Feeling discouraged by people's comments
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dustedwithsugar wrote: »Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
Might it be helpful for you to go over your plan with your doctor? I'm sure the doctor would support your plan, and that would likely boost your confidence that you're doing the right thing the right way.0 -
dustedwithsugar wrote: »Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
Might it be helpful for you to go over your plan with your doctor? I'm sure the doctor would support your plan, and that would likely boost your confidence that you're doing the right thing the right way.
@dustedwithsugar - yes, and then you can throw down the Appeal to Authority card by telling the negative commenters that your doctor in onboard with what you are doing.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »dustedwithsugar wrote: »Thank you so much for replies everyone! It really helped me to feel better.
For me, the problem is that many years ago I used to be bulimic. I never ever want to go back to this, so sometimes people's comments (like about starvation mode and I know it's *kitten*) are messing with my head.
I've never lost so much weight before and it was never so easy! It's literally eating little less and moving more. It's funny how some people can't grasp that concept and they just love to make everything over complicated.
Might it be helpful for you to go over your plan with your doctor? I'm sure the doctor would support your plan, and that would likely boost your confidence that you're doing the right thing the right way.
@dustedwithsugar - yes, and then you can throw down the Appeal to Authority card by telling the negative commenters that your doctor in onboard with what you are doing.
LOL! Not sure that would work, though. How many times have we seen it here? "My doctor told me that in order to lose weight, I need to___________". To which many reply, "Most doctors actually know very little about weight loss and nutrition" or "You need to get a new doctor".
OP, when people make comments, just say, "Why would you say that?" with the German Shepherd Head Tilt.
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Lions don't concern themselves with the opinions of sheep.0
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dustedwithsugar wrote: »It cut my post in half, sorry!
So is it true that you can slow down your metabolism when eating slightly below bmr?
Any weight loss with reduce metabolism (since you weigh less), and a more aggressive one can have a greater effect, although if you are losing within a reasonable range (1% of total weight/week) you are probably fine.I feel really discouraged, I think I'm doing good job eating right and exercising regularly.
How do you get over comments like that? Do you bother to educate those people? Or do you just ignore them?
I had really good week and i expect to see 0,7 less on my scale tomorrow. But now I'm really upset and I'm wondering, am I really doing something wrong?
I would ignore them. This is also why I just didn't talk in detail to anyone about what I was doing, since everyone has weird opinions about dieting and I was confident in my own plan and didn't see a need to discuss it (and also most people really don't want to hear about it, in reality). I wouldn't talk about how many calories I was eating or how much I was losing per week, for example. If someone asked what I was doing (unless they seemed genuinely interested for their own weight loss efforts) I would say breezily "eating less, moving more!" or "watching what I eat and I got back to working out again."0 -
Ignore the naysayers. I'm waiting on the anorexia comments when I get near goal. I use my doctor and health as a great comeback.0
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OP are these people in real life commenting on your approach to weight loss? Are they people they are close to, who know your history with an eating disorder, or just casual acquaintances? While I agree that it's really not anyone's business how you choose to go about this, if they are someone who knows your history they could just be worried that you are restricting too heavily and slipping back into old habits. I second the suggestion to work with your doctor or dietitian to make sure that your approach is the best for you - both mentally and physically.
Also - no, starvation mode doesn't really exist. Not in the way these people are suggesting. However, long term struggles with eating disorders can often have a lasting effect on our body's ability to lose weight following normal methods which is why I encourage you to work with your doctor.0 -
I look at MFP as simple math. Eat at a slight calorie deficit and you must lose weight. It really showed me how much I was over eating. Not that you have to but it is a positive to eat better quality foods and add some exercise to the mix. All of the above will contribute to your overall wellness.0
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Probably talking out of ignorance. Weight loss/fitness can be complicated. Nutrients / macros / micros, which exercise cardio or weights, there's a lot to think about. Unless they are really interested in the theory and practice they may never understand. It's all about how you feel you are doing, how you're progressing. There's ups and downs but if you're doing ok, let them think what they want. Only you know what is happening.0
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we're so desensitized to the actual amount of food our bodies need by huge portions and calorie dense foods that many people can't imagine living eating only so much. Much less can they imagine subtracting some to create a calorie deficit for weight loss. So they make comments out of their ignorance. I was out to lunch recently and my friend ordered lasagna. She got a portion - kidding you not - of about 8 by 8 inches and 2 1/2 inches tall. That's 4 large portions on one lunch plate. Then there's the fast food dilemma: a regular size burger and small fries is, truly, a tiny bit of food, even though it may have 600-700 calories. Because it doesn't look like much food, people think they can size up, and well, "I'm still not eating that much!" - not realizing the calorie value of that still, rather small quantity. So, know that people's comments reflect poorly not on you, but on their ignorance of nutrition.0
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I started having doubts myself after reading a lot on here about how you can't possibly survive on 1200 a day, even though I've done this before and it works. I usually eat between 1200 and 1300, and I feel fine. It took me about a week to get used to it.
