Judgment on bigger people
crystalroselynn
Posts: 117 Member
I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
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i hope not, the idea of mfp is for generaly losing weight regardless of how much you need to lose. some people on here have a lot of weight to lose including myself ive lost 40lb but still to lose another 60lb so lets all support each other . good luck0
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Maybe look into some of the groups for people with similar goals as yourself? I have over 100 pounds to lose and I have found everyone to be supportive and motivating. Don't let a bad experience or two ruin your journey.
Feel free to add me as a friend
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Add me if youd like support! I accept anyone fit or not fit. We are all trying to better ourselves! Good luck with your fitness journey!0
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Feel free to add me! I think sometimes everyone is so focused on their own goals and need for support that they may not even think about it
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crystalroselynn wrote: »Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
Well, yeah.
I think the MFP user base reflects a broad cross section of society and sadly some parts of society still hold negative attitudes about people on the way they look, in this case their size.
Pay it no mind.
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feel free to add me, i have loads of weight to lose.0
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I have over 100lbs to lose. And I always feel judged, like people find it gross and don't want to be my friend.
But I have come to realise that it's because that's how I feel about myself. I'm giving off a closed off, unhappy vibe because I feel so desperately unhappy with myself and can't understand why anyone wants to know me. And that pushes people away.
I'm not saying it's the same for everyone, I know bigger people do face a lot of criticism in public etc. But I haven't found any on here, so I hope that's because instances of it are few and far between
Feel free to add me, I could do with some friends who have a lot to lose 0 -
Feel free to add me as well. No matter how much you're trying to lose, it's tough.0
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"I look to a day when people will not be judged by how much they weigh, but by the content of their... content." - Martin Lawrencei haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
You have 105 people on your friends list.
What are you looking for?
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I feel like there is judgment based on how you eat here, but not at how much you weigh when you start your journey. I've gone on and off my journey several times (health reasons making it impossible to work out and giving up) - but the folks I've "met" here have always welcomed me back with open arms and tons of encouragement. Just don't talk about fad diets or counting carbs or clean eating in the forums. People can be downright nasty when you don't do what they say and have a differing opinion on nutrition. That's my $.02 anyway Good luck on your journey! 0
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Feel free to add me as well. Over 100 pounds to lose.0
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I haven't noticed any judgement on bigger people, but then I'm not looking for it. I took the liberty of checking your posting history and can't see any judgement there either. Although this may all seem daunting to you, in time you'll realise (as many of us do!) that the very best advice we get here isn't sugar-coated to cosset us, it's plain-speaking to enable us.
Have a look at the Success Stories board for inspiration, and good luck!
Edited for clarity: I mean 'enable' in the sense of helping us to reach our goals (because that's why we're all here).0 -
crystalroselynn wrote: »I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
Looking at you current loss, and diary history, if many people are like myself, I just don't bother with people just starting out (Less than a month), and don't consistently log.
This is a site where people encourage others to maintain a consistent food log, in a goal to either lose, gain, or maintain weight. If someone cannot or will not do the minimum required for it, I'm not going to bother.
It has little to do with your weight, and everything to do with your discipline.
Basically, if you've not been a member for at least 3 weeks, with 3 weeks of consistent logging, and at least one week of progress towards your goal, I'm not going to accept a friend request from you, or send you one.0 -
Hi, I personally don't judge anyone on their weight, I just have a hard time to understand how someone can manage to become so overweight that there are 50+ kg to lose (no judgement, just a way to understand/fathom the process, if you get what I am saying). I have been "fat" in my own understanding for about 10 years and we are talking about 10-12kg of extra weight. So for a heavy person that needs to lose a lot more, that may be a laughable amount, but for (for lack of a better word) regular people, even that amount of weight is a lot, so it's hard for me to imagine how it would be to have to lose 50+ kgs of weight.
I have been using lifesum for the most time since I was able to better put in my workouts, but I have found out that mfp tracks food way better and the app has a bigger community and webapp and so on and so on. So I am trying to get some friends on the app so I can see other peoples progress and also have an insight of how other people are challenging their weight goals, so feel free to add me.
