Gaining 10-20 lbs per year

bigblueeyes1 · February 2016

I've done the calculations. And since a bad break up 5 years ago, I have been gaining anywhere from 10 - 20 lbs per year. Since November I've already gained 10 lbs. This trend that I've been on is scary and not at all what I want it to be. Medically nothing is wrong. I feel that I cannot control how much I eat. From reading all the success posts I believe the Calories In Calories Out motto so I do not necessary believe it is WHAT I'm eating. It's how MUCH I'm eating. Let me tell you, for being only 5'2, I can put food away. Often times I feel guilty afterwards because of how much I eat. Or I'm sitting there feeling so full I can't move and think "Why did I eat that 3rd helping?"

I'm really starting to feel hopeless. I know all the tricks. If you are "hungry" drink a glass of water first. Before going back for seconds, get up and walk away. That's easier said than done. I've done WW at least 4 times, I've done a Biggest Loser program 3 times. I know what I need to do. But when I start eating it's like all that knowledge just goes out the window.

I'm tired of hearing myself complain about my weight and I'm sure other people are tired of it too. Because really, if I'm this miserable and unhappy why wouldn't I just do what I need to do? I can't pull myself out of this rut I'm in but I know if I keep going I will be 300, 400, 500 lbs before I know it.

This is more of venting session that anything because like I said above, I know what I need to do. I just don't know how to WANT to do it. And more importantly how to stop myself from overeating when something is just so darn good.

ShrinkingScientist · February 2016

I completely understand! One of the ways that I use to stop myself from over-eating is to measure out a portion, then put the rest away. If I really want more when I'm done, I wait 30 minutes. If I still want it, I let myself have it, but I find I usually don't want it anymore. Feel free to add me as a friend.

Mrmiller0422 · February 2016

I understand what your saying it gets Frustrating But found out for me when I get up at 5 am and my fiance and I go on a 2 mile walk drink a glass of water before we walk I have to Force myself to eat the rest of the day now that's just me you can add me as a friend

retrdartist · February 2016

I struggle daily and have been up and down... bottom line is ,,, it is our choice.....I find I do better if I journal , MFP,
portion control, PLAN AHEAD... I even put my meals into FP before I go to work.... that way I know what I can do for the day and if something comes up ( say co-workers want to go out for lunch) I have an idea what I can eat/drink.... some days I do great ,,, some days I stink... but the next meal is another opportunity to make better choices... stay totally away from things you can not handle... find the key to what makes you want certain foods. for me coffee makes me want sugars.... so I drink hot teas.. dont give up on YOU ..... You are important...

retrdartist · February 2016

you may friend me if you want

secretlobster · February 2016

It sounds as though your breakup caused you to start eating to cope with stress/depression, and you've built on bad habits since then. This is common for a lot of people. You're right, it's hard to overcome, and it's all easier said than done. Just because the solution is simple doesn't mean it's easy. I found personally that holding onto feelings of guilt and shaming myself only made me feel more hopeless and less determined to succeed. Even after I lost a lot of weight, I still didn't want to do it, but it definitely gets easier to find motivation when you've been at it for a while. Day 1 is difficult, day 2 is almost impossible, day 45 is a breeze. Even still, it's ok to rant and to be angry about it sometimes. Maybe use that anger to fuel a workout? Anyway, I hope you find the right way forward through this and remember that your beauty and worth aren't defined by your weight xx

6502programmer · February 2016

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

This is more of venting session that anything because like I said above, I know what I need to do. I just don't know how to WANT to do it. And more importantly how to stop myself from overeating when something is just so darn good.

So I'm curious.. What do you think you need to do? Hear me out. This is a deceptively simple question that opens the door to where you start.

bigblueeyes1 · February 2016

6502programmer wrote: »

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

This is more of venting session that anything because like I said above, I know what I need to do. I just don't know how to WANT to do it. And more importantly how to stop myself from overeating when something is just so darn good.

So I'm curious.. What do you think you need to do? Hear me out. This is a deceptively simple question that opens the door to where you start.

