1500 calories that you want to eat, now every time you want to eat, add it to mfp, and say to your will this help you get to your goal. If the answer is yes then eat it, if the answer is no, don't eat it.
    Change your parking. walk little bit more. Walk the stairs. I am not saying walk 20 flights of stair, but walk 1 flight of stairs.
    At being 300 lbs its hard to move your body. It really really is. but remember 1000 little steps will make a large big step.

    I do believe in myself because I know I've managed before, but I can't do it alone (mentally). MFP has given me a goal of 1700 calories but I think it's a bit high for me especially as a go a few days without eating sometimes. So may have to lower it too 1500 but if I'm hungry use the extra '200' calories for a snack.

    I like the idea of if it'll help me then it's okay to eat, I'm going to write it down and stick it to the back of my phone.
    Eeek, I live on the 2nd foor of an apartment building and taking the stairs is a killer! But I'll now make sure it's my goal to unless I'm carrying a bulk load of shopping.

    Being 300lbs sucks :( x
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    First of all, so glad you're getting therapy to deal with your issues. That support can be invaluable. One thing that helped me was to create a few planned days of balanced meals that allowed me to take some days off from thinking about "what can I have"? Otherwise, I found that I became weary of planning daily. Or create a bunch of breakfasts that come out to similar calories. Then do the same with lunch, dinner and snacks. You can write them on notecards and try different combinations that will equal similar calories for the day. And even switch the meals around if you want. I know this seems like a simple/silly thing to do, but it sometimes helps to set yourself up to make the process easier, at least at first. Wishing you all the best. You have many exciting years ahead and you won't regret living them in a healthier way!
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    Glad to see that you're getting support for your issues. If you want support, we'll be there for you. But you must make the commitment and update daily. As long as you do that, I'll be there to support you.
  • MadamSabs
    MadamSabs Posts: 14 Member
    Hi Samantha!
    My name is Sabrina and I'm also 22!! I wanted to wish you good luck with your weight loss journey! You have already done so well by losing the 60 pounds and I'm sure you will lose even more this time to become even healthier and fitter!! I've also started losing weight and I actually have found calorie counting to be very useful and I lost 4 pounds just this last week by doing so! One advice I would give you is to keep active as that definitely helps, even if that means just going for a walk! Also make sure you get the right amount of nutrients a day as that's something I definitely struggled with before. Any ways good luck! You can do it!!!!
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    Your photo shows a beautiful young woman. Trust me, you can do this. With the support of your loved ones, MFP, and your therapist, you can succeed. Always remember you are worth it. Stairs are a killer, believe me I know. I started out at 290# and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming winded. Use the stairs to help you become more fit. As the weight comes off, you will notice that it starts to become easier to go up those stairs.
    Best of luck to you!
  • butterflylady86
    butterflylady86 Posts: 369 Member
    Best of luck to you Hope you have a great birthday :) If you need a friend Please feel free to add me.
  • 1PoisonIvy
    1PoisonIvy Posts: 894 Member
    I am almost 300 too, but as one loses weight I discovered my outlook improves too, Praying for you mentally and physically
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    First of all, so glad you're getting therapy to deal with your issues. That support can be invaluable. One thing that helped me was to create a few planned days of balanced meals that allowed me to take some days off from thinking about "what can I have"? Otherwise, I found that I became weary of planning daily. Or create a bunch of breakfasts that come out to similar calories. Then do the same with lunch, dinner and snacks. You can write them on notecards and try different combinations that will equal similar calories for the day. And even switch the meals around if you want. I know this seems like a simple/silly thing to do, but it sometimes helps to set yourself up to make the process easier, at least at first. Wishing you all the best. You have many exciting years ahead and you won't regret living them in a healthier way!

