How to break up with coworker walking buddy?
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OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
I say that I'm "more serious" about it because of the other choices she makes and she has even admitted it. I'm keeping to a more strict diet and exercise plan than she is and I have really tried to be that extra motivation for her. Her weight loss is great and I wasn't putting the numbers out there as a direct comparison (definitely was not my intent). I was just showing how we both have been successful thus far.
I will always remain friends with her inside and outside of work and at any weight, etc.
I have a personal goal weight and time frame I am trying to reach and I am trying to stick with it. It may mean I feel a bit more rushed to work out harder to achieve it than anyone else for that matter. I've tried to get her interested in using resistance bands at work. She gives up easily and I know this about her personality.
At what point do you need to put yourself first? This is my dilemma. I still will walk with her and will forever be friends with her. I'm at a point in my weight loss that I need to keep my focus so I don't fail myself.
but we're still talking about walking tho. I'm assuming the "other choices" she makes are diet related. well, as long she isn't forcing cupcakes into your mouth during the walk it has zero effect on you. because we're still talking about **walking**. I'm not sure what you mean by maximizing your walks, but I'm betting the total difference between your current break time strolls and a "Max Walk" during a work break is maybe 100 calories at best. As long as you are making the most of your diet you're good to go.
i'm not saying you HAVE to walk with her. if you want to stop, stop. just be real with yourself as to the reasons why.
Now we're getting somewhere with this discussion. What exactly are you trying to do to maximize your walks? If you're just trying to beat her around the building then it doesn't make much if any difference if you go faster than her. There are two ways to increase your calories burned walking.
1. Walk further. Mostly this just means walking for a longer period of time. This is walking, not running. Even a slow run doesn't make a huge difference in calories burned vs walking. Distance walked is the key.
2. Weigh more. If you carried some heavy rocks* in a backpack you would be moving more weight thus burning more calories.
*Whatever you have to add weight works.0 -
You could start the walk with your friend and at some point let her know "Okay, now i'm going to run for a bit! See you at the office!" I run on occasion during my lunch break with a friend. She is much faster than me and usually after we chat for a few minutes while running, I'll say "Okay! I can't keep your pace anymore! I'll see you when we get back!" And off she goes like the fast rabbit she is. No feelings hurt, we still keep our bond and both get what our bodies need.
This is the most respectful approach, I think. You start the walk with your buddy (almost like a warm-up), and at some point you say that you're going to take off now and you'll see her in a bit. She may kick it up a notch and surprise you.
FWIW, I don't think you were being intentionally rude, but some of your points re your friend not being serious do sound a bit condescending. 30 pounds in 6 months is a bit over 1lb/week, which is great, healthy progress. If she can hit that rate of loss while still enjoying the food she likes and not feeling like she has to work out in her cubicle all day, more power to her.0 -
OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
I say that I'm "more serious" about it because of the other choices she makes and she has even admitted it. I'm keeping to a more strict diet and exercise plan than she is and I have really tried to be that extra motivation for her. Her weight loss is great and I wasn't putting the numbers out there as a direct comparison (definitely was not my intent). I was just showing how we both have been successful thus far.
I will always remain friends with her inside and outside of work and at any weight, etc.
I have a personal goal weight and time frame I am trying to reach and I am trying to stick with it. It may mean I feel a bit more rushed to work out harder to achieve it than anyone else for that matter. I've tried to get her interested in using resistance bands at work. She gives up easily and I know this about her personality.
At what point do you need to put yourself first? This is my dilemma. I still will walk with her and will forever be friends with her. I'm at a point in my weight loss that I need to keep my focus so I don't fail myself.
but we're still talking about walking tho. I'm assuming the "other choices" she makes are diet related. well, as long she isn't forcing cupcakes into your mouth during the walk it has zero effect on you. because we're still talking about **walking**. I'm not sure what you mean by maximizing your walks, but I'm betting the total difference between your current break time strolls and a "Max Walk" during a work break is maybe 100 calories at best. As long as you are making the most of your diet you're good to go.
i'm not saying you HAVE to walk with her. if you want to stop, stop. just be real with yourself as to the reasons why.
