Afraid I won't ever lose weight

Hi guys, it's my first time posting here and I'm ashamed to say that I'm pretty obsessed with my weight. It started last year. I hope you won't mind the length of this and someone can help me out.

Long story short, I had abusive parents who also humiliated my body though I was petite and skinny. At 16, I was 5'1 and 85 lbs (I have a very small frame). I wasn't anorexic but simply never had an appetite because I was constantly dealing with the abuse. I tried to block out what was going on and managed to become comfortable with my body. I ate healthily from the food I was given, and was pretty active.

I went on hormonal birth control that year for debilitating periods and suddenly began gaining weight. My food habits didn't change and I didn't grow; my weight was 96lbs. At 18 I finally left the abuse and with the stress of police and all that was happening, I began eating badly. In 6 months, I hit 125lbs and felt horrible.

Now I'm getting back on my feet, finally, and have been eating healthy as best I can. Due to medical issues I am off birth control. I am at 112lbs now, but I cannot fit into any of the clothes I wore what seems like a short time ago. I look at my body and feel as if it has changed permanently. I don't know if my frame has gotten bigger or my hips got wider, but when I look in the mirror I can't imagine my body going back to how it was. I am trying not to be obsessed with my weight but this is the first time I have been fat. I am terrified.

Please help. I don't know if I'm being crazy or what.