The Struggle
Caitlin866
Posts: 28 Member
Eating the right way is definitely the toughest aspect of losing weight for me, working out is fine (even though sometimes it's hard to find the motivation for that) but when it comes to food it's as if I have no control! Today I have portioned things out pretty well and even stopped when I got through with a full portion of food (the tray was 2 servings) and threw it away. Right after that however I reached for some chocolate... an accomplishment and a failure all in one!
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Same here. Chocolate is my Achilles heal. Well... Sugar is really. Don't get too discouraged! If it's what your body craves then having one piece a day should just be apart of your plan! And chocolate possesses a lot of good qualities like calcium, protein, iron. Don't let yourself get too discouraged!0
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Thank you, I needed that! Didn't help that I went to dinner and scarfed down an entire order of fries with my cheeseburger... I immediately regretted it of course but I need to realize the consequences before the actions and that's where I continuously fail!0
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So bargain with yourself. I do it all the time. I know and have accepted that I can't have all the fries, cheeseburgers, and chocolate that I want. So I may eat a cheeseburger and forego the fries. Or have fries with a low cal salad. Or have a small piece of chocolate anyway. Work out your calories for the day to see what fits. The food won't disappear or run away if you don't eat it, as there is always tommorow
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Nothing tastes as good as being healthy/skinny feels0
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Lolno.dianedemoss08 wrote: »Nothing tastes as good as being healthy/skinny feels0 -
Yep. Trigger foods...chocolate....nuts....mmmmm....0
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Eating the right way should not be the toughest part of losing weight or the weight loss will not last. The reason why the vast majority of diets fail is that dieters ultimately succumb to cravings. Any diet plan that does not eliminate cravings first is ultimately doomed to fail.
Where are you having the most trouble? Being hungry Adhering to a certain level of intake (e.g. some daily caloric goal, some daily limit on carbs or fat, etc.)? Avoiding certain "bad foods"?0 -
Thanks guys, I just don't know what to do anymore really. It's like a part of my brain shuts down whenever there is bad food around and as if all my goals and hard work are not important anymore right until AFTER I eat the horrible food and then I hate myself and the decisions I had made. I want to succeed and feel great about my body and my accomplishments. I need a new focus or tactic... I know sugar is a real problem for me!
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giantwisdom wrote: »Eating the right way should not be the toughest part of losing weight or the weight loss will not last. The reason why the vast majority of diets fail is that dieters ultimately succumb to cravings. Any diet plan that does not eliminate cravings first is ultimately doomed to fail.
Where are you having the most trouble? Being hungry Adhering to a certain level of intake (e.g. some daily caloric goal, some daily limit on carbs or fat, etc.)? Avoiding certain "bad foods"?
I second this. If you are struggling with the diet, perhaps you should change your thinking. If you could shift your mindset from "never eat bad things" or "oh no! I failed!" to "try to incorporate healthy things" and "I will strive for doing better every day", it will make a huge difference.
Don't beat yourself up if you have a cheeseburger and fries. Just learn from it! It's okay! One time will not negate everything you have done up to this point! I try to make choices based on sustainability. Can I do this every day? If I can make a small concession towards health, that is progress in my book. A gradual transition to healthier food will be more sustainable than cutting off all indulgent foods. And reward yourself with a small portion of your favorite food: I had a mini reese's piece after lunch for some chocolate.
Basically, don't beat yourself up, focus on eating enough veggies, fruits and whole grains and reward yourself regularly with a small portion of your cravings.
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Caitlin866 wrote: »Thanks guys, I just don't know what to do anymore really. It's like a part of my brain shuts down whenever there is bad food around and as if all my goals and hard work are not important anymore right until AFTER I eat the horrible food and then I hate myself and the decisions I had made. I want to succeed and feel great about my body and my accomplishments. I need a new focus or tactic... I know sugar is a real problem for me!
