Feel like giving up and quitting.

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Replies

  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    I can see his wife's position. You can't on the one hand ask for someone to support you, but then don't expect them to challenge you when you don't make any changes.
  • Rangerfied
    Rangerfied Posts: 93 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    You mentioned finding someone to talk to to find the source of your food issues. Is that possible for you? Can you find a local therapist that might be able to help? Or, look online for some self-help techniques that help you locate the true source of the issue.

    Also, have an honest discussion with your wife. Set boundaries and ground rules for each of you, such as whether it is okay or not for her to tell you that you can't have more dinner or whether it's reasonable for you to expect her to make changes, too.

    It sounds like you are a quantity eater so try little things such as @Chaagy suggested and remember that we generally eat the quantities we do out of habit, but don't really NEED that much food. Take a portion of something. Make sure it is smaller than your usual portion size. Tell yourself that if you want more that food will be there. Eat slower. Enjoy and taste each bite. Wait 10 min. or so and see if you are still truly hungry. If so, get another smaller portion. It's just a matter of creating new habits. You can do it!

    Yes I'd probably say I am a quantity eater. It's a habit that goes way back. A habit that I'll admit is hard to break. If I'm really enjoying a dish of food at dinner, then I do go back for more. I may not feel full, but I'm also not hungry. But I'm like that's really good and away I go having more.

    I don't really have anyone to talk to about it and maybe that is what I need to find in my area.
  • elaineamj
    elaineamj Posts: 347 Member
    To combat my inclination to eat in large quantities - I have been weighing and pre-logging. If it pushes me over for the day, I'll cut back my portion to fit. I HATE to see that red number!!
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    Since you have a ton of existing data to work with, do you know what your actual average intake has been in the last 3 months? I'm wondering if you're trying to hit a too-extreme deficit. (It seems like 2200-2500 might be a significant deficit if you're still around 271). Could you try cutting 250 calories off of your average intake? It might be easier to stick to that goal, and at this point, it seems like consistency and adherence are your biggest challenges. A 250-calorie deficit every day would give you a 0.5 pound loss per week; it's not huge, but it will add up over time.
  • xveer22
    xveer22 Posts: 93 Member
    Someone already said it before, but I would also remmond you the book 'The Beck Diet Solution'. This book is not a diet, but it is a six-week program for changing your mindset about food and learning to practise helpful skills. It helped me a lot and for me it was exactly what I needed.
  • Chaagy
    Chaagy Posts: 109 Member
    I totally get the pizza and lasagna and office food. Sometimes it feels like it's always against us. But one thing I like to think about is, will I ever be able to have this food again. Probably. Will I go to another family gathering in a week or 2 weeks, and will there be good food there again. Probably. There's a lot of easy to get food out there, that isn't the best of it, and can be easily eaten again. So, it's all regular food that you always get. And tomorrow or soon, you'll get it again.

    Save those blow-outs for when you really know this is something special. It could be your birthday, or just eating at the place that has the best darn cheeseburger on the planet. Then go for it.

    All other times, you'll get pizza again, probably from the same place. Those regular chips and ice cream you eat, you're always eating them. Wait until you find the best darn chips on the planet, or go to the best darn ice cream shop. Those are the times for indulgence.

    I'm heading into Chinese New Year this weekend, and I expect I will probably be about 100-200 calories above my plan, but so be it. I'm not going to blow it out this weekend, and by Monday I will be 100% back on track.

    It's tough to get your wife to help you. My wife managed to hide snacks for a bit, but I don't want her creeping around trying to hide snack eating from me. And eventually, I kind of realized, it's really all on me to do it (or in this case not eat it) for me. She doesn't run with me, but she will go on walks with me. Perhaps you just need to find certain things that you do together, and certain things that you don't. I will say, let's go walk in the park this afternoon, and she'll be up for it. But I definitely know she's not a gym gal, or a running gal.... though somehow she manages to remain pretty fit. I did mention we should do a few YouTube workouts, and she said she'd be up for that. So that's encouraging.

    At the end of the day, I cannot force her to do something she has not committed to doing for herself. Nor did she have luck getting me to be healthier until I finally decided I would. I will ask her to join me, but if she does not, then I will still do it. Who knows, maybe she will see me having so much fun, and then join me. You can only lead by example, suggest, and encourage. The decision is hers. Just as the decision is and always has been yours to do what you need to do.

    Keep up the fight!
  • keefmac
    keefmac Posts: 313 Member
    I managed to average around 1700 calories a day (over the week) including pizza Wednesday and some beer.

    If your heart's not in it no "diet" will work for you unfortunately..
  • Rangerfied
    Rangerfied Posts: 93 Member
    AliceDark wrote: »
    Since you have a ton of existing data to work with, do you know what your actual average intake has been in the last 3 months? I'm wondering if you're trying to hit a too-extreme deficit. (It seems like 2200-2500 might be a significant deficit if you're still around 271). Could you try cutting 250 calories off of your average intake? It might be easier to stick to that goal, and at this point, it seems like consistency and adherence are your biggest challenges. A 250-calorie deficit every day would give you a 0.5 pound loss per week; it's not huge, but it will add up over time.

    Unfortunately, most days I'm in the red numbers. Too be honest I sometimes don't know why I keep logging. But I do it anyway. It's like a habit now.
  • skinnyfatman959
    skinnyfatman959 Posts: 13 Member
    Not saying what works for me works for everyone but I'm 359 currently a month ago I was 381. I just eat alot of fruits n veggies and cut out breads all day but breakfast. I eat 3 eggs n 3 slices of bacon with healthy lite bread. Then for lunch I do lettuce wraps with deli turkey or chicken. And veggies


    I haven't incoprate weights yet. I need to take one step at a time
  • Rangerfied
    Rangerfied Posts: 93 Member
    Not saying what works for me works for everyone but I'm 359 currently a month ago I was 381. I just eat alot of fruits n veggies and cut out breads all day but breakfast. I eat 3 eggs n 3 slices of bacon with healthy lite bread. Then for lunch I do lettuce wraps with deli turkey or chicken. And veggies


    I haven't incoprate weights yet. I need to take one step at a time


    Great job. That's good you're down that much in a month. Congratulations. Keep up the good work.
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
    edival wrote: »
    I'm going to give some unusual advice as you seem stuck and frustrated. I highly suggest reading two books: The Big Fat Surprise

    Yeah! Love this one. I was already on board with the idea, but it was very helpful with the details and history of food perception and the motivations of all the players.
  • Rangerfied
    Rangerfied Posts: 93 Member
    edival wrote: »
    I'm going to give some unusual advice as you seem stuck and frustrated. I highly suggest reading two books: The Big Fat Surprise

    Yeah! Love this one. I was already on board with the idea, but it was very helpful with the details and history of food perception and the motivations of all the players.

    So I'm seeing "The Big Fat Surprise: Why Butter, Meat and Cheese Belong in a Healthy Diet" and "The Big Fat Surprise Recipes: 80 Delicious and Healthy Fat Foods, Lose weight Eating the Foods you Love ". Are they both good or is one better than the other?

    I'll add them to the list of books to read.
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