I am currently on a 65-day streak with mfp and I plan to get to at least a 100 consecutive days
P.S.: I am 1.74m and 77kg currently (5'7 / 171 lb)
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I don't care what you weigh
I like people who do what they need to do
Which includes asking for advice when needed, changing their mindsets when required, putting in the commitment and the work, not making excuses or looking for 'reasons' just doing it day in, day out. Make a mistake, log it and get back on the horse. Overeat? accept it, log it, move on.
Basically I like grown-ups
If you do that - and you pay it forward you'll probably have more people wanting to be on your FL than you can cope with
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I never received any notification about your weight. Not sure how I would of reacted.But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people.0 -
I have found everyone so supportive. I started out this time on January 3rd at 283 pounds. Yesterday I weighed 244. I want to get to 165 ish. You can add me if you want and anyone else can for that matter. I am learning as I go and love to know how to tweek things.Hi, I personally don't judge anyone on their weight, I just have a hard time to understand how someone can manage to become so overweight that there are 50+ kg to lose (no judgement, just a way to understand/fathom the process, if you get what I am saying). I have been "fat" in my own understanding for about 10 years and we are talking about 10-12kg of extra weight. So for a heavy person that needs to lose a lot more, that may be a laughable amount, but for (for lack of a better word) regular people, even that amount of weight is a lot, so it's hard for me to imagine how it would be to have to lose 50+ kgs of weight.
I have been using lifesum for the most time since I was able to better put in my workouts, but I have found out that mfp tracks food way better and the app has a bigger community and webapp and so on and so on. So I am trying to get some friends on the app so I can see other peoples progress and also have an insight of how other people are challenging their weight goals, so feel free to add me.
I am currently on a 65-day streak with mfp and I plan to get to at least a 100 consecutive days
P.S.: I am 1.74m and 77kg currently (5'7 / 171 lb)
Every one has a different reason to getting as big or bigger than I am. Mine started with a life time of poor choices and not understanding how the calories in versus out thing. I wasn't always Fat, even though I thought I was. I got to my smallest right before my first pregnancy. I was 125. I then gained 69 pounds after having him. I couldn't get off the weight and got the where I was between 180 and 195.
I then got pregnant again. I had her I weighed 234. Because of my history with post partum depression I was put on medication to help with that. I ballooned to 268 pounds. I got pregnant with the fourth and when I had him I weighed 284 pounds. I then lost a bunch of weight after having him. I lost 50 pounds. And yeap got pregnant again. I got to my heaviest at 300 pounds. I was mortified. I had her then two months later my Daddy died. I thought I was going to die to. I started eating. Even eating in middle of the night which I never did.
Last year I started my diet again. I weighed 293 when I started. I did well I got to 265 and then my fiancee lost his job and I did what I knew to do which was eat.
Now I know that I can't eat my feelings and binge when things go wrong. IF I do I will be over 500 pounds before I am 50. I have dealt with some bad things since starting two months ago. My sons diagnoses with Autism, my favorite aunt dying, and now my fiance is facing a lay off in two months. Has that made me want to eat. Yes it has. Have I done it. Nope. I want to be skinny again. I want to go and buy cute clothes and look good in them. I just had to get a mind set that I wanted it. And until someone really wants it they wont do it.0 -
Don't let anyone's negativity get in the way of your health and happiness.0
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What's kind of weird is that before losing 95 pounds, I was very negative toward fat people, even though I was fat myself. I actually have a way better attitude on people who are overweight since losing a lot of weight myself, this is something you can change if you want to. You've made a wonderful decision by being here and using the app, I would hope that anyone here has nothing but support and positivity for everyone.