I am the same way. My willpower is pretty much ZERO most of the time. When I see what I want... I justify it, or just stop thinking entirely until the box/bag/bar/whatever has been consumed. I'm so bad that if I have a box of chocolates or something, sometimes I'll get so frustrated that I just angry-eat it all so it isn't there to tempt me anymore. How is that for logic??
For me, it goes in cycles. I will stay on my scheduled plan for a while and do great. But if I slip even a little (buy some candy or something) it puts me on a downward spiral. So my intention is to never let myself get to that point. I keep reminding myself of how far I've come, and how well I'm doing, and continually tell myself HOW many calories are in those candy boxes at the store. They may be $1 each but to me they are way too expensive calorie-wise because I know I'm gonna eat every darn one of them before it's over.
I do allow myself treats, but I just have to account for the fact that I'm going to continue eating whatever it is as long as I have it, so I make it a rare treat.0 -
I just got a personal trainer myself and he just told me to think of calories like dollars. I have a set amount of dollars a day and do I want to spend 450 dollars on a box of chocolate or 450 on chicken and veggies and a snack and this and that! it truly makes sense... but only after I've stuffed my face and had a second to process my decision!0
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If you drop the good/bad all.or.nothing thinking you will save your sanity.
That's absolutely the most empowering thing I've learned here. I can lose weight no matter what I eat. Boom. Food has lost its power!0 -
If I had to lose weight by cutting out all of the 'bad' stuff I would have given up a long time ago. If I'm craving a hamburger and fries one day, I log them and eat them. On rare occasions I have entire days where I eat nothing but 1500 calories worth of pizza, because it fits, so I can. If I wanted a candy bar I wouldn't agonize over it for days; I just get it (usually the small size so I'm not using so many calories, unless I want to).
That's what is so great about MFP; if you want something, make it fit into your calorie goal and you'll still lose weight! Even if you ate a day's worth of cupcakes. Maybe in that case your stomach wouldn't feel spectacular, haha, but hopefully you get my point. The goal on this system is staying under your calorie goal and meeting certain nutrient goals, not eating like a rabbit 24/7 with no treat breaks ever.
I personally think it would be more unhealthy to have such a negative mindset than to treat yourself sometimes. You shouldn't feel like a horrible person for eating! It builds an awful relationship with food.0 -
Caitlin866 wrote: »I just got a personal trainer myself and he just told me to think of calories like dollars. I have a set amount of dollars a day and do I want to spend 450 dollars on a box of chocolate or 450 on chicken and veggies and a snack and this and that! it truly makes sense... but only after I've stuffed my face and had a second to process my decision!
I don't like that advice. Calories are NOT like dollars, and you do NOT just have a set amount per day to spend. The general gist of the analogy is OK, but not only is the analogy technically incorrect (losing weight isn't just about calories in vs. calories out), but the intent of the advice is misplaced on someone who is having problems with cravings. Getting you to obsess over everything you eat and counting calories is not the right approach, in my opinion, until you have conquered your cravings.
As I stated before, eliminate cravings first. Everything else comes later.
Incidentally, exercise is obviously very healthy and helps weight loss, but it should come LAST in a weight loss program. What you eat is going to drive the vast majority of results.
The most concerning thing you've said so far is that sugar is a real problem for you. I would bet that if you cut sugar out of your diet, the weight will fly off like you've never seen it do before.0 -
Yes I absolutely agree! I just have to figure out a way to do some sort of sugar detox and make sure that I don't fall off the wagon or give up on myself. I get so frustrated because I know exactly what I need to do and I know why I need to do it but it's the actually doing it part where I struggle immensely!0
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Caitlin866 wrote: »Yes I absolutely agree! I just have to figure out a way to do some sort of sugar detox and make sure that I don't fall off the wagon or give up on myself. I get so frustrated because I know exactly what I need to do and I know why I need to do it but it's the actually doing it part where I struggle immensely!
Not really. Read the previous responses closely. The people in here have tremendous amount of experience between them. Sugar detoxes don't exist, there is no wagon, and if you knew what you needed to do, you'd do it.
My suggestions: Plan what and where (and when) you are going to eat - lots of people prelog in ther food diary.