Good question. I need to:
-Eat the proper portion sizes
-Eat out less
-Exercise (I know this isn't necessary to lose weight, but it would help with loose skin and make me healthier)
-Eat less sugary foods
-Drink more water
-Somehow keep myself busy after I already had a helping of something (in the correct portion size)
-Plan my meals

6502programmer · February 2016

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

Good question. I need to:
-Eat the proper portion sizes
-Eat out less
-Exercise (I know this isn't necessary to lose weight, but it would help with loose skin and make me healthier)
-Eat less sugary foods
-Drink more water
-Somehow keep myself busy after I already had a helping of something (in the correct portion size)
-Plan my meals

So these are all good things, but they ignore what you NEED to do. There's only one thing you need to do: Create a caloric deficit. That is, you need to eat fewer calories than you burn. Portion sizes are important, but only to create the deficit. Eating out is only a problem if you make it one. You can eat properly almost everywhere. Exercise helps create the deficit that lets you eat more. Reducing sugary foods will allow you to devote more of your food intake to things that leave you fuller longer or are more nutritionally dense, should you so choose. Upping water intake will help increase feeling full, but it's not a long-lasting effect. It's good, but not important. Keeping yourself "busy" is not necessarily going to help. Try to eat the right combination of foods so that you enjoy what you eat, you get proper nutrition, and you feel satisfied. This way, you don't feel the need to occupy yourself. Planning meals is good, but is always subject to deviation based on many external factors.

What you need to do is eat less than you burn. You know this by logging everything accurately. You log everything accurately by weighing what you can, measuring what you can't, and accurately and honestly estimating the rest. Everything else is just tools to accomplish this task.

To your point of how to want it, that's where dedication comes in. Would you rather lose weight or would you rather eat twice as much cake as you should? Would you rather potentially live longer or do you need to have that third martini? Those are questions I ask myself all the time, and for me, I'd rather make the right choice more often than not. Don't think that you have to deny temptation. Invariably, you can allow yourself nearly any indulgence, just not necessarily as much as you may want. For me, I look at it as need versus want. I need to keep losing weight. I want to eat ice cream and drink like a fish. I need to eat a well-rounded diet that is a nutritionally complete. I want to enjoy all of the foods I eat. I need to sustain a deficit to lose weight. I want to eat more pizza than salad. When you frame it as need versus want, it becomes much easier to be consistent in the proper choices.

ElizabethOakes2 · February 2016

Having been where you are, I'm going to say start small!
Don't try to change everything at once. Start by just recording and logging everything you eat into MyFitnessPal. Then, after a week, go use one of the BMR/TDEE calculators to figure out what your maintenance calorie intake is, and start reducing your total intake by 100 calories. I did 100 a day calorie reduction per week, but some people are fine with cutting faster, or more slowly. Let your body get used to eating less gradually by cutting things out gradually until you're at your ideal weight-loss intake.
If you try to suddenly jump from 2500 calories a day to 1500, you're going to be ravenously hungry and you won't want to keep going.

Start exercise with walking. Short walks, even three ten minute walks a day, or twenty minute walks once a day. Too many of us when we're first starting out jump in, race to the gym, do 20 sets of everything and run on the treadmill for half an hour and the next day, we wake up unable to move, with sprained ankles and sore knees, and our backs locked up. Walk first, walk further, walk faster, then start adding some yoga, pilates, dance classes, elliptical, weights- whatever floats your boat, but go slowly and be patient with yourself.

You CAN do this! And it's not a question of want- You know you WANT to. Don't hurt yourself trying to do it all at once- It took years to put this weight on, and it will take years to take it off. If you'd told me six months ago that I would be 2 pounds away from my pre-spinal surgery weight today? I'd have laughed and said, "No way." But I'm there, and it was small steps that took me there. You can get there, too!

bigblueeyes1 · February 2016

ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »

Having been where you are, I'm going to say start small!
Don't try to change everything at once. Start by just recording and logging everything you eat into MyFitnessPal. Then, after a week, go use one of the BMR/TDEE calculators to figure out what your maintenance calorie intake is, and start reducing your total intake by 100 calories. I did 100 a day calorie reduction per week, but some people are fine with cutting faster, or more slowly. Let your body get used to eating less gradually by cutting things out gradually until you're at your ideal weight-loss intake.
If you try to suddenly jump from 2500 calories a day to 1500, you're going to be ravenously hungry and you won't want to keep going.

