Judgment on bigger people

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  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    msf74 wrote: »
    crystalroselynn wrote: »
    Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    Well, yeah.

    I think the MFP user base reflects a broad cross section of society and sadly some parts of society still hold negative attitudes about people on the way they look, in this case their size.

    Pay it no mind.

    Wait. You're supporting the OP's claim? No one even knows how much she weighs. There was an announcement? Where???

    lithezebra wrote: »
    Don't let anyone's negativity get in the way of your health and happiness.

    Who's negativity?
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Sorry I missed the announcement, OP. (Probably just an issue with MFP's notification system.) Wait. Does MFP send announcements of impending weight loss for every member now?

    Anyhow, best of luck to you!

  • lainy1979
    lainy1979 Posts: 173 Member
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    My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go :)
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I'm not sure I entirely understand you, OP. You made a post saying how much you weigh and then...what? I just don't normally see many people posting their weight just to post their weight. I think if I did see a post that says "I weigh X pounds," I would think okay and then move on.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    edited March 2016
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    lainy1979 wrote: »
    My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go :)

    I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.
  • rbfdac
    rbfdac Posts: 1,057 Member
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    I don't feel this way at all. I've been on MFP for 4 years now and have made tons of friends at all different places in their journey.

    I do, however, have 100 pounds to lose total, and am quite selective about what "type" of friend I want on my feed. I tend to want my friends list to consist of those in similar situations, with lots of weight to lose or have lost a lot of weight.

    I do not judge based on weight, but I do prefer a certain type of friend to help keep me motivated in my journey. perhaps this is what you're experiencing to some degree? Maybe they're just not that into you. had to say it!
  • lainy1979
    lainy1979 Posts: 173 Member
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    @3dogsrunning perhaps I'm looking in the wrong places. Simply an observation.

  • trinty425
    trinty425 Posts: 108 Member
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    I've noticed a few people seem different. When talking with people who also have medical issues or are also pretty heavy and have a lot to lose, or even those who had a lot to lose and well on their way to goal seem to be a lot more supportive and motivating. While others who are only looking to lose 20 lbs...or get toned, etc. seem to be quicker to harsher comments. I've started trying to be mostly involved with those who have "similar" issues / goals and things seem to be good now.

    I have over 100 lbs to lose, so feel free to add me up! :)
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
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    coreyreichle wrote: »
    crystalroselynn wrote: »
    I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    Looking at you current loss, and diary history, if many people are like myself, I just don't bother with people just starting out (Less than a month), and don't consistently log.

    This is a site where people encourage others to maintain a consistent food log, in a goal to either lose, gain, or maintain weight. If someone cannot or will not do the minimum required for it, I'm not going to bother.

    It has little to do with your weight, and everything to do with your discipline.

    Basically, if you've not been a member for at least 3 weeks, with 3 weeks of consistent logging, and at least one week of progress towards your goal, I'm not going to accept a friend request from you, or send you one.

    This. I also dont add people or accept FR's from people who constantly whine and / or complain (not a dig at you OP...i dont find this thread whiney). I just have no interested in reading 'woe is me....im a failure....i cant do it....' type stuff constantly on my feed. Ain't nobody got time for that, lol.

    Ive lost 72#, with 14-20 more to go.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    3dogsrunning wrote: »
    lainy1979 wrote: »
    My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go :)

    I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.

    Agreed. That definitely has not been my experience. In general, I have found that people who have some sort of knowledge of or experience with a topic respond to threads on that topic. For example, I know close to nothing about yoga or Zumba or Tough Mudder races or hypothyroid disorders or veganism so I don't usually respond to threads on those topics. But I know about 5/3/1 and setting (female) calorie levels and female biology so I respond to threads like those. That's a pretty normal way to interact on message boards.
  • CurlyCockney
    CurlyCockney Posts: 1,394 Member
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    One of the things I absolutely adore about the people on this site is that they don't care if you're beautiful (whatever that means), and body-shaming is quickly shot down. They do care, and show a degree of patience that amazes me, about people getting correct information. I should think that showing a modicum of self-awareness and being open to challenging ideas goes a long way to getting what is needed, rather than what is wanted.

    OP in a different circumstance, not related to weight, I had lots of 'nobody understands my situation' moments. My turning point was in realising that it doesn't negate their advice if they don't know every nuance of how I'm feeling. This empowered me to take a step back and see the advice for what it was, and make a logical (rather than emotional) judgement as to whether or not I would follow it. I hope that you will get to that point too.
  • BoaRestrictor
    BoaRestrictor Posts: 194 Member
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    Ignore user button, use it and don't look back. Those people might be sour or who knows.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    In the 3 years I've spent on Mfp, I've never once seen what you're describing. Members here are not tolerant of any kind of shaming either. So... yeah.

    For me, it's more about personal interactions, like-mindedness, similar goals, unicorniness, etc. Never once has it been based on weight.
  • BeYouTiful94
    BeYouTiful94 Posts: 289 Member
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    I'm so sorry you feel this way. I know I personally don't judge people on their size. That would be silly, considering this app is used by a considerable proportion of people so that they can lose weight and be a healthier version of themselves. I'm always supportive of that, because that's what I want for myself (especially because the family on my father's side are all very large and have diabetes, which probably means if I don't keep myself in check, I'm going down that road). If anything, even though my goal is small, I have more respect for larger people who make the decision that they feel it's time for them to take control because I know how hard it is for me to just lose 20 pounds.

    Also, I'm not sure what was said to make you feel this way, but I'm sure it wasn't meant to be taken the way you took it. Some people are simply "no nonsense" people. Combined with the fact that this is a text only forum (meaning there is no tone inflection from which to infer meaning, or body language to draw off of), it can come off as rude if read in a negative tone. Think of a personal trainer. They are no-nonsense-get-off-your-butt-or-don't-waste-my-(insert expletive)-time kind of people. And they are that way intentionally because being nice and telling you it's okay if you make bad habits,quite frankly, gets you nowhere. So maybe that's what happened on some of your other posts???

    Definitely feel free to add me. I don't have a lot to lose, but I'll be on here for the foreseeable future. Tracking my foods and planning my days ahead of time have made all the difference, so I'm not going anywhere, and I would love to watch you succeed and cheer you on, and motivate you when you're down!

    Best of luck!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    edited March 2016
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    3dogsrunning wrote: »
    lainy1979 wrote: »
    My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go :)

    I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.

    But you've seen the friendly and talkative chat with the friendly and talkative though, right?

    (Entirely regardless of weight, of course.)
  • Char231023
    Char231023 Posts: 700 Member
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    crystalroselynn wrote: »
    I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    What kind of attention are you looking for? Were you getting more attention before you "announced" your weight?
  • 20yearsyounger
    20yearsyounger Posts: 1,643 Member
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    3dogsrunning wrote: »
    lainy1979 wrote: »
    My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go :)

    I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.

    Is that in the chit chat forums or something? Although I do agree I chat more with people who have 'bodies' that go to the gym :)
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    OP, my experience has been the opposite of what you describe. I've never been obese, just those 20-30 lbs that keep creeping back. Since I've been here for 3 years, I've come to understand the struggles that the very overweight have. I have become sensitized. Also, many of those thin, very fit members started off obese and they know the struggles, so they don't think much of it. As Rabbit said--you put in the work, you're good to go. You are not judged for your weight on here. You are judged for your attitude. So don't mess up.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
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    You can add me, Dude. I don't care if you weigh half a ton.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    edited March 2016
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    crystalroselynn wrote: »
    I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?

    You might be bringing a preconceived notion to this. You might have "noticed" it because you were subconsciously looking for it even though it's not even there.

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