How do you know when you have a problem?

First of all keep plugging on....second find another therapist..one you can feel it's helping, one that specialises in food issues. You're not alone there is help.

I also have issues where I'll eat like that. For me, I have to keep reminding myself at every meal that eating more pizza/takeout/chocolate won't fix my problem. My new years resolution this year is to ask myself a couple of questions when I'm stressed.

1. Can I control this stress? If I can, than I think of a way to fix the issue. If I can't I move on to
2. Will this end my life or someone else's.
3. Will this be resolved by waiting? This last one is the hardest, but I've come to believe that most things sort themselves out, given time.

Now, that's a pretty simplistic way of coping and doesn't always work, but I had to start somewhere.

I also have to be careful with treats. I can have a "treat" every day, but I can't have a whole day where I make bad choices or it makes it super hard to eat healthfully the next day. The good thing is that the more days where I make good choices, the easier it gets.

Some of this is willpower, but I think a lot of it goes deeper. I'd definitely see someone who you can destress with and can teach you coping strategies.

I would also suggest (and I might get flak for this) stop trying to manage eating and exercising at the same time. Pick one to focus on. I'd suggest food. You can add exercise, but making all kinds of life changes all at the same time is hard. Exercise can easily become a habit, but it won't matter how much you exercise if you don't get the eating under control. You don't have to save the world in 1 day.

First, some things are a choice. I have bought chocolates today. I could eat the whole box. I would love to eat the whole box, like a little kid with no self control. But (1) unlike my 3 year old self I know it will make me sick and would rather avoid it and (2) I know it is not good for me. So, I make a choice to eat just one piece. Same with pizza. I remember myself as a preschooler being so in love with pizza that once I did eat until I threw up. Not an experience I care to repeat. And a whole pizza would probably be more than my maintenance calories for the day. So I choose to eat 2 pieces. I could eat more. I choose not to.
So, in this sense, no, most people do not feel physically ill from eating large portions. Most people, slim or obese, do not eat a couple of slices of pizza and feel so full they cannot continue. They leave room for other food, or just decide to stop when they feel this is enough calories or fat or carbs or whatever.
I see you are young, a mother, obese and also already need diabetes medication. So, yes, I think you do need to use any resourced you can find to get to a healthier lifestyle. Therapy might be a good idea if you feel you cannot control the impulse to it. A dietician, to help with a specific diabetes prevention plan, so you have guidelines on what your meals and calories should be like, might also help a lot.

I heard this long ago and it still makes sense to me. Maybe Jenny Craig or something, "nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels" or something like that.

I travel a lot, and I get hungry, it is so easy to stop at the big drive through and mow on some double bacon monster burger, Orings and water of course.... As I drive I try to talk myself into it, I try to justify what that big juicy burger would taste like. "I saw another billboard, oh man soon enough I'll just pull off grab it and get back on the road.. It's on the right side right off the highway.. easy peasy... Here come the exit... oh, man.. I can't I just can't. I KNOW that I will not like it as much as I am thinking that I will." Then comes the self deprecating statements to myself.. What are you an idiot, man up! Don't wuss out... yada yada...

So then I gas up at a Quicky mart and get a fruit and some beef jerkey, or order a salad at McDonalds. Something, ANYthing other than that flame broiled burger.

My point is we tell ourselves lies all day, and frankly that guilty feeling of eating that crap after you've eaten it and realize it wasn't as great as your mind thought it was going to be.

Lie to yourself some more, just tell yourself good lies, over and over. Just one piece and I can't eat any more, I'll get sick, yeah, sick and then I'll feel like crap afterwards, yeah and nauseated...Eventually, your mind will really follow.

In my opinion, we have to tell ourselves new good lies every day, "I LOVE the elliptical!!" "I LOVE sqauts" "I get sick if I eat unhealthy".. "man I look good in these Jeans" Those really are powerful messages when told every day. Deprogram yourself, it can be done!

Good luck.

ellivort wrote: »

I'll admit to feeling very defensive about his particularly reply. If it was simply a matter of choice, we'd all just take the high road. To me it feels like a compulsion I am powerless to control.

I'm not one to balk at hearing the hard things, but this reply felt a tad judgemental.

I have just now booked and appt with an eating disorder clinic that I didn't know existed they deal with both under and overeating issues. I am hoping to find help there.

I was not trying to judge you, only to explain that you are misunderstanding people. You said in the first post that you see people full with 1 or 2 slices of pizza. This is the part you misunderstand. Unless these people have already eaten something else, they are not full. They stop without being full and eat something else, or eat something else besides the pizza you notice them eating.
No adult feels full and satisfied after such a small meal. But what you eat matters.
So, if e.g. you know pizza will be there for dinner, you can choose to first eat a big salad and then a couple of slices of pizza, so you will not feel hungry enough to eat the whole pizza. You seem to think that your need to eat until full is abnormal. It is not, you are a perfectly normal person in this aspect. Everyone likes to eat when hungry. But you can choose meals that are high volume for low calories, then eat favourite calorie dense things in smaller portions.
If e.g. I decide to have lunch and then nothing until ordering pizza for dinner 8 hours later, you bet I am going to eat the entire pizza and wash it down with a few beers, before my mind has time to catch up with the fact I am actually not dying from hunger. Which is why when I plan to eat some calorie dense dinner I make sure to eat also a snack earlier on, get a salad or other low calorie but feeling side dish etc.
What to eat and when is a choice. Staring at the pizza after 1 slice with an otherwise empty stomach and refusing to eat more, it sounds like some sort of torture. Which is why I suggested a dietitian: so you can plan ahead balanced meals, that will keep you satisfied, without going over in calories.