Start exercise with walking. Short walks, even three ten minute walks a day, or twenty minute walks once a day. Too many of us when we're first starting out jump in, race to the gym, do 20 sets of everything and run on the treadmill for half an hour and the next day, we wake up unable to move, with sprained ankles and sore knees, and our backs locked up. Walk first, walk further, walk faster, then start adding some yoga, pilates, dance classes, elliptical, weights- whatever floats your boat, but go slowly and be patient with yourself.

You CAN do this! And it's not a question of want- You know you WANT to. Don't hurt yourself trying to do it all at once- It took years to put this weight on, and it will take years to take it off. If you'd told me six months ago that I would be 2 pounds away from my pre-spinal surgery weight today? I'd have laughed and said, "No way." But I'm there, and it was small steps that took me there. You can get there, too!

My friend...I like the way you think! I never thought to reduce my calories slowly. I just always had the assumption that when you finally make the decision to lose weight, you need to immediately start at what your calories SHOULD be (mine is 1200 according to MFP). I am going to try your method and see if that helps. Maybe I was just taking on more than I could chew. I'd prefer to lose the weight slowly anyway so I can try to avoid loose skin and so that I will (hopefully) be more prone to keeping the weight off. Thank you for all the good advice and tips!

bigblueeyes1 · February 2016

6502programmer wrote: »

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

Good question. I need to:
-Eat the proper portion sizes
-Eat out less
-Exercise (I know this isn't necessary to lose weight, but it would help with loose skin and make me healthier)
-Eat less sugary foods
-Drink more water
-Somehow keep myself busy after I already had a helping of something (in the correct portion size)
-Plan my meals

So these are all good things, but they ignore what you NEED to do. There's only one thing you need to do: Create a caloric deficit. That is, you need to eat fewer calories than you burn. Portion sizes are important, but only to create the deficit. Eating out is only a problem if you make it one. You can eat properly almost everywhere. Exercise helps create the deficit that lets you eat more. Reducing sugary foods will allow you to devote more of your food intake to things that leave you fuller longer or are more nutritionally dense, should you so choose. Upping water intake will help increase feeling full, but it's not a long-lasting effect. It's good, but not important. Keeping yourself "busy" is not necessarily going to help. Try to eat the right combination of foods so that you enjoy what you eat, you get proper nutrition, and you feel satisfied. This way, you don't feel the need to occupy yourself. Planning meals is good, but is always subject to deviation based on many external factors.

What you need to do is eat less than you burn. You know this by logging everything accurately. You log everything accurately by weighing what you can, measuring what you can't, and accurately and honestly estimating the rest. Everything else is just tools to accomplish this task.

To your point of how to want it, that's where dedication comes in. Would you rather lose weight or would you rather eat twice as much cake as you should? Would you rather potentially live longer or do you need to have that third martini? Those are questions I ask myself all the time, and for me, I'd rather make the right choice more often than not. Don't think that you have to deny temptation. Invariably, you can allow yourself nearly any indulgence, just not necessarily as much as you may want. For me, I look at it as need versus want. I need to keep losing weight. I want to eat ice cream and drink like a fish. I need to eat a well-rounded diet that is a nutritionally complete. I want to enjoy all of the foods I eat. I need to sustain a deficit to lose weight. I want to eat more pizza than salad. When you frame it as need versus want, it becomes much easier to be consistent in the proper choices.

