wrong to ask friend to be bridesmaid over text messsage?

kelseyhere
kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
edited November 22 in Chit-Chat
I woke up to a text from my friend from college, "Good Morning! I've been meaning to visit you all summer to ask you something but still haven't made it. Would you be a bridesmaid this coming February?"

We live two hours away, so I understand that it's a bit of a drive. But she could have at least called! Being a bridesmaid is a huge responsibility, not to mention expensive. I have done it before and vowed I would never do it again because it was such an unpleasant experience dealing with all the drama (this bride has less dramatic friends so I'm not so worried about that). I really love my friend, and want to be there for her, but it just seems so tacky to not even call! Or send a note! She is usually good about these things, always sends written invitations for her kid's birthday parties, so I'm a bit confused why she wouldn't for this.

Am I overthinking this? What would be a nice way to tell her that this is a very tacky way to ask someone for something substantial!

Replies

  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    edited July 2015
    When you're a bride, you get to do things any way you want. If you don't like the way your friend is doing it, politely decline. Otherwise mellow out and don't be so high-maintenance. Your friend has enough to worry about without everyone picking at her for every little thing. She'll get enough of that from her mom, if she's like any other bride in history.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • Steam_Powered_Awesome
    Steam_Powered_Awesome Posts: 301 Member
    My best friend is getting married I'm her maid of honor. I couldn't care less how she asked me to be her moh. Card, text, email, tied to an arrow and shot at me. All that matters is she thought of you for help on her day.
  • rumijs
    rumijs Posts: 218 Member
    I got asked by text by my best friend. Granted, we talked frequently before, but I didn't find it tacky. She was excited and taking to all of her friends at once, so a text was the way she went!
  • karlis87
    karlis87 Posts: 111 Member
    My future sister in law didn't even ask me. I just kind of heard it second hand from my mom. Then she texted us for dress sizes. I was fine with it.
  • beautifulsparkles
    beautifulsparkles Posts: 314 Member
    I would be thrilled to be asked! I will probably never get to be one :-(
  • Expatmommy79
    Expatmommy79 Posts: 940 Member
    edited February 2016
    If you woke up to that text chances are she panicked at night, realized she was running out of time and wanted to ask you so she could go to sleep and rest easy knowing it was done.

    Pick up the phone, express your excitement to being asked and respond either with a yes or no. Then make a plan to figure out what needs to get done.
  • weholditdown
    weholditdown Posts: 23 Member
    You should be happy you got asked, let alone be offended with how she asked you. If it upsets you that much, decline. I personally wouldn't give two hoots.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    I am getting married in October. I'll be an "older bride" at 45 and we're having a relatively small and "no pomp" wedding with fewer than 40 guests. My parents both died in the last couple of years, so I asked a life-long male friend of mine if he would be happy to walk me down the aisle. I texted him because he is difficult to get hold of by way of calling him due to his work. He was delighted to be asked and I never sensed that he was in any way upset that I asked by text.
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