My mind is my worst enemy

5'8 237 part time SAHM looking 4 pals. I don't like being this out there about myself but I think I need people that I can connect with for support. I usually try to go it alone but I haven't done well with that. I psych myself out of trying to lose weight all the time. The slightest victory I get I think I can treat myself and I go off track- which turns into way off track. I get scared to lose weight too. I get afraid of the attention I might get, it makes me feel self conscious. I don't like the thought of losing weight and gaining friends I didn't have before because how great are those people that weren't interested in me until I lost weight? As you can see I think too much. Wondering if others feel like their mind it's their biggest obstacle in losing weight and how that is for you? Thanks for your thoughts.