How to reconcile a love of eating with wanting to lose weight.

lulumurray · February 2016

That sounds kinda moronic, I know. But food... has always been one of those things I enjoy. Like reading, art, listening to music. Something that can and should inspire the soul. And I try to eat healthy. More veggies than carbs, only real fats, always something actually naturally bright green on my plate. When I cook (which I also love to do) I try to make it as bright and colorful as possible. "The first bite is with the eyes! "
But I no longer have that amazing metabolism of my youth, where I could eat 2 lunches back to back and still weigh under 100 lbs without trying. The scale up is natural I guess, having been pushing past the 100 lb mark for years... and now (if you believe in BMI) I'm technically obese. For my height and age. But my body, if you look at it, has just become curvy. I've got a thick set of thighs, hips, butt. But they are strong and muscular because I used to play sports that relied heavily on lower body strength.
So I get to my midsection and that's the problem. I could spare to loose a good 15-20lbs there. I've got a belt that I've never seen before and I don't feel as Sexy naked as I used to. Even when the weight started coming on I silk felt I looked better sans clothes than with them (anyways something pinching in the wrong spot). And even if I last that weight, the medical-bots would still say that I'm overweight. I should be no more than say in the mid to low 120s. And to do that I'd have to starve. I'd no longer be capable of doing the things I can do now. I'd also be hysterical from lack of food. I don't do diets. But it's hard to find the energy to exercise. The motivation to do the 15-20 minutes I try to do at least 3 times a week....
Why am I writing this? Because I'm feeling depressed and I don't know where I fit in the normal scale of exercisers. I'm curvy but I don't body shame. Or punish myself by over eating or over exercising. Or feel the need to loose a large amount of weight. But I'm not the skinny girl I used to be that's trying to get fit and muscular. I get depressed because my mind's body image IS of the skinny girl I used to be and I know I can never go back to that. I've grown into a woman and that's not genetically my body shape. So how do I get over that? Accept that I'm not going to stop eating but hopefully not continue to gain weight and possibly change my midsection to match my idea of what I could actually look like?
Food is good and delicious and necessary.
Exercise is fun and boundary pushing and soul enriching.
Depression and body image sucks.

makaryan11 · February 2016

Start with portion control, after you have your food plated, cut it in half, store the rest, eat it in an hour if you are really hungry. Don't drink your calories, think about every bite you put in your mouth. From personal experience, I can have 5 times more food than I need if I am watching TV, on my phone, focusing on food while you eat will help you realize that you are full sooner.

snowflake954 · February 2016

Read the post by shannonmpls-maintaining after 3 yrs (do a search). She hits this better than I could. You can still eat very well--just less of it. Instead of volume, go for quality.

lulumurray · February 2016

I will read that post. Thank you.
Portion control isn't the issue. I learned that during the 2 weeks I tried to go on a Jillian Michael's diet. It showed me that I was eating too much per sitting and that lack of food makes me hysterical and angry. Not someone to be around. I've switched to eating small meals throughout the day. And I'm at the 1800-2000 calorie range (if this app is to be believed). And my fitbit tells me I'm over my calorie goals every day (by about 100ish). I know the feeling of full vs just eating cause it's tasty.
I think my problem is mental. I see myself and get angry that I don't look like I used to, or can move like I used to. And it makes me want to curl up in bed and not want to try. That's the hurdle I'm trying to overcome. It's not something in used to feeling. I thought I was good to my body and this it was good to me. It might be an age thing (I'm in my late 30s). I don't know.
Thanks for the responses though! I just don't want to be alone with these feelings.

Lizzy622 · February 2016

Have you tried increasing your volume with low calorie fillers? I add tons of extra celery to my chili and soup so I am eating much more for not too many calories. I have taken many of my favorite recipes, increased the volume and decreased the calories by increasing the low calorie items (Basically vegetables and mushrooms) and decreasing the high calorie items (fat and meat). It takes a little experimentation to get it just right but it is worth the effort.

mila0130 · February 2016

Celery in your chilli? ! I don't know if that's blasphemy or genius! Lol

Annr · February 2016

I think a positive body image can be achieved when you block out what others tell you, what society tells you and just listen to what it is trying to say to you. These are some things I try to do on a daily basis:

-Take the focus off how losing weight is going to make me look, instead I focus on how losing weight can help improve my life.
-That losing weight isn't my key to happiness, and that happiness is the key to losing weight.
-that is will always take pleasure in food, great food that fuels me.
-that the most important ingredient in my food preparation is my MOOD.
-that maybe the journey isn't so much about me becoming anything. Maybe its unbecoming everything that isn't me, so I can be who I am meant to be in the first place.

