Weight and Children

Your daughter didn't learn to eat unhealthy, she is eating unhealthy becaues the food choices you are giving her are not good ones. You have to buy the unhealthy food for her to eat it unless she is the one grocery shopping? Could you find a daycare that has outdoor play time. Your daughter sounds depressed and physical activity is the best thing. It should be a manditory activity at the daycare she is in now.

Can the sitter take the kids for a walk or to the park to play on the equipment or a sport. If out door is not possible at all, maybe Wii Fit? (Never tried it but some people on here use it and enjoy it). What about your daughter joining a sport? I would try and include active family activities hiking, bike riding, etc. Also maybe instead of explaining calories (as that most likely goes over her head at 7) try having her take an interest in helping you cook healthy meals.

You need to find a way for your daughter to get outside during the week. Even if that means a different sitter. Sure, eating healthy is a REALLY good start and something that should be done anyway, but it won't help her much if she's not moving her body.

I disagree. Just because she can't get outside doesn't mean she can't be active. Perhaps she can watch tv.....don't laugh. There are programs that have exercising specifically for children. It makes it fun. My son enjoys them. My son also stays active in our basement. Perhaps there is an area in the sitter's house that she can run around and play in a more active way.

But the largest problem is diet. If she is not eating healthy, it doesn't matter how active she is. She needs to learn that she can have snacks only once or twice a day, no more. I restrict my son to one snack a day. He could eat nothing but junk if I let him, but with consistency, he has learned how unhealthy it is to eat too much. He now chooses healthier foods on his own, and he is only 5.

I'd buy healthier foods to give your daughter. Make sure you buy fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and find ways to serve the healthy foods in "fun" ways so she doesn't think "ew, I'm just eating green veggies". Go on walks or bike rides as a family after you get home from work.

http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/feeding/healthy-eating/the-20-best-snacks-for-kids/

i was thinking instead of educating your daughter on portions & calories, you could provide high water/fiber foods like fresh-raw veggies & fruit if she still wants to munch after & between meals & teach her that certain foods are better for her than others, like picking a bottle of water instead of mountain dew at the vending machine type thing & giving her lots of healthy options to chose to eat when she is with you, since you may not have control over what the babysitter offers & like most of the other posts say, activity is so important! i'm not sure how you could incorporate activity into her life if the babysitter isn't cooperative or simply can't provide that, but little changes help, like parking further away from stores & taking the stairs instead of the elevator, mommy-daughter walks in the morning or at night where you can bond & talk about your days & are out & moving. ) & great job dropping that weight! i know it's tough being a single mom.

That is a hard one. She could also be "feeling" hungry and eating because she is stressed and going through a hard time. I know my comfort eating started at a very young age. A new sitter might be an option, or making home made fruit pops (fruit of choice, stevia, vanilla, and enough water to blend it up) for the sitters house once the regular snacks are gone. I have kids that never want to drink water, but always want milk or juice. I finally started giving them water, with a little lemon juice and stevia in it. They love it and the flavor helps them think they are getting a yummy treat but it cuts out all the calories. Try going for really low calorie snacks...like air popped popcorn.

Is your divorce recent? I hate to sound ominous, but is there any possibility at all that the eating could be emotional? If so, you would have to take a different approach to helping her.

Again, I don't want to sound awful or pessimistic, it's just something that popped into my head....

I wish you luck with this situation, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are doing what is best for her without being overbearing, which is SOOO important (and difficult)!!

My 4 year old daughter sees me work out all the time, and we spend a lot of time at the YMCA. She doesn't want to be skinny, she wants to be strong like a supergirl and lift up a house! I think that's a good way to approach it, being strong and healthy as opposed to thin.

I have a very good friend that went through the same thing with her son. Shortly thereafter, he went through a growth spurt (9 inches during the school year) and joined sports, he is quite lean now. If you are feeding her the healthy stuff that you are eating, she is prolly fine. I say get her involved in something active, girls love gymnastics and cheering, which are way active. and definitely don't let her see you stressing over her weight.
You could play basketball at the park together after you pick her up from the sitters, or tag, frisbee, anything, just 30 minutes and you both won some cardio time, and developed an appetite for a good healthy dinner. Take weekend hikes when you are offwork, go swimming at the lake, make weekends fun and highly active, and that might make up for some of the inactivity during the week.
These are my thoughts and advice. I hope they help!

