I'm sick of hearing that 180lbs 'wouldn't look right' on me!!
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I'm assuming that most of the people who are basically telling you to not lose more weight are women. I don't disclose my weight to other women, b/c I don't want the potentially annoying comments: "wow, you weigh THAT much" or "wow, you weigh THAT little."0
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Congrats on the 45 lbs you've lost!!!
Keep chugging away. They'll get used to the new you. You're not aiming for something drastic like the very BOTTOM of the healthy range for your height.
I avoid giving people specifics of what I'm at or aiming for. None of most people's business in my life. They'll either disbelieve my actual weight, or silently judge me for it, neither of which is particularly useful to me. Controlling other people's reactions is an entirely fruitless struggle.
My parents are starting to notice and worry a little but only because I suffered from extremely disordered eating as a teenager. My approach to it now is worlds apart from what I did then, but I understand their concern. I've discovered that by focusing on my increased stamina and ability to do the things I love when talking with them, I have gotten a lot of support instead. Yes, I have to regularly address their concerns.. but that's because they know and love me. I've decided its ok to have people who love me worry about me to some extent. It sure beats not being cared about and no one noticing.
Addendum: I'm not implying there's anything wrong with the bottom of the healthy weight range, for you or anyone else. I mean that there's a lot of difference when you're basically guessing at what a good end weight would be coming from a point of being severely overweight. Aiming for the top of the healthy weight range is a fairly conservative approach.0 -
Most people are really bad at visualizing what 50 pounds lost would actually look like on someone.
That being said, there is no reason to go into that much detail. If someone says to me "yeah, I have another 50 pounds to lose" there is really no other polite response than "no way do you need to lose that much!"0 -
It's your body and you know what's healthy for you. You're completely right.0
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Who the hell tells you this? What a crock.
Prove 'em wrong girl!!!0 -
Perhaps I read wrong, but how tall are you?0
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »azulvioleta6 wrote: »Clearly you need to continue losing weight and gaining muscle.
wow talk about straight-forward? you leave pretty rude responses on SO many threads from what i have seen... maybe you should tone it down a bit.
anyway back to the OP's original topic... don't pay attention to what others think/say! keep going until YOU feel comfortable with your weight/how you look. its YOUR body!
I'm direct. The OP and I are friends, so I suspect that she is aware of this...and that honesty is what she hoping for by posting the thread in the first place.
What's the point of asking questions if we are all just going to lie to each other?
@azulvioleta6 - I agree, I didn't want a cushy response, I wanted a reaffirmation of what I already know, that I've come a long way but that I've still got a long way to go
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Thank you for all the responses guys.
Just FYI, I don't go round shouting my goals to people but I was talking to family about a holiday that we're going on next year and said 'oh, by then I'll hopefully be near my goal weight". The holiday is in July next year and they said something along the lines of "you'll have got to it way before then" and then I just said that if I lose around 1 - 1.5lbs per week I'll just about get to it and from there, it was kind of implied that I wanted to lose around 4/5 stone.......hence, the lecture about being realistic and that that weight wouldn't look right etc, etc, etc - I don't go round like 'guess what guys, I'm going to lose 5 stone' lol!!
Oh, and I'm 5' 11 - 6 ft - I shrink and grow on different days
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@yesimpson - Thank you. I love the 'with the greatest of respect' - I basically want the response of 'yes, you are fat enough to lose 4-5 stone'!!! haha
Thank you for the advice, I've just heard it so many times and each time its 'its a healthy BMI' and then you get the whole BMI's are rubbish response and its a spiral from there really!!
Yes you're fat enough to lose 4-5 stone
(So was I and nobody would believe it either)
@rabbitjb Thank you * I think * haha 0 -
@yesimpson - Thank you. I love the 'with the greatest of respect' - I basically want the response of 'yes, you are fat enough to lose 4-5 stone'!!! haha
Thank you for the advice, I've just heard it so many times and each time its 'its a healthy BMI' and then you get the whole BMI's are rubbish response and its a spiral from there really!!