You make some good points. All of what I said still comes down to creating that caloric deficit. Bottom line. I am a bad logger I have to admit. Mostly because most of what I eat I don't know how to track. For example, a lot of times when I go out to eat I am eating a cheesesteak with French fries. And it's from a restaurant that does not have their nutrition facts online nor are they in MFP database. How can I possibly know how many calories are in either of those?! So, because of that, I normally do not log it. I almost feel like I have to eat only foods that either have a barcode or are added in the database. I will try to look at it as a need vs a want and see how that works for me.

becca0211 · February 2016

I am 5'2" as well and have been on the same path as you with gaining weight over the last few years. I think it is very much a matter of calories in calories out. And now with all this excess weight I have to up the calories out. I am going to add you, let's support each other!
PS Planning meals was the biggest help to me in the past when I lost weight.

6502programmer · February 2016

bigblueeyes1 wrote: »

You make some good points. All of what I said still comes down to creating that caloric deficit. Bottom line. I am a bad logger I have to admit. Mostly because most of what I eat I don't know how to track. For example, a lot of times when I go out to eat I am eating a cheesesteak with French fries. And it's from a restaurant that does not have their nutrition facts online nor are they in MFP database. How can I possibly know how many calories are in either of those?! So, because of that, I normally do not log it. I almost feel like I have to eat only foods that either have a barcode or are added in the database. I will try to look at it as a need vs a want and see how that works for me.

You can't know, but you can approximate. You can likely tell the difference between three and six ounces of chicken. If you see that quantity, log it. My normal foods for lunch are not on any menu anywhere, but I have a sense of what's in them, which lets me create appropriate entries for them for most days. Feel free to look at my diary to see how I handle lunches on weekdays, as I buy something most days.

fiddletime · February 2016

I'm 5'2" also. If I want a cheesesteak out I look on MFP and find something that looks reasonable. You can think of the roll, 6 oz of steak, mayo and look them up separately. I look at French fries from a big chain like Appleby's thick cut. At 5'2" just cut the sandwich and fries in half when they serve it and ask for a box. At the beginning of the meal. Once it's off your plate, you'll eat the rest more slowly. Then you have dinner for tomorrow.

You might lose a little at 1300 calories. My maintenance is about 1400. I'm still playing with it. You'll have days when you slip, but this isn't a diet. It's finding a way to eat what you need, without being hungry, and not eliminating any single food. And, if it were easy for any one of us, we wouldn't be using this app.

jmpaterno · February 2016

fiddletime wrote: »

I'm 5'2" also.

You might lose a little at 1300 calories. My maintenance is about 1400.

OP, you may be able to eat more than 1300 (and certainly more than 1200), especially if you have a bit of weight to lose. I'm 5'2" and started at 203, and my goal is 1430 calories a day. Eating at that goal (and, frankly, up to 1600/day some weeks), I've lost 20 pounds in 5 months.(Christmas and the holidays slowed me down.) I tried to eat 1200 at first like you're doing, but it was tricky, and those extra few hundred calories make a BIG difference. Anyway, my point is that if you're having a hard time, don't limit yourself to 1200. Eat to lose a pound or a pound and a half a week. You'll lose more slowly, but you won't lose at all if you over-restrict and then give up.

bacalaway · February 2016

I have been gaining weight regularly too and it is distressing me a lot. Both for the weight I have gained already and the fear of where I will be if I don't STOP! I know menopause means weight gain but I am going to be a little dumpling if I don't stop soon. I need portion control and reduce fats and sugar intake. Here goes to a better, happier me!!

bigblueeyes1 · February 2016

ElizabethOakes2 wrote: »

Having been where you are, I'm going to say start small!
Don't try to change everything at once. Start by just recording and logging everything you eat into MyFitnessPal. Then, after a week, go use one of the BMR/TDEE calculators to figure out what your maintenance calorie intake is, and start reducing your total intake by 100 calories. I did 100 a day calorie reduction per week, but some people are fine with cutting faster, or more slowly. Let your body get used to eating less gradually by cutting things out gradually until you're at your ideal weight-loss intake.
If you try to suddenly jump from 2500 calories a day to 1500, you're going to be ravenously hungry and you won't want to keep going.