Now we're getting somewhere with this discussion. What exactly are you trying to do to maximize your walks? If you're just trying to beat her around the building then it doesn't make much if any difference if you go faster than her. There are two ways to increase your calories burned walking.
1. Walk further. Mostly this just means walking for a longer period of time. This is walking, not running. Even a slow run doesn't make a huge difference in calories burned vs walking. Distance walked is the key.
2. Weigh more. If you carried some heavy rocks* in a backpack you would be moving more weight thus burning more calories.
*Whatever you have to add weight works.
I was thinking along the same lines...
You can buy some leg and/or arm weights. 2.5lbs on each would give you an extra 10lbs easy. That should put a little more into your walk0 -
Small_Town_Southern_Man wrote: »
I work a 10 hour day and my commute is about an hour each way. I'm already up at 4:40am and don't get home until 6pm or later (depending on grocery shopping and traffic). By the time I get home, I make dinner and head to bed and am exhausted. My "workouts" are honestly mostly done at work. I have resistance bands at my cubicle even. lol This is why maximizing my time at work is so important to me. I would do more before or after, but I'm honestly not left with much time.
I also feel that I help motivate her to go walking and be more active. But I still see the poor choices she makes when it comes to her diet. It's a little frustrating and I completely value her friendship. She's been sweet enough to tell me to walk on ahead of her but I feel SOOOO guilty. I know I have a nurturing side to me where I will help others even at my own detriment. Another reason why I'm struggling with this.
I don't think the friendship/working relationship comes first at the cost of your fitness. If you are able to carry on a conversation, you are basically taking a leisurely stroll and not making good use of your only convenient time to exercise. You are feeling frustrated, and since she suggested that you walk ahead, she is somewhat aware of how you are feeling.
Why not just explain that you need to walk fast to break a sweat and relieve work stress? Go ahead and start walking at the pace you want, and she will either keep up or tell you to go on ahead... and do it!
It isn't your job to motivate your coworker any longer. You are not her personal trainer.
(I have a good friend at my gym who is 4" shorter. We walk on the 200 meter indoor track. I sometimes suggest that we walk fast, and she speeds up pretty good. Other times, I tell her I'm running for 20 minutes, and we meet up for walking after. There are some days that my workouts don't seem hard enough, but that's ok, since I can make up for it on other days - when she isn't there.
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Arm/ankle weights and/or weighted back pack would amp up your calorie burn.0
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It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
I was just going to mention this. C25K would work for both of you if she wanted.
or
Tell your friend you want to run a couple times a week on break instead of walking
or
if you are the motivator motivate your friend to walk faster
or
be the adult and be up front and honest that you want more out of your walks/runs and you are going to start pushing harder but she is still more than welcome to join you.
you feel guilty about pushing ahead your friend has already told you to go ahead....
ETA: I actually feel for you as I am a fast walker and do it on my own time...times when I walk with others I feel like I didn't get a good enough work out in and have been known to add in a mile or two after they leave or are done...aka husband...0 -
skazzmatter wrote: »It depends how much that friendship means to you and how much you're willing to risk "an atmosphere" at work.
Personally I would probably keep walking with her in the lunch break and just see it as a social thing, as it would only be a tiny proportion of my activity, and do my more competitive stuff before or after work.
yeah i agree with this. if you want to break off a friendship to work out, you're bordering on unhealthy/eatingdisordered thinking.
Seriously? You've got to he kidding. That is ridiculous.
OP I have had experiences where people I work with wanted to start going to the gym with me and use me as motivation. That's fine. What wasn't fine was when I started changing the gym schedule that worked for me in order to cater to them, and then realizing they aren't serious about it at all and would ditch me. Ending up with my schedule screwed over for no reason. Luckily these people just stopped going to the gym and I stopped caring about what they did. Yes, I am more serious than them. They are busy trying magic pills and cleanses while I am working my butt off and getting results.