You do have a good shape and nothing looks out of proportion, but yes, you should lose the weight you are trying to lose. Either people are trying to be polite and make sure you understand you do not look ugly, or their perception of what is normal is very biased. I have no idea if you should set as goal 190 or 180 or 160, but you will have to get there and see. Aiming for a healthy BMI sounds like a very reasonable plan.0 -
Are you achieving your goal for you or others? Just take a look at your own progress picture wow, if you want an even better responses, you should lose more, if your happy stop. To be honest when I was really losing, people kept saying to me, don't lose anymore you'll be ill, I was only just in my healthy BMI I set my goal for me and I did it for me. My advise, do it for you when your happy then stop. 0
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Damn, lady! You have a lovely body. But yes, you can totally lose more weight. If I were you, I'd go for a nice solid BMI of 25.0
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »Clearly you need to continue losing weight and gaining muscle.
Just ignore all of the opinions and stop when it feels right for you.
It might be time to bring information train into the station. Nobody besides you really needs to know your specific goals.
THIS^^^0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »Clearly you need to continue losing weight and gaining muscle.
Just ignore all of the opinions and stop when it feels right for you.
It might be time to bring information train into the station. Nobody besides you really needs to know your specific goals.
THIS^^^Thank you for all the responses guys.
Just FYI, I don't go round shouting my goals to people but I was talking to family about a holiday that we're going on next year and said 'oh, by then I'll hopefully be near my goal weight". The holiday is in July next year and they said something along the lines of "you'll have got to it way before then" and then I just said that if I lose around 1 - 1.5lbs per week I'll just about get to it and from there, it was kind of implied that I wanted to lose around 4/5 stone.......hence, the lecture about being realistic and that that weight wouldn't look right etc, etc, etc - I don't go round like 'guess what guys, I'm going to lose 5 stone' lol!!
Oh, and I'm 5' 11 - 6 ft - I shrink and grow on different days
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Maybe pick a body fat percentage goal instead so you can share that with people. Most people don't know enough about that to contradict you.0
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It sounds perfectly reasonable and healthy.
I'm a touch over 6' and 180 is my ultimate goal. I can get to 165 as my absolute lowest but that makes me extremely skinny on my large frame and I'd rather retain more muscle - plus I've had 3 kids since the last time I was under 180 lol. I can be as high as 250 wearing a size 16 or 18 and people think I don't need to lose much. 250 is obese even if I do carry it somewhat well.
Only you guys on this site know my number I'm aiming for. When I'm asked in person I tell them something vague about ease of clothes shopping or fitting better in a roller coaster (lol can't wait).0 -
People tell me that I don't need to lose weight all the time. I tell them that while I do look awesome in work clothes, I also want to look good naked. They tend to stop at that point. 0
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The only goal I've shared outside of my doctor's office is this one: I want to feel confident in a bikini for the first time in 30 years!
Boom. That's my goal. People will agree or smile or laugh, doesn't matter. It's what I want and what I will do for me.0 -
I think taller people are harder to visualize losing weight, sometimes. I look at the picture and think "huh, I'm surprised you have that much to lose". But you are tall! Oh yah! So, ok, that makes more sense. Lose 30 lbs, and I am sure it will be apparent whether you have more to lose.0
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The best thing to keep in mind here is that people are almost undoubtedly attempting to compliment you by saying this. The notion that they are actively trying to criticize your fitness goals probably doesn't even occur to them. It could be interpreted as, "you look good, it's surprising to me that you feel like you have that much work to do!" But ironically, getting this impression in the first place likely means they are just seeing the impact you've already made and trying to make you feel good about it. Might be counterintuitive, but try to take these kinds of comments just as incentive to keep doing what you're doing, even if (on the surface) they seem to be telling you it's not necessary.0
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desireebethea wrote: »I think you have to know what is right for you... I am 5 7 and have wide hips I want to be at 170/180 for my goal I am at 237
I don't care what bmi says I don't want to be under 160 I have a big head and big feet can you picture me looking like a lollipop lol I know how I looked at 160 don't want to be that...
Anyway bottom line is as long as you are healthy and happy go for it
I doubt you look like a lollipop at your healthy weight!
However, I did work with a woman who lost a lot of weight after pregnancy. She went back on adderol because she was diagnosed with ADHD however it has a side effect of appetite suppressant so she was sort of abusing it in order to starve herself. Flash forward and she keeps losing weight, possibly getting underweight. At some point after she started to look healthy to me her further weight loss she didn't look like she was getting smaller so much as her head was getting bigger! I didn't tell her that though, but she was definitely down at the lower part of a healthy weight so I don't think most people have anything to worry about.0 -
don't know if this helps... but I am 6'1" and am currently 165-168ish pounds
This is what I look like at that weight. Not saying you'd look like me at the same weight, but I think it's safe to say that 185 is not dangerously thin.
