Feeling discouraged by people's comments

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dustedwithsugar
dustedwithsugar Posts: 179 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey there! It's my first time starting thread here and to be honest I could use some pep talk.

So I'm losing weight steadily since I started, about 0,7 kg weekly. I'm short and I don't move that much, so I'm eating between 1300-1500 kcal. I'm not hungry and I'm having meals and treats I love, all included in my daily allowance.
Lately I heard comments that I'm starving myself and I should eat more. Together with "starvation mode" theory and that I need to eat more to lose more
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Replies

  • bezza666
    bezza666 Posts: 730 Member
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    The nutrients section is good on here to check that. Good diet and exercise is the right combination.
  • aashwill
    aashwill Posts: 64 Member
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    Are the people making these comments folks you would really want to take weight loss advice from? Often negativity like this is motivated by envy.

    "Starvation mode" is not something you need to worry about if you are eating 1500 calories a day.
  • dustedwithsugar
    dustedwithsugar Posts: 179 Member
    edited March 2016
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    It cut my post in half, sorry!

    So is it true that you can slow down your metabolism when eating slightly below bmr?
    I feel really discouraged, I think I'm doing good job eating right and exercising regularly.
    How do you get over comments like that? Do you bother to educate those people? Or do you just ignore them?
    I had really good week and i expect to see 0,7 less on my scale tomorrow. But now I'm really upset and I'm wondering, am I really doing something wrong?
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
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    dustedwithsugar wrote: »
    It cut my post in half, sorry!

    So is it true that you can slow down your metabolism when eating slightly below bmr?
    I feel really discouraged, I think I'm doing good job eating right and exercising regularly.
    How do you get over comments like that? Do you bother to educate those people? Or do you just ignore them?
    I had really good weight and i expect to see 0,7 less on my scale tomorrow. But now I'm really upset and I'm wondering, am I really doing something wrong?

    You definitely ignore them. When I first started losing weight, I got a few "You look good!" kind of comments when I lost the first eight or so. Once it was 15 pounds, the comments became about how I "still need to look like a woman", or how I probably never eat cake. I was asked what my "secret" was and was called a liar when I mentioned counting calories and being active. "I go to the gym and I don't lose weight!" I noticed that the people who had the strongest opinions about what my body should look like and how I should achieve my goals were people that aren't fit in any way, shape, or form. That helped me disregard their opinions real fast.
  • victoria_1024
    victoria_1024 Posts: 915 Member
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    Yeah I don't like that people feel the need to comment. At first I got a lot of positive comments. But now that I'm in a technically healthy weight range I've had a couple people tell me I should stop losing weight and one friend asked if I'm anorexic. Keep in mind I'm nowhere near underweight and eat between 1600-1800 calories a day, hardly anorexic. People are used to seeing me fat so now that I'm thin they aren't sure what to think. Some I think are jealous and others are threatened. Just keep doing your thing, be healthy.
  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,765 Member
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    You're clearly rocking it, and they're jealous. Ignore!
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
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    No such thing as starvation mode
  • trjjoy
    trjjoy Posts: 666 Member
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    Ignore them.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    If a person didn't tell you you were too fat, they don't get to comment on you being slim.
  • Mavrick_RN
    Mavrick_RN Posts: 439 Member
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    Unless someone is with you 24/7 they don't really know what you are doing / eating. If you didn't ask for their comment then they can go back to minding their own business. OR you could say something polite like "I'm taking very good care of myself and have never felt better."
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
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    Orphia wrote: »
    If a person didn't tell you you were too fat, they don't get to comment on you being slim.