Don't surround yourself with temptation all the time. If you want to eat a healthy meal, don't go to McDonald's - cook your own dinner.
Create an eating plan that you would want to stick to forever (just a bit lower on calories right now as you lose weight). If you already eat what you like, how can you "fall off"? Do the same with exercise. All you have to do is keep moving. Exactly how, is not that important. Do stuff you like to do. If you hate running, go for a swim instead.
Make nothing off limit, but don't buy and keep treats around, save them for special occasions. They will taste just as good, if not better, than when you eat them all the time.0 -
Caitlin866 wrote: »Thanks guys, I just don't know what to do anymore really. It's like a part of my brain shuts down whenever there is bad food around and as if all my goals and hard work are not important anymore right until AFTER I eat the horrible food and then I hate myself and the decisions I had made. I want to succeed and feel great about my body and my accomplishments. I need a new focus or tactic... I know sugar is a real problem for me!
Sounds like you are vilifying the food. Some foods are bad and some are good.
First stop beating your self up. All you are doing is increasing your stress level which probably makes you want to eat more.
If you are new at this please try to see this app as a lesson in self discovery. Take a deep breath and realize that you can do this a bit at a time.
Most diets fail because people try to change every thing in their life in one day. They then limp about pushing themselves and berating themselves until they convince themselves that they are not capable of change or sticking to a diet.
Log a couple of days eating as you want. Look at what you have done. Think of what would be the most helpful change you can make. This answer can not start with..... I will never eat______...... mater of fact never should be stricken from your vocabulary.
Maybe instead of subtracting you will add low calorie high fiber foods like vegetables.
Maybe your goal will be increasing your water consumption.
Maybe you would see that you are under your protein goals and you can find some ways to get protein and save other micros for things you really like.
As you can see I am just guessing. Not. These were the start of my weight loss journey. I took a week of too to get comfortable accomplishing the goal before I went to the next.
Some times plan to have your burger and fries. Just fit it into your Macros.
ie protein, fats, carbs, sugars, fiber, ect.
Try moving more. No you don't need to do this all at once either. it can be a short walk around the house that you would not ordinarily do. 2-3 times a day. not much at first but it can grow as you have time.
Remember you want to change the way you eat in a way it is sustainable to you. that way when you get to your goal it will be easier to do maintenance. (I'm just hoping this will be so, I'm not there yet.)0 -
Pre-logging every day in the morning has been working for me. It's a plan, and I like plans. If I eat something I haven't planned, it goes in "Snacks." So far I don't totally understand why I feel the need to eat those unplanned snacks, but boredom/frustration is at the top of the list.
I think there's truth in the idea that completely avoiding high-sugar, high-fat foods for a fixed period of time will reduce cravings for them. That could be a bit of a white-knuckle adventure for a while, but it wouldn't be forever, and the payoff could be worth it.0 -
Caitlin866 wrote: »Yes I absolutely agree! I just have to figure out a way to do some sort of sugar detox and make sure that I don't fall off the wagon or give up on myself. I get so frustrated because I know exactly what I need to do and I know why I need to do it but it's the actually doing it part where I struggle immensely!
Based on your posts it sounds like you may be feeling overly restricted. I agree with the posters above to make sure to start making changes to your intake slowly and incorporating foods that you love in moderation. Out of curiosity, what is your caloric goal for the day? Is it maybe set too aggressively so that you are battling with hunger and/or unable to incorporate treats into your day?0 -
exercise is important. I am not worried about it because that's not where I have an issue. I love being in the gym and the energy it gives me plus feeling great about myself afterward. I do pretty good throughout the week because I have a system and routine in action. I pack what I am going to eat in the morning and have that throughout my work day. I make good choices and log everything in my Fitbit and also have started doing it in MFP again for mostly the support groups! I have recently incorporated water into my diet and although that sounds crazy I have to remind myself to drink liquids at all and water isn't always my go to drink. I go to the store once a week and buy what I'll need for meals and snacks throughout the week for work because it's easier to make a good food decision once a week instead of 3-4 times a week. Where I truly struggle is when it's after work and later in the evening. It's as if my stomach is a bottomless pit and nothing seems to satisfy my apparent hunger. I will get in my car and drive to a gas station for junk food cravings and lose all care for my goals and calories for the day! if I could control the after work aspect and healthy dinner decisions aspect of my life I would see the weight fall off I'm sure! It's terribly hard however.0
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dianedemoss08 wrote: »Nothing tastes as good as being healthy/skinny feels
Yes to the healthy part, but there are many foods that taste better than being skinny feels IMO.