It's hard for your friends / family to picture you as anything but what you are now. They'll struggle as you lose weight because your face will change, your shape will change. The person they attach all these wonderful emotions to is changing. There's a natural resistance to change built in to all of us.
They will get used to it. So will you. But the faster you drop the weight, the harder the change will be on all of you. (This is why so many have a hard time accepting their new body - their mind often still thinks they're fat).0 -
I dunno, I think maybe you should just ask again at 200.0
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This made me think... I have a friend, who I love to bits. She needs to loose even more than you. Though I never heard from her that she's doing anything constructive about it. So naturally, when we late eat pizza and polish it with wine, and she starts hating herself, I say that she's fine and it's ok to be her - whether like now or if she really decide to work on losing weight that's cool too. But not obligatory. Because I truly care about her self-esteem at first place, and want her to be happy now, not after losing X pounds or whatever. And I don't want to partonize her and push into dieting, because that's mean and won't work anyway. After reading your post I guess she might think I don't want her to be healthy?.. That's sad.
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MireyGal76 wrote: »don't know if this helps... but I am 6'1" and am currently 165-168ish pounds
This is what I look like at that weight. Not saying you'd look like me at the same weight, but I think it's safe to say that 185 is not dangerously thin.
It's hard for your friends / family to picture you as anything but what you are now. They'll struggle as you lose weight because your face will change, your shape will change. The person they attach all these wonderful emotions to is changing. There's a natural resistance to change built in to all of us.
They will get used to it. So will you. But the faster you drop the weight, the harder the change will be on all of you. (This is why so many have a hard time accepting their new body - their mind often still thinks they're fat).
You look amazing - if I look anywhere near as good as that, I'd be happy - not that I will EVER get to 165, 180 is going to be enough of a struggle for me!!
The more I think about it and after what everyone has said on here, I think that they were just trying to be nice rather than criticise and I guess there is nothing wrong with that!! I'm just going to keep chugging away and when I get to 180, they'll see that it looks absolutely fine on me! 
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I think people find it hard to visualise. I know that personally, I was the one saying that anything smaller than about 180 wouldn't look right on me, but now I'm there I can see how much further I have to go (I'm a lot shorter than you). Ignore it, they (and you) won't know how you look at 180 until you get there 0
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I've had this. I also have about 4stone to loose. I've had people commenting on if I go to whatever size or weight then it will be too much.
I have to be comfortable and happy with my body. I am not aiming for a 'twiggy look' (just my preference) but I do want to be fit, healthy and happy. For me my target weight it just a guideline. I may get close to it and decide I don't want to drop anymore weight and just focus on being fit to achieve the other goals I have set myself. I may get to it and decide to go closer to the lower end of my BMi. I have no idea just yet.
Ultimately its no one elses damned business. You do what you need to be happy xxx0 -
You look amazing - if I look anywhere near as good as that, I'd be happy - not that I will EVER get to 165, 180 is going to be enough of a struggle for me!!
The more I think about it and after what everyone has said on here, I think that they were just trying to be nice rather than criticise and I guess there is nothing wrong with that!! I'm just going to keep chugging away and when I get to 180, they'll see that it looks absolutely fine on me!
I agree, @MireyGal76 looks amazing!
I'm glad you came to the realization that people are not trying to diss you by and large. It'll relieve stress from your life I know you can do this!
I had a hard time "seeing" the weight I had to lose, too. If I hadn't been healthy at my goal weight as an adult, I probably would've balked at the 90 lb goal loss I set. But because I had that reference, I knew that the mirror was lying, I had more than 40-50 lbs to lose, and I could do it (Incidentally I'm currently 5'9" but have shrunk several inches due to scoliosis, so ... tall as well, and the weight distributes fairly evenly).
Now I'm down to 190, and I can see the last 15-20 lbs I have to lose pretty clearly. But before it was hard to see changes even in 15-20 lb increments, took a good 30-40 to be noticeably different. It makes sense if you think about volume changes; the taller & larger-framed we are, the more weight we can carry with less difference in volume (percentage-wise).
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