Breaking up nicely?

monet11
monet11 Posts: 9
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
Anyone know how to let a guy who is "in love" or more like "obsessed" down easily?
): i feel bad because im not as into him as he is into me and dont know what to do...i cant keep stringing him along, but breaking his heart makes me feel like crap too



HELP IF YOU CAN

Replies

  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
    just tell him the truth about how you feel. It may hurt his feelings at first, but he'll get over it...they all do
  • HeelsAndBoxingGloves
    HeelsAndBoxingGloves Posts: 916 Member
    I agree with liz ... you have to just tell them the truth and it hurts (for both of you!) but you will both be better off and be able to find happiness :smile:
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    He was planning our wedding and had started looking into adoptions. I'm not kidding. We'd been dating for 3 months.

    I have no tact. Don't do what I did.

    He told me he loved me. I told him I wanted to break up.

    Don't do that.
  • merrycat
    merrycat Posts: 131 Member
    How obsessed is obsessed? If he's nice but just clueless, tell him kindly as you can that you don't see him that way, and never will. Do not appologise or say anything that could give him encouragement, because people in love are great at deluding themselves. I know this sounds harsh but, having been on both sides of the equation, I can tell you it's better to be direct. Rather like pulling off a a bandaid.

    If he goes beyond that to creepy, if you've told him and he's refusing to take the hint, then I think you need to amp things up and trhwo politeness out of the window. Women, unfortunately, are expected to always "be nice" and never hurt anyone's feelings, even at the expense of their own happiness or safety. Some guys take advantage of this by pushing their unwanted attentions on women and then accusing them of being a b*tch if the woman dares to rebuff them. They way I look at it, better b*tchy and safe than "nice" and assaulted.
  • gbbhey
    gbbhey Posts: 188
    cannot be done. if he truly feels that way, it's going to suck for him (and you). eventually, he'll move on and find something new, but for now just be firm and honest with him and yourself. and don't do it in an e-mail! he deserves better than that!
  • mrowrmeowmrowr
    mrowrmeowmrowr Posts: 288 Member
    Can a break up ever be nice? I don't think so.

    Sit him down, preferably at his place (so you can leave), and just tell him how you feel. Maybe that everything he's been saying is really overwhelming for you and that you've realized that this isn't the relationship you can see yourself being in forever.
  • monet11
    monet11 Posts: 9
    Thanks for the advice guys i think you all pretty much agree, its gotta be done so i might as well just be clear, honest, and firm. It won't be easy but I know you guys are right, its not fair for him or me to be in something that isn't working.

    Wish me luck, and hope for the best for him please, he really is a nice guy, just not the one for me.
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    Buy him a bottle of Tequila and a box of tissues and tell him straight.

    Honesty is the best policy unless you really want to f*** him up.
  • monet11
    monet11 Posts: 9
    he isnt a drinker and i dont think im worth crying over, but thanks for the heads up :wink:
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
    Anyone know how to let a guy who is "in love" or more like "obsessed" down easily?
    ): i feel bad because im not as into him as he is into me and dont know what to do...i cant keep stringing him along, but breaking his heart makes me feel like crap too

    When I break up with a girl, I always buy her a dozen roses. I like my breakups to be as memorable as they are devastating.
    -wtk
  • monet11
    monet11 Posts: 9
    that would just make me sad, and confused..
  • meggers123
    meggers123 Posts: 711 Member
    he isnt a drinker and i dont think im worth crying over, but thanks for the heads up :wink:


    Um, not sure he meant the tissues for crying... just saying.
  • kathryn84
    kathryn84 Posts: 25 Member
    Just do it quick as possible. Like a band-aide. Good luck. Those situations always blow for both
  • BethanieK
    BethanieK Posts: 201
    You could always do it via a Post-It. Probably not pink though, that's just kicking him while he's down.
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