    Haha...I like! OP, it sounds like you're doing great. As you get closer to GW, you may want to decrease your deficit to slow loss. That makes the transition to maintenance smoother, too. Keep it up!
  • admckee486
    admckee486 Posts: 10 Member
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    Yes, ignore them. It's not easy. But it's still the easiest option.
    I have gotten all kinds of opinions and advice. Most people are well meaning, but that doesn't make them right. I used to argue. And then I started trying to persuade. But either way I'd just end up frustrated. Now I just thank people for their advice.
    As for 'starvation mode,' I'm not an expert. But I've been eating around 1200 calories on weekdays and 1500 on weekends, and I've been steadily losing for about 7 weeks. I'm a 5'3" female. So I would assume you're in the clear.
    Congratulations on your weight loss! You've gotta do what works best for you and your body. We're all different.
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,389 Member
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    If you are reaching your goals in a healthy way, that is all that really matters. At times some of the posters on any given website want to be the "experts" and tell you what you are going wrong. There are plenty of those around, but there are also some real experts and professionals that will help steer you in the right direction if you ever do struggle to reach goals. The hard part at times is figuring out which ones only have expert opinions in their own minds.

    If you are losing at that rate, you're not hungry, you have energy, etc... you're fine. If there is any goal you aren't reaching, you can get good feedback and information here, you just sometimes have to weed through the mess it's mixed in with.
  • MeganSchuyler16
    MeganSchuyler16 Posts: 189 Member
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    Honestly, my calorie goal is set to 1300, but I've been drinking so much water and tea along with eating healthier that some days I find I can't even manage to eat 1200 calories. Healthy foods give you the ability to eat more and consume less calories, especially when it comes to eating veggies. I feel like whenever I can eat 1300 calories it's a miracle lol. When I hit 1150 calories a start feeling really full, sometimes bloated or nauseous. I work a desk job and only have time to walk about 60min a day. Listen to your body :)
  • dustedwithsugar
    dustedwithsugar Posts: 179 Member
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    Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
    For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
    I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,973 Member
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    Pass this link about starvation mode along to those people: http://www.aworkoutroutine.com/starvation-mode/

    And move more. Your older self will be grateful. I wish I'd preserved the muscle I'd had when I was 23.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Mavrick_RN wrote: »
    Unless someone is with you 24/7 they don't really know what you are doing / eating.

    ^^This!!

    One of my co-workers used to say "You don't eat ANYTHING!!" when she saw what I had for lunch or would order lunch for the office and not include me because "I know you don't eat anymore".

    I finally said to her, "Really? What did I have for breakfast this morning? What do I plan to have for dinner?"

    Silence, of course, because how could she know? I explained that I DO eat, but that lunch was my lightest meal of the day because I enjoy a big breakfast and a nice dinner. Lunch is usually just something to tide me over between the two. But I could adjust my dinner plan if the office was ordering something delicious for lunch!

    It bugged me that I even had to explain it, but it did stop the comments....except now she's gone in the opposite direction and tries to push more food on me, LOL.

  • MalkienChrysantheum
    MalkienChrysantheum Posts: 14 Member
    edited March 2016
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    With my first serious boyfriend, I was in the same boat as you. He could not seem to get it into his head that I'm only 5'2" AND fine-boned AND female- the holy trinity of having to eat less than most people and still be healthy and free of any eating disorder. As obvious as it seems to us that a certain size and amount of lean mass means a certain number of calories, others are used to the idea of the same portions regardless. You should educate those around you when they say such things and remember that it is YOUR body, not anyone else's. If they still don't listen, just keep doing what you believe is right and they will probably get used to it. If not, keep going anyway. I wish I had done this years ago and I would be a stronger and different person now. You shouldn't have to put things in your body to please other people who have nothing to do with your body.
  • Wysewoman53
    Wysewoman53 Posts: 582 Member
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    Orphia wrote: »
    If a person didn't tell you you were too fat, they don't get to comment on you being slim.

    I love this! What a great thought and advice!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I had a relative come up to me at a funeral of all places, you know, the dinner afterwards, and accuse me of not eating, "I didn't see you eat!"

    "I did," I replied, and turned my back.

    It still rankles. My transformation is startling, especially for people who haven't seen me in a while, but was I asking for the food police? They can MYOB.

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