Judgment on bigger people
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snowflake954 wrote: »You are not judged for your weight on here. You are judged for your attitude.
Wonderfully put, bravo.
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Where was this announcement? If it was on your own newsfeed then it might be a good idea to take a look at your friends list and see when the last time they logged in. I'm sure that probably has a lot to do with a lack of a reaction. As for the ones that are active, there is no guarantee that they seen it. Depending on when you post it and how many friends they all have it could have easily been buried.
If it's here in the community you may have just posted it somewhere in the community where there is not much traffic in general.
It has nothing to do with your starting weight. People here are very supportive. The real key to making friends on here is finding people who are active and interactive. Don't take things personal.0 -
crystalroselynn wrote: »I know this is a supportive website for weight loss and gain but I feel like the bigger people get less attention. I could just be crazy. But after announcing how much I weigh i haven't met very many friendly people. Is it possible there's a slight judgment on us bigger people?
You might be bringing a preconceived notion to this. You might have "noticed" it because you were subconsciously looking for it even though it's not even there.
This could also be true. Sort of like the mentality of "I wanted to stay hidden so I stayed fat" people often say... when it's actually quite opposite.0 -
Just a thought... it is possible that some of the people who don't have as much to lose as you do may not comment on your posts because they don't know what to say.
This is me. I've never been overweight, I've only lost vanity pounds. I'll spend more time giving someone advice on losing the last 5lbs than someone who needs to lose 100, because that's what I have experience in. It has nothing to do with me judging people because of their weight.
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Where was this announcement? If it was on your own newsfeed then it might be a good idea to take a look at your friends list and see when the last time they logged in. I'm sure that probably has a lot to do with a lack of a reaction. As for the ones that are active, there is no guarantee that they seen it. Depending on when you post it and how many friends they all have it could have easily been buried.
If it's here in the community you may have just posted it somewhere in the community where there is not much traffic in general.
It has nothing to do with your starting weight. People here are very supportive. The real key to making friends on here is finding people who are active and interactive. Don't take things personal.
She posted yesterday in the Getting Started section. I'm guessing this is stemming from that there were only 5 replies?0 -
Maybe take a look at how you are coming across. Are you serious about losing weight? Your inconsistent diary, zero pounds lost in the past 60 days, indicate that maybe you aren't. You have lots of friends - how can you possibly support that many? Your profile indicates you look for negative reactions to your size - what you may be experiencing is what you are looking for. Yes, there are size bigots on this site, including the company that now owns the site - but you don't have to listen to them.
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been here years and years and never seen it.
i am judgmental and delete a person in a heartbeat, but it has nothing to do with their actual weight or how much they have to lose.
they're annoying
they complain a lot
they have unrealistic goals
they log inconsistently or incorrectly
they believe ' woo science'
they log exercise such as ' housecleaning and cooking dinner'
they routinely UNDEReat (which for me to notice that, they would have to make a specific comment that made me go look at their diary, because I simply don't look without a reason)
they make negative comments regarding MY diary or habits
they havent logged in in several weeks (and are new. i have older friends who i leave because they are successful and pop in time to time to chat, but no longer find it necessary to log in regularly)0 -
Where was this announcement? If it was on your own newsfeed then it might be a good idea to take a look at your friends list and see when the last time they logged in. I'm sure that probably has a lot to do with a lack of a reaction. As for the ones that are active, there is no guarantee that they seen it. Depending on when you post it and how many friends they all have it could have easily been buried.
If it's here in the community you may have just posted it somewhere in the community where there is not much traffic in general.
It has nothing to do with your starting weight. People here are very supportive. The real key to making friends on here is finding people who are active and interactive. Don't take things personal.
She posted yesterday in the Getting Started section. I'm guessing this is stemming from that there were only 5 replies?
I rarely go in to the Getting Started section and when I do, I look for posts with 0-2 replies and only reply if they are asking a specific question (e.g., how do I change my starting weight, etc.) I don't know if I've ever replied to an introduction thread.0 -
Where was this announcement? If it was on your own newsfeed then it might be a good idea to take a look at your friends list and see when the last time they logged in. I'm sure that probably has a lot to do with a lack of a reaction. As for the ones that are active, there is no guarantee that they seen it. Depending on when you post it and how many friends they all have it could have easily been buried.
If it's here in the community you may have just posted it somewhere in the community where there is not much traffic in general.
It has nothing to do with your starting weight. People here are very supportive. The real key to making friends on here is finding people who are active and interactive. Don't take things personal.
She posted yesterday in the Getting Started section. I'm guessing this is stemming from that there were only 5 replies?
I rarely go in to the Getting Started section and when I do, I look for posts with 0-2 replies and only reply if they are asking a specific question (e.g., how do I change my starting weight, etc.) I don't know if I've ever replied to an introduction thread.
Same. I think I've only ever replied to 2-3 introductions.0 -
Quick check on your posting history has on two posts saying you weigh 271 and then on the one yesterday you say you weigh 336. Is that what you are talking about. When you actually put a larger number for you weight you feel you were being judged?0
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Op- out of the millions of people on this site ,do you really think anyone would even remember your weight ? I doubt that anyone would even care. People here do not judge others upon their weight. We see hundreds of threads per day where people announce their stats. Its very unlikely anyone would even remember your weight if you mentioned it here.
