A Cautionary Tale, with Pics
ladyhawk00
Posts: 2,457 Member
I decided to take some progress pics – which was a very difficult thing for me to do. Having had lots of issues with eating disorders and body image for most of my life, pictures are not my friend.
After I took them, I posted on my feed how disappointed I was with the results. While I can certainly see improvement, the camera is so cruel and doesn't really illustrate the progress of 20 lbs and 15 inches lost. I see things (muscle definition) in person that you just don't see in a picture. Pics are hard for me, to begin with. I am, of course, horrified at my beginning pics. I would feel better with others seeing them if I felt that the current pic looked better. I have been literally nauseous while writing this out, at the very thought of showing these pics. But I decided to post them anyway, as I thought perhaps my struggles might show how working against your body is the wrong way to go.
Some of my story is here:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/175241-a-personal-view-on-exercise-cals-and-underfeeding
Might also help to read this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/230930-starvation-mode-how-it-works
My progress is slow - and I'm ok with it being slow, and I don't have any desire to be "ripped" or have a really low BF%. I don’t exercise crazy amounts, and my diet is not perfect. Perfection isn’t a goal that works very well for me. I just want to get to a healthy place and feel comfortable in my own skin.
In my struggles with “starvation mode”, I lost a large amount of lean muscle (and my metabolism was in tatters). I think that’s clear in my beginning picture. While my weight was not THAT high, my BF% was. Obviously, I still have a very long way to go. I have made a lot of progress, and I’m immensely proud of it. But it is still very hard to see those pictures and realize how much damage I inflicted on myself through underfeeding. I’m what you’d call (not-so) skinny fat. I’m just barely overweight now, but my composition is still very poor. So, let this be an illustration of what NOT to do. Underfeeding wreaks havoc on your body, and will make everything a lot harder. Save yourself the trouble and do it the healthy way. I wish I had for all those years. And I'm so glad I've found MFP (and all of my friends) to help me get on the right path to getting healthy.
At my highest weight, I was about 195 lbs, size 16ish. Ten years ago, when I was at my worst with my ED, I was 122 lbs, size 2. Here's to finding a happy medium. :drinker:
Jan 2, 2011 - 191
June 15, 2011 - 171
37 yrs old, 5'9"
After I took them, I posted on my feed how disappointed I was with the results. While I can certainly see improvement, the camera is so cruel and doesn't really illustrate the progress of 20 lbs and 15 inches lost. I see things (muscle definition) in person that you just don't see in a picture. Pics are hard for me, to begin with. I am, of course, horrified at my beginning pics. I would feel better with others seeing them if I felt that the current pic looked better. I have been literally nauseous while writing this out, at the very thought of showing these pics. But I decided to post them anyway, as I thought perhaps my struggles might show how working against your body is the wrong way to go.
Some of my story is here:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/175241-a-personal-view-on-exercise-cals-and-underfeeding
Might also help to read this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/230930-starvation-mode-how-it-works
My progress is slow - and I'm ok with it being slow, and I don't have any desire to be "ripped" or have a really low BF%. I don’t exercise crazy amounts, and my diet is not perfect. Perfection isn’t a goal that works very well for me. I just want to get to a healthy place and feel comfortable in my own skin.
In my struggles with “starvation mode”, I lost a large amount of lean muscle (and my metabolism was in tatters). I think that’s clear in my beginning picture. While my weight was not THAT high, my BF% was. Obviously, I still have a very long way to go. I have made a lot of progress, and I’m immensely proud of it. But it is still very hard to see those pictures and realize how much damage I inflicted on myself through underfeeding. I’m what you’d call (not-so) skinny fat. I’m just barely overweight now, but my composition is still very poor. So, let this be an illustration of what NOT to do. Underfeeding wreaks havoc on your body, and will make everything a lot harder. Save yourself the trouble and do it the healthy way. I wish I had for all those years. And I'm so glad I've found MFP (and all of my friends) to help me get on the right path to getting healthy.
At my highest weight, I was about 195 lbs, size 16ish. Ten years ago, when I was at my worst with my ED, I was 122 lbs, size 2. Here's to finding a happy medium. :drinker:
Jan 2, 2011 - 191
June 15, 2011 - 171
37 yrs old, 5'9"
0
Replies
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Oh my goodness I can TOTALLY see the change!!! I am looking forward to when my "after" picture looks like yours
Even with pants on in the first picture you can see how much slimmer your legs are and your tummy looks awesome! I'm too chicken to even to the "before" pictures but I guess i should *sigh*
You have done an amazing job and I hope you will believe me when I say there is absolutely a significantly noticeable difference in those two pictures. Awesome job!