Not exactly the same situation, I know. Just letting you know it's okay to do something for yourself. However you go about it - if she is a friend then she will understand. I would agree that maybe you keep your walking partner a couple days a week and start to jog on other days. Mention it to her and see how she feels.0 -
OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.0 -
Not under attack - I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just feel for your friend, lol.
Wasn't saying you were. Everyone else! lol
I love my coworker like family. I know we want each other to be successful - it's a mutual understanding. I just want to finally reach my goal and I need all the little bit of effort from myself that I can get.
This isn't a forever "break up". Just let me do what I need to do for right now. She's welcome along the journey (I would prefer to have her there) and I hope I help keep her motivated too.
It's crazy you have to defend yourself for wanting to get a little more intense. I think your friend will understand that you'd like to do a little bit more. Honestly, aren't friends supposed to be supportive? Maybe if you still make time for her a couple days a week - seems like it'll be the best of both worlds. You could start out walking and say hey... lets try something different, do you want to try to jog? Besides, I can't really believe you'd have to choose between being friends and walking together. That seems a little extreme.
And for everyone saying you can only get so much more out of walking... It all adds up. So you get an extra 20 calories a day, that's 100 a week!
Don't feel the need to defend yourself for wanting to better yourself. If they are as good a friend as you are saying, they will be supportive and happy - and odds are it'll help motivate them more too. Win win in my book.0 -
It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
I like this idea. It's what I often do when I'm out with a slower partner: I do Fartleks
Run ahead by 30 seconds, double back walking. Rinse, repeat. 0 -
You could start the walk with your friend and at some point let her know "Okay, now i'm going to run for a bit! See you at the office!" I run on occasion during my lunch break with a friend. She is much faster than me and usually after we chat for a few minutes while running, I'll say "Okay! I can't keep your pace anymore! I'll see you when we get back!" And off she goes like the fast rabbit she is. No feelings hurt, we still keep our bond and both get what our bodies need.
My running buddy and I do this too. She's faster, but I run longer distances, so when she's still fresh at mile 4, I'm already on mile 9 and starting to tire. So she'll take off. If it's still early in the run she'll go to the end of the block and circle back, cheer me on for a minute and repeat. If it's close to the end of her planned mileage, then she says ok I'll see you later. I don't see why you have to choose between being friends and working out together.0 -
It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
Second bonus. That will show her how much harder you've been working and motivate her to work harder too. There's no way that running ahead of her and running back could be taken as insulting.
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Unleash the beast.
You can't let anyone, even friends, hold you back from your goals.
If that was my co-worker I'd chuck the deuces and speed off in a cloud of dust like the Roadrunner.0 -
I would continue to walk with her, but you mentioned she told you to go ahead at one point--I might say, "Are you sure you don't mind?" and then take her up on it. I have a friend who walks slowly--I still walk with her, but I run on the treadmill when I get home, although I understand your workday is long and you may not have that option.0
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I would go with C25K for both of you, or maybe run two days a week and walk the remainder 3 with her. Yes you want to move fast, but in a selfish way. Just ask yourself, how would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot. We never know what's around the corner.
On another I agree with the person that said, remember those you dump on the way up, will be there on your way back down or may even pass you. Would I want to be friends with you again definitely NO.0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
I like this idea. It's what I often do when I'm out with a slower partner: I do Fartleks Run ahead by 30 seconds, double back walking. Rinse, repeat.
What a great suggestion! Though, sometimes it can get a little "annoying" if you're running with someone who is doing circles around you. There's been a few times I was feeling sick, and instead of just slowing down my boyfriend ran next to me backwards. Not. Cool. Lol.0 -
I think if you discuss it honestly, she'll remain friends with you. I broke up with my own SISTER! as a fitness partner!lol
She's not overweight, but she just would either be late all the time,,or only workout for 15 minutes, and I feel like I'm just getting started at 15 minutes. Her intentions were good, she's just not a workout person.
