Serious question men...

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AlanahBeez
AlanahBeez Posts: 60 Member
in Motivation and Support
So on a scale of 1-10, how important is it in your opinion for your significant other to be in shape? Explain?
(This has never been a personal problem for me, But I know men are visual creatures and I'm just curious how much it actually matters, HONESTLY)
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  • retrdartist
    retrdartist Posts: 7 Member
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    I am not a man but ,,, the opinion you have of yourself is the most important..... if someone is concerned about how you LOOK,,,,, keep looking , girl.... If someone who cares about you is concerned for your health ,, that is another matter... set your standards on how you are going to let other people judge you....
  • Captain_Chao5
    Captain_Chao5 Posts: 46 Member
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    I'm a man (well I was last time I checked :smile: ) I think I can say (without offending the Wife) that visual shape is not important, to me anyway. I often tell her I love her whatever shape she is. The only thing I would worry about is if her health started to suffer. As long as she is healthy and happy, then she is entitled to be as slim or 'cuddly' as she likes. Who am I to judge?
  • JoshuaMcAllister
    JoshuaMcAllister Posts: 500 Member
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    Its always nice when the girl I'm dating is into healthy eating and is relatively sporty. That way we have a common hobby but on a scale of importance, I would put it low end. 5 or lower. If everything about them seems right, what should it matter if your significant other cant run a mile? I'll just have to run the mile with them on my back haha. That being said, if they eat takeaways every other night it probably wont work out.
  • billbraskey
    billbraskey Posts: 99 Member
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    I dont care how she looks but it would be nice to have her around for a while and i wouldnt want her to be sick or uncomfortable when she gets older
  • OrganicRider
    OrganicRider Posts: 3 Member
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    billbraskey wrote: »
    I dont care how she looks but it would be nice to have her around for a while and i wouldnt want her to be sick or uncomfortable when she gets older

    This right here. One thing I noticed is that as lost my weight and started exercising, the "house" seemed to have changed as well.

    Now its just a matter of me maintaining my weight and keeping up with my cycling, weight training and yoga. The kids seem more active and definitely eat better since I have started shopping organic and cooking.

    My wife eats somewhat better, you can tell when she goes shopping and when I go :wink:

    She's 5'2" and 105lbs so no worries about overweight. I just worry about her overall health inside. I don't think she makes the best choices when it comes to eating, but I can't micro manage her life. If and when she is ready to eat better (cut back on sugar snacks), I'll be here to support :smile:

    I think it makes it a little more challenging, but once you get into a routine and maintain it, you'll be great. I just wish she would/could accompany me on my rides, but we do other things together.
  • StencilChild
    StencilChild Posts: 60 Member
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    It is important for the person I am with to be in shape. However, do not mistake that for being thin. I've dated tiny women, and large women. For me, pure aesthetics do not matter. I love to go camping and hiking. Having someone who can share that experience with me is essential. I'd rather be with a chubby woman who can keep up over a tiny woman who has to stop every 20 minutes to catch their breath!
  • AlanahBeez
    AlanahBeez Posts: 60 Member
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    These are awesome answers and I love them! :) I hate to go down this route.. But I'm also wondering as far as sexual attraction as well? I mean, doesn't it help to actually be attracted to the one your with??
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    It's very important to me mostly because of how it would affect our day to day lives with two active children.

    Also, physical attraction is still an important part of our relationship and that would suffer if she wasn't in shape.

    Incidentally she holds me to the same standards and I love her for it ;)
  • FatMoojor
    FatMoojor Posts: 483 Member
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    AlanahBeez wrote: »
    These are awesome answers and I love them! :) I hate to go down this route.. But I'm also wondering as far as sexual attraction as well? I mean, doesn't it help to actually be attracted to the one your with??

    Sexual attraction really isn't just down to how they look and probably stopped being a big thing the moment anyone stopped having one night stands where that was all you cared about.

    How big or small someone is doesn't make them any less or more attractive. Sadly that view is something which is pushed on women from womens magazines which haven't bothered to ever speak to a bloke about this.