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Caitlin866 wrote: »exercise is important. I am not worried about it because that's not where I have an issue. I love being in the gym and the energy it gives me plus feeling great about myself afterward. I do pretty good throughout the week because I have a system and routine in action. I pack what I am going to eat in the morning and have that throughout my work day. I make good choices and log everything in my Fitbit and also have started doing it in MFP again for mostly the support groups! I have recently incorporated water into my diet and although that sounds crazy I have to remind myself to drink liquids at all and water isn't always my go to drink. I go to the store once a week and buy what I'll need for meals and snacks throughout the week for work because it's easier to make a good food decision once a week instead of 3-4 times a week. Where I truly struggle is when it's after work and later in the evening. It's as if my stomach is a bottomless pit and nothing seems to satisfy my apparent hunger. I will get in my car and drive to a gas station for junk food cravings and lose all care for my goals and calories for the day! if I could control the after work aspect and healthy dinner decisions aspect of my life I would see the weight fall off I'm sure! It's terribly hard however.
It sounds like you're experiencing real hunger from eating at an larger than necessary caloric deficit. What is your current intake/weight loss goals?0 -
I have it set at 1200 but for the last 3 days I've been well over that will 2000-3000 calorie days. I would like to lose my last 30 lbs in a little over 4 months. I lost 50 about a year and a half ago and can't seem to lose anything more0
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Congratulations on your 50 pound loss! At 1200 calories a day I would be STARVING and eat everything in sight, which sounds similar to what you are currently experiencing. Losing the last 30 pounds at a rate of 2 pounds a week is unrealistic, because your body needs fuel. If your body is not being fueled properly it sets you up for a 3000 calorie binge, which then sets you back even further from your goal.
Why not try instead a slower rate of loss (.5 to 1 pound max a week) instead and eat back a good portion of your exercise calories. Yes, it may sound slower on paper, but in the long run you are so much more likely to get to your goal instead of constantly fighting with yourself with the restrict, binge cycle that gets you nowhere.0 -
dianedemoss08 wrote: »Nothing tastes as good as being healthy/skinny feels
oh thats lies LOLOLOL
up your calories. theres likely no reason for you to be so restricted. I'm only 5'1 and lose weight on around 1500 cals/ day.0 -
Caitlin, your issue is extremely common. Based on what you have written, I think you are trying too hard and doing too much, overwhelming your willpower, which ultimately succumbs to your cravings.
Willpower IS a thing. It's not some random concept to be ignored. It is finite and rechargeable. Think of willpower in the same way as you think of glycogen in the body (or gas in the tank). The more you drive your body without feeding it (the more you drive your car without refilling it), the more you will deplete its fuel until you run out. Willpower is the same way. By the end of the day, you simply cannot resist cravings if you have depleted your willpower.
Good weight loss programs do not rely on willpower. They eliminate cravings so that losing weight is no longer about willpower, but rather, about smart food choices.
A few suggestions to consider:- If you truly love exercise, by all means, continue. However, if you are working out primarily to lose weight, consider stopping altogether until your cravings are under control or reducing your exercise level significantly. Note I am NOT suggesting you should not exercise, but exercise is one of the biggest drains of willpower there is. It is taxing on both the body and mind if done too frequently, and it makes you hungrier. Exercise has its place on a weight loss plan, but it should always take a back seat to diet. What you eat is going to drive the vast majority of your weight loss, not how much you move. Again, this is temporary... until your cravings are under control.