If you feel like you don't have friends here, then put yourself out there to make some. Send requests, send messages, join groups, join challenges until you find a group of people that you click with. Just know that not everyone will comment on your status posts, not everyone cares to do that stuff. You can't take it personal .
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Is it possible that what you perceive is judgement is actually people just not knowing who you are? You have 44 posts, what are you expecting? I've been here for years, I still don't expect people to respond to me. Many people read comments and move on, others lurk without responding ever. Some people will quote and respond. Maybe your expectations of other people's behaviour should be re-evaluated. I keep my friends list small because I like to interact with them. I also don't give a flying-f if online strangers think I'm fat. If anything people here are more supportive because most (not all) are dealing with the same struggles.0
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nutmegoreo wrote: »Is it possible that what you perceive is judgement is actually people just not knowing who you are? You have 44 posts, what are you expecting? I've been here for years, I still don't expect people to respond to me. Many people read comments and move on, others lurk without responding ever. Some people will quote and respond. Maybe your expectations of other people's behaviour should be re-evaluated. I keep my friends list small because I like to interact with them. I also don't give a flying-f if online strangers think I'm fat. If anything people here are more supportive because most (not all) are dealing with the same struggles.
I agree
I haven't commented on a friends post in years, I don't even check my wall or feed ever anymore. So there's a chance that this op has just encountered people who aren't into the buddy thing ,like myself. They likely don't even know how much she weighs.0 -
20yearsyounger wrote: »3dogsrunning wrote: »My experience of the forums is that the beautiful chat to the beautiful, sad but true. I'm lucky that I've found a supportive little network on here in the 7 weeks I've been active. Perhaps those with 'gym bodies' have very different goals therefore don't feel that they have enough in common with us trying to shift a lot of weight? Who knows. Feel free to add me, I've lost 10lb and I've got at least another 28lb to go
I've been here over 4 years and I have NEVER seen that.
Is that in the chit chat forums or something? Although I do agree I chat more with people who have 'bodies' that go to the gym
I don't hang out in Chit Chat so I don't know. I wasn't exactly sure what she meant exactly but either way - in the forums the people who tend to "chat" a bit to each other often have similar interests and "know" each other from giving advice around the forums or from their friend's list (usually on there because they share some common interest). Some of these people are beautiful. Some I have no idea because they never have a personal photo.
If she is referring to the wall, I still say the same thing. Some people are very active on their wall. Some are not (I am not). The "popular" people on their wall are the ones who post regularly, questions, games, jokes, etc. The more you interact with someone, the more interaction you will get, no hot body shot required. I've also seen these people get dropped by others who don't want to see all that.
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RoseTears143 wrote: »Just don't talk about fad diets or counting carbs or clean eating in the forums. People can be downright nasty when you don't do what they say and have a differing opinion on nutrition.
I can't say I've seen any nastiness. I've seen no-nonsense advice and straight talking, along with the shutting down of poor/incorrect advice, woo, or any insistence that one particular way of eating is "the only way to lose weight".
People who know what they're talking about don't sugar-coat things to make you feel better, they tell you outright if what you're doing/suggesting is either dangerous or just plain wrong. That's not being mean or nasty, it's being clear and not supporting incorrect theories or practices.
OP, to answer your question - there may be some people who do judge others on their size, that's human nature. But I've seen a great deal of support on these boards for people with huge amounts of weight to lose, as well as those who only need to lose a few pounds. Like others have said, many people find it easier to relate to people with similar goals or who are in the same place they've been themselves, so not everyone is going to be as supportive or encouraging towards you as you might like. But I'm sure that if you keep looking, you can find people you click with and will be able to support each other. I wish you luck in your journey!0 -
Most people here are pretty rad to be honest.0
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If anything I favour those that have got a lot to lose. What have I got in common with someone who's "struggling to lose 10lbs".0
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So since people talk to me on the forums, does that mean I'm one of the beautiful people? Or could it possibly mean that I've been part of this community for long enough to develop some rapport?
This forum can serve many purposes. We support each other. We answer questions. We goof around. But none of those purposes is to talk at you when you're not holding up your end of the conversation.0 -
Where was this announcement? If it was on your own newsfeed then it might be a good idea to take a look at your friends list and see when the last time they logged in. I'm sure that probably has a lot to do with a lack of a reaction. As for the ones that are active, there is no guarantee that they seen it. Depending on when you post it and how many friends they all have it could have easily been buried.
If it's here in the community you may have just posted it somewhere in the community where there is not much traffic in general.
It has nothing to do with your starting weight. People here are very supportive. The real key to making friends on here is finding people who are active and interactive. Don't take things personal.
She posted yesterday in the Getting Started section. I'm guessing this is stemming from that there were only 5 replies?
Could be. It's one of the forums that I really don't pay much attention to.0 -
Where was this announcement? If it was on your own newsfeed then it might be a good idea to take a look at your friends list and see when the last time they logged in. I'm sure that probably has a lot to do with a lack of a reaction. As for the ones that are active, there is no guarantee that they seen it. Depending on when you post it and how many friends they all have it could have easily been buried.
If it's here in the community you may have just posted it somewhere in the community where there is not much traffic in general.
It has nothing to do with your starting weight. People here are very supportive. The real key to making friends on here is finding people who are active and interactive. Don't take things personal.
She posted yesterday in the Getting Started section. I'm guessing this is stemming from that there were only 5 replies?
Sunday can be a slow day here.0
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