Women and looks
HungryasFuark
Posts: 463 Member
I hear a lot of women talking about how society objectives them or rate, judges and interact with them about how just they look not about their personality etc while in real life situations a very large percentage of women just really do the same to men if not more . I have experienced this in my life during the period of my transformation from a overweight to a fit person on a daily basis from young and old women in diferrent cultures , countries in the way they look , talk and act ...not just the women i come across while walking down the street also from co workers , college friends who know me as a person they all change and interact more with me in someway ..I know when when ur looks change for the better u seem more approachable but that's just still from the outside..really only few stay the same ..my question is why do u worry and talk so much about something u are already doing ur self to others and expecting a different action ??
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I can see where you are coming from. You hear a lot about how women are affected by media when it comes to body issues but men are subjected to the same thing. I'm not a huge fan of the following YouTuber but he makes some really good points in this video ((((NSFW)))):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oW7Nt5FO1M 0 -
This is an awesomely relevant topic. (I just actually watched that whole youtube clip, whereas I'd normally tune out of that kind of thing after about a minute. I got chills down my spine watching that guy get thrown on the ground by his "girlfriend" and no one did a damn thing...and as soon as he shoved back he got the crap kicked out of him.)
I'm a little (okay, more than a little) obsessed with Adam West's "Batman". (Since the episodes are 22 minutes each, doing yoga/bodyweight exercise in front of the TV is an awesome way to get in a perfect 45 minute workout.) Know what I realized a few weeks ago? Adam West was a doughy, surprisingly uncoordinated Batman. NO ONE would ever hire him today for a role like that. Know what? Who cares? He was still a totally badassamazing piece of awesome (even if Riddler in that green three-piece suit will always be my favorite...).
I'm not knocking the Marvel Universe, etc. (OH MY GOD I love the Marvel Universe), but I do have a certain nostalgia for Adam West's Batman, the live-action TMNT with (let's be honest) chubby dudes in clumsy turtle suits, and the Cary Grant/Alfred Hitchcock version of a superspy, where he only had to look good with his suit on. For men as much as for women, I wish the conversation would be more about your charm and your smile, and less about your abs and your "Big 3" total.
Not to mention that there's something frankly unattractive about anyone as ripped as He-Man...not necessarily aesthetically, but in the "I bet that guy is NO FUN on a date/evening out, since he won't drink beer, can't eat carbs, and smells like Axe bodywash and locker room after his 3 hour lifting session..." sort of way...
/stepsdownfromsoapbox
Edit to fix typos cause I never learned to read...0 -
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It's human nature, and anyone who denies they do it themselves is... well, in denial.
That being said, I would agree that we should all try to be nice to each other and treat each other respectfully, no matter what our "immediate" judgements are of other people.
It's also possible that you carry yourself differently when you are fit/feeling good compared to when you are not, and other people pick up on that and treat you differently.0 -
tbonethemighty wrote: »This is an awesomely relevant topic. (I just actually watched that whole youtube clip, whereas I'd normally tune out of that kind of thing after about a minute. I got chills down my spine watching that guy get thrown on the ground by his "girlfriend" and no one did a damn thing...and as soon as he shoved back he got the crap kicked out of him.)
I'm a little (okay, more than a little) obsessed with Adam West's "Batman". (Since the episodes are 22 minutes each, doing yoga/bodyweight exercise in front of the TV is an awesome way to get in a perfect 45 minute workout.) Know what I realized a few weeks ago? Adam West was a doughy, surprisingly uncoordinated Batman. NO ONE would ever hire him today for a role like that. Know what? Who cares? He was still a totally badassamazing piece of awesome (even if Riddler in that green three-piece suit will always be my favorite...).
I'm not knocking the Marvel Universe, etc. (OH MY GOD I love the Marvel Universe), but I do have a certain nostalgia for Adam West's Batman, the live-action TMNT with (let's be honest) chubby dudes in clumsy turtle suits, and the Cary Grant/Alfred Hitchcock version of a superspy, where he only had to look good with his suit on. For men as much as for women, I wish the conversation would be more about your charm and your smile, and less about your abs and your "Big 3" total.
Not to mention that there's something frankly unattractive about anyone as ripped as He-Man...not necessarily aesthetically, but in the "I bet that guy is NO FUN on a date/evening out, since he won't drink beer, can't eat carbs, and smells like Axe bodywash and locker room after his 3 hour lifting session..." sort of way...
/stepsdownfromsoapbox
Edit to fix typos cause I never learned to read...
Well said. I
this *applaud*
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I don't objectify men or if I do, it isn't in the perceived ways. If he is smart and funny, that goes a helluva a lot further than some buff gym bunny. I dont' mind bellies and if he is trying to lose weight, he gets a nod from me because I know how difficult is. I am a big girl-- always have been. I also get flirted with from married men and I'm married as well. Kindness goes a long way, too. I and my female friends (we are all in early 40s) aren't looking for hot bods. It's more like nice eyes and smiles. The biggest thing is how he treats us. Again, if he can make us laugh, that may just charm our pants right off.0
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sunn_lighter wrote: »i have nothing meaningful to add to this thread so I'm just going to post a picture of this guy:
@sunn_lighter best reply yet!
