How to cope when a parent dies

I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs. Time, It just takes time.

i know how you feel. i lost my mother when i was 15 when she was only 34, she was my best friend too. it is a very surreal thing to happen, and i can tell you over 7 years later and i still feel like it didn't happen and it destroys me at times. i've dealt with depression even before she passed, but it worsened and has been chronic since everything that has happened. so at times i either feel like not eating at all or i eat too much when i get bored or restless or want a pick me up. healing will never be an end goal, but an on going process. there is really no easy way out of it, and everyone deals with loss differently.

as for eating habits,there will be days when you probably don't want to eat, so maybe buy stuff that is easy to cook & nutritious/filling. even on the days you feel like eating the world & are too fatigued/sad to prepare a meal, it is smart to still have easy to cook & nutritious meals. i try to not buy snack/junky foods, not because i'm against them but because i will sit there and nibble on it mindlessly when i am feeling weird or bored.

the best way to deal with all of this, both weight loss, and the loss of your mom is to try to surround yourself with loved ones & friends who will support you and be there for you. i find that is most important, even when you will want to isolate yourself. you will have to go back out to the world, even little walks can help. there will be times you feel lonely, so very lonely, like no one understands the loss you are currently going through, especially losing a mother. but it does slowly get better, and keeping your goals in mind & finding healthy outlets for your emotions is essential. i find writing to be most therapeutic for me, because i like to write poetry, journal entries and songs because i like to sing. so through song & writing it helps me release all the things i want to say & how i am feeling. and i find talking about my mom A LOT always helps me feel she is near in my heart. i still to this day talk about my mom & think of happy memories of her and keep pictures near me. and it's silly, but sometimes i even imagine her cheering me on as i reach my goals and grow stronger, both physically & emotionally. you'll get through this, and if you ever need anybody to talk to i am here.

Hugs. I lost my mum at age 65 two years ago. My advise is not to think too much, just put one foot infront of the other - take it a day at a time and eventually it will become easier. Love and hugs. X

My mother was diagnosed with end-stage COPD in 2011 and died Dec 2013 (was chain smoker). She spent the last year on 24h oxygen. She was 66. My father didn't deal with it well and got himself a new (and considerably younger) woman within a week of my mother's funeral. This woman cleaned him out financially, resulting in him selling any heirloom of any value so all my mum's history was sold to keep this new "lady" in the lifestyle she had grown accustomed to. By March 2014 he was diagnosed with stage 4 oesophageal cancer (he was also a chain smoker). By May his new woman was gone. He went completely mental and started stalking her and I thought he was going to get himself arrested. Then he "advertised" for a new woman (literally!) and "interviewed his "applicants" (literally!!) and was soon in a new relationship. After a year of palliative chemo he died in July 2015. He was only 68. I don't have any siblings so the responsibility for the funeral and dissolving his household were on me alone. It is when I went through all the papers that I realised how much debt he created for his other women (loans, credit cards etc.) and he also dipped into the funeral insurance, which was there for me to get him buried.

To cut a long and miserable story short, my grieving for my mum was totally disturbed by my father's subsequent behaviour, and rather than grieving, I felt really bloody angry about it all. For 6 months I was just in a complete daze and on a constant rollercoaster of grief and fury. Then I invested in some grief counselling and spent a while talking about what happened, which I found hugely helpful.

OP, this may not be what you want to hear, but I DID gain considerable weight during that time (about 45lb) because I ate what I wanted and was very inactive (i.e. hours and hours of binge watching TV and hiding in the house). BUT... I got out of that eventually and I feel like I'm getting back to normal (whatever that is...) both mentally and physically. But it took a while.

Be kind to yourself.

I'm very sorry for your loss.
It takes time to grieve and cope with a loss of someone important to you.
My mom died a couple of years ago and it was very painful. I was also very close to her so it was a giant hole in my heart and life. I think I cried most days for a year. I felt sadness but also resentment, anger, confusion/frustration as well. I still think of her every day but it doesn't hurt now that time has passed.

It altered relationships with my father and siblings when Mom died and that was a difficult aspect of the loss too.

Talk to someone about what you feel. My dh was a great support for me but there are grief support groups, therapists, friends who have had similar losses, etc who can listen and help you work through your feelings.

I think trying to stick to a routine is helpful but it might not be your old routine. I had to change up what I did because I used to talk to my mom every Sunday morning. I lost interest in some things I used to do too. So life was different. I found listening to music helpful and walking the dog.

It takes time to grieve and heal. Just take one day at a time.

I lost my mum in September 2015. Im 24 and she was 51, she had epilepsy and had a turn and fell down the stairs. It made me angry at first how anyone can fall down the stairs and be ok but she died from a bleed on the brain when it happened. It does get easier to cope with. I had to organise the funeral and all her bank/bills and it was a hard 2 weeks after her death. I have 2 young kids too so was extra hard to manage. It turns out I fell pregnant pretty much the exact time she died (she wanted me to have another baby and that baby to be a girl as I have 2 boys - and it is) My tip is keep busy with life but do grieve. Dont sit and think all day about what happened. Grieve and then carry on with your life. Your mom woulnt want to see her child so upset and down x

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my father when I was a child and my mother as an adult. (also 35, like you) It was swift, sudden and devastating in both cases. The fact that I was 35 didn't make my mother's death any easier to take.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about both of them, but as time goes on it will get easier to cope. Find someone to talk to about how you're feeling and take care of yourself. My mother always took such good care of us and gave up a lot to do so; I told myself that it would be a slap in the face to her if I gave up on myself and didn't strive to take care of myself and have the happy life that she wanted me to have.

(((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry . I don't have any advice for you but still wanted to show you support.

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. No one can ever replace your Mother. Hugs. Be gentle with yourself and know you will get through the grieving process. Try to be around supportive people who will cry or laugh with you and give you whatever you need. Your Mother will always be with you in your heart and memories. I don't know if my steps for emotional eating will help but I try to get out of the house and walk my dog somewhere for hot coffee or tea and listen to music. I take my camera and take pictures of beautiful or interesting things. Sometimes it is hard to take that first step so just make short goals.