- Cravings are caused by hormones, and hormonal volatility is usually driven by diet, sleep, and stress management, in that order. Assuming you are neither ill nor overly stressed or sleep-deprived, the problem is most likely sugar and/or processed carbs (flour and anything that comes in a wrapper, box, or container). The more you eliminate sugar and processed carbs from your diet, the less you'll crave. Try satisfying your sweet tooth with fruit, making that the main, if not only, sweet food in your diet.
- Live a little. Focus on conquering cravings first, not losing weight. The process of losing weight sustainably always starts with conquering cravings. Any weight you lose without doing so will return, usually plus interest as you get older and as your metabolism gets beat up by dieting. Once you have eliminated cravings, then obsess about the details (calorie and macro counting) if you must. However, I would be surprised if you haven't lost a significant amount of weight by the time your cravings are gone even if you haven't watched and logged every bite you eat like a hawk.
Not to sound like a parrot or broken record, but there is an oder to losingn weight "forever":
1. Conquer cravings --> 2. Tweak diet as necessary --> 3. Add exercise as necessary
Doing everything at once is doomed to fail and you will struggle with willpower daily. Make weight loss about smart food choices and NOT about willpower. That's the only way to stay lean sustainably.0 -
You guys have a lot of useful insight. I really do appreciate all of the advice and helpful hints that have been given to me! I'm going to have to try those things and hope to see some results out of it! I am results driven for sure but will have to make adjustments to my plan of action because what I'm doing definitely isn't working!0
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Where I truly struggle is when it's after work and later in the evening. It's as if my stomach is a bottomless pit and nothing seems to satisfy my apparent hunger. I will get in my car and drive to a gas station for junk food cravings and lose all care for my goals and calories for the day! if I could control the after work aspect and healthy dinner decisions aspect of my life I would see the weight fall off I'm sure! It's terribly hard however.
Life is hard and then you die. (sorry, but its horribly true) Your whole life is a series of decisions. Or is someone holding you down, then stuffing you in a car and driving you to where there is food that they then force you to eat? Thats a whole different issue!!
Only you can make the change you seek.
You seem pretty smart - you can see the problem, you recognize that it derails your progress, you understand the mechanics of how you are sabotaging yourself, you feel the guilt and frustration of having succumbed - now you have to figure out a way to break that circuit.
Just look at all the steps you have to take to actually access the food that is causing you so much grief! If I were in your situation, this is what I would have to do - I would have to get dressed again, I would have to put on a parka to go out, I would probably have to shovel the driveway, I would have to be able to locate my keys, I would have to waste time and gas driving to and fro from whatever destination I CHOSE TO GO TO to get the food I was CHOOSING TO EAT, I would be spending money on something that was making me unhappy in the long run and which I could spend on something else that WOULD make me happy - do you see my drift, snowflake?!!!
Ditch the excess for a week and take the money you saved and get something worthwhile that makes you feel good about yourself. Dont keep torturing yourself.Please - you can do this!0 -
Thad a very good point! You're right about it and I'm hoping that I can make a change for the better!0
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If I had to lose weight by cutting out all of the 'bad' stuff I would have given up a long time ago. If I'm craving a hamburger and fries one day, I log them and eat them. On rare occasions I have entire days where I eat nothing but 1500 calories worth of pizza, because it fits, so I can. If I wanted a candy bar I wouldn't agonize over it for days; I just get it (usually the small size so I'm not using so many calories, unless I want to).
That's what is so great about MFP; if you want something, make it fit into your calorie goal and you'll still lose weight! Even if you ate a day's worth of cupcakes. Maybe in that case your stomach wouldn't feel spectacular, haha, but hopefully you get my point. The goal on this system is staying under your calorie goal and meeting certain nutrient goals, not eating like a rabbit 24/7 with no treat breaks ever.
I personally think it would be more unhealthy to have such a negative mindset than to treat yourself sometimes. You shouldn't feel like a horrible person for eating! It builds an awful relationship with food.
So much this.0
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