-Jennifer0 -
We're all our own worst critics, and if those pictures aren't showing as much progress in person, then all I can say is "wow" because there's definitely a good deal of difference in those two pictures (especially in your abdomen and definition in your arms).0
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There's definitely a change around your midsection. You're doing awesome!0
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I see a HUGE difference! Good for you!! None of us gives ourselves enough credit - that's why we need support.0
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You look great. I know its hard to believe that but you do, and one day you will find your happy medium be happy with your results.0
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I can definitely see the change. Good work!0
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I see a lot of progress. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.0
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There is definetly a difference that can be seen! You are looking great! I know the feeling of posting pics on here...it was nerve racking when I posted mine...way to go!0
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It's funny how things look to ourselves in pictures that others see so differently. I can see a clear change in your abdomen and thighs. You are looking very good. Keep up your positive progress!0
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All I gotta say is wow! Your pics are ins0
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We are our own worst critics...
I think you look fabulous!
I see a huge change in those pictures - even if you don't see it.
WTG!0 -
All I gotta say is wow! Your pics are ins
Ins=inspiration0 -
You are looking terrific! The change is very, very obvious. Thank you for sharing your story and your pictures with all of us. I understand all too well about the pictures. My "family albums" are missing me in almost every picture...hoping that will change soon! You should be very, very proud of yourself! Great job!0
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Good for you! There are definitely results!! You are doing great + thanks for making yourself "uncomfortable" and posting progress pics! HUGE NSV.......facing your fears 0
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You are being really hard on yourself. There is a very big change between the pictures! You have supported and helped so many of us here and I think it's time for us to do the same for you.
You've struggled with so many things in your life. It hasn't been easy. You have learned from those hard lessons, which many of us NEVER want to learn. You have changed, grown, and know that the past can help address the future.
The camera is NOT as cruel as you think it is, honestly. We see what you don't - so believe in yourself and trust us, that we know you've made way more progress than you think. We
you! 0 -
good job!0
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Definitely see the change and the increased muscle definition. You're doing a great job and I have faith you will keep up the good work!0
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I weigh less than you, and I STILL wish I looked as good as you do!
Lol. You're amazing ladyhawk. Keep up the good work. 0 -
Thank you for being willing to share your story with us and your knowledge as well. I know I have a great deal of respect for you for what you bring to this community. You are doing great and making progress and that's what counts! Kudos for doing it the healthy way... slow and steady wins the race! :flowerforyou:0
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You look fabulous. .. . Love the pics. .. Thank you for sharing! :bigsmile:0
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I think you look amazing! i definitely see the muscle definition, and you're beautiful inside and out! don't be so harsh on yourself 0
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20 lbs has made a noticeable difference in your size, for sure.
I'm actually very impressed that you posted your pics, Ladyhawk.
The weight you are at now is my goal weight for the moment.
Women I know in real life who are between your height and mine - 5'7" - and who weigh 170 - look slim to me.
I have been dieting for as long as I can remember and it's gotten me nothing but fatter and with lost muscle to boot.
I only wish I was as *fat* as I was when I started this whole crazy carnival ride -- 150ish.
All because I believed what others' standards were for how I should look.
Just. Nuts.
I wish you all the very best and a return to your best health. :flowerforyou:0 -
congratulations! i can definitely see the difference. ur abs is much more define.. congratulations!!!!0
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I see quite the difference, you look great! I am EDNOS, and I too know how hard it is with pictures...especially posting photos such as these. Very brave of you to post them. I know you will get nothing but positive from the people around here, because you are doing this for YOU, to make yourself happy and healthy.
Good luck with your journey, feel free to add me if you'd like 0 -
WTG you look great!0
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I understand. I had similar issues in my teens/early 20s. I did not take any "before pics" simply because I will get discouraged because no matter how much I lose at my check points it won't be "good enough". Give yourself a big hug. Take your measurments every month or two as well as body fat. They are the best indicators of how you are doing. If you don't want to do pics, don't feel that you have to. This should be a positive experience, not one that makes you want to crawl out of your skin. ((BIG HUGS)).
P.S.... Yes, I can definitely tell a difference. You are doing great. Slow and steady wins the race.0 -
Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means more to me than I could ever express. MFP has given me so much; I try my best to give back as much as I can. I never imagined, when I stumbled across MFP (just looking to find a place to record my exercise, since I swore I would never "count calories"), that it would bring me so much inspiration and hope and change my life in such a big way. I even believed I didn't "need friends". How wrong I was.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Thank you LH, for all you give to the MFP community. And considering where you've come from, with the ED & all, I'd say you have made great and significant progress. Keep inspiring us!0
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The changes at your mid-section is great, which it was the worst place storing fat (causing heart problem, etc). Thanks for sharing your experience, being our inspiration all the time, spending so many time to help others on the site. I'm so glad to see the progress and forever thankful for being my friend here. Hugs!0
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Nice results. You look great. Keep doing what you doing :-)0
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