how do you motivate your spouse?

Read this thread for more feedback: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/270552-when-your-spouse-doesn-t-share-your-fitness-enthusiasm?hl=spouse

Well said Ruby. It's not worth causing tension in your marriage.

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The thing is, it has to be his decision. You can't make that choice for him. It might take him more time than it did for you. I know for a long time I hated even discussing weight or eating habits until one day, it just clicked into place for me. I really had to come to that on my own though. The best thing you can do is be supportive and try your best not to judge him.

I posted this onto that other board but this is my advice:

My boyfriend is totally uninterested in being healthy, actually he tries not to be to spite me cuz I try to be so healthy. Once in a while he has a few moments of attempting healthy habits though but that is VERY RARE and doesnt last at all. I have talked to him so many times about it because I am worried about him getting diabetes as it runs in his family and he is the only one not diagnosed with it - but he won't go to the doctor so he could already have it mildly possibly. I dont know. But I do know that I have gotten him to go on a few short bike rides as he likes to ride bikes for a short period of time, and I also challenged him to a couple games of tennis, which he ended up sprinting across the court the whole time trying to beat me So all I can say is be healthy yourself, try to influence your habits onto him - make a healthy breakfast/lunch/dinner etc that you both can enjoy together, maybe pack his lunch & snacks, and try to find activities you both enjoy or could potentially get him to do at least, or something competitive that he may end up really getting into.

To echo a lot of what has been mentioned... its got to be his/her own choice! Nagging, pushing, etc may just lead to resentment and unhappiness in your relationship. The best thing to do is be an example. When your spouse starts noticing the changes in your health, weight, shape, energy, etc its possible that it will motivate them to do the same.

My wife and I have learned not to nag each other or make comments about each others work out, eating routines to each other. If she is having an off day then she doesn't need me there telling her to get over it and go workout or whatever. We exercise using our own methods and in our own time and it works better for us. Also we have found that while we both enjoy much the same unhealthy meals and foods and snacks, we struggle to enjoy the same healthy foods, meals, and snacks. So while we definitely make the time to eat together at dinner, we often don't eat the same meals. She fixes hers, I fix mine. And it works for us. I guess I am writing all this to say in my own experience the choice all comes down to the individual and they must develop their own methods if they are going to commit long term to the lifestyle change.

I've lost 12 pounds on MFP in 40 days....I now weigh 341. My husband is all about bologna sandwiches and sour cream and onion chips. I didn't pressure him at all, even though his starting weight was 435! :noway: I just started buying healthy foods for me and continued buying crap for him. I even starting boiling my own chicken and mixing it with Mrs Dash for lunch meat, since pre-packaged has so much sodium.

Then one day, about 10 days ago, he asked me to make the chicken for him too, and to buy grapes and rice cakes and baked chips instead of "real" chips. He also started going to the gym with me, and drinking water and unsweet tea instead of coke. And you know what? He lost 21 lbs in a WEEK. They come around, you just can't pressure them AT ALL. It's gotta be their idea, and trust me, unless THEY want to lose it, they're not gona do it for you --- no matter how much they love you.

Definitely their decision - I started in Feb 2011 and got rolling eyes when I measured my food and started making changes. Everything was white, not enough veggies, low motivation for exercise, etc. I had to get off my butt and do something...but no nagging at hubby. I kept at it and the only drastic change I've made is to switch to whole grain bread (only me though !) Everything I eat is the same as before except portion size. Now he's used to it and when he dishes up a plate for me, it's in the amounts I want and that's a great help for me. Lately, I notice he's drinking much less coke and more water. This morning he started to talk about his estimated calorie count from yesterday :happy: - maybe a step onto the bandwagon ?

Finally to Ali_TSO, I am soooo guilty of what you were saying...I go to the store and buy healthy stuff for me, and crap for him! How stupid am I? I am cooking him all the comfort foods we use to eat together and maybe that is something I should stop doing...but when it comes down to it, I am cooking those things to keep him happy and probably because I feel guilty for being able to lose the weight while he still struggles.




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Not stupid at all, buying it for him doesn't mean you are shoving it in his mouth. Sure you could start cooking healthier things so that he'll eat healthy by default, but honestly if you only start buying all healthy stuff and he isn't on board, he'll get it from somewhere else.

Some tricks I used....For a while I switched to ground turkey instead of ground beef, my husband actually ended up liking it better. When I would pick up subway for us and he asked for extra meat on his, I "accidentally" forgot and he never noticed. Try little tricks like that, and then maybe slowly work on buying less and less junk food. It will help you to, not to be tempted by all kinds of yummy junk in the house.