Odd girl out...feeling bad when you should feel good?

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ElmersGlue
ElmersGlue Posts: 13
in Motivation and Support
I've always felt or been the "fat girl" in my groups of girl friends whenever we go out, so it's not anything new when I went out with some of them this last weekend. I love those girls to death, but they are all just so petite and so darn cute that I end up feeling like a clunky elephant next to them. It's hard not to feel a bit down when I'm still on my weight loss journey when I compare myself to them. I know I shouldn't, but somehow I just end up being much more affected than I realize... I guess I'm finding it a bit hard to be proud of what I've done so far when that small, evil voice in the back of my mind keeps reminding me that I got myself into this unhealthy, gross state in the first place. Even now, my progress has been good (I'm half-way to my goal weight) and I'm working on readjusting my bad eating/exercising(lack-of) habits but I still feel numb. Why can't I feel good when I'm doing well? Just anxious...I'm also soon reaching the lowest weight I've gotten down to the last time before I basically crashed and went back to my old ways. I'm scared that approaching that point again, what if I suddenly start failing again? I have such supportive, loving people in my life that I've hurt with my bad choices in the past that I can't bear the thought of disappointing again. I actually start to feel fairly uneasy and nervous when I can't go work out that day because the illogical part of me thinks I'll gain weight then. I hate thinking that way and putting all this pressure on myself, anyone else ever experience any of this and how did you deal with any of this? Or just any words of wisdom?

These bad feelings have been kind of hovering over me all week :( Thank goodness, it's Friday. Can I get a hug or something?? :)

Replies

  • sreimer07
    sreimer07 Posts: 154 Member
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    *HUG* i know exactly how you feel. I've always been the bigger girl out of all my friends which makes it hard. Were all here to help and support you on your journey. It will be ok. You will surpass your lowest weight and then some and things will be ok! :)
  • RichardWhitman
    RichardWhitman Posts: 105 Member
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    Tell them you are dieting, and you are serious, and you'd like all their help. If they are really friends, you'll know.
  • meggers123
    meggers123 Posts: 711 Member
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    XXXXXXX

    MFP Hug! If you were nearer I'd give you a real one. Don't get down. 32 pounds is such an achievement! I can't wait to be where you are!

    Look behind you only to see how far you've come!!!
  • sarahliz06
    sarahliz06 Posts: 2
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    I understand how you feel! All of my friends seem to be super skinny naturally and here I am just having had my second child and having to work my behind off to get back down to my goal weight. You are doing fantastic with the weight loss! 32 lbs is amazing and I hope I can do as well as you. Just remember you are beautiful no matter what, even if you aren't necessarily feeling it. Keep up the GREAT work and just try to keep positive thoughts. *HUG* And believe me I know all that is easier said than done.
  • Pam3
    Pam3 Posts: 1,687 Member
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    take a deep breathe....you're a great job keep telling yourself that because its the truth....good luck
  • mindslack
    mindslack Posts: 5 Member
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    I know it seems silly, but I feel the same. I don't have as much as a transformation as you, but its going from a place that you know well and have some security in, to an in between place where nothing feels comfortable.

    I can only liken it to when I was pregnant and everything about my body changed so fast that I didn't have a chance to catch my breath and the remaining weight I had after felt so alien, then eventually felt "ok" and I reconciled myself to that level.

    The part you are in is the transition, the cocoon before you emerge as a butterfly, the thing you don't quite realise right now, is that you are a butterfly now but because its so transient you don't accept it, and only see it when you are your goal weight.

    I think the thing to take with you in your mind, is that the journey is just as important as the destination, and reward yourself periodically for all you have achieved. Try to enjoy it and love who you are. I know these are words and reality is so much harder, but even painting your nails, or wearing funky underwear that only you know about, is a little secret happiness just for you.

    I think everyone feels like the odd girl out, I did this evening in a similar scenario. But you are a part of things, and its you seperating yourself. Take a moment, feel the thought, then let it pass and relax to have fun. Hugs xx
  • sunyg
    sunyg Posts: 229
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    ((((((HUGGGGGSSSS)))))

    You are doing wonderful! I know it's hard to keep on going on when you don't feel like it. But that is why you are here so that others going thru the same thing or that have been there can help you keep going when you just don't feel like it.
    I've felt like giving up many times and honestly the Success story forum has helped me a lot.

    Please don't give up, you have come so far. Tell that voice to shut the f*** up. YOU are amazing!!!!!!

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