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tbonethemighty wrote: »This is an awesomely relevant topic. (I just actually watched that whole youtube clip, whereas I'd normally tune out of that kind of thing after about a minute. I got chills down my spine watching that guy get thrown on the ground by his "girlfriend" and no one did a damn thing...and as soon as he shoved back he got the crap kicked out of him.)
I'm a little (okay, more than a little) obsessed with Adam West's "Batman". (Since the episodes are 22 minutes each, doing yoga/bodyweight exercise in front of the TV is an awesome way to get in a perfect 45 minute workout.) Know what I realized a few weeks ago? Adam West was a doughy, surprisingly uncoordinated Batman. NO ONE would ever hire him today for a role like that. Know what? Who cares? He was still a totally badassamazing piece of awesome (even if Riddler in that green three-piece suit will always be my favorite...).
I'm not knocking the Marvel Universe, etc. (OH MY GOD I love the Marvel Universe), but I do have a certain nostalgia for Adam West's Batman, the live-action TMNT with (let's be honest) chubby dudes in clumsy turtle suits, and the Cary Grant/Alfred Hitchcock version of a superspy, where he only had to look good with his suit on. For men as much as for women, I wish the conversation would be more about your charm and your smile, and less about your abs and your "Big 3" total.
Not to mention that there's something frankly unattractive about anyone as ripped as He-Man...not necessarily aesthetically, but in the "I bet that guy is NO FUN on a date/evening out, since he won't drink beer, can't eat carbs, and smells like Axe bodywash and locker room after his 3 hour lifting session..." sort of way...
/stepsdownfromsoapbox
Edit to fix typos cause I never learned to read...
+1000 lol
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
More of this would do the world a great favor but unfortunately the majority are now extremely brainwashed by looks. Don't change that mentality !
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If you look at actors with the biggest transformation it's going to be men. Look at Christian bale in the machinist. He looked scarey skinny then played Batman right after. Name me a female that has gone that kind of transformation. There is none. If there was everyone would be appalled because we can't do that to women but if it's a man who cares right.
This is true for aspects of life. Work. Love. Health. Support. Its all there for women. No one gives a *kitten* about the struggle men go thru. And people think men have no struggles and that's because no one cares to even ask. Out of sight out of mind.0 -
I agree that the body image has gone way out of proportion for both men and women. Funny thing women are often the ones that make other women feel bad about their bodies, not men. Perhaps men do this to other men too.
I also know that you don't have to buy into that kind of crap if you don't want to.
OP I know what you're saying about how people treat you differently.
When I was a teenager, I did not fit in the popular crowd. I got to see how this crowd treated others in my school. When I turned 16, I got a new haircut. Suddenly guys started wanting to talk to me and go on dates with me. One even came up to me and told me he was in love with me. It seemed so nonsensical to me. I mean it was a haircut. And no, I did not change the way I walked or my personality. I stuck to the friends that liked me for who I was.
Sure Hollywood sells objectification in spades for both men and women. It does not mean we have to buy into it. Neither should we use it as an excuse to do nothing.
Love yourself and be your best. Don't forget to enjoy your life. It's the only one you got
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I like when chics objectify me... I'm vein like that0
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Oh, I need another good brow beating about my skin colour and gender and all that privilege that has permitted me to work 80+ hour work weeks and all those wonderful benefits of 6 figure student loans. In.0
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Dominant ideology perpetuates the power of the most powerful race, class, sexual orientation, and gender in a given culture via laws, institutions, cultural practices, and social norms so pervasive and often invisible that people whose interests those norms and practices do not benefit -- who are in fact oppressed by them -- internalize those values and reproduce the very oppressive systems that disempower themselves in their interactions with others. Thus women, for example, might internalize values that objectify and disempower themselves and other women, understanding the world and themselves from a [straight, white, perfectly physically able, wealthy] "male" perspective, or poor people may identify with values and political practices that serve the very wealthy and deny equal rights and opportunities to the poor, voting for candidates whose policies ensure the 1% gets richer while the poor get poorer.0
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When I was fat I acted differently, I was less likely to make eye contact, be the one to start a conversation, and less face it, I was miserable and that's what I projected.
I think a small amount of how I'm treated now has to do with the fact that I'm hot, and a lot to do with the fact that I put out a more approachable, friendly and happy vibe. People are more comfortable with me now.0 -
HungryasFuark wrote: »I hear a lot of women talking about how society objectives them or rate, judges and interact with them about how just they look not about their personality etc while in real life situations a very large percentage of women just really do the same to men if not more . I have experienced this in my life during the period of my transformation from a overweight to a fit person on a daily basis from young and old women in diferrent cultures , countries in the way they look , talk and act ...not just the women i come across while walking down the street also from co workers , college friends who know me as a person they all change and interact more with me in someway ..I know when when ur looks change for the better u seem more approachable but that's just still from the outside..really only few stay the same ..my question is why do u worry and talk so much about something u are already doing ur self to others and expecting a different action ??
Watching the video below and reading this makes kinda irritated. I've never thought of it like this for men. But its all true!! We're all under so much bull *kitten*.0
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