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Is it that your BMI is a little higher than you thought it would be at your size? Or just that you have some ingrained idea of how much someone your size should weigh?

I'm pretty heavy for my size, I happen to think that's awesome because it likely means I have good proportion of muscle which is a very very good thing. The number on the scale is just a guide, what I see in the mirror and my health is the most important thing.

I've struggled with separating my "scale identity" from my "mirror identity" and my "closet identity"--and deciding which one to listen to. I think they all tell some truth, but they all lie to me, too. But I've come to trust the mirror and the closet more than the scale when it comes to how I feel about myself.

The scale still says I'm "overweight", but my closet says I'm 4 sizes smaller than I was 7 months ago, and my mirror says that I've got a waist and damned nice legs, and that I don't look half bad for a 54 year old woman! My mirror does like to smirk and say wicked things about my *kitten* and the bat wings under my arms, though. . .but then my closet jumps in and says, "don't worry-- we can cover those these things up with some clever clothing!" and so I just ignore the mirror and thank the closet for her words of encouragement!

curlyblue21 wrote: »

It's just that whenever people hear that I weigh 10'12 they all react the same and say that I don't look that weight! Which makes me feel like I'm over weight!

Do you think that by saying, "You don't look that weight!" they're saying, "You look like you weigh more!"?

Maybe they think you look like you weigh less, and it's a compliment.

Or maybe you just shouldn't be telling people what you weigh. Other than my doctor, nobody knows what I weigh. This was true when I was at my lowest weight, and my highest. Why do other people need to know?

callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »

its all in muscle mass and how you carry your weight.

i weigh 180 pounds (sorry, i dont do/know the whole stone thing LOLOL). i have friends who are shocked at that, as i am (on average) a size 12 (US), and they assume i weigh around 140/150. I'm 5'1. i have a friend who is the same weight i am, but doesnt understand how i am smaller.

its been my experience that when someone says ' you don't look like you weigh that much' - its a compliment

Yup, usually a compliment. And also coming from the perspective that they really only know their own weight and what that looks like on them. People are generally terrible at eyeballing weights of any kind, whether it's food or people. It's all relative.

I'm 178/12st7 but a UK 12-14/US 8-10, BMI in the upper 29. I'm tightly packed, haha. No-one has ever realised how big I am let alone how heavy. Body shape and body composition are all so different. What you see when you look at yourself and liking it is the most important thing.

I'm 12 stone something and throughout the years my friends have been telling me I don't look my weight... But really perceptions, body size and numbers on the scale have nothing to do with anything. You have to find some way to feel good about yourself, and there likely won't be a perfect scale reading for that.

I also second the not telling people your weight part, too. What does it even matter? I don't know all my friends' weights.