Start exercise with walking. Short walks, even three ten minute walks a day, or twenty minute walks once a day. Too many of us when we're first starting out jump in, race to the gym, do 20 sets of everything and run on the treadmill for half an hour and the next day, we wake up unable to move, with sprained ankles and sore knees, and our backs locked up. Walk first, walk further, walk faster, then start adding some yoga, pilates, dance classes, elliptical, weights- whatever floats your boat, but go slowly and be patient with yourself.

You CAN do this! And it's not a question of want- You know you WANT to. Don't hurt yourself trying to do it all at once- It took years to put this weight on, and it will take years to take it off. If you'd told me six months ago that I would be 2 pounds away from my pre-spinal surgery weight today? I'd have laughed and said, "No way." But I'm there, and it was small steps that took me there. You can get there, too!

I wanted to say thank you to you for your advice. This has been really working for me and I feel that something finally "clicked" in my head and I have had my "aha moment". I was probably eating at least 2,000 - 3,000 every day. And I was trying to eat only 1400. That's a big difference and a huge change. So I increased my calories to 1700 and I'm finding that this is exactly what I needed to do all along. I certainly do not plan to keep my calories at this level, but to slowly decrease by 50 calories every few weeks. For me, I need slow, small changes. I'm okay with losing the weight slowly if it means I'm not starving myself and that I'll be able to keep it off in the long run. Thank you again for making things make sense to me.

Really...thanks to everyone for their advice. I take bits and pieces and mold them into something that will hopefully work for me. I finally feel ready to be serious about this.

bigblueeyes1 · May 2017

I'm back...after being away for a year. Update: A year ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I'm happy to report it was a very treatable cancer and she is in remission and will most likely stay there. But that's when it all went down hill. I stopped going to the gym, I stopped worrying about what I was eating. In my mind, I had more important things to worry about than my weight.

I am now 23 lbs heavier than I was a year ago. The most weight I've gained in a year's time, and I keep getting bigger and bigger. There is no motivation to lose weight, no motivation to go to the gym. I fear that I've given up. A friend of mine on FB has lost over 100 lbs (in a year's time) and she continues to lose. I'm jealous, envious, and confused as too how she is doing it. She seems so motivated, so driven. And here I am, drinking a Starbucks mocha that has 470 calories.

To be honest, I'm scared. Scared of what the future holds for me if I can't get myself under control. The trend of gaining 10-20 lbs is still going and now it seems to be more like a steady 20 lbs a year. I am just...lost.

purpleychick · May 2017

I am happy to hear that all is ok with your mom. Now that the scare is over, concentrate on you. You have some good advice above.

I understand about how scary it is to keep seeing the numbers go up. I recently gained 18 pounds in 2 months. I was eating everything in sight and was very lax in my logging. I was out of control.

I went to my doctor and had everything tested because I thought for sure there was something wrong with me. But all my numbers were normal. The problem was me. I am in a new(ish) relationship and he treats me so good. But we're both foodies and love to eat and my sweet tooth had returned something fierce. The 18 pounds was a real wake up call for me.

I finally have my appetite and food logging under control. It's coming off a lot slower than I put it on, but I am happy to say I no longer feel like a fat sausage ready to burst out of my skin.

You can do this. Don't feel lost. Start small. Make goals. Log religiously. Take a walk daily.

Kelleygirl79 · May 2017

Take the emotion out of your eating. This is a MATH problem -- do the calculations. Figure out how much (cal) you can eat to lose weight (not how much you CAN'T EAT!) Choose whatever you want to eat (what you LOVE to eat!) Measure it. Log it.
When you reach that limit every day, plan what you'll eat tomorrow.

When the lightbulb finally went off for me, after 20 years of gaining/losing, turning it into a logical math problem was my key for success. That and the fact that I don't HAVE to exercise to lose weight (although I DO).

For some people, eating roughly the same foods for a couple meals every day-- but being creative on that third meal ---is enough variety to be satisfied. (It certainly is that way for me. I'm 3 years and still going strong. This "method" works for all my traveling and vacationing in maintenance) . Counting the calories of every bite for EVERY meal is just too tedious for me!

Gaining 10-20 lbs per year

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