I might start feeling hungry about an half an hour before a meal. I actually feel *kind of* less hungry then I did before, because I'm not mistaking boredom or thirst for hunger, if that makes sense.0 -
1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.
I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.0 -
1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.
I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.
I'm still not certain that the OP was referring to comments here on MFP vs what she was hearing in real life. I would like clarification, because as I mentioned above, if it is people who are close to her who know her history with bullimia, they could just be expressing concern which is probably not mean spirited, which is what a lot of people are inferring from this.0 -
First of all thank you all for all replies. I really didn't expect it, it feels amazing to have such a support.
WinoGelato, non of those people knows about my past. Bulimic episode was looong ago (5 years).
I agree with vingogly - it seems like some people are unable to accept that different ways work on different people. It all comes down to CICO, but how we achieve it it's totally up to us. I'm mostly on plant based diet, someone else might be on paleo, low carb, raw or any other diet. But a lot of people are feeling defensive, not even if you challenge their views, but if you dare to be successful with different approach than theirs.
I guess only solution is building thick skin and ignoring things like that. I lost 20 pounds with another 20 to go, so I'll have lots of opportunities to practise that
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we're so desensitized to the actual amount of food our bodies need by huge portions and calorie dense foods that many people can't imagine living eating only so much. Much less can they imagine subtracting some to create a calorie deficit for weight loss. So they make comments out of their ignorance. I was out to lunch recently and my friend ordered lasagna. She got a portion - kidding you not - of about 8 by 8 inches and 2 1/2 inches tall. That's 4 large portions on one lunch plate. Then there's the fast food dilemma: a regular size burger and small fries is, truly, a tiny bit of food, even though it may have 600-700 calories. Because it doesn't look like much food, people think they can size up, and well, "I'm still not eating that much!" - not realizing the calorie value of that still, rather small quantity. So, know that people's comments reflect poorly not on you, but on their ignorance of nutrition.
So much this. At breakfast last weekend, everyone is ordering an all-American breakfast, and I'm sitting there doing the math in my head. Two eggs, two sausages, hashbrowns, toast, cream in my coffee? It doesn't fit. I ordered and removed the two sausages, subbed fruit for the hashbrowns and everyone looked at me funny.0 -
1300-1500 is not very low!0
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dustedwithsugar wrote: »I lost 20 pounds with another 20 to go, so I'll have lots of opportunities to practise that
Ignore the negativity....Summer will be here before you know it....and with that comes swimwear, shorts, and lots skin showing
Good job losing 20lbs! keep it up! its obviously working for you. the other 20 will be off before you know it. And with that, the naysayers will be stunned at your new and improved summertime fit self!
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1300-1500 cal is hardly starving yourself (I'm doing 1500 cal/day myself and I'm not short), so I don't know what people were thinking when they said this. Whether or not the metabolism slows down when you reduce calorie intake, if you take the long view and stick to your plan, you will eventually get where you want to go.
I think the problem is that there are a lot of opinionated people here who have found an approach that works for them, and they find posts that disagree with that approach threatening so their immediate response is to go into defensive mode and argue with those who are taking a different approach. This is not true of everyone here. You're feeling discouraged by some people's comments, not all. Welcome to the world of internet forums.
So true. A friend/acquaintance of mine has lost next to no weight while being on Slimming World (this has been going on for years! -- lose a bit - gain it all back...), yet she harped on for ages about every little in and out of how it works and how she doesn't have to count any calories, there are "super speed free" foods of which she appears to be able to have limitless amounts, then there are "syns" and "red days" and "green days", "Healthy extras", "extra easy plans"............................
After 10 minutes of this I was ready to slit my wrists. Eventually she asked me what I was doing, and I said I wasn't doing anything other than weighing my food, logging what I eat into a free app and being more active... and I lost 21lb since January. Somehow I had the feeling she wasn't really happy for me.
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