A question for brides who lost weight for their weddings

punkrockgoth · March 2016

I am 5'5, started at 270 lbs, currently 238lbs. My wedding is in January of 2018.

I have some questions about dress shopping. I have been out to a couple of stores to get a feel for the process. I swear to god I'm going to sucker punch the next bridal consultant who tells me I should wear a strapless A-line with a corset back and a sweeheart neckline because it's "flattering on *those* kinds of bodies". Not that I am completely anti-A-line. I'm just sick of being told that that's what I'm supposed to be wearing.

I tried on dresses at 260 lbs and again at 242 lbs and found them to look different. I'm wondering how long I should hold out before I get serious about shopping, especially knowing that I have so much longer before my wedding.

When did you start shopping and order your dress?
Did you order at the size you were or order a size down?
Did you find that what looked good on you changed as you lost weight?
Did you have any problems with your dress once it arrived?

Any other dress shopping advice?

Thank you!

TavistockToad · March 2016

You need 6- 9 months if you're ordering a dress that's going to be made instead of off the rail so you have plenty of time to keep losing yet.

pariskathryn · March 2016

Well, I got my dress from Tatyana Boutique (an online pin up clothing store with a boutique at the mall in Minneapolis here) and it looked great off the rack, but I actually bought it probably a month before my wedding because I was losing weight. I did go dress shopping a few months ahead of time, but I just tried to stick to dresses that could be altered-- I did find a dress one size down, but when I lost another 7 pounds, it was still too tight on my hips and not tight enough on my boobs!

CollieFit · March 2016

I won't have a made to measure dress, but find in the UK there are plenty of beautiful "off the peg" dresses, so I'll leave it until about 6 weeks before the wedding and just buy one at goal weight.

punkrockgoth · March 2016

Thanks for all the advice!

CollieFit · March 2016

I just noticed you're in Scotland... If you're 238lb now but your wedding isn't until January next near that's oodles of time to drop into the size range where you can buy off the peg if you wanted to. Both Phase Eight and Monsoon go up to size 18, so you can then just pick whatever style you fancy.

CollieFit · March 2016

Judging by your forum name, you might also want to check out some of these...

http://www.the-couture-company.co.uk/gowns
http://www.rockthefrockbridal.co.uk/
http://www.rocknrollbride.com/2011/03/alternative-non-strapless-wedding-dress-ideas-for-a-rock-n-roll-bride/

You might get better advice there than in standard conservative wedding dress shops...

punkrockgoth · March 2016

CollieFit wrote: »

I just noticed you're in Scotland... If you're 238lb now but your wedding isn't until January next near that's oodles of time to drop into the size range where you can buy off the peg if you wanted to. Both Phase Eight and Monsoon go up to size 18, so you can then just pick whatever style you fancy.

I had the experience from hell at Wed2Be in Glasgow and walked into another shop where they just gave me a dirty look and said they had no appointments available. There was a shop recommended to me in Paisley, I may go look. I return to Canada at the end of May though.

(I had to change my location on MFP because it was acting up because it wouldn't let me change the time zone while keeping my location the same.)

punkrockgoth · March 2016

CollieFit wrote: »

Judging by your forum name, you might also want to check out some of these...

http://www.the-couture-company.co.uk/gowns
http://www.rockthefrockbridal.co.uk/
http://www.rocknrollbride.com/2011/03/alternative-non-strapless-wedding-dress-ideas-for-a-rock-n-roll-bride/

You might get better advice there than in standard conservative wedding dress shops...

Thank you! They might not be total *kitten* too!

CollieFit · March 2016

punkrockgoth wrote: »

CollieFit wrote: »

I just noticed you're in Scotland... If you're 238lb now but your wedding isn't until January next near that's oodles of time to drop into the size range where you can buy off the peg if you wanted to. Both Phase Eight and Monsoon go up to size 18, so you can then just pick whatever style you fancy.

I had the experience from hell at Wed2Be in Glasgow and walked into another shop where they just gave me a dirty look and said they had no appointments available. There was a shop recommended to me in Paisley, I may go look. I return to Canada at the end of May though. (I had to change my location on MFP because it was acting up because it wouldn't let me change the time zone while keeping my location the same.)

Pffffft...... I can just see that hoitytoityness and I'm so not going to go there. I expect, as an "older bride" I would get a similar reception and "advice" on what I can and can't wear so they can *** right off. LOL

Maybe you'll get a better reception in Canada?

prettyleelee · March 2016

I just got married in October I ordered my dress 8 months before the wedding when I got it back it was huge!!! I had to do a lot of alterations take 15 inches out of it. So in my opinion I wouldn't order any later than 8 months. It took a little while to alter and I had to maintain my weight for a few weeks after it was done. Somehow my body didn't get that notice and I still ended up having to keep pulling it up.

mbaker566 · March 2016

i waited till six months. and just had my last fitting before the wedding.
i let her take it in a little extra so it's a little tight. so i can't gain weight, i can maintain, and i have a little room to lose

punkrockgoth · March 2016

CollieFit wrote: »

punkrockgoth wrote: »

CollieFit wrote: »

I just noticed you're in Scotland... If you're 238lb now but your wedding isn't until January next near that's oodles of time to drop into the size range where you can buy off the peg if you wanted to. Both Phase Eight and Monsoon go up to size 18, so you can then just pick whatever style you fancy.

I had the experience from hell at Wed2Be in Glasgow and walked into another shop where they just gave me a dirty look and said they had no appointments available. There was a shop recommended to me in Paisley, I may go look. I return to Canada at the end of May though. (I had to change my location on MFP because it was acting up because it wouldn't let me change the time zone while keeping my location the same.)