I know that's not the case, but it should be. No one ever got anywhere with helping others by smacking them down.0 -
Just a thought... it is possible that some of the people who don't have as much to lose as you do may not comment on your posts because they don't know what to say. I have over 100 lbs to lose and if I'm completely honest - I have a tendency to avoid many "thinner people posts"... not because I don't like them - but because I can't relate. I have nothing to add to a conversation about "losing the last 10 lbs". I have nothing to add to a conversation about "I've lost 20 lbs and still don't have flat abs". And the fact is that if I focus on the "I am 140 lbs and fatter than I've ever been and feel disgusting" posts - it's detrimental to my success. Let's be honest - conversations more relative to me are.. "Am I going to have a lot of hanging skin?" "How long did it take to lose 100+ lbs?" "Why do my stretchmarks look worse now that I've lost 20 lbs?" THESE are the posts that hold something for me at this point.
We are all on our own journeys. Are there people on here with a bias against fat people? Probably... but that's none of your concern. You do YOU. You keep working on being better today than you were yesterday. And be thankful for the people who are considerate enough not to add to your conversation if they can't relate.0 -
crystalroselynn wrote: »Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
Well, yeah.
I think the MFP user base reflects a broad cross section of society and sadly some parts of society still hold negative attitudes about people on the way they look, in this case their size.
Pay it no mind.
Wait. You're supporting the OP's claim? No one even knows how much she weighs. There was an announcement? Where???lithezebra wrote: »Don't let anyone's negativity get in the way of your health and happiness.
Who's negativity?0 -
Sorry I missed the announcement, OP. (Probably just an issue with MFP's notification system.) Wait. Does MFP send announcements of impending weight loss for every member now?
Anyhow, best of luck to you!
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My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go 0
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I'm not sure I entirely understand you, OP. You made a post saying how much you weigh and then...what? I just don't normally see many people posting their weight just to post their weight. I think if I did see a post that says "I weigh X pounds," I would think okay and then move on.0
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My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go
I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.
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I don't feel this way at all. I've been on MFP for 4 years now and have made tons of friends at all different places in their journey.
I do, however, have 100 pounds to lose total, and am quite selective about what "type" of friend I want on my feed. I tend to want my friends list to consist of those in similar situations, with lots of weight to lose or have lost a lot of weight.
I do not judge based on weight, but I do prefer a certain type of friend to help keep me motivated in my journey. perhaps this is what you're experiencing to some degree? Maybe they're just not that into you. had to say it!0 -
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I've noticed a few people seem different. When talking with people who also have medical issues or are also pretty heavy and have a lot to lose, or even those who had a lot to lose and well on their way to goal seem to be a lot more supportive and motivating. While others who are only looking to lose 20 lbs...or get toned, etc. seem to be quicker to harsher comments. I've started trying to be mostly involved with those who have "similar" issues / goals and things seem to be good now.
I have over 100 lbs to lose, so feel free to add me up! 0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »crystalroselynn wrote: »I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
Looking at you current loss, and diary history, if many people are like myself, I just don't bother with people just starting out (Less than a month), and don't consistently log.
This is a site where people encourage others to maintain a consistent food log, in a goal to either lose, gain, or maintain weight. If someone cannot or will not do the minimum required for it, I'm not going to bother.
It has little to do with your weight, and everything to do with your discipline.
Basically, if you've not been a member for at least 3 weeks, with 3 weeks of consistent logging, and at least one week of progress towards your goal, I'm not going to accept a friend request from you, or send you one.
This. I also dont add people or accept FR's from people who constantly whine and / or complain (not a dig at you OP...i dont find this thread whiney). I just have no interested in reading 'woe is me....im a failure....i cant do it....' type stuff constantly on my feed. Ain't nobody got time for that, lol.
Ive lost 72#, with 14-20 more to go.0 -
3dogsrunning wrote: »My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go
I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.
Agreed. That definitely has not been my experience. In general, I have found that people who have some sort of knowledge of or experience with a topic respond to threads on that topic. For example, I know close to nothing about yoga or Zumba or Tough Mudder races or hypothyroid disorders or veganism so I don't usually respond to threads on those topics. But I know about 5/3/1 and setting (female) calorie levels and female biology so I respond to threads like those. That's a pretty normal way to interact on message boards.0
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