    Doesn't matter if you have the body of a "goddess" if you are miserable, mean, bitchy etc then you are far less "attractive" than a "plus size" women who is kind, funny, etc.
  • Scamd83
    Scamd83 Posts: 808 Member
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    There is quite a bit of importance in attraction, and I say that as someone who is slim but has a rather mundane face. More importantly from a health perspective I think it helps if someone thinks enough of themselves to be reasonably healthy because if they like themselves that much, others will like them too. Also depends on someone's attitude as well. I've perused various dating websites and been rather taken aback at some people who seem to demand the perfect physique from someone whilst not exactly being all that great a shape themselves. Practice what you preach basically, you want someone who's 'beach ready', better be beach ready yourself.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    AlanahBeez wrote: »
    So on a scale of 1-10, how important is it in your opinion for your significant other to be in shape? Explain?
    (This has never been a personal problem for me, But I know men are visual creatures and I'm just curious how much it actually matters, HONESTLY)

    To be in shape? 10. Note that I never said "skinny" or "thin" or whatever...I am not physically attracted to "skinny"...I am physically attracted to an athletic build and also to athletic ability among other things. Aesthetically, I like women with some muscle and being physically fit is important to me because most of my hobbies involve a pretty good deal of physical activity and I would obviously want to share those with my SO.

    My wife and I frequently go on long bike rides as a date...we like to go running together...we like to participate in various cycling and running events together....we like hiking steep mountains with big packs on our backs and camping out for a week, etc, etc, etc.

    If she wasn't physically fit, we wouldn't be able to do any of that together which means we wouldn't really have much in common. I've dated women who just want to sit around watching movies and whatnot, and it's boring as *kitten*.

  • StencilChild
    StencilChild Posts: 60 Member
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    AlanahBeez wrote: »
    These are awesome answers and I love them! :) I hate to go down this route.. But I'm also wondering as far as sexual attraction as well? I mean, doesn't it help to actually be attracted to the one your with??

    Of course physical attraction is important. Unless you meet someone over the internet...the appearance is the first thing you notice. But physical attraction and beauty is all in the eyes of the beholder. People who weigh 400lbs find love all the time. I'm not the best looking guy by any means, nor do I have the physique of a Greek god...but I have landed myself a few hotties in my day just by being myself. In the same token, I have talked to a few absolutely stunning women, and after 5 minutes of talking to them, I noticed that they really are just unattractive. Funny how that works.
  • Laurasparkle90
    Laurasparkle90 Posts: 29 Member
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    Not a man but just my two pennies worth :) I used to be much thinner than I am now but I was also bulimic so miserable and had no confidence despite thinking I was in the best shape I'd ever been in. My partner has been with me from my biggest to my smallest and now inbetween, and he said he finds me most attractive in THAT way when I'm more confident and happy (and have a bigger bum ha!) So to sum up, not when I was my smallest.
  • WhoDeyMa
    WhoDeyMa Posts: 7 Member
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    *kitten*. Where are you guys all located and where isn't there any in my area? I've been a single mom for way too long.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    AlanahBeez wrote: »
    These are awesome answers and I love them! :) I hate to go down this route.. But I'm also wondering as far as sexual attraction as well? I mean, doesn't it help to actually be attracted to the one your with??

    There is a lot that goes into attraction...I've dated women who were stunning on the surface...but underneath they were very shallow with little to no personality...kind of bitchy...not particularly smart, etc...yeah, they looked great, but ultimately I wasn't attracted for various other reasons.

    Where attraction is concerned, there's a whole package of things that have to come together, including the physical. To that end, men are individuals are going to have individual preferences. I, for example, prefer an athletic, physical build...by best friend likes his women very small with no curves...another buddy of mine physically prefers women who are not too large but not too small and "fluffy" as he likes to call them...we're individuals with individual preferences.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    retrdartist wrote: »
    I am not a man but ,,, the opinion you have of yourself is the most important..... if someone is concerned about how you LOOK,,,,, keep looking , girl.... If someone who cares about you is concerned for your health ,, that is another matter... set your standards on how you are going to let other people judge you....

    I think she's looking more at having a common interest in health and fitness with a partner, not that she is being judged on her looks.
  • elaineamj
    elaineamj Posts: 347 Member
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    My husband is the most amazing man on earth and the best husband to me. And yet, contrary to much popular thought that good husbands don't think this way, he has admitted to me that it is important to him. It's not a make or break type of thing (we had some honest discussions about that) - but it does matter to him.

    That said, even though I love him madly, I could not consistently lose weight until I was ready for it myself. He's quietly thrilled :)
  • ChicagoCalifornian
    ChicagoCalifornian Posts: 39 Member
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    6.5 I want to have the attraction and also be able to do outdoor activities with me. Personality is more important to me though.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    retrdartist wrote: »
    I am not a man but ,,, the opinion you have of yourself is the most important..... if someone is concerned about how you LOOK,,,,, keep looking , girl.... If someone who cares about you is concerned for your health ,, that is another matter... set your standards on how you are going to let other people judge you....

    Being in shape doesn't have so much to do with looks as it does physically being able to do certain things that require a particular level of fitness. It's possible to be physically fit and in shape, but also to be overweight.

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