Feeling discouraged by people's comments
dustedwithsugar
Posts: 179 Member
Hey there! It's my first time starting thread here and to be honest I could use some pep talk.
So I'm losing weight steadily since I started, about 0,7 kg weekly. I'm short and I don't move that much, so I'm eating between 1300-1500 kcal. I'm not hungry and I'm having meals and treats I love, all included in my daily allowance.
Lately I heard comments that I'm starving myself and I should eat more. Together with "starvation mode" theory and that I need to eat more to lose more
So I'm losing weight steadily since I started, about 0,7 kg weekly. I'm short and I don't move that much, so I'm eating between 1300-1500 kcal. I'm not hungry and I'm having meals and treats I love, all included in my daily allowance.
Lately I heard comments that I'm starving myself and I should eat more. Together with "starvation mode" theory and that I need to eat more to lose more
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The nutrients section is good on here to check that. Good diet and exercise is the right combination.0
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Are the people making these comments folks you would really want to take weight loss advice from? Often negativity like this is motivated by envy.
"Starvation mode" is not something you need to worry about if you are eating 1500 calories a day.0 -
It cut my post in half, sorry!
So is it true that you can slow down your metabolism when eating slightly below bmr?
I feel really discouraged, I think I'm doing good job eating right and exercising regularly.
How do you get over comments like that? Do you bother to educate those people? Or do you just ignore them?
I had really good week and i expect to see 0,7 less on my scale tomorrow. But now I'm really upset and I'm wondering, am I really doing something wrong?0 -
dustedwithsugar wrote: »It cut my post in half, sorry!
So is it true that you can slow down your metabolism when eating slightly below bmr?
I feel really discouraged, I think I'm doing good job eating right and exercising regularly.
How do you get over comments like that? Do you bother to educate those people? Or do you just ignore them?
I had really good weight and i expect to see 0,7 less on my scale tomorrow. But now I'm really upset and I'm wondering, am I really doing something wrong?
You definitely ignore them. When I first started losing weight, I got a few "You look good!" kind of comments when I lost the first eight or so. Once it was 15 pounds, the comments became about how I "still need to look like a woman", or how I probably never eat cake. I was asked what my "secret" was and was called a liar when I mentioned counting calories and being active. "I go to the gym and I don't lose weight!" I noticed that the people who had the strongest opinions about what my body should look like and how I should achieve my goals were people that aren't fit in any way, shape, or form. That helped me disregard their opinions real fast.0 -
Yeah I don't like that people feel the need to comment. At first I got a lot of positive comments. But now that I'm in a technically healthy weight range I've had a couple people tell me I should stop losing weight and one friend asked if I'm anorexic. Keep in mind I'm nowhere near underweight and eat between 1600-1800 calories a day, hardly anorexic. People are used to seeing me fat so now that I'm thin they aren't sure what to think. Some I think are jealous and others are threatened. Just keep doing your thing, be healthy.0
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You're clearly rocking it, and they're jealous. Ignore!0
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No such thing as starvation mode0
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Ignore them.0
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If a person didn't tell you you were too fat, they don't get to comment on you being slim.0
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Unless someone is with you 24/7 they don't really know what you are doing / eating. If you didn't ask for their comment then they can go back to minding their own business. OR you could say something polite like "I'm taking very good care of myself and have never felt better."0
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If a person didn't tell you you were too fat, they don't get to comment on you being slim.
Haha...I like! OP, it sounds like you're doing great. As you get closer to GW, you may want to decrease your deficit to slow loss. That makes the transition to maintenance smoother, too. Keep it up!0 -
Yes, ignore them. It's not easy. But it's still the easiest option.
I have gotten all kinds of opinions and advice. Most people are well meaning, but that doesn't make them right. I used to argue. And then I started trying to persuade. But either way I'd just end up frustrated. Now I just thank people for their advice.
As for 'starvation mode,' I'm not an expert. But I've been eating around 1200 calories on weekdays and 1500 on weekends, and I've been steadily losing for about 7 weeks. I'm a 5'3" female. So I would assume you're in the clear.
Congratulations on your weight loss! You've gotta do what works best for you and your body. We're all different.0 -
If you are reaching your goals in a healthy way, that is all that really matters. At times some of the posters on any given website want to be the "experts" and tell you what you are going wrong. There are plenty of those around, but there are also some real experts and professionals that will help steer you in the right direction if you ever do struggle to reach goals. The hard part at times is figuring out which ones only have expert opinions in their own minds.
If you are losing at that rate, you're not hungry, you have energy, etc... you're fine. If there is any goal you aren't reaching, you can get good feedback and information here, you just sometimes have to weed through the mess it's mixed in with.0 -
Honestly, my calorie goal is set to 1300, but I've been drinking so much water and tea along with eating healthier that some days I find I can't even manage to eat 1200 calories. Healthy foods give you the ability to eat more and consume less calories, especially when it comes to eating veggies. I feel like whenever I can eat 1300 calories it's a miracle lol. When I hit 1150 calories a start feeling really full, sometimes bloated or nauseous. I work a desk job and only have time to walk about 60min a day. Listen to your body
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Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.0 -
Pass this link about starvation mode along to those people: http://www.aworkoutroutine.com/starvation-mode/
And move more. Your older self will be grateful. I wish I'd preserved the muscle I'd had when I was 23.0 -
Mavrick_RN wrote: »Unless someone is with you 24/7 they don't really know what you are doing / eating.
^^This!!
One of my co-workers used to say "You don't eat ANYTHING!!" when she saw what I had for lunch or would order lunch for the office and not include me because "I know you don't eat anymore".
I finally said to her, "Really? What did I have for breakfast this morning? What do I plan to have for dinner?"