    Ah that's actually an awesome idea, I'll need to sit down with my boyfriend so we can discuss how it'll also fit into his meal plans but I'm defo going to try that. Thank you so much and I wish you all the best with your goals too :smile: xx
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,181 Member
    Paiba wrote: »
    Hi. If you believe in your self, you can do it. Remember weight loss does not happen over night and you will have to change your attitude. One the things that you can do for your self is the following:
    create a goal of (for example) 1500 calories that you want to eat, now every time you want to eat, add it to mfp, and say to your will this help you get to your goal. If the answer is yes then eat it, if the answer is no, don't eat it.
    Change your parking. walk little bit more. Walk the stairs. I am not saying walk 20 flights of stair, but walk 1 flight of stairs.
    At being 300 lbs its hard to move your body. It really really is. but remember 1000 little steps will make a large big step.

    I do believe in myself because I know I've managed before, but I can't do it alone (mentally). MFP has given me a goal of 1700 calories but I think it's a bit high for me especially as a go a few days without eating sometimes. So may have to lower it too 1500 but if I'm hungry use the extra '200' calories for a snack.

    I like the idea of if it'll help me then it's okay to eat, I'm going to write it down and stick it to the back of my phone.
    Eeek, I live on the 2nd foor of an apartment building and taking the stairs is a killer! But I'll now make sure it's my goal to unless I'm carrying a bulk load of shopping.

    Being 300lbs sucks :( x

    There are a few things in your statement that I don't like.
    at 300 lbs just to maintain your weight should be about 2400 ( more or less)
    You should eat at somewhere at 1500 and 2000
    You should not go a few days with out eating!!!!.. You may eat too much the next day.
    Consider eating fish. 4 oz of fish is a lot more in volume than a 4 oz steak.
    Consider eating veggies. They contain almost no calories, consider them free foods.
    An example would be onions, mushrooms, cabbage as a side dish to the fish
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    srv524 wrote: »
    Glad to see that you're getting support for your issues. If you want support, we'll be there for you. But you must make the commitment and update daily. As long as you do that, I'll be there to support you.

    Yeah been with this mental health team since March last year, started the Therapy in May and don't finish my 'course' with them until October this year. So in the right place to be doing all this now. I plan to post daily on my feed, one to keep me onto MFP and two to share my struggles or progress both mentally and physically xx
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    MadamSabs wrote: »
    Hi Samantha!
    My name is Sabrina and I'm also 22!! I wanted to wish you good luck with your weight loss journey! You have already done so well by losing the 60 pounds and I'm sure you will lose even more this time to become even healthier and fitter!! I've also started losing weight and I actually have found calorie counting to be very useful and I lost 4 pounds just this last week by doing so! One advice I would give you is to keep active as that definitely helps, even if that means just going for a walk! Also make sure you get the right amount of nutrients a day as that's something I definitely struggled with before. Any ways good luck! You can do it!!!!

    Hi Sabrina, congratulations on the 4 pounds lost! That's amazing. ^_^ xx
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    Your photo shows a beautiful young woman. Trust me, you can do this. With the support of your loved ones, MFP, and your therapist, you can succeed. Always remember you are worth it. Stairs are a killer, believe me I know. I started out at 290# and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming winded. Use the stairs to help you become more fit. As the weight comes off, you will notice that it starts to become easier to go up those stairs.
    Best of luck to you!

    Ah thank you, at the moment I don't feel beautiful... maybe one day I will. Can I ask what do you weigh now if you don't mind me asking and I'm willing to take the pain of the stairs knowing it'll get easier lol ^_^ x
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    Best of luck to you Hope you have a great birthday :) If you need a friend Please feel free to add me.

    Thanks, I hope I do too lol. I sent a request xx
  • srv524
    srv524 Posts: 1,363 Member
    Paiba wrote: »
    srv524 wrote: »
    Glad to see that you're getting support for your issues. If you want support, we'll be there for you. But you must make the commitment and update daily. As long as you do that, I'll be there to support you.

