I'm sick of hearing that 180lbs 'wouldn't look right' on me!!

You've got a lovely shape, but yes, with the greatest of respect, you could lose a couple more stone and not look emaciated. I think the people around us just get used to how we look and can't imagine us differently, not to mention that as the average person gets bigger and heavier our general sense of what's a healthy size gets a little bit warped.

Just smile, nod, and continue doing what you intended to do anyway. You look great now and I'm sure you'll look great at 180lbs.

You carry your weight well, but I don't think 180 would be too thin. Obviously BMI was developed for populations rather than individuals but it's still generally a fair guide and once you're near a healthy weight you can use your own good judgement about how you look and feel in yourself!

You're right.

Tell them to jog on.

Besides, if you get to around 180 and start thinking "hmmm, I am a looking thinner than I would prefer" you can do something radical - stop or change your programme. Magic!

I have had similar responses when discussing weight goals (only close friends I don't go about shouting about my weight). I have had the you'll be too skinny or maybe your body just isn't meant to be that weight. Some well-intentioned comments that came out a little sideways. But we know our bodies best and know we are doing the right thing so stay strong!

EvgeniZyntx wrote: »

Then stop sharing your goals...

+1. People don't know how much you weigh if you don't tell them.

To the original post -- are the people telling you this overweight themselves? Are they people who have shown jealousy before? Some people don't want you to succeed at being healthy. Deep down, they like you exactly where you are in terms of confidence, or how it makes them feel ("well I'm not that heavy"). Or they think your life will change when you physically change and leave them in the dust. Unfortunately people can unconsciously sabotage. These can be people who genuinely love you and don't realize it.
It doesn't matter what we say, you need to come to terms you need to lose the weight on your own -- you'll be more likely to succeed, and not let a *kitten* comment make you spiral ("well I didn't think I could do it anyway, it was the people on MFP who thought that")
You can do it! Do it for yourself! And most importantly, you're gorgeous regardless
Take lots of before pics, cause your after pics are gonna blow the nay-sayers out of the water

I'm 5'10 and at my heaviest (apart from when pregnant) I was 178lbs.
No one even realised I'd lost weight until I got to my goal of 158 - part of the curse of being tall, although we may carry the weight pretty well, there's actually no noticeable change for me until I hit around 160.
I'm currently sitting around 164 but looking to drop back down to GW.
A healthy BMI seems like a good goal to me. Yes there are arguments that that's too generic, that it's not a one size fits all policy etc etc but if it works for you as a reasonable and realistic goal then go for it!
As for goal weight, again, it's personal. My shape is totally different to yours and yours will be totally different to the next person. You can change your goals at any time. If you decide you're happy at 190, great. If you want to push to drop an extra 10, well hey, that's great too. It's what makes YOU happy that matters!

I agree, people are just being nice. Sometimes it's hard for people, (including me), to just listen and not feel you have to put a comment or opinion in there, so when you don't know what to say it might not always be the right thing! Main thing is: what is their intention? Is it to be supportive or to knowingly upset you or put you down? Most of the time it is not people's intention to say the wrong thing. Sometimes we are just a little too sensitive because we are maybe sharing a sensitive issue - that's when you need to pick and choose who you confide in if you are specifically wanting the right response :-)

1. Stop caring what no subject matter experts think unless they tell you that you are dangerously over or under weight. 2. What if I insisted that you would only look right without a nose?

Wow, I thought that was just me! My friends are always saying "you don't need to lose weight. You'd look weird skinny" it's so discouraging, even though I know they're trying to help.

Why don't you break it down into stones, then you get lots of "wins" along the way to boost your confidence and sense of achievement and you can evaluate after each stone how you look and if you want to drop another.

Generally I don't share goals about weight or whatever I have going on in the area. When I started I shared my goal weight with a close friend - at 44 years old, 5'2" and 244 lbs. my goals weight that my doctor and come up with was 170. The comment I got from my friend was 'when you get there, you might want to continue losing,' I was honestly crushed. The funny thing is that I got down to 146 and she thought I look ill and way too small, I was honestly happiest around 160 but my goal range is 154- 157, that is going from size 20/22 to 2/4. As hard as it can be, that number on the scale doesn't mean as much as we think. Do what feels and looks right for you - your being happy and comfortable will reflect so much more than anything the scale shows.

bellaa_x0 wrote: »

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

Clearly you need to continue losing weight and gaining muscle.

wow talk about straight-forward? you leave pretty rude responses on SO many threads from what i have seen... maybe you should tone it down a bit.

anyway back to the OP's original topic... don't pay attention to what others think/say! keep going until YOU feel comfortable with your weight/how you look. its YOUR body!

I'm direct. The OP and I are friends, so I suspect that she is aware of this...and that honesty is what she hoping for by posting the thread in the first place.

What's the point of asking questions if we are all just going to lie to each other?

I think you have to know what is right for you... I am 5 7 and have wide hips I want to be at 170/180 for my goal I am at 237
I don't care what bmi says I don't want to be under 160 I have a big head and big feet can you picture me looking like a lollipop lol I know how I looked at 160 don't want to be that...
Anyway bottom line is as long as you are healthy and happy go for it