I just went over her house one day, and said, "I release you from your commitment to work out with me,,I think it'd be better for me and for you...that way you can go at your pace, and I can go at mine"
I did make sure to end the conversation about it, something like " I completely enjoyed my time with you, and I love ya, we'll just do other things together"0 -
I'd be honest with her, in a very gentle way. Not about her inability or diet, but about your need to push yourself a bit. Train for that marathon, it's a great reason and a wonderful goal...surely she would understand your taking it to the next level in that case. My feeling is if she is truly a good friend she will understand. Tell her you'd love her to join you...give her a choice. Perhaps start with a warm up walk, visit a bit and run ahead and then back to her and finish the cool down with her.
You might also consider using a weight vest or walking weights to up your exercise if you think you can continue with her. Perhaps have lunch once a week to spend your time together and catch up. Make time with her important, that is what it's all about. Be creative. It's really about your relationship and you know her best.
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What's wrong with just being honest. " Hey, I want to start jogging a bit" and see where that goes. Who knows maybe she will be interested in starting a program such as C25k as well. Communication is the only way.0
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I think it's fair to tell her that you'd like to challenge yourself some more on these walks. Ask if she would mind starting out together as you warm up and chat, but let her know that halfway through the walk you're going to kick it into a higher gear and it's nothing personal - you're just trying to push your own limits.0
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Instead of ditching your friend, why not incentivize her into being more active with you? Make it a competition? Maybe, *gasp* encourage her gently towards pushing her limits?0
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Get some of them shoes by Sketchers that make you feel like you're walking up hill. I hear good things about them like a walking is now a workout.0
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coreyreichle wrote: »OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.
This would only be true if they had the exact same stats. She already said her friend is 4 inches shorter, so she likely has less room for a deficit while still getting her basic nutrition. Besides, faster weight loss does not equal more serious weight loss. Losing too fast will result in losing muscle mass, which no one wants.
And those people who lost 100 pounds in the same time it took you to lose 50 may have had much more to lose. Comparing numbers like that is at best meaningless and at worst destructive.0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.
People losing 100lbs in the same time it took you to lose that 55lbs or so weren't "more serious", they simply had different goals. It sounds like both of you were as serious as the other to reach your individual goals.0 -
OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
I say that I'm "more serious" about it because of the other choices she makes and she has even admitted it. I'm keeping to a more strict diet and exercise plan than she is and I have really tried to be that extra motivation for her. Her weight loss is great and I wasn't putting the numbers out there as a direct comparison (definitely was not my intent). I was just showing how we both have been successful thus far.
I will always remain friends with her inside and outside of work and at any weight, etc.
I have a personal goal weight and time frame I am trying to reach and I am trying to stick with it. It may mean I feel a bit more rushed to work out harder to achieve it than anyone else for that matter. I've tried to get her interested in using resistance bands at work. She gives up easily and I know this about her personality.
At what point do you need to put yourself first? This is my dilemma. I still will walk with her and will forever be friends with her. I'm at a point in my weight loss that I need to keep my focus so I don't fail myself.
but we're still talking about walking tho. I'm assuming the "other choices" she makes are diet related. well, as long she isn't forcing cupcakes into your mouth during the walk it has zero effect on you. because we're still talking about **walking**. I'm not sure what you mean by maximizing your walks, but I'm betting the total difference between your current break time strolls and a "Max Walk" during a work break is maybe 100 calories at best. As long as you are making the most of your diet you're good to go.
i'm not saying you HAVE to walk with her. if you want to stop, stop. just be real with yourself as to the reasons why.
Now we're getting somewhere with this discussion. What exactly are you trying to do to maximize your walks? If you're just trying to beat her around the building then it doesn't make much if any difference if you go faster than her. There are two ways to increase your calories burned walking.
1. Walk further. Mostly this just means walking for a longer period of time. This is walking, not running. Even a slow run doesn't make a huge difference in calories burned vs walking. Distance walked is the key.
2. Weigh more. If you carried some heavy rocks* in a backpack you would be moving more weight thus burning more calories.
*Whatever you have to add weight works.
I was thinking along the same lines...
