Dealing with an unmotivated SO?

Keep doing it for yourself, and maybe he'll see you doing it and be more motivated to keep up. Maybe try getting rid of the sugary/sweet snacky stuff for the initial few weeks, that might help if its not easy access.
Or if not then just focus on yourself! It's nice to have the support of a partner doing the same thing, but if you don't thats okay too - you can still do it!.

Continue to prep healthy meals for both of you. Stick to the plan you have created for yourself, support him where you can and do not judge or be harsh with your SO. Any meal or snack on which he cuts down his calories is progress. He may or may not be able to join you in this journey now or ever. If he's good to you and you love him stick by him as being negative or nagging probably won't help and may ruin the relationship.

You can't.

Your SO has to make a choice to do it. You cannot force him to do so.

He will jump in sooner or later. I think once he sees you making changes and perhaps actually getting results that are noticeable, it will be contagious.

I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what the others in my household or life do. I want to lose the weight. I am changing my life to be healthier. I just dealt with a similar situation with my sister and mother at a baby shower I hosted. I refused to eat any of the snacks/food because I brought my own, pre-measured, to enjoy. I just firmly told them no, several times. It may suck to not have support, but you have yourself. That is the majority of the battle. Support yourself and continue to do what you feel is right with your loss. Either he falls in line or he continues to live his life the way he wants.

In the end, you work on yourself and achieve the goals you have. That is a sweet success!

My husband is the same way. I agree with other commenters that you can't force change and to definitely keep focusing on you. However, I want to add... BE PATIENT. Recently my husband has been getting up going to the gym with me 4-5 times a week. I had to check if pigs were flying yet. I don't know what changed his mind, but I think he's inspired by my commitment. I truly believe it gets better. Just keep helping and supporting him where you can and do you! You probably have more influence than you think! You will inspire him!

Fortunately for me, my husband doesn't like to eat a separate meal so when I cook healthy stuff he'll just eat it. It's the same with going out.... if I select a healthier option it's too much trouble for him to eat somewhere else so he eats with me. *shrug* LOL. I don't even feel bad.

My husband is the same way. In addition, he LOVES to cook, but a lot of times he makes cream or butter sauce, heavy pasta meals, etc. They are so good! He also loves to go out to eat so we do that a lot. He also does a lot of take out.

I'm 5'1", 152 (down 10 pounds) and need to keep losing. He's 6'7" and needs to eat a lot (of whatever he wants) and doesn't gain anything so has little interest in doing well. When he does cook, I try to load my plate with half veggies first, then the protein and then the pasta/potatoes etc. In fact, most nights we don't even get a veggie if I don't make it, so I always have to make sure it's part of the plan. I've gotten a lot better about A - not craving the food he eats and B - not complaining when he has the food.

Right now we live almost 7 hours apart because his job had him transferred away. That makes it tough because I am doing so, so well when I am by myself, but on the weekends when we are together a lot of our time revolves around food either cooking and baking together or going out to eat. It really bums him out when I don't want to eat a lot of food or get more drinks or desserts, but we have come to agreements that are making it better. I use to feel guilted into eating/drinking more, so he is not allowed to do that and I am not allowed to complain about how good it smells or stare at it the whole time he is eating because that makes him feel guilty.

He just let me make a MFP account for him just to see where his calories for the day. That jerk ate everything he wanted including a full Chipotle burrito without getting close to his calories. It seemed like a small victory for me, so I am going to try to continue just showing him how easy it is to use MFP and still have what you want. It's hard and we are both still learning how to balance my healthy side.

Not everyone can do a 180* overnight...in fact, most people can't. I'd wager that even not being 100% on plan, he's doing better than he was with things three days ago.

Also, maybe consider that he's going to need more food in general...he's a guy...you're not...he can't have the same plan as you...he can eat a lot more than you and still lose 40 Lbs.

You can't make him want it. You won't be successful if you nag him about it.

What you can do: 1) focus on you. 2) continue to meal prep but don't say anything about his snacking and choices unless he brings it up. 3) occasionally ask if he wants you to do any more to help encourage him.

For example, my husband was tracking cals for a while and lately has not been. When I'm making dinner I'll ask if he wants me to track his cals. (Its easier for the one who puts food on the plate to weigh it.) If he says no, I don't bother. If he says yes, I pay attention to how much of things I give him.

jonesemary1995 wrote: »

My SO and I decided to begin our weightloss journey together. We both want to lose 40 pounds. Its been 3 days and he has fallen off the plan everyday. I've prepped our meals for the week and seem to be the only one actually "in this thing".. He also has been doing unnecessary snacking like on sugary cereals. Or he'll snack at night. He doesn't seem to be taking this seriously. Any advice?

arditarose wrote: »

Why do you have to "deal with him"? He made his own choice. You make yours. If he sees you succeeding perhaps he will follow suit.

100% this. Worry about your diet and exercise, not his

short answer... you can't...
I am in a similar situation... one of my SOs was very gungho at the beginning too... but in the time we have been doing the paleo , he has fallen off the wagon more times than i can count (i have tried to stay consistant...) I have lost 51 pounds and he has lost and gained back about 10... so i just don't nag him about it anymore... I just do me... and he does him... and if he loses the weight great... if not... whatever... I will love him no matter what...

sanfromny wrote: »

Stop prepping his meals. That will show you if he really cares or not. If he asks you why did you stop then that will open an honest conversation. If he doesn't then your answer is there and you continue on for YOU!
Bets wishes

That will go over well. Maybe stop having sex with him too. No way this can go poorly.

My BF sits most of the time, drinks beer like water and plays video games like 10+ hours a day. Eat sugary cereals. PB&J's for breakfast.

I don't.

I don't need him to change for me to change. I just do what I need to do for me. Do that.

RA60172 wrote: »

My husband and I have the same challenge going with similar results. I feel that I'm way more invested than he is. I'm down 20# and he's down 3#.

When it comes down to it, I can't hold myself back because of him, and I don't want to bully him into participating. We have weigh-ins every Monday, and whomever lost the most weight that week is rewarded with the other taking the kids (three under five) out of the house for one hour. I figure he'll start really digging deep once he gets sick of having all three kids out by himself on a weekend. :-)

@jonesemary1995 if you can add a competitive aspect to it that might help motivate him.

jonesemary1995 wrote: »

kristen6350 wrote: »

My BF sits most of the time, drinks beer like water and plays video games like 10+ hours a day. Eat sugary cereals. PB&J's for breakfast.

I don't.

I don't need him to change for me to change. I just do what I need to do for me. Do that.

He wants to change. He tells me all the time. He just isn't putting effort.

Then keep doing your thing. Don't nag him, but don't quit what you need to do for you. Keep prepping healthy meals, don't say anything if he snacks on other things, and let him do his thing. You can't force someone to change; sometimes all you can do is be an example.