I can appreciate that a lot of people are able to just "plug along" and put "mind over matter", but frankly, that doesn't work for everyone, or it at least doesn't work right away. Some people need extra help, and that is okay.

Nobody has suggested this yet, but have you looked into Overeaters Anonymous? It's a program - similar to Alcoholics Anonymous - that is meeting/group based, you get a sponsor/mentor, and a lot of in-person support and accountability, which is huge. And - bonus! - it's free.

I know you're tired of this. But you can start to gain control. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting help in order to gain that control. I did a quick search on Google, and it looks like there are at least two chapters of Overeaters Anonymous in your town.

You are not alone, and I think you could benefit from being part of a group that lets you know you aren't alone. I have struggled with anxiety/depression over the past few years, and my therapist was great, BUT group therapy was the most helpful therapy I got. Good luck. You can do this.

Good for you, OP, I think you are on a good track with the appointment with the clinic.

You will hear many voices here on MFP, ranging from "sugar is addictive" (which raises flags for people who don't demonize it) to "it's just calories in calories out" (which is simple but not easy) to "just STOP!" -- when stopping feels impossible, as you expressed below.

Eating is a deeply emotional experience which connects to our most basic needs as a human, our sense of pleasure and fulfillment, our fundamental wiring in childhood. Though we who eat to excess have much in common, that territory for you is highly personal and decipherable only by you. If efforts to approach this as a problem of willpower or choice or education about nutrition are falling short for you, as they did for me, then I would encourage you to explore the emotional territory, and a clinic for eating disorders is a great place to start. Therapy recommended too if you can afford it, as someone above said look for someone who knows about eating disorders.

Best of everything to you!

ellivort wrote: »

...To me it feels like a compulsion I am powerless to control. ...

I have just now booked and appt with an eating disorder clinic that I didn't know existed they deal with both under and overeating issues. I am hoping to find help there.

ellivort wrote: »

I'll admit to feeling very defensive about his particularly reply. If it was simply a matter of choice, we'd all just take the high road. To me it feels like a compulsion I am powerless to control.

I'm not one to balk at hearing the hard things, but this reply felt a tad judgemental.

I have just now booked and appt with an eating disorder clinic that I didn't know existed they deal with both under and overeating issues. I am hoping to find help there.

Anyone here telling you that this is about willpower should be ignored. It's like telling someone with OCD to "just stop it." Binge eating and compulsive overeating (things I too struggle with) are mental health issues. See what the eating disorder clinic says. This problem (as with most compulsive behavior) is usually best treated with cognitive behavioral therapy. Keeping the food that will trigger you to binge out of the house is also helpful.

This exactly. brightresolve - I agree the compulsion to eat is very complex and highly personalized. Thanks for stating this so eloquently!

OP - I find Pizza to be a trigger food for me and only eat it on the occasions that I can work at least 3 slices into my calories for the day. Some people can be satisfied with just 1 slice, but it won't satisfy the craving for me. This is just one of the many things I have learned about myself during my weight loss journey. (Lost 90 lbs over 2 years.) Congrats on setting the appt. with the clinic, I hope it is helpful for you.

brightresolve wrote: »

Good for you, OP, I think you are on a good track with the appointment with the clinic.

You will hear many voices here on MFP, ranging from "sugar is addictive" (which raises flags for people who don't demonize it) to "it's just calories in calories out" (which is simple but not easy) to "just STOP!" -- when stopping feels impossible, as you expressed below.

Eating is a deeply emotional experience which connects to our most basic needs as a human, our sense of pleasure and fulfillment, our fundamental wiring in childhood. Though we who eat to excess have much in common, that territory for you is highly personal and decipherable only by you. If efforts to approach this as a problem of willpower or choice or education about nutrition are falling short for you, as they did for me, then I would encourage you to explore the emotional territory, and a clinic for eating disorders is a great place to start. Therapy recommended too if you can afford it, as someone above said look for someone who knows about eating disorders.

Best of everything to you!

ellivort wrote: »

...To me it feels like a compulsion I am powerless to control. ...

I have just now booked and appt with an eating disorder clinic that I didn't know existed they deal with both under and overeating issues. I am hoping to find help there.

I never really understood therapists. (sorry to those in the profession) I know that not everyone is me though, I get that.. However, most people know what their problems are, most can identify that food, alcohol, or smoking is their problem. It's how you deal with them, the triggers, and the situations, the why. Therapy seems to be just talking with someone that will listen. Someone knowledgeable in the area to give advice on how others deal or have dealt with the problem, no one can make you do anything you aren't ready to do. Back before google, ebooks, and forums, it was hard to find general answers from people with similar problems. How did they cope, how did they overcome.. Not everyone I read about is me though, how do I know that will work for me... ?

I would think that most of us here have some form of an eating disorder, or lack of knowledge of nutrition and health, all having to deal with problems facing food. For me, I guzzle a big 16 oz glass of water before, during or after a meal, maybe even two sometimes. That triggers my full sensor enough to be able to overcome the desire to eat more. That works for ME, won't work with everyone, but it took a long time finding out what works for ME. Life is just a combination of trial and error. You can find your triggers, you can determine what is making you lazy, you can find out why you do the things you do by trying something different, because frankly, what you are doing now isn't working...

I can't say enough about the interaction of forums like these to give people ideas that they can try to change themselves for the better. Not everyone's suggestions will work, but at least there is an outlet to help that you can try to see if it works for you before shelling out $150 per hour to someone that will listen.