You can buy some leg and/or arm weights. 2.5lbs on each would give you an extra 10lbs easy. That should put a little more into your walk
A weighted walking vest would be a much safer option. This would distribute the weight evenly. Even Target sells one.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=weighted+walking+vest
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I'm surprised so many people would be offended if a workout partner wanted to "separate" after starting out together. So, once you workout together you can't realign your personal goals if it doesn't include your friend? That sounds more like a marriage commitment, lol.
Of course you have to be careful because some might be sensitive that they're not progressing as fast or feel like they're being left behind, but it doesn't mean you're a bad friend. And geez, if a friend was THAT sensitive or easily offended I would have a hard time being good friends. Feeling "trapped" or like I'm unable to have my needs/wants considered makes me put up walls. I'm a very loyal friend, but it's not always about them, either.
My sisters and I workout together and spend lots of time together. But sometimes our needs change and we all adjust our sails. Sometimes it means being okay working out alone, or maybe we decide to make the change with the other one. My sister just starting going to gym classes instead of jogging. She's trying to lose more body fat and shape up. Sometimes she still jogs with us on Saturdays. Sometimes we try her classes. No one is looking down on another. Sometimes it's a fact... One wants to progress or up the intensity more than another. What's wrong with that? We love each other and realize that getting offended is silly and a reflection of our own self beliefs and not necessarily theirs.
I don't think the OP is looking down on her friend. What's wrong with saying that she wants to maximize a walk? Or saying that she's more serious? Maybe using lbs lost to reflect effort isn't the right way, but I don't think she's out of touch. Even if "more serious" isn't the right terminology, I think she's just trying to say she's ready to try new methods and worried about her friend feeling bad.
I'd do like others suggested... "I'm thinking about power walking (or jogging) two days a week. Are you interested?" Start your walks with her, break off and meet back at the office. Add weights the other days when you walk with her.
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Run past her and then circle back past her. You will still be around her, but both of you benefit0
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AddieOverhaul wrote: »I'm big into being honest with my friends, in the nicest way possible. I don't think you should have to sacrifice your workout time to keep her happy, and a good friend will understand that as long as you still make time for her. Could you tell her that you need to up the intensity level to achieve your goals and will still walk with her for part of the lunch hour but need 20 minutes to run? Or maybe run MWF and walk with her on tuesdays and thursdays as your "rest" days? You may inspire her to start running!
This.0 -
coreyreichle wrote: »OP, I'm kind of perturbed by your judging yourself as "more serious" than she is just because you lost 60 lbs and she lost 30. It takes a boat load of serious to lose 30lbs in 6 months - maybe she's content at taking it off more slowly knowing this is a marathon, not a sprint. You both are making excellent progress at your own pace.
Again it all depends on how much you value the friendship. Is this strictly a walking friendship - meaning, you're not really friends outside of work? What happens when you get to goal weight and she's still 30 lbs behind? Is she no longer worth being your friend?
Obviously, if one is losing at a faster pace than the other, one of the two is more serious about weight loss and fitness... Especially when one is outpacing the other.
If both were equally serious, the weight would be coming off at about the same rate.
This is coming from someone who lost ~55lbs in a year. People losing 100lbs in the same time were obviously more serious about their weight loss than I was. It's not a slight, it's just a fact.
That's not how this works tho
Brb, ditching my lifting buddy for "insufficient gainz"0 -
It's going to take you a bit to work into running longer stretches anyway. C25K starts you out running 30 secs at a time, for Pete's sake.
Why not walk with your friend for a bit, jog out then back and pick up walking with her again. Rinse and repeat. You still get to hang with your friend and get some jogging in. Bonus, maybe your friend will feel like joining you someday. And if not, this makes an easier transition to both of you doing something a bit different on break.
Second bonus. That will show her how much harder you've been working and motivate her to work harder too. There's no way that running ahead of her and running back could be taken as insulting.
They're taking an exercise break together, not window shopping. Presumably OP is savvy enough to tell her friend beforehand what she plans on doing, and why - that she wants to try running, but also wants to spend as much time as she can with her friend.
If I go to work out with someone and they're insulted that I do a different or (gasp!) harder program than they do, that's their issue. Nothing OP has said indicates the friend is upset that OP wants to work harder during their breaks.
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