mandiegold941 · February 2016

You said that exercise is fun and boundary pushing. Have you tried anything new lately? Something completely different? I'm learning to snowboard. And I look like a fool. It's mostly me and 4 year olds, but man, it is exciting. And calorie burning.

kommodevaran · February 2016

I've had to tell myself this - lots of times: If you are eating the same amount of calories as you burn (or have a small deficit if overweight), you are not starving yourself. You aren't going to stop eating, you just have to stop overeating. Quality beats quantity. Less is more. A small amount of delicious food satisfies in a way a large amount of boring food never can. Eating meals instead of grazing has made an enourmous difference for me. Waiting used to make me frustrated. Waiting for a planned meal of foods I have selected myself, just adds to the experience of eating. It sounds strange, very zen, and goes agains everything we have learnt, but it so much better for body and mind.

lorrpb · February 2016

I'm sorry but TLDR. To answer the initial question you reconcile eating yo losing by deciding which you want more. Limiting volume/portions is key, so you can still enjoy the tastes you want to. But in the end, I just had to decide that my health & well being was more important than having a few more pieces of pizza, a candy bar I didn't need, etc. I had to come to grips with the fact that I needed to make some significant & permanent changes. Good luck sweetie & hope you feel better soon.

Vortex88 · February 2016

Simple advice: eat foods you enjoy within a calorie limit that will cause weight loss for you

JanetMMcC · February 2016

You have, from what you say, maybe 15 or 20 lbs to lose. You do NOT NOT NOT have to starve yourself to lose that.
Set MFP for 1/2 lb loss a week. Weigh, measure and log everything you eat and drink. If you just cant stand that, set MFP for maintenance and eat 170 cals less than your daily allottment. Itll take 3 weeks to lose each pound rather than 2, but it's your body, your time, your decision. You can eat everything you love, just less of it.
I've lost 70lbs. After being fat most of my life, I'm maintaining at a weight my doc is happy with. It takes time and attention. I've accepted that I'll measure and log food for the rest of my life. But if a 45-year fattie in her 60s can do it, so can you.

scolaris · February 2016

I agree that maintenance eating is not 'starving' yourself. It's a little tricky but you can master it. And there's no one single way to lose weight. You might be happier losing one pound of mostly fat a month for the next two years. You might be happiest at a BMI of 27 rather than 25. There's no single 'right' answer. I really really really like to eat amazing food. Here are my strategies. They dont need to become yours. But you will need to create some of your own.
1. I make lots of activity my dual passion. (I didnt say work outs. Over training can lead to injury and burn out. We'll talk about that next.) No, I mean active rest. Walking. Leisure cycling. Social dancing. Anytime i associate with foodie indulgence has become paired with this sort of active rest. I love to practice food tourism. Now my food tourism starts with a morning walk or hike and or ends with live music and dancing. Also: activity only counts in the present! I don't really care how active you used to be, and you shouldn't either. Stay in the here and now.
2. Work outs, like meals, can't be skipped. I have weekly HIIT, lifting & mileage goals. I modify for mild injury & clear my calendar for actual illness involving fever etc. Otherwise I treat them like meals and I don't miss them. Energy balances shift as we age, too. I don't try to act & feel twenty again. I know I can't. I'm different now. I make up current routines based on current conditions.
3. If I can enjoy something smaller, I do that. Half a cupcake tastes just the same as all the cupcake to me. One hour later I feel exactly the same. If something smaller makes me sad, I eat it less often. When I enjoy pasta I want a generous serving so I just schedule it less frequently. When I want fried fish there better be chips and a pint right there with it! Make that one a quarterly indulgence.
4. I don't go to the gas station and overfill my tank. That would be stupid, right? Paying for a bunch of gas puddled on the pavement? And unsafe! We've all seen the opening scene in zoolander... LOL. Overeating is sort of like that. I want to eat just enough every day to get up and enjoy all that similar goodness again tomorrow. Maybe not on Thanksgiving or Christmas. But there are so many regular days on the calendar. I like to feel like my eating matched my activities on all the regular days.
5. Pick one treat a day and make as much else regular if possible. Not always possible, but I try.
6. Carry little bags & jars. I've become reacquainted with my little friends leptin and ghrelin. They try to tell me when I'm really hungry and really finished. I just needed to retrain myself to slow down and listen.
7. Balance the cooked with the raw, the fat with the lean, the plain with the fancy. It's a personal aesthetic, but it can be very satisfying and empowering to put in practice. It becomes a discipline of artful discretion and restraint rather than a daily grind of deprivation and shame. Practice, practice, practice.
8. And this: never complain, never explain. Don't make excuses. You own this. Make it personal and beautiful.

How to reconcile a love of eating with wanting to lose weight.

Replies

Categories