I definitely think taking the "we're going to be a healthy family" approach is going to be your best bet in avoiding fostering a thin=best mentality in your daughter.

If all you have is healthy, whole foods in the house, then all she can eat are healthy whole foods. Kids don't get heavy because they eat too many veggies, right? And if you plan active things to do, she'll have active things to do. It's not like she can stay home by herself if you're playing in the park or swimming in the local pool, right?

I'm no expert, but if it were my child & the issue were only 10 pounds, I would personally just encourage healthy eating & an active lifestyle without focusing on her actually LOSING any weight - I'd just fill her up with fresh foods, get her body moving and wait for her to grow into the weight she's currently at. That seems like the path of least resistance in regards to her weight while making the biggest impact on her future habits.

It sounds a lot like boredom eating. If there's nothing to do but sit around and eat, that's what she'll do.

Even if I'm not at a healthy weight myself, I've been emphasizing healthy eating to my children. I tell them they can't eat junk all the time because junk does not build strong, healthy bodies. It's not to say they are not allowed treats, but they eat the food that keeps them healthy before they can have junk.

It seems to work. They are all healthy weights and my oldest is practically vegetarian most days, so we consume a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Just like anyone else it's two fold, she needs to move and eat better. She needs to eat more more healthfully, when she's hungry eat veggies, if she is getting through all of her food, send more vegetables (no dip) and drink more water. I'd want to know why your care taker isn't ensuring she gets outside to play? What does a fence have to do with it? Also, get her involved in other activities, contact your local YMCA and see what they have for summer programs that your daughter can do that are reasonably priced. Lead by example, yeah it's great that you joined a gym, but what are you doing to encourage her to move with you, buy her a bike and have her ride while you jog? Go on walks together or to the park in the evening after work.

Added: congrats on your weight loss, it's time to share your experiences with your child.

Heya!

I just thought I would post with more of a warning than anything - be careful how you educate your daughter. I like that you're trying to avoid using the terms 'skinny' or 'fat,' but you want to be careful about how you react when she does start losing the weight.

I have struggled with an eating disorder for a good 8 years of my life, and it was because when I was younger (11), I was a little chubby. I lost the weight and got a prize for it. It was the coolest thing ever, but it reinforced the idea that losing weight means you'll get a reward at the end of it. Do NOT reward it! Starting to make kids notice what they are eating at such a young age is scary.

IMO, I'd say just make the sitter aware of what your daughter is allowed/not allowed to eat. At the same time, if she does eat that kind of stuff, don't freak out.

You also have to remember that there's a special thing called 'baby fat' and that not all kids have to look the same, just like not all adults have to look the same.

Please, don't stress out over this too much. Change your lifestyle and hers will change, too. Make eating an apple more enjoyable to you over, say, a bag of chips, and she'll follow suit. You're her hero and she will watch and copy you for at least another 8-10 years. Just change your life and you will change hers.

If the sitter is having issues with keeping her outside, then maybe suggest that they go places, or (this is going to sound harsh and I apologize) find a new sitter who is willing to keep your daughter active. If your daughters fitness level is of a concern for you, then make the change. She certainly doesn't have the mental capacity to do it herself yet. It's up to you.

But again, this is just my opinion and I don't know how feasible it is for you right now during this difficult period. =( I wish you all the best and hope that everything works out for you!

It could be many things. If your divorce was recent as was the weight gain then I would agree she is probably emotionally eating. But now is a great time to teach her the proper way to eat. She will carry that with her through out her life I believe. At least that's what I'm going by now. My oldest is only 13 .

With that being said a fence shouldn't really matter. She should still provide physical activities and games for the kids. Our front yard doesn't have a fence but we go out nightly and catch fire flies or toss a ball. Or take our puppies for a walk. When I can't take my kids outside my 3 year old would drive me even crazier if I didn't burn off his energy. So we play games in the house. Sometimes it's even just a fun thing of turning on the radio and dancing around the house being silly.

I also agree with telling her she is beautiful. I've tried to stress that with both of my girls. One is slender and petite and the other is tall and has her father's Polish/German build. So she has a larger frame. I don't want them to ever think that one has a better body than the other one. They are both beautiful girls.

You will find your way. You love her and want the best for her and that is a wonderful start.