Silence, of course, because how could she know? I explained that I DO eat, but that lunch was my lightest meal of the day because I enjoy a big breakfast and a nice dinner. Lunch is usually just something to tide me over between the two. But I could adjust my dinner plan if the office was ordering something delicious for lunch!
It bugged me that I even had to explain it, but it did stop the comments....except now she's gone in the opposite direction and tries to push more food on me, LOL.
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With my first serious boyfriend, I was in the same boat as you. He could not seem to get it into his head that I'm only 5'2" AND fine-boned AND female- the holy trinity of having to eat less than most people and still be healthy and free of any eating disorder. As obvious as it seems to us that a certain size and amount of lean mass means a certain number of calories, others are used to the idea of the same portions regardless. You should educate those around you when they say such things and remember that it is YOUR body, not anyone else's. If they still don't listen, just keep doing what you believe is right and they will probably get used to it. If not, keep going anyway. I wish I had done this years ago and I would be a stronger and different person now. You shouldn't have to put things in your body to please other people who have nothing to do with your body.0
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I had a relative come up to me at a funeral of all places, you know, the dinner afterwards, and accuse me of not eating, "I didn't see you eat!"
"I did," I replied, and turned my back.
It still rankles. My transformation is startling, especially for people who haven't seen me in a while, but was I asking for the food police? They can MYOB.0 -
dustedwithsugar wrote: »Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
Might it be helpful for you to go over your plan with your doctor? I'm sure the doctor would support your plan, and that would likely boost your confidence that you're doing the right thing the right way.0 -
dustedwithsugar wrote: »Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
Might it be helpful for you to go over your plan with your doctor? I'm sure the doctor would support your plan, and that would likely boost your confidence that you're doing the right thing the right way.
@dustedwithsugar - yes, and then you can throw down the Appeal to Authority card by telling the negative commenters that your doctor in onboard with what you are doing.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »dustedwithsugar wrote: »Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
Might it be helpful for you to go over your plan with your doctor? I'm sure the doctor would support your plan, and that would likely boost your confidence that you're doing the right thing the right way.
@dustedwithsugar - yes, and then you can throw down the Appeal to Authority card by telling the negative commenters that your doctor in onboard with what you are doing.
LOL! Not sure that would work, though. How many times have we seen it here? "My doctor told me that in order to lose weight, I need to___________". To which many reply, "Most doctors actually know very little about weight loss and nutrition" or "You need to get a new doctor".
OP, when people make comments, just say, "Why would you say that?" with the German Shepherd Head Tilt.
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Lions don't concern themselves with the opinions of sheep.0
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dustedwithsugar wrote: »It cut my post in half, sorry!
So is it true that you can slow down your metabolism when eating slightly below bmr?
Any weight loss with reduce metabolism (since you weigh less), and a more aggressive one can have a greater effect, although if you are losing within a reasonable range (1% of total weight/week) you are probably fine.I feel really discouraged, I think I'm doing good job eating right and exercising regularly.
How do you get over comments like that? Do you bother to educate those people? Or do you just ignore them?
I had really good week and i expect to see 0,7 less on my scale tomorrow. But now I'm really upset and I'm wondering, am I really doing something wrong?
I would ignore them. This is also why I just didn't talk in detail to anyone about what I was doing, since everyone has weird opinions about dieting and I was confident in my own plan and didn't see a need to discuss it (and also most people really don't want to hear about it, in reality). I wouldn't talk about how many calories I was eating or how much I was losing per week, for example. If someone asked what I was doing (unless they seemed genuinely interested for their own weight loss efforts) I would say breezily "eating less, moving more!" or "watching what I eat and I got back to working out again."0 -
Ignore the naysayers. I'm waiting on the anorexia comments when I get near goal. I use my doctor and health as a great comeback.0
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OP are these people in real life commenting on your approach to weight loss? Are they people they are close to, who know your history with an eating disorder, or just casual acquaintances? While I agree that it's really not anyone's business how you choose to go about this, if they are someone who knows your history they could just be worried that you are restricting too heavily and slipping back into old habits. I second the suggestion to work with your doctor or dietitian to make sure that your approach is the best for you - both mentally and physically.
Also - no, starvation mode doesn't really exist. Not in the way these people are suggesting. However, long term struggles with eating disorders can often have a lasting effect on our body's ability to lose weight following normal methods which is why I encourage you to work with your doctor.0 -
I look at MFP as simple math. Eat at a slight calorie deficit and you must lose weight. It really showed me how much I was over eating. Not that you have to but it is a positive to eat better quality foods and add some exercise to the mix. All of the above will contribute to your overall wellness.0
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Probably talking out of ignorance. Weight loss/fitness can be complicated. Nutrients / macros / micros, which exercise cardio or weights, there's a lot to think about. Unless they are really interested in the theory and practice they may never understand. It's all about how you feel you are doing, how you're progressing. There's ups and downs but if you're doing ok, let them think what they want. Only you know what is happening.0
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we're so desensitized to the actual amount of food our bodies need by huge portions and calorie dense foods that many people can't imagine living eating only so much. Much less can they imagine subtracting some to create a calorie deficit for weight loss. So they make comments out of their ignorance. I was out to lunch recently and my friend ordered lasagna. She got a portion - kidding you not - of about 8 by 8 inches and 2 1/2 inches tall. That's 4 large portions on one lunch plate. Then there's the fast food dilemma: a regular size burger and small fries is, truly, a tiny bit of food, even though it may have 600-700 calories. Because it doesn't look like much food, people think they can size up, and well, "I'm still not eating that much!" - not realizing the calorie value of that still, rather small quantity. So, know that people's comments reflect poorly not on you, but on their ignorance of nutrition.0
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