    Yeah been with this mental health team since March last year, started the Therapy in May and don't finish my 'course' with them until October this year. So in the right place to be doing all this now. I plan to post daily on my feed, one to keep me onto MFP and two to share my struggles or progress both mentally and physically xx

    Well then feel free to add me. Like said someone before, you look like a beautiful young woman and I know you can do this :)
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member
    1PoisonIvy wrote: »
    I am almost 300 too, but as one loses weight I discovered my outlook improves too, Praying for you mentally and physically

    We'll both lose together, I'm hoping my outlook improves too. Thank you :* x
  • Paiba
    Paiba Posts: 9 Member

    There are a few things in your statement that I don't like.
    at 300 lbs just to maintain your weight should be about 2400 ( more or less)
    You should eat at somewhere at 1500 and 2000
    You should not go a few days with out eating!!!!.. You may eat too much the next day.
    Consider eating fish. 4 oz of fish is a lot more in volume than a 4 oz steak.
    Consider eating veggies. They contain almost no calories, consider them free foods.
    An example would be onions, mushrooms, cabbage as a side dish to the fish

    I'm 300 lbs and 5 Foot 7 Inches in hight? Wouldn't the maintenance change slightly? I suppose I should just stick with the recommended 1700 cals a day then (with it set at 2lbs a week).
    I know I shouldn't, I normally don't eat when my boyfriends away but plan to change that.
    I'm not a fan of fish, the only fish I manage to eat is tuna or salmon?
    I love my veggies tho! I can bulk up a plate with it so I'll be stocking up lol. ^_^ x
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,181 Member
    Paiba wrote: »

    There are a few things in your statement that I don't like.
    at 300 lbs just to maintain your weight should be about 2400 ( more or less)
    You should eat at somewhere at 1500 and 2000
    You should not go a few days with out eating!!!!.. You may eat too much the next day.
    Consider eating fish. 4 oz of fish is a lot more in volume than a 4 oz steak.
    Consider eating veggies. They contain almost no calories, consider them free foods.
    An example would be onions, mushrooms, cabbage as a side dish to the fish

    I'm 300 lbs and 5 Foot 7 Inches in hight? Wouldn't the maintenance change slightly? I suppose I should just stick with the recommended 1700 cals a day then (with it set at 2lbs a week).
    I know I shouldn't, I normally don't eat when my boyfriends away but plan to change that.
    I'm not a fan of fish, the only fish I manage to eat is tuna or salmon?
    I love my veggies tho! I can bulk up a plate with it so I'll be stocking up lol. ^_^ x

    Just stick with the 1700, if you feel hungry then eat, but try not to go over 2400
    with every meal have water, or an apple, to fill up on before the actual meal
    Tuna is perfect and so is salmon, so is breast meat ( chicken & turkey) ( more bang for the buck)

    If you really want to have fun, try eating 2000 calories worth of just veggies.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    Paiba wrote: »
    Your photo shows a beautiful young woman. Trust me, you can do this. With the support of your loved ones, MFP, and your therapist, you can succeed. Always remember you are worth it. Stairs are a killer, believe me I know. I started out at 290# and could barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming winded. Use the stairs to help you become more fit. As the weight comes off, you will notice that it starts to become easier to go up those stairs.
    Best of luck to you!

    Ah thank you, at the moment I don't feel beautiful... maybe one day I will. Can I ask what do you weigh now if you don't mind me asking and I'm willing to take the pain of the stairs knowing it'll get easier lol ^_^ x

    Well Sweetie, that is the thing, it does get easier. It especially helps when you keep losing. It makes the motivation strong to keep going. Going down sizes is a great feeling. The success stories here are a big part of what kept me going.

    I weigh 130 now and have been on maintenance for 2 years, so that is how I know you can do this. You are so young and have your whole future ahead of you. You deserve to be happy and healthy, and you can do this, please believe me. If I can do it, most anyone can do it, and that is the honest truth. Even though I am old enough (64) to be your grandmother, I know your pain, and it breaks my heart. Nothing would make me happier than to log on MFP one day, and read your success story. Don't ever give up, you can do this!