Sometimes I feel like there is no point.

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  • MakePeasNotWar
    MakePeasNotWar Posts: 1,329 Member
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    First off, I agree with all the posters urging you to find a way to accept yourself as you are now. Hating your body is a crappy way to live, as you've probably noticed.

    At the same time, know that while you can't magically become a curvy hourglass, you can influence your shape to some degree by training specific muscle groups for growth. Bigger glutes and vastus lateralis muscles (outer thigh) could balance a larger upper body and create some shape. I recommend anything from Bret Contreras to get ideas for lower body hypertrophy. I particularly like this free plan from T-nation, though you may want to modify it if you don't want broader shoulders and upper back.


    https://www.t-nation.com/training/sexy-female-training

    It would take some work, but it can be done. It may or may not be worth the trouble; only you can make that call. Sometimes I find that knowing realistically what it will take to achieve a goal is all I need to realize it's not actually as important to me as I thought it was. Sure I'd like to lose 10 vanity lbs, but since I'm not really willing to do the work to reach or maintain it, I don't give it much thought. If I thought I was powerless to change it, I might spend a lot more energy being resentful or hopeless and fantasizing about how much better life would be if only I could wear size x.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    I'm a pear on toothpicks wearing skis myself. I don't have the ideal body shape and I never will. What I've had to learn to do is accept how I am and learn to work with it. Losing weight helped, even if I still don't have the ideal body type because it helps accept who I am when I look in the mirror. Don't compare yourself to models or anyone else; compare yourself to yourself. I don't look in the mirror and see a failure to look like a famous person. I look in the mirror and see how I look now vs. three years ago and that makes me feel good.

    Focus on losing weight and getting yourself healthier. Add weights so you can tone up, and focus on what you look like now vs. when you started. Take monthly pictures if it helps. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing; this is for you, not anyone else.
  • hopeandtheabsurd
    hopeandtheabsurd Posts: 265 Member
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    I am an apple shape and I agree that it doesn't wear its weight as well as some of the other shapes. I once was told I looked like a blueberry (when wearing a blue sweatshirt). :D

    I will never have a tiny waist and certain styles will just never work for me. BUT...there are still more options when at a healthy weight vs. overweight. I am thinking you did NOT look *genuinely* bad when 10 pounds from your ideal weight--you weren't dressing to accentuate the positives of your less full-apple shape. Go to some higher end stores where they actually have people to help, and find out what kind of styles work best for you as you are losing weight (then you will know what to look for no matter where you go). I had to change the stores I shopped in when I lost weight, because things stopped working for me, and it wasn't a matter of size, they just no longer fit right even at the "right" size. It may take more work than it should, but finding a place with flattering clothes whatever your size/shape is worth it!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
    edited February 2016
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    I've never noticed what fruit shape any woman I've ever been with is...all seem pretty silly to me. I'm chalking this up to yet another weird thing a lot of women tend to torture themselves with...
  • holdenmonty
    holdenmonty Posts: 17 Member
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    It doesn't matter what fruit shape you mostly resemble. It is about what you want for yourself. I have always been called a toothpick growing up and I have wanted to get more muscular but with some mental health stuff that I have been going through that isn't related to my weight or body image I have learned that I need to accept myself for who I am and if I want to get more muscular then I need to do it because I want it for myself. So my focus has changed from trying to get more muscular which hasn't really been working to just getting more fit and healthy.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    I've never noticed what fruit shape any woman I've ever been with is...all seem pretty silly to me. I'm chalking this up to yet another weird thing a lot of women tend to torture themselves with...

    Hourglass shape = Larger chest/breasts and hips, small waist.
    Pear shape = Smaller chest/breasts, larger hips, waist that isn't much more narrow than the hips.
    Apple shape = Larger hips and waist, chest/breast isn't much smaller than the the hips and waist.
    Box shape = Hips and chest area are the same size, waist is very close to the same size.

    Aside from using those terms to define what types of body men like, it's also used when determining what kind of styles look best on a particular body type. Can make it easier to shop for clothing that fits properly.
  • Abby2205
    Abby2205 Posts: 253 Member
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    I second the "dress for your shape" advice. The women from the British What Not To Wear series, Susannah Constantine and Trinny Woodall churned out several books in the 2000's. Look for them in the library. This one:
    http://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/0297844547/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1455913973&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=the+body+shape+bible
    has 13 body types and celebrity examples of each, wearing clothes that are right and wrong for them. So not just an "Apple" type but two or three other types where waist is the same or larger than bust and hips.

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