Pffffft...... I can just see that hoitytoityness and I'm so not going to go there. I expect, as an "older bride" I would get a similar reception and "advice" on what I can and can't wear so they can *** right off. LOL

Maybe you'll get a better reception in Canada?

I feel like somehow I have really bad luck with dress shops or there must be a problem with how I carry myself because the first dress shop I went to was in Canada where they told me they showed me pictures of dresses and straight up told me I was too fat for samples, it wasn't their fault, it's just what the manufacturer sends, but I could look at the pictures and order from that. I left the store crying and almost called off my engagement.

Six months later went shopping in Glasgow only because my friends here were begging to go shopping with me. The first shop was the one who told me they had no appointments. The sign on the door said no appointment was required. All the fitting rooms were empty and the consultants sitting on their mobiles. I walked in and they said I needed to make an appointment. I asked about their openings and without even moving, said they had none. So I said "well fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you" and walked out.

Then I went to Wed2Be where the consultant flat out refused to let me try on what I wanted to, continually found new and creative ways to call me fat and refused to answer any of my questions. Anything I wanted to try on, she told me I couldn't because it wouldn't be flattering and she knew better than me because she's been in the industry forever. Once again I found myself trying to talk my fiancé into eloping.

So quite honestly, I'm good for wedding dress shopping for awhile. It just sucks because dress shopping is supposed to be magical but it sucks more than regular shopping. It's good that I still have awhile to go because I don't think I can bring myself to go shopping again until I've lost a lot more weight.

prettyleelee wrote: »

I just got married in October I ordered my dress 8 months before the wedding when I got it back it was huge!!! I had to do a lot of alterations take 15 inches out of it. So in my opinion I wouldn't order any later than 8 months. It took a little while to alter and I had to maintain my weight for a few weeks after it was done. Somehow my body didn't get that notice and I still ended up having to keep pulling it up.

Congratulations on both your wedding and weight loss! You look stunning!

08_GreenEyedMomma · March 2016

I'm in the states, but we got engaged & married in 6mths. I bought a dress from David's Bridal 5mths before the wedding. Had to order it in my size, but I had it in my possession, after alterations, about 2mths before the wedding. I was told not to lose/gain weight after I got it back. Just keep in mind, there are only so many inches built into these dresses (I was told 4in total, incl both sides) to let them out & if it has any decoration, there is only so much that can be taken in without compromising the design.

JoRocka · March 2016

you're wedding is in 2018?

Why are you going wedding shopping now for real?

You don't need to go till 2017- dress regret is real- and you're going to be super cranky about it.

Depending on the designer and the store 6 months is pretty normal- but they guess very high to make sure you have plenty of time. Honestly I'd dedicate yourself for the next 10 months to dropping a ton of weight and then go shopping in January/february 2017 -you'll have another 4-7 months to lose more weight before your first fitting.

puffbrat · March 2016

The general rule of thumb is that you need to order your dress 6-9 months before, and start the alterations 3-4 weeks before the wedding. I actually bought my dress further out than planned because my matron of honor was pregnant (about 5 months and the appointment time) and wanted to go shopping earlier before she got too big. If you are starting to look now and find a shop you like, ask them how far you should order.

I admit I went princessy and got a strapless ballgown. I did have 2 inch wide straps added during alterations for my own comfort (still wore a strapless long-line bra).

The shop told my matron of honor and I that they can take a dress out 2 sizes but can take one in 4 sizes. I do think this varies some depending the dress (style/cut, fabric, embellishments). They were great about working with my friend to try to determine what size would fit her at wedding time, and suggesting she order one size larger then what she wanted just to have some wiggle room since it could be taken in if needed.

I can't help with your other questions since I failed at losing weight, which I am very annoyed with myself for. A 10lb loss would have made a big difference. Oh well.

camillasmith1987 · March 2016

I bought a dress one size smaller and dropped 10 lbs. I bought about 8 months before wedding. I did find it useful motivation to diet!

Queenmunchy · March 2016

6 months minimum if you need to have it ordered.

I did that, but decided I hated it (and it was huge) and just bought an off the rack dress from Macy's.

punkrockgoth · March 2016

JoRocka wrote: »

you're wedding is in 2018?

Why are you going wedding shopping now for real?

January of 2018.

But really, my goals in shopping right now are to get a feel for the process and also to shut up the girlfriends who can't stop squeeing that they want to go dress shopping. Mostly though to have a good understanding of how it works for when I am ready to buy.

hkendall1021 · March 2016

I am getting married in June of 2017 and just found my dress a week ago! I think it gives a lot of motovation to fit in it better or go down a few sizes! You can always alter down right before the wedding! My consultant told me they can alter 2 complete dress sizes in the dress that I got! So now I know even thought I got my dress a year and two months earlier that I can still lose weight and just get it altered a month or few weeks before the wedding! I feel like if you find a dress you love now on you then you'll for sure love it when you have lost weight! I would say 12-6 months before the wedding is when you should find a dress!

ashleyylo · March 2016

Personally, I would tell your friends to calm the eff down -- styles, your body, and possibly your taste can have changed drastically by wedding time. I would focus on other wedding prep and not even bother with dress shopping until the begining of 2017 so that you have a few months to look and buy...and then time to alter.

I also hated the dress shopping process. Not only does it blow my mind at how stupid expensive the dresses are, but it's so annoying to not be able to have a good idea of what they will even look like once they are altered to fit.

I have read over and over ... Do NOT buy a dress too small with the intention of losing weight to fit. Buy a dress that fits your current body, and then alter it if you happen to loose some weight.

Stressing over NEEDING to loose weight might backfire and seriously you will have a ton of other stuff to think about plus lots of fun parties etc.

A question for brides who lost weight for their weddings

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