depression

Jacob1020 wrote: »

Sorry to be blunt again, But I belive you should be happy! I don't care what others here want to tell you at OP. I don't believe in sugar coating my words either, But alot of us in life will go through things just know there is sunshine on the other side and you will make it regardless of what anyone's says or does.

@Jacob1020 I couldn't understand why my Mom couldn't just be "happy," then she committed suicide during a severe bout of depression. I think you mean well, you just don't know what the hell you're talking about. There is a genetic tendency toward depression and guess which one of the five kids in my family drew the short straw? It's ongoing for me, but I have been relatively free of serious episodes for several years now. I believe exercise and spending quality time outdoors helps me.

Jacob1020 wrote: »

Sorry to be blunt again, But I belive you should be happy! I don't care what others here want to tell you at OP. I don't believe in sugar coating my words either, But alot of us in life will go through things just know there is sunshine on the other side and you will make it regardless of what anyone's says or does.

I feel that is guy is obnoxious and, like some have already said, completely ignorant to what depression is.
It is not something you can just "cheer up" from. You can't "just be happy".
Depression is, wishing you could just be happy yet feeling like you never will be truly happy. It's putting on a mask to the outside world and being normal, yet on the inside you feel like you're drowning in the ocean with no sign of land or a boat to save you. That ocean is life, and everything about life that is normal human activities like, getting out of bed, going to work or school, calling someone on the phone for something, answering simple questions, making decisions, getting any small task done, etc... Any of these, simple, easy, normal things for most people can feel like hell when you have depression.
And people usually don't understand unless they have it themselves. That's actually the only way they can truly understand what it's like.

I know what it's like to feel like you can't handle anything at all, like you can't handle life in general. Where it's easier to just be alone and play video games and escape than deal with things that need to be done.

My advice, is DO NOT GIVE UP! It sucks to feel like this, I know, but it's not worth the alternative to not be alive at all.
I've learned to look for the simple beautiful things in life and hold on to them tight. Look for anything and everything that has meaning to you and don't let go.

Definitely keep in touch with your doctor and see a therapist/psychologist if that will help.

Love yourself first and alway keep fighting!

@Panda_brat wanted to wish you well with your Dr's appt. I'm really glad that you have been up-front and that you are being pro-active with your health.

As many have said, depression is such a difficult illness to live with. It has many faces and facets. Over my years I have been medicated to the eyebrows (sadly with little success) and have used CBT (helpful), self-help in the form of meditation, exercise, trying to push past the lack of motivation and the exhaustion. (varies with the amount of help it provides)

I have now reached a place where thankfully I don't need meds. anymore. I still endure the "Black Dog" periodically and have a plan of action where usually I alone can bring myself through the rough patch.

As has been evident in this thread there is still a lot of ignorance and stigma around Mental Health. I was suicidal in the 1990's and have been told to shake it off, there is always another day, other people have it worse than you, why do you feel depressed - Geez look at your life you've got this and this to look forward to. Those comments crushed me and I became very reclusive and secretive about my illness.

For me I was in the situation where I became ill due to a life changing event, but I held out for too long before I sought help and it became truly endogenous depression where my brain chemically changed. I wish I had NOT internalized the above comments....I would/should have sought help much sooner but the shame was too great, ending up in Hospital having ECT was my lowest point and something that still haunts me to this day. So don't let anyone tell you this isn't real and deserving of treatment.

I wish you well.

Sorry to be blunt the third time @ Panda_brat. you will be Just fine. Sunshine on the otherside my friend

I have been treated for depression since by my first child was born, 26 years ago. If I had known then what I know now, I would have asked for help a lot sooner. Try to remember that clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, as other posts have stated. You need the right medication and the healthy changes like vitamins and good eating which will optimize your health. It is no different than a diabetic controlling his condition with medicine and diet. If the meds don't work right away, go back to the doctor. You have a right to be happy and well, so keep on your doctor and counselor until they give you the help you need.

Jacob1020 wrote: »

Sorry to be blunt the third time @ Panda_brat. you will be Just fine. Sunshine on the otherside my friend

Believe it or not saying things like this to a person with clinical depression not only does not help but it makes things worse. The "just think happy thoughts and things will get better" advice just makes a depressed person even more upset and depressed because no matter how hard they try they can't think happy, can't feel happy and can't be happy. It isn't that they want to be sad and depressed. it is not that they are not trying. It is that they just can't. Physically and psychologically it is impossible for them to feel joy because the chemicals in their brain won't allow them to. People like us need more than cheerful messages from well meaning but oblivious people with properly functioning brain chemistry.

I attended a lecture recently on SAD because my depression is much worse in the winter. I found it very educational and received some good references for therapists from the person giving the lecture. Unfortunately not only is there the seasonal factor but also the emotional trauma of having most my husband after several months of illness which all happened between January and April. I have experienced anxiety and depression and PMDD since puberty. No help from doctors and family. They all just told me to exercise and cheer up. I stopped bothering to tell people I was having a problem, even when I wanted to die I kept it to myself because no one ever listened. Telling someone that others have it worse... that is even more depressing.

It is really hard for someone with this illness to function in daily life. Often we are strongly empathic and highly sensitive so every little thing pushes up further past the edge. Every person coming to use to talk about their problems just adds to our load. Learning how to cope is largely self taught unless a person stumbles across others like themselves who allow them in enough to see that they are not alone and unique in the world.

I got very lucky to find a few people in my life who would actually listen and understand that this was a real problem. They allowed me to talk out my issues, they let me know that they believed me and that it was not all in my head. Several of my friends even shared with me that they had at some point gone to a professional for this kind of problem and how much it had helped them. Seeking professional help is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. And I was lucky enough to find a few people who understood what was going on and helped me to understand what it is to be a highly sensitive empath and how to manage the energy drain of all of the people who use us as their dumping ground for negative emotion.

I've suffered most of my adult life, when it hits I feel like I'm in the bottom of a hole n no one cares that I'm there unless they need something from me, even then I think they are reluctant to ask me! I feel alone and sinking
But I am now on medication which keeps it at bay, however it takes work from me to keep me going, I think finding something to focus on helps, it's took me to be in my 40s to find exercise really has changed things for me
Going to c ur dr is a big 1st step. Good luck

Panda_brat wrote: »

When I get bad, it is more of anxiety and panic that hit's me. I think I need a combo of things to help. I am slowly getting things done on step at a time. Is any one else on Zoloft? and how was their reaction to it?

Anxiety and depression go hand in hand most times so I know if I'm feeling one the other isn't far behind. I take Prozac to help keep my anxiety at bay which in turn keeps my depression away as well. I do work with a therapist in CBT to eventually not have to take/rely on medication. Glad you're seeking help and hope you're doing well!